i try to stay positive through whatever. i try to live up to people’s standards whenever i can. i smile whenever it’s appropriate too, even though i’m only pretending to. i always try to do the “right” thing.. even though many times it really felt like the wrong thing. i try to show up for people. i attempt to show up, and look good, for the person people believe me to be. this person who, i believe, is sacred and supreme. god, isn’t she celestial? isn’t she lovely? i believe they think i’m someone who they wanna be a little something alike. and i think to myself.. “they don’t want this fight.” this mind game. this psyche. looking at shit different these days, like— i might be paying karma it’s last dues.. but i feel like i got too much more to do. i can hear death singing her song in my ear, and boy do her blues sound pretty. like— she really put the time in. she really got me feeling some kind of way. like— could somewhere else be a better place? i get bored too often here. i wanna jump off from here. wanna feel the breeze and see the beauty as i’m falling. then i wanna panic until the parachute rises to catch me. i wanna trust for once. wouldn’t that be the right thing to do? to have faith in something even if there is no landing safely? can’t say i truly even care if i’ll land safely. more concerned if i’ll land alone. see, that’s my issue. needing to be in control. needing to narrate a love story because i was taught that’s all that will ever matter. love. even when, throughout my life, i can’t say that’s what mattered most.
In celebration of Halloween, I’ve compiled a list of horror films from several different sub-genres along with links to their respective IMDB pages. Please note that the films listed below may contain scenes that some find triggering, disturbing, or upsetting; if you have any concerns over a film’s content, I highly encourage you to research it prior to watching in order to make as informed a choice as possible.
HORROR: films that inspire fear and tension by creating an unsettling
The upshot of my lesbian identity is that I fall in love with female people-and want to.I don’t see it as a “lifestyle”-such a temporary sounding-term. It brings to mind this season’s fall fashions or a layout of home decoration…My lesbianism is more the ground zero of an emotional compass, ever searching out women. This orientation of my heart is not going to change because I don’t want it to. I’ve never been tormented by my lesbianness. In fact, it’s a favorite part of me, as Goddess given as being Black. What I have been tormented by is people’s homophobia-their deliberate ignorance concerning my affectional orientation, their active offenses against me because of my sexuality. I am not the problem here.
Donna Allegra, as quoted by Patricia Hill Collins in Black Sexual Politics