woman with dead child

Phantom of the Opera explained, song by song
  • Prologue: Once upon a time...
  • Overture: If this song played at your funeral, you'd rise from the dead
  • Think of Me: Musical theatre version of the Eye of the Tiger montage
  • Angel of Music: Yeah it's totally my dead dad
  • Little Lotte: Friendzoned
  • The Mirror: Friendzoned part 2
  • Title Song: This isn't my dead dad
  • Music of the Night: This organ isn't the only thing I can use my fingers on
  • Stranger Than You Dreamt It: U G L Y u ain't got no alibi u ugly
  • Magical Lasso: Bitch shut up
  • Notes: This is just about the only comic relief you get in this damn show
  • Prima Donna: What's the worst that can happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Poor Fool: 🐸
  • Why Have You Brought Me Here: There's like one redeeming trait in Erik and I'm holding onto it sorry Raoul the music is too bomb (still hella scared though)
  • All I Ask of You: The first happy moment of the show
  • All I Ask of You Reprise: Betrayal, anger, falling chandeliers, and this isn't even the worst that can happen yet
  • Masquerade: The second and final happy moment of the show
  • Why So Silent: Happy time is over
  • Notes: The fuck?
  • Twisted Every Way: Terrible idea. Let's do it.
  • Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again: Time to be a strong independent woman
  • Wandering Child: Not falling for the dead dad thing this time, wait maybe...
  • Bravo Monsieur: Imma fite everyone, let my damn opera start
  • The Point of No Return: If sex was a song
  • Final Lair: Great googly moogly it's all gone to shit

((Music: Secret Garden - Sleepsong))
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
Thy angels watch me through the night
And keep me safe til morning’s light
If I should live another day
I pray the lord to guide my way
Though if I die before I wake
I pray the lord my soul to take.
(Graphite, Pigment Ink, Digital)
Artwork & Character by Leviticus Rott


1st picture – An Armenian woman kneeling beside a dead child in field “within sight of help and safety at Aleppo”, an Ottoman city.
2nd picture – Greek civilians mourn their dead relatives, Great Fire of Smyrna, 1922.

History behind these two pictures.

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the day where upwards of 1.5 million Armenians we massacred by Turkish soldiers. Armenians were slaughtered in a form of ethnic cleansing. The Armenian Genocide (x) also known as the Armenian Holocaust was the Ottoman government’s systematic extermination of its minority Armenian subjects inside their historic homeland, which lies within the territory constituting the present-day Republic of Turkey. The total number of people killed as a result has been estimated at between 800,000 to 1.5 million. Turkey, the successor state of the Ottoman Empire, denies the word genocide is an accurate term for the mass killings of Armenians that began under Ottoman rule in 1915. It points to the fact that up to 2.5 million Anatolian Muslims lost their lives during World War I and denies that atrocities against Armenian populations were part of an organized plan to eradicate the Armenians. It has in recent years been faced with repeated calls to recognize them as genocide. To date, twenty-three countries have officially recognized the mass killings as genocide, a view which is shared by most genocide scholars and historians.

The Greek genocide, part of which is known as the Pontic genocide, was the systematic ethnic cleansing of the Christian Ottoman Greek population from its historic homeland in Anatolia during World War I and its aftermath (1914–23).  Estimates for the death toll of Anatolian Greeks as a whole are significantly higher, a team of American researchers found in the early postwar period that the total number of Greeks killed may approach 900,000 people. The Allies of World War I condemned the Ottoman government-sponsored massacres as crimes against humanity. More recently, the International Association of Genocide Scholars passed a resolution in 2007 recognising the Ottoman campaign against Christian minorities of the Empire, including the Greeks, as genocide. Some other organisations have also passed resolutions recognising the campaign as a genocide, as have the parliaments of Greece, Cyprus, Sweden, Armenia, and The Netherlands. (x)

We were connected by religion, we were connected by land, we are connected by tragedy. May the souls of our ancestors find peace. May the tragedies find recognition, may people not repeat the same mistakes, may history teach us a lesson. Because these photographs don’t lie.

anonymous asked:

Angst? How about the rfa+V and saeran learning that after many times trying MC lost the baby and the doctor tells them there are low possibilities to actually being able to have a baby?

Thaaaank you for this request and i hope you like it!( Don’t hate me because it’s shitty)!(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

  Please feel free to send me a feedback, if this is NOT what you wanted, I’ll do it again in no time!

Any mistakes, report to me.


  • You’ve not been feeling very well recently, so he takes you to the doctor.
  • He’s always smiling and reassuring you that everything is fine…
  • But he’s scared.
  • He knows how hard it was to get you to be pregnant.
  • Now you’re and he’s really happy about it!
  • But you’re in pain and he doesn’t like this, he’s worried about you and the baby.
  • But he has to put a fake smile on his face and say that “Everything was going to be fine”.
  • After some exams, tests, the doctor is back, with a not so happy face.
  • You and Yoosung were smiling because he was being a sweet like always, but when you both saw the doctor face, that smile fade away.
  • “…I have bad news…Your baby…Is dead…You have really low possibility to actually have a baby”
  • You froze and Yoosung froze…Some tears are falling from your eyes, but you can’t have a proper reaction, actually, you can’t even have a reaction right now.
  • “I’m sorry…" 
  • After that, Yoosung began to cry, a lot looks like all the strength he was building all fell apart.
  • He just can’t believe….He hugs you and you two are crying so much right now.
  • After that, everything was a little more difficult, you guys can try to have a baby again…Yeah, maybe you guys can do it, a lot of women already had those problems and have a child in their arms now.
  • His strength is back, he needs to be strong, look at you, you’re.
  • But maybe, at least now, the best decision is to adopt…You guys will love this child live you guys would love your own son.
  • Actually, this kid is our son now.
  • And the smiles are back again.
  • This is what he dreamed about…An adoption…
  • But his depression is getting the best of him now…You can’t trust him to take care of a child no more.


