woman baking

What “Kim Possible” taught me about people...

This popular cheerleader…

is not only a straight A student, she’s outgoing, friendly, helpful, and best friends with the most unpopular kid in school. She has skills that most Olympians can only dream of and saves the world on a regular basis. All she asks for is a ride in the future.

She also suffers with social anxiety, gets nervous around her crush, worries about popularity, obsesses over clothing labels, tends to be over competitive and bossy, and overextends herself with activities.


This Jersey Rat Mullet Man…

calls everybody by annoying nicknames, left his job because they wanted him to cut his hair, and breaks into random air guitar solos.

He’s also a genius mechanical engineer. Seriously.


This dowdy looking woman…

Collects stuffed animals, bakes cookies, and is “all about cute and cuddly.”

She’s also a bio-geneticist able to genetically engineer monsters.


This distinguished looking gentleman…

pretty much became a Bond villain because he was bored and had too much money. He views villainy as a hobby and is soft spoken, affable, and polite.

He’s also an X-Games level athlete.


This freckle faced dork…

has been rejected by almost every girl in school. He loses his pants daily, struggles with grades, is an accident prone klutz, is terrified of monkeys, frequently has juvenile interests, and may smell like overripe fruit.


He’s also…


a sidekick…


a culinary whiz…


a performer…


an athlete…


someone who bucks trends…


a superhero…


a super villain… 


the answer to a prophecy…


twice…


a best friend…


a big brother…


a warrior…


the savior of the planet…


and the guy who gets the girl.

Ultimately

There was not much promise
For a country seamstress
Her mother shared lament
With any woman baking bread
She paraded the type of stockings
With the line down the back
You know,
The kind that accost the gaze
Of every male since 1950
Great mystery of the heart
That we should come to be ourselves
The place where rogue
Was a polite way of saying idealistic
A practice in character resilience
Laugh lines
Blonde eyebrows
The summer blues set in too early
“This is where I’m at” and
“This is where you are”
Premature hysterics
Pointed to the road from arms akimbo
Searching her eyes like the breechless sea
To write about her poignant rhythms
The way the sky looked different
From her windowless view
How lovers longed
To lay claim with more than fingers
A chemistry in flux with one amalgam
One conquest
I mostly thought afterwards
About the way the leaves lined up
Personal soldiers
A diaphanous chain unbroken
Her notebooks fraught
Leftover plight and vendetta
So many ends
Too tawdry to finish

Puppy Cuddles // Joe Sugg

Word Count- 1137

Requests-

Then could i request a imagine where jack or joe and his girlfriend the reader go shopping for a puppy?

and

Can i please request a imagine where the Joe and the reader who is his girlfriend go shopping for a dog and at the end joe falls asleep cuddling the puppy?

A/N- im posting twice today bc this got requested twice and i felt inspired. so here ya go :)

~~

You had grown up on the move. Your father’s job prevented your family from settling down. From the day you were born, you hadn’t stayed in a town for more than 5 years.

You and your little brother had grown accustomed to the fast life. You two had grown accustomed to not having many friends. You two had grown used to having all of your memories squished together because you could never remember where or when he had broken his foot. Or where or when you had accidentally crashed the car.

You and Y/b/n were okay with always moving. You were grateful for the experiences you had. The moments you cherished. The photos you took. The long car rides where you would see who could sing the loudest or who could stay quiet the longest. He always won.

But there was one thing that you absolutely hated about always being on the move.

You never had a pet.

No fish, no rabbits, no hamsters, no birds, and no dogs.

You had always dreamed of buying a dog. Ever since you met Frankie.

Frankie was your, one of many, neighbor’s dog. She was a 3 year old Bolognese. For the 4 months you lived in Arizona, you offered to walk her every morning. Her owner, Kelly, was an older woman who loved to bake cookies.

So every morning, after you were done walking Frankie, you would sit and eat cookies with Kelly and talk about anything and everything. It had become your guys’ tradition.

