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Why That Viral Video of Men Reacting to Street Harassment Isn't Praise-Worthy

Cosmopolitan released a video on Monday featuring men watching and commenting on footage of their girlfriends being catcalled. Like other street harassment videos before it, the 2-minute recording took over social media, receiving praises and coverage from news producers and consumers alike.

Also similar to previous videos, this one fell short. While it’s no doubt that the producers’ intentions weren’t malicious – they wanted to highlight how pervasive (and f**ked up) the everyday whistles, taunting and stalking women encounter is – was having heterosexual dudes validate our day-to-day experiences really the best way to combat this gendered violence? In other words, should we be criticizing sexism by perpetuating it in another form?

The sexual intimidation straight women meet each time they step out of their homes should not have to be substantiated by their male companions. Her voice, alone, should be enough for her partner, and the rest of society, to take her experiences and frustrations as valid.

We’re ready for a street harassment video without paternalism, where women – including bisexual, lesbian, queer and trans women, because this is far from just a straight women’s issue – don’t need men to ensure that our daily harassment is believed.

Also, it would be great to have a video that didn’t overwhelmingly depict men of color as the perpetrators, because, news flash: white dudes aren’t santos and do hiss, jeer, harass, touch and stalk women as well.

People are angrier at the guy who killed Cecil the Lion more than they are Dick Cheney. Seriously. I would rather not think about people who are more pissed about one dead lion than one million dead Iraqi civilians. To tell you the truth,  you people are a big part of the problem. Please don’t give me that “Well, people can care abut two things at once” thing. Yes, true. And I am mad about both. But answer this: What do Americans care about WAY more? What are they kicking up a fuss about? And what does that say? Let’s be real: for some, PoC will always be second place to animals. The inhumanity is stunning.

// You Are Not the Sun.

You’re not too good for me.

You’re not
too good
for me.

I used to swear you were,
tight roping between pride and anxiety,
showing off pictures.
—Yes, this is my girl!
But in the back of my mind I knew that
one day, you would wake up.

We are not the same.
You stub out cigarettes on your bare stomach
and think no one notices the scars,
and I lose my footing between shots of jack
and bury my fist in the wall.

I’ve met your friends.
We ate midnight dinners and laughed our way
through stupid movies
while you rested your head on my lower back;
your hair smelled like summer that night.
Your hair smelled like summer that night.
Your hair smelled like summer,
and I told myself you were the sun.

I don’t remember
when I realized
that you are not the sun,
but I’d already revolved all my planets around you.
One morning I woke up,
and your hair smelled like shampoo.
Your chin dug too sharply into my shoulders. One morning
I realized
that you had stopped giving off heat.

We became just another story.
I could reduce our relationship to five funny anecdotes,
starting with You’ll never believe the time that…
and Once, I dated a girl who…
It all ended so fast.
In retrospect, it didn’t end fast enough.

I don’t remember when I realized
that you are not the sun.
But one cloudy day I rolled over,
searching for light,
and all I found were your eyes closed against my pillow.

I like it better this way.

themiddlechild asked:

Feel free to point me to a tag or ignore me. If u describe urself as a lesbian and a "daughter" of zami (which may be something from the book. I've never read it but I should) why do you appreciate being called "handsome"? Always interested in pov's

The question you are trying to ask here is:

“Why would a self-identifying Black, lesbian, woman prefer to be seen and affirmed as masculine or use masculine terms?” (”Handsome” being an example)

The answer is simple:
My masculinity is not in opposition to my womanhood.
My masculinity is not a threat to my feminism.
And I am a damn good looking masculine-presenting woman.


There are many examples of Black women who were radically and defiantly masculine and I am a product of this Black Feminist Legacy:

I am female Pharaoh Hatshepsut,
I am West African, Yoruba Goddess, Oya who wore men’s clothing into battle,
I am Warrior Queen Nzinga who preferred to be called King and defended her people against the Portuguese enslavers,
I am the Warrior Women of Dahomey,
I am General Harriet Tubman with her gun,
I am anti-lynching crusader Ida B. Wells,
I am Ma’ Rainey and Gladys Bently, moaning out the blues in their men’s suits and top hats,
I am Black, lesbian poet, Pat Parker, standing in her Brave butchness,
I am revolutionary Elaine Brown, chairman of the Black Panther Party,
I am Lelia Ali in the ring,
I am Venus and Serena on the Court,
I am Cleo ready to SET IT OFF

anonymous asked:

Are there any ANY one shots with a female POC ofc?

Hello, Nonny! We have several stories with POC female characters. Our authors get more and more diverse each day, and so do the characters they write.

Unfortunately, most of those fics seem to be multi chapters… but there are also a few one-shots here and there.

Here is a case where our tag system can be useful: if you search the tag ‘POC’, it will take you to a long list of posts featuring women of color.

http://thfrustration.tumblr.com/tagged/poc

Also, I’m sure our followers can give you a little help with your search: dear readers, what one-shots starring Tom and a woman of color are your favorites? Which ones from our archives would you recommend to this Nonny? Give a fellow reader a hand, and promote your favorite stories!

throwing shade

I can’t with some older vatos who talk to me about women. Some of the worst aspects of Mexican men emerge during such conversations. One of the earliest was when I was a boy, this relative used to tell me to “marry a white skin woman”. Even before I knew about colorism, that sounded questionable, so I’d ask why, and he would say “because they are the most beautiful”. Colonization in full effect…

I’m a little enchilado right now, so I might be throwing more shade on pendejadas vatos say. No se, maybe…