  • He’s so protective right now…!
  • It was so hard to get you pregnant, so he’ll treasure you and this prince or princess, or maybe both!
  • Zen’s just so happy right now, oh god, he’s smiling so much that his face hurts!
  • But one day you saw a little blood on your pants, you tell Zen that, for you, it must be nothing, but he’s worried.
  • He takes you to the hospital.
  • He’s worried but he’s like “Stop Zen, you’re being dramatic again”
  • After the tests and exams the doctor enters the room, Zen was singing to you, and you were laughing, he loves to make you good in hard times.
  • “I have some bad news for you guys” Zen stopped singing, and he looks at the doctor…Well, bad news…Nothing can be that bad…Right? That was what he was thinking.
  • “Your baby is dead…You have low possibilities to actually have a baby…We will have to make a surgery to take out the child from you, i’m—”
  • Zen cut the doctor out “NO!” he was saying in the verge of tears, angry at the situation, he just can’t believe 
  • “NOBODY WILL TAKE MY CHILD FROM ME, AND FROM MY WIFE! WE TAKE SUCH A CARE…! THIS CAN’T BE POSSIBLE” He was crying, angry, screaming at the doctor who was surprised by his action.
  • “ISN’T THAT RIGHT MC?!” He looks at you, this was too much for you, you know that was nothing that you two can do now, so you were crying “MC…?”
  • At that moment he realizes…How weak, he was being, look at you, you were the mother, you’re suffering and he’s like a child now.
  • “I’m sorry babe…I’m sorry…” He hugs you, and you cry on his shoulder while he was looking up, promising that everything was going to be alright.
  • All that situation didn’t change Zen, he thinks that not because something doesn’t work one time, or two, it’s going to be like that forever.
  • He’ll always try, try to have a kid with you.
  • But every day he cries because of the little princess that he hasn’t the chance to protect.
  • He failed…


  • He’s just too happy that he can actually have a family with you.
  • You made him a very, very happy.
  • But he’s concerned, it was hard to you be pregnant, so he hires a lot of doctors when you’re actually pregnant.
  • Jumin always thinks about all the possibilities, but he couldn’t even imagine that this was going to happen.
  • He came to the hospital after Jaehee informed you that something happened, that the doctor needs to have certain of one thing…
  • When he got there, he wanted to enter your room but the doctor stopped him, he was listening to you crying, he doesn’t know why, but he wants to comfort you.
  • The doctor just looked at him “Your wife lost the baby…I’m sorry…But the chances that she can have a baby one day is very low…” Jumin grabs the doctor by his coat.
  • His face, his eyes, you could read from there a lot of emotions…Sadness, frustration, pain…Anger.
  • The doctor seems surprised, but Jumin doesn’t care
  • He realizes that your cry gets louder, you were hearing his words…And probably…That was hurting you so much.
  • He pushes the doctor and enters that room, he looks at you, you look at him, he can see the pain in your eyes…
  • And you can see the pain in his.
  • After that, he realizes that you need him now…He needs to stop acting like that.
  • When you get out of that hospital after all that procedures, he’ll cry on your shoulder, letting all that he was keeping.
  • That was hard, but Jumin Han is not a quitter.
  • The doctor says that chances were very low, not nonexistent,
  • And he can’t look at the crib that you guys already purchased without crying.
  • That hurts…That hurts so much…
  • That heart that everybody thinks that he doesn’t have…It’s broken now.


  • He’ll finally have a family now!
  • Hey, look at this dad shirt i bought! Look, one mommy short and one baby shirt!
  • MC, you’re going to use this!
  • What? You think this is cringing? This is love!
  • He’s all smiles right now.
  • But when you said to him that was a little of blood coming out of you, his face is suddenly serious…
  • But after some while, he smiles “Well, i’m sure this is nothing…But let’s go to the hospital” You smile and nod.
  • But in the car, you can see he’s all serious again…
  • After those exams, those tests, the doctor come, Seven was being a dork, making you laugh…Looks like he was preparing you for something.
  • “…I don’t have good news” You two look at the doctor who sighs “…Your child is death…Was a spontaneous abortion…Your chances to actually have a baby is very low…I’m sorry…We’ll need to take the baby out of you.”
  • You start to cry, was so hard for you to get pregnant…And now you lost it? 
  • But Seven’s on the other hand…Is just serious.
  • He hugs you, letting you cry on his shoulder, you’re surprised at how much he’s strong, even in this situation.
  • Before the procedure he kissed your belly, saying the last goodbye with a sad smile on his face.
  • If you don’t want to give up, he’ll not give up.
  • You grateful at how much Seven supports you, how much he was strong.
  • Little did you know that every night he asks God why he take his child away…He cries, cries so much…He looks at a star and smile
  • “…You’re up there right now my little tomato?”