You cried for 2 weeks when you moved. That was by far the hardest transition ever.

~~

So here you were. Seven years later. Your parents finally settled down in South Africa almost 2 years ago. That’s how you met Caspar. Who then led you to Joe.

Joe was absolutely perfect. He was everything you ever imagined and more. He was your soul mate. And you were his.

You had been together for nearly a year now. And he asked you to move in last week.

~~

“Alright, I think that’s the last of it,” you dropped onto the couch next to your boyfriend.

“Thank god,” he sighed, hugging you. “I’m never asking anyone to move in again.”

“What about your other 5 girlfriends?” you asked sarcastically.

“They aren’t worth it,” he paused, “no one is except you.” He brushed a hair out of your face and tucked it behind you ear.

“Awwww such a romantic.” You laughed, pulling his lips to yours.

Once he pulled away he said, “We’re done yet though.”

“Yes we are?” you said confused, you had unpacked the last box merely minutes ago.

“Nope. We need to get one more thing,” he smiled, pulling you off the couch.

“What are you on about?” you asked as Joe pulled on his shoes.

“Just grab your jacket and let’s go!” he opened the door, waiting for you.

Reluctantly, you grabbed your jacket and followed him.

“I hate surprises.”

“I know,” he kissed your hand.

“Can you just tell me where we’re going?” you asked, looking at the shops you were passing.

“You’ll see in about 2 minutes.” He looked at you, winking.

“I hate you, Joe Sugg.”

“Mm, no you don’t.”

“I do. I really do.”

“No, you really don’t.”

“Just tell me where we’re going!” you pleaded.

He stopped, “you tell me.”

You looked at the shop he stopped in front of, gasping.

The Animal Shelter was written in big, bold letters above the door.

“Joe…” you whispered.

“Let’s go pick our new family member,” he smiled.

“Yes! Let’s go!” you squeezed his hand, following him inside the shelter.

Your heart melted as soon as you saw the animals. You wanted all of them.

“You can pick whatever you want,” he said, leading you towards the counter, “but I assumed you would want to look at the dogs.”

“Can we?” you asked, looking at the employee behind the counter.

“Yep! Just follow me.” She led you to a long corridor full of kennels.

Your eyes began watering.

“Y/n, love, are you okay?” Joe wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Yes, I just want them all.”

He chuckled, “maybe someday.” He kissed your temple, letting go of you.

You slowly began to walk forward, spending a few moments with each dog.

It wasn’t until you got about halfway down the corridor when you saw him. He was a very thin German shepherd. You could tell he had been underfed. When you knelt in front of his kennel, he hesitated, but slowly walked towards you.

“Hey lil guy,” you put your hand against the bars, tears slowly falling from your eyes.

He nudged you hand, then licked it.

“Joe,” you whispered, feeling Joe’s presence as he knelt next to you.

“Is he the one?” your boyfriend asked, putting his hand on your thigh.

“Yes. He’s the one.” You smiled, standing up. “Okay, what do I have to sign. He’s the one. I want him.”

The employee smiled, “Very good choice. He’s been here almost 3 months now.” She opened the gate, letting the dog out.

“Can we pick his name?” you asked.

“Seeing as he’s still a puppy, yes.” She smiled, putting a leash on the dog, your dog.

After about a half an hour of paperwork, and many tears, mostly yours, okay all of them were your, you and Joe left with your new family member.

~~

“Not that I don’t like it, but why you choose that name?” he asked, petting the dog that was currently sat on his lap. Joe was spread out on the couch, head in your lap.

You laughed, “The first dog I ever fell in love with was named that.” One hand was running through his hair, the other was lightly petting your new puppy.

“Hmm, well it was a good choice.”

“Thank you.”

“Frankie Sugg. It has a nice ring, don’tcha think?” he looked up at you.

“No seriously, thank you. It means a lot to me that you did this for me.” You smiled at your boyfriend.

