wives-&-daughters

This is really cool.

An onna-bugeisha (女武芸者) was a type of female warrior belonging to the Japanese upper class. Many wives, widows, daughters, and rebels answered the call of duty by engaging in battle, commonly alongside samurai men. They were members of the bushi (samurai) class in feudal Japan and were trained in the use of weapons to protect their household, family, and honour in times of war. They also represented a divergence from the traditional ‘housewife’ role of the Japanese woman. They are sometimes referred to as female samurai. Significant icons such as Empress Jingu, Tomoe Gozen, Nakano Takeko, and Hōjō Masako are famous examples of onna bugeisha. (x)

PLEASE READ THIS AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life.

2

Texas family broadcasts ICE arrest on Facebook: “You Trump supporters happy?”

  • On Tuesday, Texas resident Robert Espino broadcast on Facebook as U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, together with the DeSoto Police Department, arrested his brother and his brother-in-law.
  • Mundo Hispánico identified the two people arrested as Eduardo Díaz and Marín Márquez.
  • “My brother and brother-in-law were cuffed and taken away from their families,” Espino wrote. "They are not drug dealers, rapists, thieves, not even a traffic ticket. They leave behind wives, sons and daughters. This [is] what Donald J. Trump supporters wanted — to see families torn apart because of where you’re born.“ Read more.

Don’t u hate that brown boys act like desi aunties are the worst thing to happen to this world and ur just sitting there thinking bout all the desi uncles you see first hand abuse their wives, stop their daughters from getting an education, blackmail them into marriage, victim blame women who are assaulted, even discourage women from attending mosque and basically benefit from internalised misogyny and misogyny in general.

We are all alone.
This is not depressing
when you realise it’s the truth.
We are born alone, we die alone.
Along the way, perhaps we meet.
Friends, lovers, strangers.
Husbands, wives, sons, daughters.
The roles can separate us as much as they can bind us.
We long for connection, yet we fear intimacy.
We seek contact, but we want to be safe.
We push others away by trying to hold onto them.
We hide our truth out of fear of loss.
Yet we lose each other in the hiding.
We seek solid ground, yet we know that it’s all groundless.
We plan futures yet we know they are mere daydreams.
We long to be free yet we flee the terror of our freedom, seeking comfort and answers.
Our comfort soon turns to boredom.
Our boredom to resentment.
We suffer until we learn to love ourselves as we are.
We seek love until we know it in the silence.
And let the questions burn.
And sacrifice tomorrows for todays.
— 

Jeff Foster

THE DANCE OF ALONENESS

7

This is the “Women March against repression” in my country(Venezuela)
We are marching for our rights,for our freedom of choice and speech.
We want our constitution be respect.
We march because we are tired of this communist regimen.
We march because we are tired of being humiliated for a bag of food(when you can find food).
Because in order to buy contraceptives or treatments for cancer you have to look for them on the black market.(Well any medicine,because the most basic medicine is really hard to find).
We march because we do not have security(Look at the murder rate of Venezuela).
We march for all those heroes(female and male)that this regime has murdered.(Look at the recent news about Venezuela).
Today we are grandmothers, sisters, daughters, granddaughters, wives, mothers, housewives, professionals, united against oppression.
This is how true feminism looks like.

Anonymous asked: can you explain in detail why minorities living in impoverished areas is a direct result of racism?

Native americans, first nations, and generally the first people to actually live in an area live in poverty as a direct result of imperialism, dehumanization, white supremacy and genocide, you should know this. 

Lets learn about the word: Redlining.

So redlining is this thing for white people that the government, in the United States, totally endorsed, super well documented.

Why is redlining beneficial for the rich white supremacists? 

Redlining in its strictly definitional sense, is the “arbitrarily” randomly out of the blue just denying people of basic services, loans, jobs, homes, etc. because the person doing the denying just felt like it. Now this “arbitrary” little act started to “arbitrarily”  attack people of color.

Now in the 1930s there were these super cool New Deal FDR home act bullshit. Where veterans coming home from WWII, and people in general could get super cool loans to buy these sweet new houses in the fancy suburbs. Houses that they wouldn’t have dreamed to be able to afford without these cheap-ass home loans the bank was just dealing out.

Now it’s a little known fact, that FDR is a huge racist. So what did FDR do about this hate?

People set up these racist-ass maps of areas people lived in. They were literally color-coded, “people of color” areas got redlined, meaning banks wouldn’t give people from those areas these sweet-ass new cheap home-loans saving all those poor white people who didn’t live in the designated poc areas struggle and hardship. How did the white people get the loans? Well they lived in green-lined areas, the white areas.

Now who was the mastermind behind these maps and how was FDR involved? 

Home Owners’ Loan Corporation or (HOLC) for convenience–cause I don’t want to type out their shitty ass name. HOLC created this racist ass map, because they were huge racists. And because they had loan giving powers, they pretty much got to decide who lived where. 

Now banks and insurers adopted this sweet redlining policy, because they all hated people of color and to a lesser extent poor people as well. 

Then in like 1934 the Federal Housing Administration decided they, too, would adopt that racist ass map, deciding who got a loan, and who got to live in the shittiest areas possible.

Now, you can say that “maybe the white areas were just more affluent and it totally had nothing to do with race.” [ignoring why white people would be wealthier … in the first place is fucking willfully ignorant] but you’d be completely fucking wrong.