  • He’s so excited…He’s Thinking about getting his surgery!
  • Finally, everything was going on so well in his life!
  • He can’t help it to not let that smile don’t fade away from his face 24/7
  • The only time that smile fade from his face was the day that you told him that you think you need to do some exams.
  • He’s praying, praying that…That you’re not thinking that something wrong might happen…
  • Now he’s really thinking something might have happened…But he doesn’t want this…It was so hard…
  • After some exams, after some tests, the doctor says to you guys…That you lost the baby, that you have almost 0 possibilities to actually have one baby one day.
  • He listens to your crying, his vision is blurry, he thanks god for that, he doesn’t want to see your face…This was going to be so much for him…
  • The doctor is leaving the room, he’s going after him, with tears falling from his eyes, making it even more blurry “DOCTOR!" 
  • The doctor stops walking and looks at V, V stop in front of him, looking like a waterfall.
  • "Please…Say i can do anything…Please…I can’t lose my child…” 
  • “I’m sorry Mister Kim…I can’t do anything…” V got on his knees, begging “Please…Listen to my wife crying…To a mother crying…Please…!”
  • Even after all that, V knew…That was nothing nobody could do…The child is death.
  • His head was in silence, while he cries, putting his head on the ground, he’s finished.
  • When he came back to you, he’s a mess…You’re a mess, he blames himself to not come to you.
  • He hugs you, letting you cry…He’s in silence, but in his head…He’s crying.
  • His child was taken…Our child was taken.
  • His heart was taken too…
  • In the past months, he’s been really strong…You know he always cries in the night…
  • He smiles every time you talk about adoption…Or trying again.
  • But you realize one thing that you probably shouldn’t….V’s dead inside.
  • You wake in the morning every day with a fear…A fear that he was slowly going to be taken from you too.


  • He was a little concerned about all this…He was going to be a good father?
  • Stop Saeran, it was hard getting pregnant for MC…And now you’re going to be like that?
  • It was a lot of things going through his head right now.
  • He’s happy now with this, never in his life, he thought of being a dad.
  • Never in his life, he thought of being happy!
  • You make him feel better.
  • But one day you told him that you bleed a bit and you were in pain, he asks Saeyoung for help.
  • And he takes you guys to the hospital, he stayed in the car while you and Saeran go make your exams.
  • Ok, they’re finished.
  • When the doctor told you guys the news, you started to cry…He can’t believe it, he punches the wall.
  • The doctor is moving away from him, Saeran almost hit him if some securities don’t go there and hold him back “LET ME GO! LET ME GO!”
  • He just can’t believe this…Yesterday you two were having dinner, talking about the plans for this child…The names…
  • When he’s calm, the seat in a chair, closing his eyes…Wanting that this pain goes away…But it doesn’t.
  • When he goes to you, he looks at you, you’re wiping your tears, he hugs you without hesitation.
  • He’s sorry for doing that…Now he’s crying like a baby on your shoulder.
  • Saeran never fulled recovered after that, the pains is still in his heart.
  • It’s too early to talk about trying again or adopting a child.
  • He knows that you’re in pain too, but he’s so torn.
  • Every night he listens to the clock ticking, he can’t sleep.
  • All those memories and plans you two had about that child…
  • Sometimes he can’t take it and have breakdowns, you let him cry on your shoulder…He doesn’t want to seem selfish for being the one who is suffering because of this…But he can’t help it.
  • In his heart now has a hole…
  • A big hole…
  • Deep inside, he wants to join your child.
  • People have said to him that the world is beautiful…But he never got a chance to see this beautiful world.
  • But in his world…It’s always raining.
  • He’s ready to go to the paradise.

How did you get back to the RUINS from here…?

… wait, I know.

She must have taken you when she left.

And decided to give you a proper burial rather than…

Hanging out in the basement forever.

Bugs - Part 3

Word Count: 3491 - I got carried away

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Warnings: Language, bugs, anaphylaxis 

A/N: Ok guys…this was hard to write. I couldn’t figure out exactly where I wanted to go with it so I asked for advice from @blacktithe7 and ended up combining both ideas. I need feedback on this one! 

Tagging: @blacktithe7 @letsgetoutalive @aprofoundbondwithdean @spnfanficpond @pb-5minutefanfiction @desiringspnimagines

Series Rewrite Masterlist

“So…you three are students?” The professor asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Yeah…we’re in your uh…Anthro 101 class.” Sam lied. 

“Oh, right.” The professor said. 

“So what about the bones, professor?” you questioned. 

“It’s quite an interesting find you three made. I’d say they’re 170 years old, give or take. The timeframe and geology suggest Native American.” 

“Were there any tribes or reservations on that land?” Dean asked. 

“Not according to historical record. But the…relocation…of native peoples was quite common at that time.” The professor explained. 

“What about local legends or oral histories about the area?” Sam asked. 

“There’s a Euchee tribe in Sulpulpa. It’s about 60 miles from here. Someone out there might know.” 

“Alright.” Dean said. 

“Thank you, professor.” You said, grabbing the box and heading out.

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Alien 3 was good tho...

I’m writing this ostensibly because every time the Alien series of movies is brought up online, there is this crazy stinkface thrown at the mere mention of Alien 3–as if it is this great shame of a movie. An embarrassment both to the Alien franchise, and film in general.  I believe both of those points are completely off base, and actually view Alien 3 as the closest movie in the series to the brilliance of the first film.  

