wolf whistle!!

A thing that definitely exists within the YOI universe is a Buzzfeed article entitled “This is what happens when the world’s top figure skaters are stuck in an airport!” and it’s a video of Phichit and Yuuri laughing their way through some old choreography that Phichit did their first year living together to the Spice Girls’ Wannabe. The wolf whistles make it pretty obvious who’s filming.

Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov zig-a-zig ahs alongside fellow figure skater Phichit Chulanont while husband Viktor offers encouragement from behind the camera. Chulanont and the Katsuki-Nikiforovs were stuck in the Milan airport overnight, along with more than a dozen other skaters, as severe thunder storms hit the area following Sunday’s World Championships. Thankfully, boredom is hard to come by when you have good friends and the Spice Girls on hand!

Yuuri is only a little bit embarrassed when his sleep-deprived ass-shaking goes viral.

justalilwriterblog  asked:

Okay, picture this for sexy times with Yondu: His bae is laying there on his bed, totally naked to surprise him, and once he sees it he can't help letting out a wolf whistle. His arrow shoots across the room in response, goes half through the wall, and he actually looks kinda sheepish for a sec as he retrieves it like "Damn, darlin'. Lookin' so good that I about caused an accident. Lemme put this away and then Cap'n is gonna come play with ya." ^.~


first of all:

who gave you the right…

Whistling wolves ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ Whistling love ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

A little animation I made while my friends where able to talk about the LGBTQ+ community with children from to a special day, to explain them many things about it. I support this all and my friends were happy I could join to animate a little thing for this event ^^

The kids loved it, parents as well, it was amazing!!

Love is everywhere, this is important! 

Song, Twisted nerve, remixed

Okay but Victuuri childhood friends au where Viktor used to babysit Yuuri and he absolutely adored him to the ends of the Earth and called him his lil bro and they used to have slumber parties together and Yuuri used to tag along sometimes whenever Viktor hung out with his friends because Chris and Georgi and everyone also adored Yuuri.

And when Yuuri is 14 he develops the biggest crush ever on Viktor but Viktor only sees him as his little brother so Yuuri is just silently pining away and Chris knows, so whenever Viktor gets a datemate, Chris spends the night in with Yuuri comforting him, watching movies and eating junk food. And whenever Viktor starts waxing poetic about his new s/o, Chris changes the topic asap because he doesn’t want Yuuri to get hurt. He even warns Viktor not to gush about his datemates to Yuuri, and when Viktor obliviously asks why, Chris just gives a bullshit answer like “he’s still young, he doesn’t care about that kind of stuff. You’ll bore him and he won’t talk to you anymore”.

Meanwhile Viktor has a new datemate like every month that he breaks up with like 2 weeks later, and 9 times out of 10, it’s because he literally will not stop talking about how adorable Yuuri is.

This goes on for several years and suddenly, Viktor is 23, and he’s dating this sweet Asian girl who goes to the same university as him and they’ve been together for a month, and he’s starting to think that maybe he’s ready to get serious.

And then.

He goes to pick Yuuri up from dance practice one day. And he’s expecting Yuuri to be doing ballet, and he loves watching Yuuri do ballet. Because he’s just. So graceful and gorgeous.

But he walks in.

And Yuuri’s wrapped around a pole.

And Viktor just fucking. Freezes.

Because holy fuck. Look at those thighs. And that ass. And is it hot in here or is it just me?

He stands there just completely spellbound until he’s broken out of it when he hears a wolf whistle from off to the side.

And he turns to see a dark-skinned young Asian teenager who can’t be much older than 16. And pick-up line after pick-up line is spewing from his lips as he takes approximately three hundred photos of Yuuri from all angles.

And Yuuri starts laughing so hard that eventually he has to come down, and he’s chastising the boy - Phichit - for distracting him.

And the jealousy that flares up in Viktor in that moment alerts him to the fact that, oh shit, he’s in love with Yuuri.

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Top 10 times a bold, confident Yuuri surprised Viktor by taking initiative with PDA

Top 10 Times a Bold, Confident Yuuri Surprised Viktor By Taking Initiative With PDA

10) Once, when they had been apart for a couple of months for euros/4c, they reunited in an airport and it was like romance movie level drama. Yuuri literally ran and threw himself at Viktor because he had missed him so much and Viktor caught him and spun him around while they were both smiling and laughing and then dipped him into a kiss

9) After being apart for a while, Yuuri and Viktor planned to meet up at one of Viktor’s competitions that Yuuri wasn’t skating in but his flight was delayed and his missed the start. He showed up in the middle of Viktor’s skating and as soon as Viktor got off the ice he ran and literally jumped into Viktor’s arms to kiss him with his legs wrapped around Viktor’s waist which got a lot of approving cheers and wolf whistling from the crowd around them.  

