woman in tub

Day One Hundred and Ten

-On my way into the store, I found a motorized cart abandoned on the curb. My throne awaited me, and I am never one to pass on a stylish entrance. Not a single person noticed me, but my mood skyrocketed in preparation for my shift.

-A man clad entirely in black, arms wrapped in smoky tattoos of the Grim Reaper and other equally sordid icons, came through my lane. In a low growl, he asked me if we sold ouija boards. I replied that I did not know. He told me that he was with the Disciples of the Ram. As I handed him his receipt and change, he hissed loudly and threw his arms up, intending to strike fear into the hearts of onlookers, not intending to launch his change across the floor.

-A woman purchased six tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter World ice cream, clearly preparing to make my life’s dream a reality.

-I found at the top of my till a five dollar bill with the name Brandon and a phone number scrawled across ol’ Babraham’s face. Unfortunately, I had not been paying enough attention to know whether Brandon himself had attempted to slide me his number, or whether an unwilling recipient was trying to rid themselves of evidence of the encounter. Nonetheless, I copied down the number for when next a nefarious mood strikes.

-A woman in her forties cackled maniacally as she purchased a book with a flatulence soundboard, proclaiming over and over the wonders of a book about farts that actually farts at you. I have finally found her. She is the target audience my lifetime of comedy has been meant for.

-A three year-old pointed at the six year-old in the cart behind them and asked, “Baby?” The mother explained to their child that, no, that was not a baby, and she was in fact older than them. While the mother remained entirely oblivious to the reality of the situation, I did not. That child was fully aware that the girl was not a baby. Their pickup game is simply well beyond their years.

-A young girl asked me for a bandaid. I had none, so I instead offered her a strip of stickers. This seemed to do the trick, as she began counting them off and giggling in joy, giving each the smallest of kisses. A young boy pulls up in a cart behind her. The girl stands up, extends the strip of stickers, announces, “I have all the stickers! Look at them! I got all of them!” and sits back down, proud of her work. After a brief look from her mother, she peeled one off and handed it to the boy. Too emotional for words, the toddler accepted the sticker, silently committing to this contract of eternal friendship.

Grocery Store

Just another normal day at the grocery store.

“Free sample?” asked the man holding a tray of cheeses.

“Wow,” said the woman. “Sure!” She grabbed a cheese with a toothpick and ate it.

“What the fuck!? You were supposed to sample the toothpicks! Those CHEESES weren’t free! “ The man threw the tray on the ground to display his anger. It worked. Everyone around saw it and thought “Damn, that guy’s angry.”

“I’m sorry,” said the woman. “I didn’t know! This is a grocery store so I figured the cheese was the free sample.”

“You know what happens when you FIGURE. You make a fig out of u and re!” The crowd that had gathered around the two agreed that was what happened when you figure. “Lady, you have to pay for these ruined cheeses and toothpicks!”

“What?!” The lady looked around like “Isn’t this crazy?” but the crowd just looked at her like “This ain’t crazy.” “I will not! The toothpicks aren’t even ruined. They’re still intact! All of this is insane. I just came here to buy a tub of pretzels.”

“Did you just call me a TUB OF PRETZELS?!” The man was livid. “I may be fat as fuck, but I’m not a tub of pretzels!” The man was fat, but not fat as fuck. Fat as hell, yes, but not as fuck.

The lady had had enough and tried to leave, but the grocery store manager stepped in before she could.

“What’s going on here?” asked the manager.

“This lady ruined a bunch of cheese and the toothpick samples!” The sample man had tears welling up in his eyes. Big, fat as hell tears.

“I can explain,” began the lady, but the manager butted in.

“No need to explain,” the manager said. She was very tall and that’s why she was the manager. “You’re free to go. Please, take any one item you’d like from the store as an apology for my employee’s actions.”

“Wow! Thanks! I’ll take a tub of pretzels.” The woman left to get her tub of pretzels.

“Why’d you let her off so easy?” asked the sample man.