Alien 3 tells the story of Ripley crash landing on a techno-ludite prison-monestary of men; bringing with her a xenomorph which she and the inmates band together to try and survive.

In terms of sheer aesthetic, Alien 3 is this wasteland bridge between the rigid dark metallics of 80s sci-fi, and the dirty fire kissed worlds of 90s Sci-fi.  It contains in it those rich deep blacks that we had back in Alien, but it’s updated through Fincher’s palettes of sweaty green, and blue walls.  The opening scene where Charles Dance’s Clemons walks through the galactic twilight of the industrial waste shores of Fury 161 may in fact be the last great image of American science fiction films in the 20th century.  It is the climax of the images conjured up from Rutger Hauer’s tears in the rain speech in Blade Runner.  Dance’s flapping trench cloak turtled up on him conjures simultaneously the inquisitors from Dreyer’s Joan of Arc, and Decker’s trench from Blade Runner.

  We see Sigourney Weaver’s maggot infested oil covered corpse wash up on the shore.  Her skin mirroring the xenomorph she has become linked with.  Abjectly covered in fluids, viscous, and death–she is horrifying, replicating the horror she represents for this colony of male convict monks who haven’t seen a woman for decades.  In this way, she mirrors the way that Joan of Arc’s gender challenged the monks in Dreyer’s film.  And in fact she ends up shaving her head to drive home that fact.

This is a movie of sweat and tetanus. It presages similar themes that would arise in Fincher’s work with Fight Club and Se7en, but with the complication of having to reconcile that it’s point of view at the end of the day is it’s heroine.

The acting in Alien 3 is really incredible, from the simmering menace of Charles Dance’s creepy intense Doctor Clemons, to Charles Dutton’s strong willed Dillon, to Weaver’s own performance as Ripley.  Even minor characters like Brian Glover’s Prison Warden find a way to give dimenson to characters that could have easily been cardboard stereotypes.  I think Glover’s performance is interesting because that character could have easily just been a straight forward Boss Hogg kind of character–but he complicates it with unstable concern for the threat that Ripley represents to his prison, and to him personally–I think he’s inaccurately labeled as purely career motivated midway through the film, when Ripley and Clemons get him to agree to the autopsy of Newt by asking him how an outbreak of cholera would look on his resume.  And while it’s true given what we know, that he’s seen as the obstruction to Ripley doing what needs to be done–what he really is, is a simple man, trying his best to keep the piece of shit that he’s been thrust into together.  He needs to be authoritative.  In some ways, Andrews is positioned as the mother of the prison, to Dillon’s father figure.  And in some ways, the tension between him and Weaver could be read as a battle between their twin motherhoods–and Andrews jealousy at being replaced as the center of this world’s affection.

This begins to get into the areas where Alien 3 gets a lot of its criticism.  Because since the aesthetic of the film, and the performances of the film are unassailable–a lot of problems people have with the film is how it fits within the first two Alien films.  Particularly, the decision to begin the film with the off screen deaths of Newt, and Hicks.  I think if you watch the film without worrying about it’s connection to the previous films, none of this is hugely important.  The movie starts with a woman who has crash landed–her friends, including a young child are dead, she suspects this alien creature is the cause–and the movie goes. 

But from my many discussions advocating for this film, one of the threads that usually people lead off with is that this film undoes the happy ending of Aliens–and wrecks what they see as the natural arc for Ellen Ripley–which is the restoration of her role as a mother–with Newt replacing Ripley’s Daughter Amanda, and bringing closure to the trauma caused to her in the first film.

But this is a fantasy.  The story of Ellen Ripley isn’t a mother who loses her child, and then has the child restored to her.  Ellen Ripley is the story of the cycles of death and creation.  By the very nature of herself and the xenomorph doppelganger that forever lives in her shadow–she is doomed to constantly repeat these cycles of life, death, rebirth.

It is no mistake that Fincher’s film is the one that delves most into the heroic cycles and mythologies that these films have necessarily, by their need to be told and retold, engender.  Ellen is positioned as Eve arriving in the garden to bring the end of paradise, she is also the holy mother who offers redemption for these men that wait on the edge of space for god to return, and finally she is the woman of revelation on the run in the desert from the antichrist, the woman often confused with the Whore of Babylon, whose avatar is the end of everything, and the ushering in of the new, that is beyond our understanding.

Because of this, it isn’t Aliens which closes the loop of the Alien films, it is Alien 3 which does so, once Ripley accepts her role as the holy space mother of death, offering benediction and forgiveness with one hand, and upheaval and apocalypse with the other–mirroring again, Joan of Arc, and Dreyer’s final scene where Joan accepts the flames, as the world falls into hell around her.

The thematic density of Alien 3 is the only film in the quadrilogy which even attempts to go toe to toe with Alien on that front.

It’s also much farther advanced than Aliens in terms of the politics of its heroes.  One of the great things about Alien was that at the end of the day, the heroes were two women and a black man.  And Alien 3 repeats that with Dutton surviving to the end, and being instrumental in Ripley’s final salvation.  And while there is complications there that in both films the black man is seen as an instrument to the white woman’s ascension it is still much farther along than most blockbuster science fiction has dared.