8) Once they were at an outdoor skating rink during the winter and Yuuri kept pretending not to be able to skate to make Viktor hold his hand and catch him when he ‘fell’

7) Once they were at a competition and one of the journalists was flirting very heavily with Viktor despite Viktor not reciprocating and so Yuuri interrupted the interview by pulling Viktor into a kiss and making out with him for so long that the journalist was forced to awkwardly leave (Viktor was absolutely not complaining)

6) Their first time visiting Yuuri’s family in Japan, Yuuri was much less physically affectionate than normal which started to make Viktor a little insecure. But after he mentioned it one night, the next day he came down to breakfast and Yuuri greeted him with a morning kiss and a cup of coffee in front of all the Katsukis to show that he wasn’t ashamed of Viktor at all like Viktor had been worried about

5) Once in St Petersburg Viktor was having a really long conversation with Yakov and holding Yuuri up from leaving so Yuuri went to kiss him goodbye in a kiss that was very much not PG and then whispered something in his ear which made Viktor turn bright red and be like ‘I need to go right now, immediately’ and practically run out after Yuuri

4) Once when they were skating together in Russia when Yuuri came to visit Viktor, some of the younger Russian skaters were making rude comments about Yuuri and their relationship like ‘I wonder if he still fucks Viktor for the gold or if he’s after his money now as well’, since there had been rumours about marriage. In response Yuuri pulled Viktor down into a kiss which got pretty heated pretty quickly and ended up looking over directly at the other skaters mid kiss from over Viktor’s shoulder and raising his eyebrow in a ‘does this look fake to you’ condescending look

3) During the Russian Nationals after chapter 14 Yuuri went along to cheer Viktor on and prove his love to all of Russia which is where the tie pull of the Rivals universe happened except it lead into a kiss that very nearly made Viktor late to skate and ensured he skated his entire routine with a serious blush on his face and hearts in his eyes

2) The kiss from chapter 14

1) At their wedding everyone thought that it was Viktor who was going to kiss Yuuri but instead Yuuri grabbed Viktor as soon as the last words were said and pulled him down into a kiss in front of all their family and friends and refused to let go for a long time. When they finally did break apart his first words were ‘I love you and I’m sorry I made you wait so long’ (because his biggest regret will always be how much more time they could have had together if he had just realised Viktor’s feelings a little earlier)

The Kissing Booth

A SnowBaz fanfiction


Simon

Once a year, usually in the spring, Watford stages a carnival for the students.  It’s usually quite humble, mainly consisting of booths selling small magic trinkets, or snacks like cotton candy, sweets and other classic carnival fare.  There’s always the tiny petting zoo over near the Cloisters, and some years Watford even scrapes enough together to bring in a carousel.  Most of the booths are run by student volunteers, and though everything is by donation, all proceeds go to whichever charity the student body has voted on.

           I go every year, mostly for the caramel apples and sweet cider, but this is the first year I’ve been behind the scenes of the carnival and helped at a booth.

           In truth, I didn’t even sign up for it, but Agatha hadn’t had a break all day and needed some cotton candy of her own.

           I should have told her to find Penny, or Trixie or even Minty.  Anyone but me.

           It doesn’t take long for the word to spread that Simon Snow has taken over the Kissing Booth, and mortifyingly the line has doubled in length.  Mostly first or second-year girls, blushing and stammering or swaggering up to the counter with a pronounced sway in their step, with the odd boy interspersed through the line.

           It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me – that honour goes to the time in second year that Baz stumbled upon a spell that made my clothes slowly dissipate, garment by garment, in the middle of the dining hall – and after the first two or three quick, cold kisses I start to calm down, but I’m counting the minutes until Agatha comes back.  How she endured hours of this, I cannot comprehend.  That’s just Agatha, I guess.

           A redhead drops her donation into the tin and her eyes flit around, meeting me for only a split second at a time, her cheeks aflame.  I try to look as non-threatening as I can and lean forward enough that she can close the rest of the space.  She darts in with a kiss that’s no more than a peck before running over to a giggling pair of who must be her friends, a triumphant grin on her face. She must have been dared.  Poor girl.  I hope I wasn’t her first.

           “Well, well, well.”

           My stomach lurches at the cold drawl I know only too well.

           “What are you doing here, Baz?” I say in as civilized a tone as I can manage.

           He stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth in a twist that’s a bit too amused to be a sneer.  “When I heard that the Chosen One had taken over the Snogging Booth, I simply had to see it for myself.”

           “Well, now you’ve seen it, so now you can go.”

           “Saving the World of Mages one kiss at a time,” Baz murmurs with a chuckle.  “Not exactly what I was envisioning.”

           “I’m only covering for Agatha,” I retort, “she’ll be back in five minutes if you’re wanting her services.”

           He scoffs.  “I’d rather not snog your girlfriend, thank you very much.”

           “She’s not my – forget it,” I shake my head.  I’ve told him at least a dozen times, but it never stops him.

           “She must have been really desperate for a break to put you in charge,” Baz drawls on, his voice smooth like honey but with too much of a bite to be sweet.  “You’d think she’d at least pick someone attractive for the Kissing Booth.”

           It stings, but I don’t flinch.  “What, someone like you?” I spit back too fast.

           His eyebrows shoot up in delighted surprise as I realize my mistake.  “You flatter me, Snow,” he purrs, and I feel my cheeks heat up, but I furrow my brow tighter and hope it passes for anger.

           “Is there a reason you’re still here?” I growl as the burning spreads from my cheeks to my ears.  

           “As a matter of fact, there is,” Baz says, and his gray eyes look cool enough to staunch the flames at the tips of my ears, but the more I glare into them the more the fire rages.  “I’m here to torment you.”

           “Great, well you’ve done that.”

           “I wanted to see what you’d do.”  He leans on the edge of the counter, bringing his face far too close to mine for comfort. “What would the Mage’s Heir do if his nemesis showed up at the Kissing Booth?”

           “You can torment me any time,” I shoot back, “you’re holding up the line.”

           “Oh, yes, well,” he feigns conern, “I wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their kiss.”

           “Then go away.”

           His eyes narrow and he pretends to think.  “Mmm, no.  I don’t think so.”