“I wanted to share your first memory of having a dog with you.” His eyes sparkled.

“I love you Joseph Sugg.”

“I love you too, Y/n Y/l/n.”

You spent the rest of the night talking about how to tell the fans.

“Maybe we could do a Q&A? Or a something like that,” you said, scrolling through the ideas on your phone. “What do you think babe?”

When you didn’t get a response, you looked down at your boyfriend.

He was asleep. His arms were holding Frankie close to his chest, Frankie’s head was nuzzled into Joe’s neck. They both lightly snored as you snapped a pic.

You knew exactly how you were going to tell the fans you had added a new addition to the family.

briarlily  asked:

Reylo, T?

T. An obscure AU

i used a generator and got “a quirky monster from under the bed AU.” ngl, my inner weeb who i thought long dead took the wheel and drew some serious inspiration from baku and also dark bakura

@moodiful819​ also encouraged me so thank you for that fic buddy <3

Kylo’s latest host hardly has much of a bed at all. It is more of a glorified pillow, if even that, made of two hides stitched together and stuffed with rags and steelpecker feathers. Still, the scavenger girl sleeps on it, molding the cushion to fit her shape with her rangy body curled into a ball. It qualifies as enough of a bed for Kylo to live underneath it, anyway. He dissipates into little more than wisps of darkness that hide in the shadows of her AT-AT home before she goes to sleep.

Then he slides out from beneath the pillow and assumes his more humanoid form, the better to reach out and pluck her bad dreams from her mind.

Keep reading

7

JOHN: as for fighting, lately we’ve been tangoing with the dastardly midnight crew! 
JOHN: they’re not super tough, just relatively annoying. gang wars and shit.
JOHN: though, i have heard this super juicy rumor about crockercorp actually being evil! the batterwitch controlling the world under the guise of a sweet woman making shitty boxed baked goods.
JOHN: it’s a whole conspiracy i tell you!
DAVE: john no
DAVE: weve talked about this shit man–yeah crockercorp is evil but its like
DAVE: evil in the way disney is
DAVE: im pretty sure theyre more interested in makin a quick buck than they are in evil totalitarian world domination
DAVE: you feelin me here??
JOHN: no, i’m not feelin’ you here! they’re totally evil. end of story.
JOHN: also i’m known as the hammer and dave’s the knight!
JOHN: so chivalrous! 
DAVE: damn skippy

Living With You

read on ff.net and ao3

tags: @beaxnalu

rating: t+ for sexual joking, swear words, and mild smut later on

pairings: nalu, slight gajevy this chapter, possible mentions of gruvia later on

characters: natsu, lucy, gajeel, levy, gray

summary: Finding herself thrown out and drunk after a party wasn’t the way Lucy expected her night to go. After blacking out and waking up in a room with three men, she has a decision to make: will she stay or will she go? Loosely based on New Girl. Roommates!AU


Lucy felt like she was drowning.

Her feelings felt murky like she was underwater and couldn’t get out. The words were muffled and the sights were but a blur. Everything felt plain wrong, like someone had wrapped cellophane over her whole body and tried to get her to move. Her limbs were stuck in their tight positions; just lifting the bottle to her lips to drown her sorrows was exhausting. Lucy fought to just stay awake. Her eyes fluttered shut, and her cold seat of a bench wasn’t much help for something to hold on to. Rain droplets flicked on her body and kept her from warmth. The only thing she felt was cold, and the only thing she saw was the bright lights burning her eyes.

Lucy was having an anxiety attack, an eight point three on a scale of ten, and there was no one to save her. As she fell off of her bench seat and onto the concrete, she didn’t care if she died or lived. All she wanted was relief from this hell. The face of the man who abandoned her came into her mind’s eye, and she curled up into a soft ball with the strength she could muster. Voices hit her all at once, calling her names like they once did. She succumbed to a quiet death on the concrete sidewalk next to a 7 Eleven, and she didn’t care who found her body.