On the whole, one of the best things about Alien 3 though is its dogged pursuit of the void.  It is a bleak bleak movie that starts off killing a child, and throughout refuses to reward sentimentality.  As Dillon says in a prayer that both sends Newt and Hicks to the fire, and ushers in the birth of the new Xenomorph: “Why the sacrifice, why the pain?  Some get called, some get saved”–there is no heroic morality here, only life and death, and as he says, within death is creation.  The best example of this element to the film is the romantic tension between Dance and Ripley.  Just as he is opening up to her, in a moment that is structurally set up as the scene where the two of them finally let down their defenses, and maybe find love here at the edge of space–he is brutally killed right in front of Ripley.  This is the dark horror of the series returned nihilistic and mean–after the Space Marine, white hats, black hats of Aliens.

If Aliens was a story about a lonely cat lady finding her space family and riding off into the sunset–Alien 3 is the holy death mother space fuck into oblivion.

Alien 3 is not only a thematically worthy entry into the quadrology.  It is a superb testament of aesthetics and performance, and despite Fincher’s disavowal of the film, a critical film for understanding his work of this era.

When you look across the landscape of major science-fiction films of the 90s(Matrix, Armageddon, Fifth Element, Jurassic Park, T:2) you would have to say it places very highly within it’s era; and when you think about films that try to depict religious space colony industrial horror–there’s not much else like it out there.  Where Aliens has hundreds of films that drove it’s space marine concept into the ground–Alien 3’s Space Prison Horror remains, probably because of it’s osterization, quite out on it’s own.  It’s most significant successor is probably the Riddick films I’d guess.

At any rate.  This all came about because I read that the director for the newest Alien film that they are making, the director of such powerhouse films as District 9 and Elysium, had the gaul to treat this film as some kind of red headed stepchild that he would avoid, because…obviously.  But watching his films, which are largely oriented around different ways to show different kinds of robot guns, he really could have used a few more viewings of Alien 3.  The notion that that guy is going to make a film that is superior to young hungry David Fincher is amazing.  The off-handed dismissal of Alien 3 just makes him sound stupid.  Alien 3 is by no means a perfect film.  It’s script while thematically dense, is a little bit of a mess–in that way it is similar to Scott’s Prometheus, which is another film that has been unfairly castigated by fan culture. Alien 3 is an extremely literate film, and in its flaws a lot of the unfettered genius of the people working on the film is actually able to shine through.

It’s this gross aspect of the stupidity of fan culture, which cares more about what happens with it’s name brands(in this case Newt) than actual art.  It’s that shit that makes people hate Michael Bay Transformers movies because the robots don’t look like the cartoons–meanwhile they are trying to get Marvel movies without 1/10th of the talent of Bay’s worst films, nominated for awards.  And while I think Alien 3 is very much entrenched in the themes that Ripley and the Xenomorph represent–I think it is also marred by that.  It obscures the ability of people to see it with fresh eyes.

Well, there’s a 2003 workprint special edition that adds 30 minutes to the film.  Maybe as with Blade Runner overtime, it’s time to revisit Alien 3 and re-examine its merit as art.

I’ll tell you this, it will be a miracle if District 9 dude can come even close to Alien 3.  Nice drawings though.

anonymous asked:

Rfa cuties reacting to mc DYING MWHAHAHAHA~🌟✨

My thoughts: “I have time for some headcanons or smth, let’s see what’s here..” *sees this* “well fuck”.

Anyway enjoy sadness I think is sad i don’t really know (ur so evil, btw this continues Yoosung’s and Jumin’s from the RFA as parents headcanons)

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Since we just met a Sidney in last week’s episode, I thought I’d discuss the other Sid on the show a little bit.

I’ve written before about how Dean and Lisa’s relationship was never meant to come across as ‘greeting card perfect’ from the point of view of the end of season five, but upon rewatch it became obvious that they also made it pretty clear at the start of season six.

The episode Exile on Main St. (named after a Rolling Stones album with some familiar titles like ‘Torn and Frayed’ and ‘Soul Survivor’) begins with a shot of Dean Winchester in some kind of internal pain, awake before his alarm clock goes off. He’s not a happy camper. He seems hollowed out.

Between this scene and him screaming the words “Good for who?” to Bobby after the latter told him that it was better for him to be out of the life with a woman and child and not be dead before the age of thirty, we start to realize that Dean is far from alright. 

Bobby Singer did not know what Chuck had told us at the end of Swan Song: that every fiber in Dean’s body either wanted to die, or to join Sam in the Cage. These are two different things, wanting to die and wanting to join Sam in the Cage. Dean explicitly tells Bobby that he went to Lisa and Ben because Sam asked him to. It was not what he wanted. What Dean Winchester wanted, was to die.

But between these scenes, we see something interesting. We see Dean’s routine in Suburbia: breakfast for Ben, packing and driving for work, working construction, beers with his neighbour Sid while ignoring the woman he’s shacked up with, teaching Ben how to fix a car, checking the house and locking up at night, drinking whiskey, and glancing out of the window to Sid’s house to Sid having wine with his wife and turning away as though the scene causes him pain.

Why does the scene of his neighbour with his wife cause Dean Winchester pain?

If the quaint suburban scene was something that Dean desired, all he had to do was grab a couple of wine glasses and find his woman upstairs. It’s not the scene that caused him pain.

He had a crush on Sid’s wife, then? Sid’s wife is nothing to him, we barely see her. Sid’s wife isn’t important.

What it is that causes Dean Winchester pain as he glances out of his window to his neighbour’s house – and we are lead to believe that it is every night he does this – is Sid himself.