           “Baz, I’m warning you.”

           “Terrifying,” he drones, “but this is too much fun.  Besides,” his eyebrow flickers up, “don’t you owe me a kiss?”

           I flash him a smirk of my own.  “Aw, Baz. If you were so desperate for a kiss, you could’ve just asked.”

           Baz, to his credit, doesn’t bat an eye.  “You think of that comeback yourself?”

           “There’s a fee, you know,” I ignore him, barely having to raise my voice above a murmur for him to hear me, he’s so close.  “You haven’t paid the fee, so I don’t owe you anything.”

           He doesn’t drop his eyes from mine, and the cool gray takes on the spark of a challenge.  Out of my periphery I see him reach into his pocket, and there’s the clatter of coins dropping into the tin.

           I should punch him.

           I should spit in his face.

           I wanted to see what you’d do.

           I take him by the lapels and crush his mouth under mine.

           He makes a muffled sound of shock.  To be fair, so do I, but mine is more angry than it is surprised.  I kiss him hard and rough, and it’s a bit of a juxtaposition because his mouth is oddly soft.  A face like his, you’d expect his lips to be made of marble, cold and unmoving, but he’s the farthest thing from unmoving.  I can’t tell if he’s struggling or if he’s kissing me back but his lips are so, so soft and I want to bruise them, mark them, bite them…

           I only stop when a series of wolf whistles reminds me that there are at least ten people watching us.

           Trying to salvage the illusion of control, I break away harshly, still gripping him by his collar.  The cocky smirk has dropped from his smooth features and now his face mirrors mine, a matching scowl, like I’ve crossed a dangerous line.  I probably have.

           “Was that what you wanted?” I growl.

           He doesn’t answer, just holds my gaze another few seconds before pushing back from the table, his lapels slipping out of my hands, and stalking away.

*** 

I don’t see Baz at the carnival after that, and I stay as long as the booths are open, perusing the same counters and feigning interest even after having looked through their contents three times.  I keep Penny company where she mans the popcorn booth, drizzling caramel over every few cartons, and I even get bored enough to hang around Agatha back at the Kissing Booth for a little while, until one too many patrons have asked if I’m available for service.  When she and Penny are freed we pet the goats at the petting zoo, the ones that Ebb has graciously volunteered for the event, and take a few spins on the carousel.  Only once the light has begun to fade and the signs are being lowered from their booths do the three of us part ways.  Even then, I offer to help Ebb get her goats back safely.

           Basically, I’m doing anything I can to put off going back to the room, but eventually I can’t avoid it any longer.  I’ve wandered the grounds enough times that the sun has properly disappeared behind the distant hills and I can barely see the ground in front of me. Even then I’m tempted to consider crazy alternatives like spending the night at Ebb’s place, but I’m pretty sure that would be against school rules anyway, and besides, I’ll have to face Baz eventually.  There’s no undoing what’s happened.

           When I finally trudge back into the room, he’s staring out the window at the moat, presumably trying to intimidate the merwolves, but he turns at the sound of the door.  His expression, though I don’t see it for long before I look away, is hard to read. Wide eyes and a furrowed brow, like he’s still mad at me for my stunt earlier, but there’s a bit of a questioning edge there, too.  Almost a where were you edge.

           Normally I have to start any type of conversation, but tonight he wastes no time. “What the hell was that, Snow?”

           There’s no question as to what he’s referring, and I can’t help but get angry again.  “Me? You’re the one who had to start something!”

           “Well, you didn’t have to react so drastically,” he mutters, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall by the window, the moonlight casting its glow on his skin and making him even paler than usual, almost transparent.  I half expect fangs to slide out from his lips for no reason and complete the picture.

           His soft, soft lips.

           “You were egging me on,” I seethe, the memory igniting the rage that I’d felt in the fractured moment before kissing him, “it’s your fault anything happened.”

           “Proud little hero,” Baz says with the slightest smirk, “can’t back down from a challenge.”

           “You know I can’t, not in front of people.”

           “Wouldn’t want them to think the Heir is a coward.”

           I feel like a balloon in me is swelling and deflating at once.  “But that’s just it, Baz,” I insist, anger momentarily aside.  “If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?”

           He doesn’t answer right away, and for a second I think maybe he understands. I want so badly for him to understand.

           “No reason,” Baz eventually says, turning to look out the window again, “not with someone like you as the Chosen One.”

           I want to groan, to kick something, to shake him by the shoulders and make him look me in the eye and for once not fight me.  Have we ever in our lives made eye contact without there being some challenge between us?

           “Why did you have to get in that line?” I shake my head.  “There are so many other ways of tormenting me, lower-stakes ways.”

           “To be fair, I’ve already exhausted most of those,” Baz murmurs with a little shrug of his shoulders.

           “When have you ever been fair?”

           “Touché.”

           I’m tired of standing here at the door, so I kick off my shoes and sit down on my bed, trying not to think about how much closer I am to him now, still at the window, looking as vampiric as ever.  His gray eyes are positively silver in the moonlight, and the black of his hair looks silkier than ever, as if it’s soaking the rays directly into him. He almost glows.  I have to laugh a little, because more than once Baz has mockingly compared me, with my bronze curls and sky-blue eyes, to the sun, but he himself wears a halo of night.  If I am the sun, then Baz is most certainly the moon.  Distant, cold, mysterious, almost too pristine to touch.

           His gaze returns to me suddenly.  He raises an eyebrow in a wordless inquiry, and I realize I’ve been staring.

           “What exactly was it you expected me to do?”

