okay so i tried my hand at writing for the first time in Years and idk if it’s any good?? idk its just Neil being introspective more that anything, mostly about andrew,, idk,, pls be nice to me it been so long since ive written
In his 19 years of life Neil Josten had concerned himself with one thing: survival. He knew the concept like he knew every ugly blemish that marred his torso, like he knew the insistent need to get out of there perpetually lodged in his throat, like he knew the feel of cold steel against warm flesh again again again. That is to say he knew what it meant to survive intimately so. Neil knew how to shoot a man to make him bleed out without fatality and he knew how to kill a man without leaving a trace. The snik of a lock successfully picked, the consuming smoke and fire in his lungs, in his throat, on his tongue, the ricochet of a bullet and the resounding finality of the resultant echo were all sensations Neil had familiarised himself with over the years. Fear was something that had woven itself between Neil’s fingertips, burned behind eyes and weighted down his tongue. Intimacy meant feeling his mother’s heartbeat roaring in his ears on those nights it was too close, it was the back of his mother’s hand and the side of his face when he looked too long, it was Lola’s breath on his neck, hot and heavy.
one of the things i love most about 21 chump street is the evolution of Anthony singing “light-skinnded, Puerto Rican, long hair, mature in the body, like woah” because at the beginning of the musical it’s so eager and hopeful and goofy and you can tell how infatuated and loony he is for her!! but after she betrays him and everything goes to dust and he sings it again his voice is DEVOID of hope and he sounds so defeated and crushed and he knows what he’s done wrong and his tone is so mournful.. like damn. talk about character development in sixteen minutes
im just so thankful for Connor Kenway. I’m so thankful for the character we got and the character we didn’t get. I’m thankful he wasn’t a smooth talking ladies man. I’m thankful he wasn’t a racist stereotype. I’m thankful he wasn’t an angsty anti-hero. I’m thankful that there was inner turmoil over where he belonged because of his white father and native mother, but that it never turned into a pity party or took all the focus of the story. I’m thankful that he’s very unlike any male action hero I’ve ever come across. I thankful for his costume. I’m thankful for his desire to help, sometimes almost stumbling into situations because he just wanted to lend a hand. I’m grateful he never let people push him around. I’m thankful for his hair. I’m grateful for how deeply he loved his mother and that we got to see that her death wasn’t just glanced over - even though he was so young, we see it still affecting him well into his adult life. I’m grateful for his relationship with his father and how, despite Connor being such a selfless character, he messed up big time because of his selfish want to sway his father to the good cause. Im grateful for how well he fit into the community he created at Davenport. I’m thankful for his real name - Ratonhnhaké:ton, what a beautiful, musical word with such foreboding meaning. I’m thankful for the rocky an yet devoted teacher-student-father-son relationship he had with Achilles. I’m thankful that we got to see him as a kid. As a rebellious teenager. I’m thankful for his snark that was always there but never overdone or used unnecessarily or with cruel intention. I’m thankful that he was so humble and yet sometimes beyond cocky. I’m grateful that he took no shit from anyone. I’m thankful for his slightly awkward english because it wasn’t his first language. I’m thankful for the fact that he has extremely neat handwriting despite his big, warrior hands. I’m thankful for the fact that when he fights, it’s with such power and anger it’s almost ruthless. I’m thankful that, despite being a huge mountain of a man, he never seems threatening unless he knows you’re an enemy. I’m thankful that he was always respectful towards the women he knew, and treated them as equals.
I know Ubisoft has done next to nothing good for this character since his game was released, but I still want to say that I’m thankful that they created him to begin with. We aren’t getting a sequel, but we got a long, heartbreaking, beautiful game to being with. And I’m grateful.
hi tumblr, it’s been a while since i last talked about this. just over 5 years. I honestly can’t believe it’s been that long, woah. I wrote a blog post in 2011 about being transgender but wasn’t in that great of a place. My world was still really dark. I ended up deleting the post shortly after publishing it. Compared to the unbelievable amount of acceptance and support there is today, many people weren’t accepting and I couldn’t deal with even more people telling me I’m not who I say I am on top of the very little support in my immediate life. As of right now though, I can confidently say I’m waaay way way happier than I ever was back then and have made a full FTM coming out video and discussed a couple things regarding my journey to transitioning with Hormone Replacement Therapy in the near future. I’m also working on a project I hope will help other trans people like myself which I will share with you in the coming months :) I just want to make a difference. I felt so alone growing up and with how much the internet has grown since I was a fetus baby Jey Wale, I hope to reach other beautiful humans and give them the love and support they deserve for being exactly who they are, just the way they are. Thanks for always being here for me, it means the absolute world. Stay positive, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you.
on a related note, might i ask, what is some of your fave queer literature?
I’m relatively new to queer literature, so i’ve mostly read newer stuff but i’ve had great findings so far! I read mostly YA and new adult fiction. Last year, i’ve read the Captive Prince series by C.S Pacat and absolutely loved it. The All for the Game triology by Nora Sakavic was also brilliant and stayed with me for a long, long time. E.M Lindsey is both a friend and a fantastic author, and her work has never failed to touch my heart and drown me in emotions. I’ve read and loved Verismo, Absolution and Endless Forever by her immensely! The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller was definitely one of my favorites as well. Gone, Gone, Gone by Hannah Moskowitz was also a really emotional novel that’s made me think about my emotions along the way, i definitely want to read more of her stuff. I’ve really enjoyed the In Focus series by Megan Erickson, i’ve read Trust the Focus, Focus on Me and Out of Frame, and i’ve the fourth of the series, Overexposed, on my downloaded and waiting to be read. Megan Erickson also wrote a series with Santino Hassel called Cyberlove, i loved the use of modern elements like social media in it, the series definitely had more emotions than i’d previously expected! Strong Signal and Fast Connection were definitely great reads, i’ve also heard that a third installment for series called Hardwired is on the way this month! That’s absolutely on my to read list. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz was absolutely a treasure, i can name very few authors that could captivate me that much with their words! I’ve also really enjoyed Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, it was really fun and lighthearted! Some other stuff on my to read list are I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson, One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva, Openly Straight and Honestly Ben (coming this march!) by Bill Konigsberg, Glitter on the Garland by @julietsemophase, Everything Leads to You by Nina Lacour,
Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan, Colorblind by Siera Maley,
You Know Me Well by Nina LaCour and David Levithan, Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden, We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson, Hero by Perry Moore and many, many, many others! I’ve started reading queer lit last year so i’ve *a lot* to catch up on, but i’m slowly making my way through. :) This isn’t even delving into the classics and earlier stuff. I also insist on not reading queer tragedy, so that narrows my reading pool a bit.
ETA: I forgot to say this, if you have any recommendations to me i’m definitely all ears, please send them my way!
Something I really love from Haikyuu is the amount of small details in the animation that weren’t really that necessary. Details that probably don’t even appear in the manga at all. The small gestures, both in the faces and the bodies of the characters. Small actions that add nothing to the plot but that add an interesting layer to the animation and the story.
I mean things like this:
There really was no reason to animate the gets his bag with such beauty and fluidity, but it is there and it’s gorgeous.
Just an example of the many scenes I’ve seen in which, when a character in front is doing something, there are also characters in the background actually moving and doing stuff. Here it is a meaningful action (although it could have been skipped) but many times I find characters in the background moving when there is no real need to animate them.
Haikyuu is full of these moments and as a person who had always watched rather low quality anime in the past, finding this treasure makes me feel so grateful. I could find many more examples, but I’m sure you get the point.