So, we come to a scene of Dean and Sid sitting in a bar. This is an important scene, it follows directly after the cold open. They do this often. Dean has been living in the neighbourhood for a year. Sid tells Dean that he has been buying him beers for a year. It’s normal if you buy a guy a round now and again and he returns the favour, even steven. But that’s not what Sid says. Sid has been buying Dean beers for a year.

Let that sink the fuck in.

Intense eye contact, licking of the lips, just another day in the life of Dean Winchester.

Dean also does not look at any of the sexy, scantily clad waitresses in the bar. He’s there for Sid. He’s there for Sid with the very blue eyes who also has some kind of past that makes him not fit in to suburbia. He affirms Dean. He thinks Dean is the bee’s knees. He’s willing to sit down and have a drink with Dean Winchester, and from what we can tell, does it often.

We see the El Sol sign behind Sid. The sign we saw behind Gary the teenage witch headed to MIT in Swap Meat who was fulfilling a role similar to Sid’s. A role similar to Nick the Siren in Sex & Violence. The sign that has been attached to his sun, Ash-shams, in every one of its appearances for the past four seasons. It might just be co-incidence, though.

But do you remember how in the end of Swan Song, Castiel asked Dean whether it was peace or freedom that he was looking for? Well, next we see Sid wearing a winged Nirvana shirt. It’s there not only to tell us that Sid – like Gary and Nick – has a similar taste in music to Dean, but that nirvana – peace – is something that Dean desires.

Dean himself has but one wing.

While Dean was with Lisa, there was a side to him that was pulling him across the street to Sid. No, I don’t think he ever tapped that. He was pretty adamant about playing the part of 'being taken’ as he shredded the phone number given to him by a Djinn at the bar (but note also that he made sure his friend knew that he was faithful, not that his lady friend knew). But we see him look out of the window to Sid’s living room wistfully, and it becomes obvious that he desired something from Sid. Also brotherhood. Also friendship. Because Sid also looks like Sam and Castiel.

But that was not the only thing he wanted. He wanted companionship.

The Djinns were there to get revenge on Dean Winchester specifically. They wanted to hurt him personally. Dean got Lisa and Ben out of harm’s way by sending them to Bobby. But instead of coming at Dean and Sam, the Djinns decided to visit the neighbours and kill Sid and his wife instead.

Sure, the Djinn saw Dean with Sid in the bar, but why would they think killing Sid would hurt Dean like killing Lisa and Ben would have hurt Dean?

Regardless, as soon as Dean sees the Djinns attack Sid, he throws all caution into the wind and rushes in to try and save him. Alas, too late. Sid is killed. Bye, Sid. We hardly knew ye.

I do feel obliged to point out that Dean rushing to the body of Sid has a parallel in a little episode called I’m No Angel. You know, the one where he sees April stab Castiel. So we can conclude that Castiel is like a neighbour to him. Or we can conclude something else.

Note also that it is Azazel, the Yellow Eyed Demon, that the Djinn poison makes Dean hallucinate. Not Lucifer who killed Sam a year previously. The Yellow Eyed Demon, who in his hallucination gets Ben-(Sam) addicted to Demon blood and burns Lisa-(???) in the ceiling, surrounded by stars. That is the horror that Dean’s mind conjures up. That had been the most painful moment in his life, hell and high water.

In the episode, Lisa tells Dean that in spite of their difficulties, the time they had spent together had been the best year of her life. I always felt the negative space in Dean’s lack of answer to this, but thought 'But it was the worst year of mine’ would have been too cruel.

But as we remember that every fiber in Dean Winchester’s body wanted to die, or to join Sam in the Cage, the year he spent in Suburbia reveals itself as exquisite torture. Especially with Sid there across the road, in sight but out of reach.

hands coated in red dye, beet juice, blood, american stripes. hands coated in dead stars, dead dreams, dead man woman child. hands coated in guilt, abrasion, evasion, invasion. hands coated in western thought, in infertile soil, in lost opportunity, in lost time, in lost people. hands coated in abuse, in harassment, in violence, in dismemberment. hands coated in cancer, in bias, in misjudgement, in displacement, in disadvantage, in discrimination, in incrimination, in intimidation, in miseducation, in reconciliation. hands coated in names, in placards, in protest, in awareness, in movement, in revolt, in union, in images of fists in the air. hands coated in disruption, in corruption, in correction, in insurrection. hands coated in justice, in too often a lack thereof, in ignorance, in shame, in black, in white.

hands coated in red die. beat juice. blood.
stars and stripes.

—  nav k, “administrative leave”
  • Wailing Woman Cradling A Dead Child In Her Arms: My child is dead! Why did this happen! WHY? WHHHHYYYYYY?
  • Police Officer At The Scene: Why is a difficult question. Famed scientist Lawrence Krauss has said that the question of why the universe came into being is irrelevant because there is no why, there is only how. And when you think about it, all whys are really the same why.
  • If everything is determined by cause and effect, then every why can be traced back along a causal chain to the beginning of the universe.
  • Why does a man run over an 80-year-old woman with his truck while she stands on the sidewalk waiting for the cross walk? Because he was drunk. Why? Because he's an alcoholic. Why? Because of a genetic predisposition to alcohol, coupled with crippling depression and PTSD from seeing his father kill himself when he was 10 years old. Why?
  • You can keep asking why. You can go down different avenues of why. You can consider multiple whys and weigh them against each other. You can find whys that seem to go in circles or lead down a billion different paths. But every why eventually comes back to "why does the universe exist." And according to Lawrence Krauss, at least, there is no why there. So, by my reckoning, there is no why anywhere. You shouldn't even ask why. It's a gibberish question that represents a meaningless concept. You should only ask how.
  • Wailing Woman Cradling A Dead Child In Her Arms: How did my child die?
  • Police Officer At The Scene: She was trampled by an escaped circus elephant.
Yoshimi Itazu’s Commentary on the Creation of End Card 11


#11 “Hibiya Park”

Gamou and Miyoshi

At first, I was only going to draw Miysohi, but the Director gave me some advice, “Why don’t you draw people sitting back to back on the bench.” and so I drew it out.