           “At what point, Snow?” he gives a humourless laugh.  “You had more than one opportunity to react.”

           “When you paid the fee.”

           His tiny smile disappears.  “It doesn’t matter.”

           “It does.”

           “Drop it, Snow,” he says, the hardness returning to his eyes, and I know I’ve cornered him.  Drop it is Baz’s way of betraying himself, of saying there’s something that he doesn’t want to tell.

           “Was I supposed to kiss you?” I ask.  For some reason I have to know.

           “No.”

           “Then what?”

           “I don’t know, Snow, punch me.  Push me. Beat me to the ground.  Something.”

           My brow furrows in confusion.  “Wait. You wanted me to hit you?”

           He shrugs, more with his head than his shoulder.  “One of us has to get hurt, right?”

           I rise to my feet, and I’m face-to-face with him again, only his eyes are different this time.  Whereas at the booth he had betrayed no hint of doubt at our closeness, now there’s a flicker of something in the silver, something that feels a lot like the way my heart is racing in my chest, and it dawns on me.  He was putting on a show at the carnival, acting like nothing I could do would get to him, just as I had been.

           If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?

           One of us has to get hurt, right?

           And suddenly it makes sense.

           There’s only a few inches between us, so it feels almost natural when I lean in and press the gentlest of kisses to his lips.

           He doesn’t kiss me back this time, but he doesn’t move away either.  “What was that for?” he asks when I draw back a second later.

           “You act like we’re so different,” I say wonderingly, “but we’re the same.”

           “How?”

           “What do you think we’d be if we didn’t have to fight each other?”

           I don’t miss the split second of longing in his eyes.  “Keep dreaming, Snow.”

           “Because I bet it would involve a lot more of this.”  I bring a hand up to his neck, my fingers instantly lost in the wavy tips of his hair and it’s exactly as soft as it looks bathed in moonlight.

           Baz closes his eyes like he has to collect himself.  “You’re the hero.  I’m the villain.  What more do I have to say?”

           “Fuck that,” I chuckle, “we both know that’s not true.  You’re a boy, and I’m a boy.  That’s all.”

           “Tell that to the rest of the world.”

           “I don’t care about the rest of the world,” I shake my head adamantly, “I want to know what you think.”    

           “About what?”

           “If there was no act, no reputation, no role to play,” I murmur, “if we were just two boys, what would you do?”

           Baz returns my gaze a moment, searching my eyes.    

           Then his lashes close and he’s kissing me, and my eyes drift shut again like I’m sighing in relief.

           I let my fingers tangle higher up in his hair while my other hand grips the front of his shirt like earlier, only without the anger of the afternoon.  He angles his head further and guides the kiss deeper, his hands gently gripping my waist and pulling me closer.  I melt against him, my mouth moving with his, my head swimming with his citrusy scent, and I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat when he takes my bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle tug. Suddenly I’m floating, weightless, and Baz gives a muffled sound of surprise when I press back a little harder.

           When we finally break apart, both of us gasping and dizzy, I immediately want more, want to line his neck with my mouth, want to feel his breath hitch when I reach the base of his throat, want to hear my name in his sigh.  Would he sigh Snow or Simon?  I want to know.

           “Please,” I whisper, dotting a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “can’t we just be two boys?”

           When I meet his eyes, they’re full of more longing than ever.

           In response, he kisses a soft, slow triangle pattern on my cheek, and I recognize the pattern of the three moles by my eye, and I can’t help but smile.

“We can try.”

Let's Pretend (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

A/N: I got the name from one of the clothes shops of Saints Row V lol. I plan on making at least two more parts to this, I’m halfway through part two and have the beginning of part three in the works! ^_^. I’m sorry if there’s any misspelling, I get too excited and I tend to rush. Feedback is hella appreciated! - D.

Let’s Pretend: Tony finds a website of two shape shifting mutant pornstars who make their living impersonating the Avengers on their website and decide to show the team.

WARNING: Graphic details of sex. Swearing. Soon-to-be-smut. Second hand embarrassment lol.

Keep reading

A list of terms explained.

Capitalism: your mum washes your clothes.
You pay her a dollar.
She complains.
You call the police and claim she’s rioting.

Communism: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. Every night you salute a photo of your dad.

Socialism: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking. Everyone is theoretically happy.

Fascism: your mum does the washing whilst fearing for her life.

Nazism: your mum does the washing. You gas the laundry room.

Feudalism: your mum does the washing and pays you tax.

Liberalism: you watch your mum do the washing and feel really really bad.
“Something.must be done” u say.
Something may or may not get done.

Libertarianism: your mum does the washing. You believe you did it.

Religion: your mum does the washing. You thank god.

Atheism: your mum does the washing. You make a YouTube video demanding peer reviewed evidence she did, in fact, do the washing.

misogyny: you hate your mum whether or not she does the washing.

Patriarchy: your mum doesn’t exist. The washing is mysteriously done.

Men’s rights activism: your mum does the washing.You call her a whore.

Matriarchy: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. you are really happy pilling your weight in the house.

Gamergateism: your mum mentioned in her blog she did the washing. You doxed her.

Feminism: your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing.

White feminism: your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing.

Anti feminism: your mum has left you. A year later, You wrote “fucking whore” with the dirty clothes on the floor.

Hollywoodism: you are Colin Farrell. Your mum is Angelina Jolie. There is sexual tension. An unnamed black maid does the washing.

Islamophobia: your mum does the washing. She left out a sock. You brand her a hygiene terrorist.

