One of the most important things I’ve ever learned is that life goes on. People leave, relationships change, and things you loved become less fun. Parties end, seasons end, lives end. But good things happen too. It’s give and take, we lose and gain, things change for better and worse. We just have to accept and trust in that.
no one can know about this relapse - you see, i’m supposed to be pulling myself up by my bootstraps - this is harder than i thought it would be. my brain is the city that never sleeps yet my eyes have lost their light - i pray i don’t have to answer for this in the afterlife because i can’t even handle being in the limelight.
smspoetry (honest thoughts about 24,236 people following my writing)
Be aware that what you think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel. See the link between your thinking and your emotions. Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.
I’m all about self care- completely- but for some people that means chamomile tea and a bubble bath and going to bed at 9pm and for other people that means staying out until 2am on a Tuesday with people they haven’t seen in a while and laughing until their stomach hurts. And it’s not your place to decide what’s better for someone.
i take hair ties off of my wrist before i weigh myself - nature or nurture? i wonder how many calories are in toothpaste and i only feel beautiful when my stomach growls. there’s a zoo in my belly and everyone just marvels at my self control - ignoring the captivity. you see, as a young girl, the women in my family would oftentimes tell me that they wished to be my size. forgetting that, one day, i would grow up to be theirs. what a catastrophic family tradition. i drink diet coke and smoke cigarettes for dinner. i make the meals i do eat like a mad scientist - measuring everything that dares to enter this body. but, i don’t look sick.. you can’t quite see my bones and i’d like to think that means i have it under control. you see, i’m just on a “diet” i’m just “intermittent fasting” i just “want my clothes to fit better” i’m just in the “beginning stages.” i promise, if i just lose 30 more pounds, i’ll stop. i’m not shrinking - i’m being molded - i am a sculpture made from countless creators so blame them if you don’t like the art.
“she wants to travel. she wants to go to different countries, and meet different people. she wants to fall asleep to the sunset in a different place. she wants to get confused. it doesn’t bother her that she doesn’t know the language. she doesn’t care that no one knows her name. that’s the whole point, actually. she wants to escape. she needs to.”