Since their backs would be facing each other, I thought it would be better if the other person was only distantly related.

For those who’ve been watching this show, you probably expect something each week, so I decided to draw Gamou, someone entirely unexpected.

Keep reading

A Man With a Heart of Gold

Imagine falling into a frozen river during a hunt and Dean has to save you from hypothermia.

This is a reader request! Hope you like it. I’m especially happy with the backstory. Yuki-onna is a vengeful Japanese spirit, look it up (; Warnings: language, a violent spirit, non-descript nudity.

I rubbed my hands on my jeans over and over, trying to create some heat for my aching fingers.

“Y/N, that noise is driving me crazy. Knock it off.” Dean glared in the direction of my lap and turned the music up louder. Even though we sat in the Impala I could still see my breath.

“Well maybe if you fixed the damn heating before this hunt I wouldn’t be so cold.” I rummaged around in the back seat for any more winter wear. “As soon as Sam comes back we are going to go buy some snow gear. Wouldn’t you be disappointed if we went out in a snowstorm instead of a fiery battle or a gun fight?” Dean just rolled his eyes. We had only been in Maine for a day and it felt like years. Sam was inside a truck stop asking for directions. “Locals getting lost in the woods and dying from exposure? Doesn’t sound like our kind of problem.” I pulled up my feet underneath me to curl into a ball but Dean slapped my leg.

“No shoes on the upholstery.” I reluctantly complied. Suddenly my door flung open and Sam pushed inside, shoving me into the middle.

“Hey!” I yelped, sliding into the backseat.

“S-sorry, so c-cold.” Sam wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. “I got directions, let’s just go.”

Once we got to our motel I wasted no time running inside to turn the heat up. “What, someone’s a little chilly?” Dean leaned on the doorframe and chuckled at my antics. I stuck out my tongue and threw myself under the covers. “Shut up, not everyone is a living space heater.” Sam came in behind us, a stack of papers and files in his arms.

“Leave her be Dean, she’s little. Probably gets cold easier.” He smiled in my direction and Dean just rolled his eyes. “Honestly how are you even a hunter?” I could tell he was joking this time but that didn’t stop me from throwing a pillow in his direction. 
A few hours later Sam and I were still researching, me from my warm pile of blankets. “Where’d that jerk go?” Sam shrugged. When he got into his research it was an act of God to get him out.

“I think it’s a Yuki-onna.” He mumbled, brow furrowed as he read. I closed my book and prepared myself for the coming explanation. “It’s a type of vengeful spirit. They lure their victims into the snow and get satisfaction from watching them die slowly.” I raised my eyebrows, about to make a sarcastic comment when he continued. “They often appear as a woman holding a child… That would explain our dead persons profile. The victims were mostly adult men who had families and jobs in a public service field. Two firefighters, one paramedic, a doctor. It’s choosing people who instinctively save others.”
Before Sam could explain further the door flew open and Dean came in, stomping his boots loudly on the floor. His hair was dotted with snow and he held a plastic bag in his arms. Sam wasted no time catching Dean up on our discovery, but Dean seemed distracted. He walking in my direction and ripped open the bag over my lap. Multiple pairs of hats, mittens, and scarves tumbled out. I wasn’t sure if it was the cold burning his cheeks or a bit of a blush when I looked up at him amazed.

“Don’t mention it, just share them, okay?.”

The next day we found ourselves hiking in the woods near where one of the bodies had been found. Snow gently fell around us, and if it wasn’t the scene of a homicide it would be a perfect postcard moment.

“Sam, you sure we should just be romping around out here? We’re not gonna get jumped by this yuckiowna thing?” Sam laughed, shaking the melting snow from his hair.

“No it won’t go for us. It looks for a family man with a heart of gold, and last time I checked all of us are single and one’s not even a man.” I struggled to keep up with Sam’s long strides but fell behind and ended up next to Dean. He had been acting strange the whole day.

“Are you cold?” He peered at me through snow dotted lashes. I held up my mitten covered hands and smiled.

“Not so bad, thanks by the way.” He grumbled a response and tucked his head down again. As we marched along Sam called to us from several dozen feet ahead.

“There’s a frozen river here, we can cross. Come on!” I shuddered at the creaking sounds the ice made but Dean reassured me that was normal. “I went ice fishing with Bobby once.” I took his word for truth and followed close behind. Once we were just past halfway Dean stopped walking and I ran clumsily into his back.

“Hey, watch it.” I brushed myself off, “It’s like hitting a brick w-” I was startled by Dean’s expression. He stared off to our left, his eyes wide. They seemed to be in a trance, yet still very aware of their surroundings. “Dean?” I reached for his arm but he suddenly broke into a run.