Racism: your mum does the washing. She blames black people.

Cultural appropriationism: While your mum does the washing, You steal her dirty clothes mimic her in public. Public gives you money.

Colonialism: you barge into mum’s room. Claim you “discovered” it. Dump your dirty clothes on the floor.

Geekism: your mum does the washing and the cosplay outfit. You build a robot that plays chess and cricket. You sell robot to Google.

Neo capitalism: your mum does the washing.
You pay her a dollar.
You get her to do your mates washing.
Your mate pays you £50.

Corporationism: your mum considers not doing the washing. u pay your mate £35 to lobby on ur behalf. No dice. u sue for “emotional sabotage”.

Americanism: your mum does the washing. It’s in the constitution. END OF DISCUSSION.

Ableism: your mum is doing the washing. She has dementia. You call her a “retard.”

Mis-genderism: “cheers dude” you say, as your mum does the washing. She tells you she’s not a dude. “Whatever dude”, you say.

Mansplaining: your mum does the washing. You tell her how best to do the washing.
You have never done the washing.

Sexism: of course your mum does the washing.
Duh.

Cat-calling: your mum does the washing.
You wolf whistle at her. You are oblivious as to how fucking creepy this is.

Rape culture: it’s mum’s fault she does the washing/she asked to do the washing/she doesn’t do the washing as much as she says she does.

Egalitarianism: that one time you did the washing is proof its all equal and no one needs feminism any more.

Hip hop: everyday im hustling/ every day I’m hustling/ when I bring the basket/mama put the washing in.

Callout culture: your mum’s washing is problematic so you unfollow/block/subtweet/dose her mentions in acid.

Homophobia: you think it’s unnatural that your mum doesn’t do the washing. Against gods will, even.

Hotepism: Black women are queens. The white man is a devil. The black race must open their eyes.
Mum does the washing.

Narcissism: You look good in the clothes your mum washed.

Brexit: you refuse to put your clothes in the basket
In retaliation, your mum no longer does your washing
You wear smelly clothes.

Alt Rightism: your mum does the washing. All the clothes are white
She also has to wear a pepe costume. Because you find it funny.

Polling: there’s a 70% chance you will do your washing on Saturday night
Come Sunday morning it was all done by your mum.

Corbynism: your brother wants to radically change who does the washing
Your brother also hangs out with anti semites and looks shabby.

NASA: Your mum washes your astronaut suit and we only find out 50+ years later.

Toxic Masculinity: Your brother helped your mum do the washing so you called him a pussy to his face/drank all the beer/demanded a fight etc.

Same sex marriage: Your mums do the washing.

anonymous asked:

These top 10 you do are really great, you have such good ideas. Would you be willing to do one like "Top 10 Katsuki/Nikiforov Moments That Had Everyone Swooning" (from interviews, caught by paparazzi, public, whatever you decide) - something like the sweetest, sappiest shit the media managed to catch of them and had everyone wonder how did these two go from rivals to relationship goals. Thank you so much <3 <3 <3

Hi!! Just wanted to say I love your story too much, especially the social media bits that make it even more enjoyable and funny!!! Also, if you feel comfortable with it and haven’t done it already, I was wondering if you could do Top 10 Viktuuri Posts that made the Fangirls Die from Nosebleeds!! Sorry if you already answered it or don’t have time, I still love you and your beautiful fanfiction no matter what!!!

Top ten Viktuuri PDA moments?

Right, I’m going to group these all together because they are similar enough that I can’t come up with separate lists for them all.

Top Ten Romantic Moments:

10) Once, when they had been apart for a couple of months for euros/4c, they reunited in an airport and it was like romance movie level drama. Yuuri literally ran and threw himself at Viktor and Viktor caught him and spun him around while they were both smiling and laughing and then dipped him into a kiss and everyone around them was like ‘that’s super adorable but also can you two not be Extra for like 2 minutes around each other’

9) At one point the paparazzi caught them on a date in Detroit when Yuuri was still living there and Viktor had come to see him and they both brought each other flowers at the restaurant and tried to give them to each other at the same time and then laughed about how they had both picked the exact same way to try and surprise each other

8) Once after a competition in a cold country Viktor said something to Yuuri that made him glare at Viktor for a second and then stuff freezing cold snow down the back of Viktor’s jacket in revenge. Viktor retaliated by chucking a snowball at Yuuri and it devolved into a completely childish snow war that ended with them slipping and falling together and then laughing and kissing in the snow.

7) During an interview which was the first that either of them had really spoken about what happened to lead up to The Big Kiss, Yuuri was really nervous. So all throughout the filmed interview Viktor kept subtly reassuring him with little touches and being close except nothing is subtle about the two of them and it eventually ended up with Yuuri practically sitting in Viktor’s lap for the majority of the interview and looking more relaxed than anyone had seen him during an interview before

6) At Hasetsu, a paparazzi snuck in to watch them on the beach together and got a bunch of photos of a super competitive beach volleyball game that ended with Yuuri tackling Viktor into the sea until he begged for mercy while laughing and then them kissing in the waves in a very ‘poster for a romance film’ kind of way in photo that very quickly went viral.  

5) Once Yuuri slipped and fell on the ice in a street in St Petersburg and hurt his ankle and instead of calling for a taxi like a normal person, Viktor carried him bridal style all the way back to their apartment

4) After being apart for a while, Yuuri and Viktor planned to meet up at one of Viktor’s competitions that Yuuri wasn’t skating in but his flight was delayed and his missed the start. He showed up in the middle of Viktor’s skating and as soon as Viktor got off the ice he ran and literally jumped into Viktor’s arms to kiss him with his legs wrapped around Viktor’s waist which got a lot of approving cheers and wolf whistling from the crowd around them.  

