Unnoticed Travel

A well-trodden path,

The past, present, future,

Line by linear contrasts,

In the smoothed silence of ochre.

Now cars ridden, 

With a noisy bumping drone.

And the cyclists higher tone.

Echoes of before,

In the uneven foot fall,

Of office workers hidden,

From the past. 

- Lisa Lopresti

I saw you again today after a long, long time. Even though the time and situation was different now, a lot worse, but still somehow looking in your eyes made my heart beat a little louder, a little faster and even a little bit merrier. After all this time, just the same as before.

Heartfelt Notions

I found a silence in the mountains
that spoke volumes to my soul
and words
I’d never been able to say out loud.
—  Frankie Ryott, deardeceiver.

there’s this false idea that
love knocks the wind out of you at first glance,
no, darling, that was your beauty 
that was the power you wielded in your eyes

because it took me longer to truly become locked onto your orbit
for me to realize that you were what I’ve been searching for all my days
because you bring peace to the war brewing inside me with a touch
yet you ignited a fire burning within me with the sound of my name

though it took minutes to admire you
it took what looking back seems like centuries to fall in love with you
because falling off that cliff’s edge, you wrapped in my arms
could have been the end of something but instead it was the start

and we’ve been bruised and broken, hurt and haunted
but after every terrible thing, I know I’ll always have you
because you grab me by the hand and we’ll fight off the monsters
together, like all the stories the writers wish they could create

—  We’re Those, Only Better by Abby S

Let’s have a friendship so deep that people call it love.

Let’s have a bond so pure that even angels descend to bless.

Let’s have a connection so unbreakable that every hurdle cowers away.

Let’s have a relation so true that there’s no room for any misunderstanding. 

Let’s begin soon so that we can beat the treacherous time too.


Heartfelt Notions

Keep on Living

It’s not easy to write when you have a depression.

It’s tremendously difficult to write anyting smart, brilliant and funny when you’re clinically depressed for a long time.

It’s like sharing your body with different personalities, one of which just wants some warmth and love while the other one wants to obliterate you.

It’s like running your heart out but never being able to reach your destination,

Never being able to move even an inch.

Having depression is like both feeling imprisoned in your body, and yet not even feeling that you exist for real or that you’re visible.

It’s having good days, when you’re laughing with your friends and feel almost happy.

It’s this dull pain, disappointment, saddness and fiery aching when those good days end, and you’re left alone in the ocean of pain with your dark thoughts.

It’s feeling almost normal and enjoying small things in life for some time,

Untill you feel hopeless and completely useless and not deserving to live.

It’s making a happy face for people around you and pretending you’re okay,

While on the inside you’re screaming in hysteria.

It’s trying to stay strong for your parents and dearest ones, not to disappoint them, not to show them the seriousness of your condition,

While thinking and trying to logically plan when you should finally put an end to all of this.

It’s not your demons whom you have to fight when you have a depression.

It’s looking in the mirrow just to understand that you yourself are your biggest enemy.

It’s fighting with yourself deep in the sombre dungeons of your brain all over again, day by day, without holidays or weekends.

It’s still having strength not to lose it all and not to blend into nothingness.

It’s having courage to look yourself in the eyes and keep on fighting.

It’s still having the nerve

To keep on 


© illirein 2017

I am not heartless. I do have a heart. A cold heart, frozen numb to the core. And guess what? No amount of love and affection can ever be enough to thaw it.

Heartfelt Notions

Ask me. Ask me to trace my finger across time & tell you when I fell in love with you & I couldn’t do. It’s not a point I can plot on a line & calculate the distance from when I didn’t love you to when my heart said “Hi.” But ask me. Ask me to pinpoint each fraction of a second when my heart sighs in relief at having fallen deeper in love- & I can. Ask me to draw on paper each moment when my soul smiles because it found its match & my hands will make masterpieces even though you & I both know I can barely draw more than stick figures & hearts. So ask me.

you aren’t going back there alone
because I know that I can’t lose you
for if I did, I’d lose the part of me that is finally healing

and I believe in you, I trust you
and that took time and faith and you have earned it
you have somehow come to hold a piece of my soul

through the dangers this universe forces us to face
I know that I can get through it all 
as long as you are standing right next to me

you have become my shelter, my fire in the coldest night
and I’ll give up everything for the chance to be yours

—  Unfinished Stories #105 by Abby S