“Lisa, Ben! I’m coming!” I stood dumbfounded as he raced like a madman, his voice cracking with anxiety. At this point Sam turned around, his face grave.

“Y/N, get off the ice! Now!” In the madness I felt immobile. Then a noise that made my cold body begin to sweat rang out. Crack. I felt my feet wobble and I was overwhelmed by the sound of the earth beneath me splitting. I ran as fast as I could towards the shore. Popping, rumbling noises seemed to chase my heels. It was then I thought of Dean, alone and hallucinating in the middle of the ice. I turned back without hesitation and raced towards him.

“Dean, come on!” He looked frantically from me to whatever his imagination presented in front of him. “Dean! Listen to me, whatever you see isn’t real! It’s the Yuki-onna! I’m real! You have to hurry!” I reached out my arm towards him. A pained expression gripped him as he glanced at his revere one more time before joining me in the sprint for the shore. By this time entire floats of ice were separating.

“Guys, hurry!” Sam screamed. Then, like time froze for a moment, I felt myself falling. The world around me slowed to a crawl as I went further downward, cold hitting my feet as my eyes became ground level. And just like that, I was gone. The icy shock made me gasp water into my lungs and my arms and legs felt paralyzed. My peripheral vision darkened. I’m going to die like this, I thought. I began to consider all the things I’d never get to say and the people I’d never get to embrace. The water didn’t seem quite so cold and I lost my will to fight. Just as my world was about to fade to black a strong hand grabbed my color and yanked me upwards into the frigid air. A flash of bright light blinded me.

“Y/N! Y/N, can you hear me?” My ears buzzed and I sputtered and coughed, my teeth chattering uncontrollably. Arms reached under me and lifted me like I was weightless. As my sight came back the first thing I saw was Dean’s face. He was running with me to solid ground. “Sam! Go get help! I have to try and get her warm right now! NOW SAM!” He looked down at me, terrified. “It’s gonna be okay, stay with me Y/N. You stay with me, Dammit.” I remember wondering if he really believed that. I flittered in and out of consciousness, sometimes blissfully unaware that I was even dying. Suddenly hands grabbed my face. “Look at me! Focus on me!” I felt like I had cotton in my ears and clouds in my eyes but I fought to see Dean’s lips moving. “I have to take your clothes off, I have to get you warm.” Dean bear hugged me and rubbed my back and arms to no avail. I couldn’t even feel the warmth of his hands on my skin. He then ripped open his backpack and procured a small sleeping bag. Turning to me, he patted my cheeks.

“Whatever you do don’t sleep, okay? Don’t sleep.” He began to strip the soaked clothes off of my convulsing body, while still pulling me against his own. He madly muttered apologies and encouragements in my ear. Soon my clothes were off and he practically picked me up off my feet to slide me into the sleeping bag. Then, to my shock he began to take off his own clothes. I tried to tell him to save himself but the words came out as meaningless jargon. “Shh, don’t bother pretending you don’t want it.” He gave a teasing smile as he stuffed his shirt into the sleeping bag with me. How he managed to joke at a time like this, I would never understand. As his pants came off I imagined even my ice cold cheeks were growing red.

“Don’t give me that look, you’re the one who said I’m a human space heater.” I struggled to give him a half hearted smile. Once he had stripped he laid me down and unzipped the sleeping bag to climb in. His body heat immediately brought some feeling to my skin. I shivered against him, lying my face on his bare chest. I had wondered what this would feel like, but I never thought it would be like this. For a while I could do nothing but shudder as he held me. I was so content listening to his loving murmurings and smelling his scent, that it crossed my mind that I might have died already. Soon I could feel the roughness of his hands circling on my back and stop chattering enough to speak.

“You- you saved my life. Thank you.” I felt him shake his head and squeeze me tighter, if that’s possible.

“No. You saved mine. You shouldn’t have come back for me.” I was confused so I pushed his chest away with my palm to look into his face. His eyes were red and he clenched his jaw in and out. He looked at me like someone looks at a limping puppy or a flightless bird. “I did this to you. This is my fault…” He cursed and bit his lip, tucking my head back under his chin. “I should have known it would come after me, I should have told Sam.” It all began to come together in my thawing mind.

“The Yuki-onna… It affected you because of Lisa and Ben didn’t it? You’re technically a family man.” As I spoke the words it became clear why Dean had raced off towards an invisible family in peril. “It picks men who love their families.” I flattened my hand over his heart protectively. “Men with a heart of gold.”

I really like the original idea for Spiderman’s villain, Venom

Originally, Spiderman would have discovered that his black suit is an alien symbiot which would permanently bond with his body, and that this symbiot is pregnant, and about to spawn another symbiot, to be forcefully bond with Spidey’s girlfriend, Mary Jane.

So Spiderman takes initiative and tries to kill the symbiot, doing it using a loud noise. The symbiot suit is forcefully removed from Peter. The symbiot’s spawn is killed by the noise, but the symbiot itself survives barely and slithers away.

Some time before that, Spiderman was fighting a villain above the streets of New York, which distracts a Taxi driver who crashes into the Taxi in front of him. Inside that taxi was a couple, and the wife was going into labor. The driver, husband, and unborn child die, but the woman survives, and resents Spiderman, blaming him for this.

The weakened symbiot finds that woman, and identifies with her sorrow over her dead unborn child and husband, and her hate towards Spiderman, and she willingly fuses with the symbiot, creating Spiderman’s strongest foe yet.