3) At the competition after the events of chapter 14, their exhibition skates had changed to Viktor’s being the duet of Stay Close to Me and Yuuri’s being Dark Eyes in honour of Viktor. Yuuri skating to something Russian made everyone’s heart melt and the Stay Close to Me duet became considered one of the most romantic moments ever. Both exhibitions were generally considered their best non-competitive skates ever. The only other one that came close to that title was the time when a group of people started saying that Yuuri had only slept with Viktor to win gold and in retaliation in an ice show, Yuuri skated to ‘Fucked My Way Up To The Top’ out of pure spite and everyone loved it.

2) The Kiss from chapter 14

1) The engagement announcement but I won’t say when, how or who proposed ;)

Beach Lifeguard Au

Obi-wan gets like 14 false alarm calls each day from admirers who really just want the kiss of life from Lifeguard Kenobi. Needs a thousand layers of sunscreen a day. Still gets sunburned.

Padme actually runs the beach. Everything. All the adults, teens, toddlers listen to the lifeguard queen. There is no inappropriate diving or horseplay on her watch.No littering. Has saved like 12000 people because she is amazing, even jellyfish fear her

Ahsoka is the Cool Lifeguard. Will buy new ice cream for kids who drop theirs in the sand. Master of water gun wars and beach volleyball. Once buried Lifeguard Kenobi in the sand when he took a nap during his break

Anakin was fired the first day. Too many complaints about sand. Waits for Padme’s breaks by the food trucks, wolf whistles at Obi-Wan while he’s trying to do his job. Waits for Ahsoka to get off the sand so he can blast her with water balloons. Is a beloved public beach menace

Kind and Goofy

I thank (and blame) @pixletta for this. This is based on a short story they gave me and I just- 

ENJOY

Au where your world is black and white until you kiss your soulmate


Jeremy had always thought of his life as simple. For years he only had to focus on three things: his music loving best friend, his obnoxious teenage bully and the love of his life - the main ingredients for a teenage boy. He had grown used to the black and white surroundings he had grown up in. However this all changed when he got the Squip. 

 The little computer in his head was adamant on him becoming more than his nerdy persona. He insulted him, manipulated him into getting what he wanted and soon Jeremy found himself rising above his ranks. He was talking to the popular kids, he was wearing more fashionable clothing and his once teenage bully was not practically his best friend. All he wanted now was her - his soulmate.

But apparently, that was too much to ask. 

 "What do you mean it might not be Christine?“ Jeremy questioned his Squip out loud in his bedroom where no one else could hear. His dad had gone out to get groceries (thankfully with pants) so the house was his for the time being. 

 "I’m saying,” the CPU stated, taking his physical form over to the end of the bed, “that soulmates are not the result of science, therefore I am unable to calculate who the particular human will be, given that there are roughly 7,500,000,000 people roaming the Earth at this given moment. It is very unlikely that your soulmate is Christine." 

 "But it has to be!” Jeremy interjected. “Soulmates have a bond, and I can feel that bond between us." 

 "You don’t even know her Jeremy.”

 "I don’t need to! When I close my eyes, I can picture us together, and we’re happy. Whenever I see her, I just want to kiss her and tell her how much I love her. I want her to tell me how much she needs me… I want to know that I’m her favourite person.“ Jeremy was soon lost in his own daydream and failed to notice that the Squip had suddenly taken interest. 

Keep reading

all for love || stiles stilinski

word count: 4174

warnings: none

prompt: collab with @sarcasticallystilinski

author’s note: happy lacrosse week everyone! this is my first part of lacrosse week with hay! we are very proud of this one and we hope you have as much fun reading as we did writing!

masterlist

coming soon

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey luv! Would you write something for 'Dating Yondu would include'? Thank you 💕

-If you get him a little trinket for his dashboard, he will love and cherish it forever. It will have a special place, right in the middle between his sapphire frog and Quill’s troll doll. 

-You banter a lot, except it’s not cute and playful, it’s the sort of thing that everyone around you is like “oh shit cap’n and his bae are fighting again”…until he flashes that toothy grin and you both start laughing. Then it goes into the “you’re both laughing but suddenly he glares at everyone around him like what are you lookin’ at” in that gruff voice.

-It’s likely he rarely calls you by name. Just various, fitting nicknames/pet names. 

-You get used to his teeth eventually, by the way, and in fact, it becomes one of your main banter-topics. 

-He will deny it if you tell anyone, but on multiple occasions he has used the trail of red that his arrow leaves behind to make hearts or write little messages. 

-Like honestly he is lowkey sort of a mushy, romantic guy in his own sort of way…as long as nobody knows about it. 

-Definitely down to look out at the stars and swap stories about the past or talk about the future. Oftentimes with Quill’s music that he secretly made copies of in the background.

-He isn’t one to give gifts, however, you will literally never have to pay for another thing as long as you live.

-I wouldn’t exactly say he’s the jealous type, because he’s confident af, however, he has been known to fuck up anyone who does not treat you with the utmost respect. This includes complete strangers who do something as simple as bump into you then don’t apologize. 

-But he doesn’t see you as some delicate little thing he has to keep an eye on 100% of the time. You are his equal. He trusts you. He makes a point of teaching you to hold your own in fights. He expects you to follow the code. He’s just as loyal as you choose to be. He shows you as much respect as you show him. etc.