And then, the sound of a voice was shockingly loud. The sentence crying for help was shouted, but to Lucy the emotions sounded dull and the words shallow, and she blocked them out. She could only trust the person that had found her.

Keep reading

Female Portrayals in Video Games

Recently Overwatch released a new character, citing complaintsof a lack of ‘body diversity’.  Now, Idon’t like the character but that’s for a variety of reasons and that’ll becoming at a later date.  No, what really botheredme was this argument and the implications for a common trend in representation of women in video games.

To add some context, I’m a gay woman and I want to be a game dev.  I’ve loved video games and been a gamer for close to 15 years.  And I really feel there are pressing issues with the arguments for ‘representation of women in video games’.  I’ve made similar rants about this general topic before and you can find my most successful one here.

If you’re concerned with women, body types, representation, etc, I suggest you give me a fair shake and read all the way to the end.  More under the break.

Keep reading

Let’s stop Juvia hate please

Seriously, guys, why so much hate on the poor rain woman? I’m not even a big fan of her. Currently, I actually feel almost indifferent to her, but lately I haven’t been able to read a fanfic without seeing hate towards her. Why so much hate, people? For fuck’s sake, this is the woman who sacrificed herself for Cana, who would die for the guild, who sacrificed her love for her precious Gray-sama in order to protect the guild from the necromancer.

Please, people. I think she deserves better than the way the fandom treats her.

There Was A Foolish Barber And His Love... (Sweeney Todd AU)

(( Closed Starter for @purpleslaughter ))

A small person, eyes hidden behind the veil, and their hair tucked in a hood. Their skin seemed almost unnaturally pale and white, but that seemed to be almost normal here. Making sure that the woman who baked the meat pies downstairs wasn’t around, they rushed upstairs, hesitating slightly when they reached the door.

It had been a long time since they had last been in here, and…maybe they were just being silly, but they knocked anyways. If it wasn’t him, then they would just leave….

But no one was inside. They were a little hesitant, but opened the door and went in, just for a look. They looked around, and stopped when they saw what was on the barber’s table. Those…were his blades…. They turned to see the pictures, on its old spot, dusted off and cleaned with care. They started to reach for it, not noticing that someone was coming upstairs.

@banetales

mundane tv had already made alec hate it. there were shows that didn’t make sense to him, some shows that had unreasonable drama and there were fifty different variants of the same mundie law enforcement tv show on at the same time. he stopped on the cooking channel for a while, watching some old woman bake some extravagant looking cupcakes. alec flicked his eyes to the kitchen and tilted his head in thought before he pulled his phone from his front pocket and googled some of the ingredients she was using. he looked at the feline laying next to him, showing chairman the current picture up on his phone, “should i make these?” he asked the cat seriously. when the feline looked up at alec like he was crazy… well he took it as a ‘yes’.

and then suddenly he was making muffins. the first batch of four wasn’t the best and they weren’t puffy enough so he shoved them to the very back of the counter before starting again. he added more flour this time- two cups this new website says. he splattered some of the flour onto his black shirt, which irritated him so he grabbed an apron hanging around and continued on. these weren’t good enough either. the next batch he decided to take the initiative of brown sugar as well, two tablespoons full, on the tops of them. magnus had chocolate lying around in the cabinets… he shoved some of that in too. these were much better… but the chocolate was lumpy and melted too far into the muffin. the last batch was the best— he searched for chocolate chips but found nothing so he just took the same chocolate pieces from before and broke them up into smaller bits before adding them in.

alec looked at them with a lopsided grin and wiped his hand across his face, which he was sure must’ve gotten all kinds of flour and sugar on him but he was too satisfied with himself to care. the clock read a MUCH later time than when he began and he didn’t want magnus to come home to a mess so he tried to shove all of the dirty dishes into the sink and started to scrub away (even though he was almost willing to make more).