So, so excited to finally be able to announce that the first chapter of the novel I am working on was a finalist in the Writers’ League of Texas Manuscript Contest. While it is run by the WLT it is a national contest that anyone can enter, and I came in the top five of the Sci Fi/Fantasy category. I also received a critique by a professional editor, which included great comments like I have “an engaging voice with a lot of humor” and a “cool and unique” premise that “should get [me] reads from agents and editors.”
I’ve known for over a week, but we weren’t allowed to say anything until today. This is like giving birth to a well-behaved and adorable baby. It is up there in the best things to ever happen to me. So happy!
So I’ve posted a couple things saying that I do ship Hedwig and Tommy Gnosis…that is if they are two different people. I’ve seen the bootleg with Andrew Rannells about 7 times now lol and I saw him live in the musical last September! And today I just watched the original movie the first time and I’ve been thinking more about Hedwig and Tommy…my opinions continue to change. Theories think that the two are are the same person. That since Hedwig was forced into sex operation, he didn’t necessarily want to be female…that there is part of him that is still male. Tommy Gnosis. Tommy Gnosis is perhaps the male side of Hedwig who was created to fulfill the “origin of love” belief. Tommy was supposed to be Hedwig’s other half. And at the end, Hedwig learns to accept that she is enough. She can be both masculine and feminine…hence in WLT(reprise) when “Tommy” sings “more than a woman or a man”. Because Hedwig can be both. WLT(reprise) is what always stumped me. At the end of Exquisite Corpse we see Hedwig rip off her wig and then suddenly it’s Tommy Gnosis on stage. Well that’s what it seemed to me at first. That Tommy was his own person…but then Midnight Radio. We realize that it’s Hedwig who is singing because she lets Yitzhak become Crystal and gives him chance to be the star he wanted to be. Although still dressed as Gnosis we have to assume that it’s Hedwig because Tommy and Yitzhak never cross paths. But now looking back at it, my opinions have changed on WLT (reprise) at first I thought it was a dedication to Hedwig out of love. But perhaps the clarity Tommy sings about in WLT(reprise) is just Hedwig realizing that she is enough. “And now I understand how much I took from you.” And “there’s nothing you can find that cannot be found”.
My mind is all over the place. Part of me believes that Tommy was completely real. They learned so much from each other and were in love. Don’t mistake my shipping them as saying that Hedwig wasn’t complete until she met Tommy. That Hedwig NEEDS another person to be whole…she doesn’t but as she says about love bring immortal “Perhaps it’s because love creates something that wasn’t there before”. Perhaps their relationship was real and WLT(reprise) was Tommy’s way of thanking Hedwig for everything.
Although my mind now leads toward the possibility that Tommy was created by Hedwig. It makes more sense when you look at the musical and the movie. Specifically the musical though. Hedwig plays tommy gnosis! And in Exquisite Corpse, she distinctly rips the wig off and becomes tommy.And then WLT (reprise) is the clarity that Hedwig is whole.
So last night i got to see Darren as Hedwig for the 2nd time, I also saw opening night. I’m going to put most of this under the cut( no spoilers visible!), but a few things to mention first:
1. I’m a queer trans man. I’ve adored hedwig for almost a decade, and it’s influenced my life in so many important ways. I’ve been a fan of Darren going on 7 years, the same can be said for him.
2. My seat last night was AA108( if you don’t know what that means, it’s covered in the spoilery section). For the record: I did not specifically try to get this seat. I specifically tried to get front row, and this happened to be the one that was open on a night I could go.
3. If I had to explain Hedwig in one sentence it would be this: An exploration of the intersection of power, gender/sexuality,agency; and there effect on the cycle of abuse.
Despite Darren’s claims on twitter that he may have eaten too much earlier there was no sign of any sluggishness tonight.
The crowd was mixed tonight, but very receptive and Darren was on fire - deservedly receiving a standing O.
Tonight I was third row centre. This is a magical spot, that not only provided abundant leg room, but was also level with Hedwig’s mic centre stage so Darren was right in front of me. This was different to Tues when I was basically James Franco at the back…… Tonight the show kicked off with energy from the start and didn’t let up. There were no hiccups with this performance.
Sitting close is a different experience. You pick up on the subtleties of the dynamics between Yitzhak and Hedwig, it becomes clear just how Yitzhak helps with the technicalities of the performance and the tender and spiteful moments between them are more intense. Especially when Yitzhak spits at Hedwig after a tender moment following the long grift.
The whole scene with Tommy and Hedwig leading up to and including the long grift was intensely moving. Hedwig so wants acceptance (to feel whole) and Tommy’s rejection of her is devastating. Again the absolute silence from audience (even from the guy next to me, who I would say was tonight’s biggest heckler) shows how involved the audience was with her storstory.
This Hedwig is sassy, angry and masculine and her physical presence dominates the stage to the point I almost forgot about the band until Hedwig acknowledged them. That’s how much focus she pulls.
Sugar daddy was wonderfully rowdy and great to see up close, but the chairs aren’t really suitable for climbing so Darren gripped the guy’s head to help his balance again.
There was no applause following the WLT reprise tonight and the change back to Hedwig seemed to take longer than it did on Tuesday, but again no-one uttered a word, Darren is pretty much in charge of the audience by now.
I loved Midnight Radio and to me it seems that once Hedwig found that self acceptance she also allows that softer, dare I say feminine side to appear. I have always seen the dancing here as Hedwig finally rejoicing in the feeling of just being.
Darren’s voice is so good live, there wasn’t a single note he missed. Was I aware I was watching Darren? Yes, more so tonight as I was up close, but I did begin to forget, but as the show goes on the eyebrows begin to make a reappearance and obviously by the end - we are all aware its him.
I could go on…… Lena requires a separate post of her own. If you go to see this please buy the best seats you can afford because as good as this show is it hits another level close up.
PS. Mason confirmed that it will be going to the West End soon . I know there’s not been much said about that recently.