The manager smirked. “Easy? The manufacturer just recalled all tubs of pretzels for containing anthrax. I was about to take them all off the shelves, but I think I’ll wait until Ms. Toothpick Ruiner gets hers first. Mwahahahahahaha!”

The sample man laughed with his manager. The crowd that was still standing around looked at each other like “Time to put back this tub of pretzels I have in my shopping cart,” except for one guy who was like “Free anthrax? Don’t mine if I do!”

Just another normal day at the grocery store.

Un giorno ci incroceremo in un caffè o in metropolitana. Cercheremo di non riconoscerci o di fingere di non vederci, ci gireremo svelti dall’altra parte. Saremo imbarazzati per ciò che è diventato il nostro “noi”, per quello che ne è rimasto. Niente. Due estranei uniti da un passato immaginario.”


*** I kinda got on a roll with this one. Oops. 😉*** “Shit.” You cursed as searched through your purse looking for your phone as it rang. Trying to keep your eyes on the road, you flipped your purse upside down and dumped the contents into the passenger seat. Finally finding your phone, you answered it quickly. “Hey baby.” “Hey. You almost here?” “Yeah. I got about 5 minutes to go.” “Ok. Gemma won’t shut up. Keeps asking me when you’re gonna be here. She doesn’t want to start dinner without you.” You smiled and came up to an intersection. The light was green and you kept talking “I’m close, I promise. Tell-” your sentence was cut short by a gasp as you saw bright headlights coming straight at your passenger side door.

You didn’t have anytime to react. The truck slammed into your car, the force sending your head smashing into the driver’s side window, knocking you unconscious instantly and your phone flying out of your hand. Your car overturned and rolled another 3 times before coming to a stop.

Happy was leaning against the wall in Gemma’s hallway talking to you when he heard you gasp, a loud crash and the sickening sounds of crunching metal coming through the phone until everything went quiet except for the sound of a horn continuously blowing. “Babe? Baby! Can you hear me? What happened!?” The sound of Happy’s frantic voice brought everyone rushing into the hallway to him. “What’s wrong?” “I don’t know, she was telling me that she was almost here and then all I could here was metal.” “Did she say how far she was?” “About 5 minutes.” Jax nodded, all the guys rushing out of the house and to their bikes, praying that you were ok.


“What do you mean you put her in a fucking coma?!” Jax grabbed Happy around the waist as he lunged at the male Doctor. “Sir, we had no choice. She had a subdural hematoma. We needed to inhibit her cranial functions so that we can prevent any cerebral edema that may-” “English!” “Her brain is bleeding. She slammed her head into the window causing a severe brain injury. We needed to put her into a coma to reduce her brain activity, give her brain time to heal itself. If not, the brain swells and that’s usually fatal. We did it to save her life.”

Happy was shaking from anger. He might not be a doctor or be educated but he knew that when people were put into a coma, sometimes they didn’t come out of it. “She better wake up! You hear me?! If she doesn’t I swear-” It took both Jax and Opie to grab Happy and pull him away from the doctor and to the waiting room. They released him and saw that he was shaking. They didn’t know if it was from anger or fear or both but it was the first time they’d ever seen him show so much emotion. Jax stood in front of him and when Happy finally looked up, Jax saw tears in his eyes, his face tight as it was obvious he was trying not to cry. Jax felt himself begin to get a little choked up and grabbed Happy bringing him into his chest, sobs leaving Happy’s form.


Your eyes slowly fluttered open but you shut them almost immediately as the bright light above you blinded you. You tried again and became aware of something in your mouth. Coming to, you swallowed on instinct and felt something down your throat as well. Your reflexes kicked in and you reached up to your mouth, trying to grab whatever it was and pull it out but a hand grabbed onto yours and held it down forcefully. You began to gag as your breathing accelerated, not knowing what was happening to you. You struggled against the arms holding you down as you vision cleared up, Jax and a bald man with many tattoos were standing over you and holding you down. “Baby stop! It’s ok, you’re ok!” The mans rough voice scared you and you didn’t understand why Jax was helping him.