-Unless you’d rather have him be the more dominant one in the relationship, in which case, he’s certainly adaptable, as long as you communicate with him. Yondu is excellent at communication. 

-PDA consists of: occasional slaps on the ass as you walk by, having his arm slung over your shoulder, and being pulled to sit on his lap. This mostly happens when you’re out at a bar. (Bonus: Wolf whistles at you all the fucking time and winks when you look over). 

-Makes a lot of jokes about eating Terrans, and then he eats his Terran if you catch my drift

-When the door to his quarters is closed, he expects his crew to know what that means…someone interrupted him once and ended up with an arrow through the chest. **and he didn’t even stop what he was doing as he made a quick, sharp whistle**

-Quick stamina + quick recovery time. Always trying to break records of “how many orgasms in one night”. 

-Dislikes when you are cold and 10/10 will give you his trench coat, when needed. 

-Honestly straight up #1 grumpy boyfriend who loves you to the ends of the galaxy and back. 

Betty’s a serpent

imagine betty being a serpent wife. like out at work/school all day but can put the serpents in their place 

bughead fanfiction

So I came up with this when the episode aired (like 3am my time) so here’s a fluffy fic about that. 

Also slightly A/U to the ending of the episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bell rang signalling the end of the day at Riverdale High. Betty Cooper gathered her books and headed to her locker by herself, missing the conversation she would normally have with her boyfriend Jughead Jones.

Just before FP was charged, he had managed to sign custody of Jughead over to fellow serpent Viper who promised to keep an eye on the teen. The younger Jones had also moved to Southside High and was back living at the trailer park. 

“hey betty wait up” Kevin Keller jogged to be next to her. “Archie, Ronnie and I are heading to Pop’s now, wanna come with?”

Betty shook her head as she twisted her locker combination and opened the door “Sorry Kev, I’ve got plans”

“we’ve hardly seen you in months, not after Jughead transferred. We just wana know how you’re doing” Kevin pushed on

“Really Kev I’m fine” he gave her a pointed look “I promise. I’ve just gotta help Polly with some baby things.”

“okay but next time you are so coming with us” he reached to hug her with one arm and walked away. Betty let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding and after putting away what she needed to, slammed her locker and headed out to her car. 

~

Kevin walked into Pop’s to see Archie Andrews & Veronica Lodge cosied up in their usual booth. “please no more pda or I might puke” Kevin said sitting down on the opposite side to the new couple.

Veronica shuffled slightly further from Archie “Is Betty not coming?” Kevin shook his head no. “Has anyone really spoken to her after Jughead left?” This time both boys shook their heads no. 

“What about Polly? She’d know” Archie suggested

“Betty said she’s helping Polly with baby things, that’s why she can’t come” Kevin informed

“Really?” Archie asked “cos she’s heading in here with her mom” As if on cue, the bell rang at the door and in walked the other two Cooper women. Polly looked around and waved at the trio as they both walked to a booth. 

“Hey guys” Polly said standing at the end of the booth “how are you?” she addressed them all

“We’re good, you look gorgeous Polly” Veronica replied “Is everything okay with the babies?” 

“Both are healthy and growing as normal.”

“D’you know where Betty is? She said she’d be with you” Archie interrupted. Polly looked speechless then looks to Alice who called her back to their table. “So they’re definitely hiding something” he pointed out “maybe we should visit Jughead, see what he knows.”

“Are you insane Archie? My dad told us all to stay away from the South Side” Kevin whispered loudly 

“Come on Kev” Veronica started “It’s one time. Plus you know some of the gang from Joaquin right?” Kevin nodded slowly “Right let’s go then.” The three walked out and to Archie’s car, Kevin getting into the back and Veronica the front passenger side. 

It was a short drive over to the serpents hang out which had changed since Kevin & Archie’s last visit to a shadier part of town. Daylight was fading fast and the only streetlights working were at the end of the street. Kevin was the first to spot the bar pointing it out to his friends “over there.” The three walked to a corner building with a neon light of a snake which was the serpents logo and the word Scorpion in green.

“when did they move?” Archie wondered out loud

“Just after FP was arrested, Joaquin and I came for his goodbye gathering here. One of the second-in-commands, Viper I think his name was, he and his wife bought this place and re-did it all. A fresh start of sorts.” 

They were a few doors away when the door to Scorpion opened and a man flew out and fell to the ground and Veronica let out a loud gasp. “You know your limit Eli and you know not to mess with Jug’s girl” the person lying down groaned in response. The man standing in the doorway looked out and saw the three teenagers but went back inside instead of saying anything. 

When they walked into the bar, there was a large crowd around a pool table with people placing bets with each other raising by $5 every time. The trio walked round to see Jughead pot the black ball with a trick shot which earned a mix reaction of cheers and groans. Having not spotted them yet, the boy who was donning his very own leather jacket shouted “Alright so whose next?”

“how bout we make it interesting?” A female voice said coming from the bar “both our legacies deserve to find out whose better.” 

“I’m game if you are” Jughead said to someone who was being blocked by the rest of the patrons. The group assumed the other legacy agreed as the crowd cheered.

Viper came to the table “alright, FP Junior vs Ali Junior. Place your bets, this should be fun.” 

As the crowd moved towards Viper, Jughead approached who they assumed to be Ali Junior and kissed her. Kevin gasped grabbing onto Veronica’s arm who in turn wrapped hers around Archies and they all stood back further into the shadows to blend in.

