You have been assigned the class of:
The three sections of your skill tree are:
- Contract Law Enforcement
- Invoke Pa Troll
- Toadstool Pigeon Network
Enjoy your new life of DOLING OUT IRONIC (BUT NEVER IRONIC) PUNISHMENTS
Your quest, left on your desk by the Chief Inspector:
- Obtain the Very Illegal Staff of Writing
The Fae language is a closely guarded secret, shared only with the most trustworthy druids and rangers. It can bend the world to its will in ways that many wizards and warlocks can only dream of; in the hands of someone sufficiently magical and sufficiently motivated, it could wreak havoc on the entire world, upending everything from social orders to mountains.
Now, someone has created an implement that allows anyone to translate to your tongue in an instant, removing both time investment and trust from the equation. Will its wielder use it for good or for ill? Not your concern - your concerns are largely peace and paycheck. Bring it back so it can’t cause any trouble, and so the department’s Detectives can track down the creator.
Your quest, should you choose to accept it:
- Save the Abbreviation Fairies of the Lawful Camp from an encroaching band of Gluttony Demons: Often, demons and the fair folk maintain relatively pleasant relations - when your polite company is largely limited to warlocks, there’s not much other option. Unfortunately, more… culinarily-inclined Netherworlders have always found your kind to be less sweet and more savory. The guard posted at the Lawful Camp has kept the raiders at bay for a while, but now you need their truncatory expertise to limit the power of the staff when you confront its wielder, and they have no manpower to spare. Take care of their problem, and they can help take care of yours.
- Locate and Open the Keep of Armadillos: The trail leading to the staff goes cold in the middle of the Tattoo Desert, where the roads shift in color and shape with the wind - already, some of the designs have been replaced by poorly-translated and perpetually-crackling Fae script. Few enter the desert for any reason other than artistic inspiration - but it is said, nestled somewhere in between the mountains on the far edge, there is a massive gray boulder which unfurls to reveal a small fortress. Lead your troops there, and get inside by any means necessary.
- Retrieve the Very Illegal Staff of Writing from the Desert Wizard: Wizards are not to be trifled with on an off-day; when one has an immensely powerful artifact in hand, it means certain death for (relatively) ordinary people. There are enough of you to overcome the Wizard’s wiles, and the aid of the Abbreviation Fairies should throw him off balance, but you must prepare yourself for a brutal and drawn-out battle. Heat, cold, thirst, hunger, and your very own words shall be the mage’s weapons; you can only hope that your bronze and brass spears will be enough.