Your IV ripped out of your arm from the movement and blood began dripping down your arm as you began to struggle even more, choking on the feeding tube and coughing.  "Fuck, Jax get the nurse!“ Jax ran out of the room and the heavily tattooed man continued trying to soothe you but it wasn’t working. Suddenly Jax came back with 4 women, them coming to you and holding you down as well. One of them held a piece of gauze to your arm as the other one grabbed your head and forced you to keep it still. The other one opened your mouth and began to pull the tube out, the plastic scratching your throat causing you to cry out.

"You’re hurting her!” “Dr. Knowles, please get him out.” “Jax, Ope, get him out. They’re going to call security.” The woman finally got the tub out of your throat and you rolled over onto your tummy, coughing and gagging. “Baby?” The bald man grabbed onto you and rolled you over, grabbing your face but you pushed his arms. “Get away from me! Stop touching me! I don’t want to be here, Jax please, don’t let him hurt me. Make him go.” Tears flooded your eyes as your anxiety went through the roof. You knew you were in a hospital now but you had no idea who this man was or why he kept calling you 'baby' and you didn’t know if maybe he was the one that had put you here in the first place.

Happy pulled away from you quickly, almost as if you had burned him.  Seeing you so scared, especially of him, broke his heart and he pulled back, walking out of the room Jax following after him. As they left Gemma rushed in and over to your side. The woman with the lab coat looked at the nurses. “Give her room. I’ll handle this.” You latched onto Gemma, grasping her arm tightly as she held you to her chest and tried to calm you. “You’re alright baby. It’s ok, you’re ok. I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” The doctor spoke to Gemma, almost as if you weren’t there. “She doesn’t remember Hap. She freaked out, started yelling and pushing him away. This is one of the downsides, she can suffer from memory loss. Usually it goes away after a couple hours or days but-” “Alright Doc. Give us some time. I’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”


"So…he’s my boyfriend?” “He’s a little more than that baby. It’s…complicated. Think of it as your fiancé, you just don’t have a ring.” You looked at her, trying to understand but all this information she was throwing at you, you had a headache. “He won’t hurt you. He loves you very much. I know you were scared but you hurt him, yelling and pushing him away like that.” You nodded. You hadn’t meant to but everything had been too much and he had been so aggressive. “Do I love him?” Gemma smirked and put her hand on your shoulder pushing you back on the bed and pulling up your hospital gown and exposing your hip, a tattoo of a crow and the word ‘Happy’ written in script. Suddenly, you remembered that night when he’d done the tattoo. How proud you were to have it done and how proud he was to do it. You smiled tearfully as your memory came back in a flood.


“Hap, man, you gotta calm down. She needs you ok, she’s just lost right now.” “She doesn’t even know who the fuck I am!” “Now, but she will. Tara said she’ll remember ok, but you need to calm yourself. You’re no use to her like this.” “I’m leaving.” Happy got up and began to walk out of the waiting room but Chibs stood up and blocked the door. “I ain’t letting you leave brother. That girl in there just had her world flipped upside down. In time, she’ll calm down and try to understand what’s happening, but she needs you. Once you comfort her and explain to her who you are, her memory might come back. Nothing good is gonna come out of you taking off though.” Happy was about to argue when Tara walked in. “Hap, she’s asking for you.”


Happy walked into the room to see you sitting in the bed, waiting for him. “Come to me.” He silently walked to the side of your bed and stood there, his heart speeding up as you reached for his hand, pressing it to your lips and leaving endless kisses. He smiled as you leaned over, grabbing his waist and pulling him to you before resting your head against him tummy. “I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I couldn’t remember anything and I was scared but I remember now. I talked to Gemma and she showed me your crow. Everything came rushing back after that.” The feeling of relief that washed over him was indescribable. He looked down at you and pulled your face up gently. "You remember it all?“ "Yes.” “How many smiley faces do I have?” “12.” He smiled for the first time in 4 days. “That’s my girl."