~

Jughead had approached the girl nicknamed Ali Junior and kissed her “you sure about this Bets?” 

She nodded against his forehead and kissed him again grabbing the collar of his jacket. She pulled away and whispered in a low breath “I’m so gonna kick your butt”

The wolf whistles of the serpents broken them apart “alright kids save that for later” Viper said stashing the money in his back pocket “so whose breaking off?”

Jughead looked at Betty “age before beauty of course” he replied winking

Betty shook her head smiling walking to Viper, she pressed up against her boyfriend and leaned into his ear and said “you’re so gonna get it tonight”.

The others cheered her as she grabbed the triangle to rack up the balls. The blond placed herself on the opposite side of Jughead and leaned forward to break, hoping Jughead would get distracted by her cleavage which seemed to work. The couple continued playing the game like there was no one else in the room, teasing each other and stealing kisses whenever they could until the eight ball was left. 

Neither of them had pocketed the ball in the last couple of shots so the bets went up, more betting for Jughead to win. By this point Archie, Veronica & Kevin had made their way to the front but the two still hadn’t noticed. 
The couple shared a look and Jughead nodded ever so slightly at Betty who leaned over and angled the shot so it hit two sides before ending up in the top corner pocket. Everyone cheered for the blond who had now leapt into her boyfriends arms. Viper’s wife approached the couple with two bottles of beer and whispered something to them and suddenly they looked up at their three friends.

The room went silent with everyone’s attention now focused on the three strangers. Betty who was wearing her own honorary serpent jacket grabbed Jughead’s hand for courage who rubbed his thumb on the back of hers to help calm her down. “What are you guys doing here?” she asked with her best smile on

“We could ask you the same thing Betty” Archie said looking angry “You’re with the serpents now? This is where you’ve been, with these people, instead of hanging out with your friends? Does Alice even know where you are?”

The last question caused the rest of the bar to laugh, Viper was going to speak up but Betty shook her head and replied “These people Archie, are my friends. No not just friends, family. Mine and Jughead’s.”

“Betty these people are criminals” Veronica offered

“Oh and your dad’s not?” she snapped back which earned a few whistles from the gang “Archie my mom’s a south sider, you really think I’d be here if she didn’t trust them?”

The red haired boy looked confused so Viper spoke up “Little Ali was no stranger round here, she grew up at the same trailer park too. Her and FP always getting themselves in trouble. The serpents came naturally to most people at the park, so we snapped those two up as soon as possible. When we found out our boy Jughead here was dating her daughter, we gave her Ali’s old jacket” he pointed to what Betty was wearing 

“Really Betty? Is that what happened because we can take you home if you need a ride instead of staying with the scoundrels. Please B” Veronica pushed

“Watch you’re mouth princess” the voice of another serpent who walked out from the shadows

“Don’t talk to her like that” Archie jumped in 

“Yeah? Or what?” He challenged “You gonna run and tell daddy?” Archie lunged towards the snake attempting to punch him but missed and ended up with a punch to his stomach which sent him flying backwards slightly, the other’s around cheering. 

He grabbed Archie’s jacket and had started raising his fist to punch him when he heard Jughead shout “BP don’t do it” but he raised his fist even higher until the sharp voice of one Betty Cooper cut through the crowd 

“Buster Peters Specter you put him down right now” they all moved to show Betty standing with her hands on her hips Jughead smirking behind her. 

“you got off lucky kid” BP told the boy then dropped him to the floor as Veronica and Kevin rushed to see if he was okay. The older man looked up at Betty and tipped his backwards baseball cap “sorry miss betty” who in return nodded and he walked off. Jughead helped Archie off the floor “follow us” he said as he and Betty led their friends to a room upstairs. 

Jughead unlocked the door and walked in with Betty following, Veronica spotted that the name on the door said Cooper-Jones and showed it to Archie and Kevin behind her. Inside had a large desk which was covered with then teenagers homework, two laptops (one on each end of the desk), a filing cabinet and a three person sofa which was against the side wall, above was a photo of the couple with a white dog. Betty sat down behind the desk with Jughead leaning against the wall behind her.

“Sorry about BP, he’s very” Betty looked to Jughead for the right word

“Protective” he offered “always has been” Veronica scoffed 

“It’s true!” Betty insisted “he’s the oldest of five, his parents were’t really around so he basically raised his siblings himself so he prides himself on family. I’ll get him to apologize to you Arch.”

“What about you Bets? What about your family?”

“Jughead and the serpents are my family Arch. Mom and Polly know I’m here, dad knows I’m safe here”

“Safe?” Veronica exclaimed “these people are dangerous. Just look at Jughead’s dad”

“Don’t bring FP into this, your dad isn’t a saint either Veronica” Betty bit back

“Listen guys, I didn’t come here to fight” Kevin interrupted “Betty are you happy?” 

She looked at Jughead wearing a big smile and nodded “more than ever”

“In that case” Kevin continued “WE are very happy for you, aren’t we?”

Archie & Veronica looked defeated and nodded before Veronica added looking at Jughead “but if you ever do anything to hurt my girl, you’ll be sorry.”

“Don’t worry” Betty laughed “the serpents would get to him first. they like me better” which made the room laugh.

“What’s with the Cooper-Jones sign?” Archie wondered 

The couple looked between them before Betty pulled out a necklace with a silver ring on it. “Jughead proposed last month”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Should I continue?

UPDATED: (PART 2 HERE) (PART 3 HERE)