Cause remember, this is during the fucking GREAT DEPRESSION, the big one that was from like 1929 to 1939 fucking ten years of depression. Not to mention shittons of peoples husbands and sons and wives and daughters were dying in wars. So the majority of people were fucked. Just straight up fucked. They weren’t rich, the only thing those fuckers had going for themselves was that they were white enough to get home-loans to move to areas with good white people jobs.

Everyone else got stuck in depression-like conditions …. to this day. Because no one, the government and people who fucking could, wanted to improve the already existing neighborhoods and houses–no it was all: BUILD NEW HOMES, LET WHITE PEOPLE LIVE THERE, MAKE HOMES EXPENSIVE, ONE NEEDS A LOAN FOR THE HOME, ONLY WHITE PEOPLE CAN GET THE LOANS… and thus the great communities for white people.

So people could be white supremacists and deny anyone living in the redlined [non-white] areas loans, jobs, services, rates, anything really, and it was COMPLETELY FUCKING LEGAL, even the government used the white supremacist maps.

So what have we learned today:
a.k.a. TL;DR
1) Racist maps were created by HOLC
2) FDR and Friends thought racism was a good idea and accepted the racist maps as god
3) Shittons of expensive new homes were created during the depression
4) In order to live in the new homes one needed a loan
5) In order to get a loan you had to live in the white area of the racist map
6) White people got home loans and created white paradise for them and their white supremacist families
7) People of color were denied jobs, loans, education, anything because of where they lived, it had nothing to do with the wealth of the community

Our names are Mr. Gene C. Hunt and Lady Alexandra Drake. We were shot (both of us, again! can you believe it?) and woke up in 1841. Are we mad, back in time or in an Elizabeth Gaskell novel? Either way, we’re pretty sure we’ve found the person we were always meant to be with. So we’re bloody-well sticking around this time.

  • Taiyang: HAHA, oh man, Qrow, I can't believe I got you to wear a skirt.
  • Qrow: It's not funny, guys.
  • Taiyang: THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE! PRICELESS.
  • Qrow: I'm gonna get you for this one day.
  • Taiyang: And how are you going to do that?
  • ------Many years later-------
  • Taiyang: *Alone, lost 2 wives and 1.2 daughters, has crippling depression*
  • Qrow: My semblance fucking rules.

To the women. To the mentally disabled women. To the mentally ill women. To the physically disabled women. To the physically ill women. To the women from every background. To the women of every ethnicity. To the women of every skin tone. To the women of every sexual and romantic orientation. To the trans women. To women in every place on the gender spectrum. To the women of every religion. To the women of every interest. To the mothers, wives, sisters, daughters. To the happily single women. To the women who face every day with a battle cry. To the women who do what they can in their own small way. To the women who are their own radiant selves. To the women who religiously wear makup. To the women who have never touched it. To the women who grew up with fathers and brothers who belittled them. To the women who have been harassed. To the women who have been raped. To the women who never got justice. To all the women.

Today is the day we remind the world we have not and will not back down. Today we remind the world that a women belongs in every place on this world. Today we remind the world that we are here to fight for our rights. Today we strap on our armor and keep. On. Fighting. The fighters who can rally and protest loudly to the world. The fighters who can know quietly in their heart that they deserve more than the treatment they’re getting. We fight together.

To the women. To the women. To the women.

WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or
a loved one’s life.

IGN: There was a Star Wars book called Catalyst that explored the Galen/Krennic backstory. Did you read the book and would you like the opportunity to maybe ever depict some of that? Or Galen’s years with the Empire?

Mikkelsen: I think it’s a very interesting and valid point. You know, the Star Wars films have always been about dealing with the Rebellion, the people that are fighting the Empire. But it’s actually very interesting to go and see the people who actually are in the Empire, and I’m one of them. And surprisingly enough, the people of the Empire have families, and wives and daughters that they love. You know, they are the other guys we don’t know so much about. And I think it would be interesting to you know, to make a film about the people of the Empire. Who are they, and why? Are they evil? Or do they believe in something greater.

IGN: Well, there is always the chance for Galen to pop up in Rebels at one point, because of the show’s time frame. Would you be interested in that?

Mikkelsen: I’m game for it man, it’d be tricky, but I’d give it a shot.

[http://www.ign.com/articles/2017/02/06/star-wars-mads-mikkelsen-talks-rogue-one-spoilers-reshoots-and-more-galen-erso]

10

1.21.17 women’s march on Austin

Austin, TX showed up today. I saw people of all identities coming together in solidarity, in ways we haven’t seen much of since this divisive election began.

I saw women of all ages. From my 16 year old sister, to babies in “future president” onesies, to elderly women telling me about the marches they walked in the sixties. I saw men supporting wives and daughters and men supporting women as a whole. I saw proud queer people chanting in the streets, I saw banners about birth control and immigration and trans rights and corruption, but most of all I saw Love.

These are some of my favorite shots from today. I only had my phone and it was hectic and there were thousands of people and signs to see, but here’s a glimpse of the support pouring through the streets of the Texas Capital. I plan to compile a vlog of the entire day because it was life-changing and inspiring and I want to share it with you all.

Keep marching, as long as it takes.

anonymous asked:

Hi! You talk quite a bit about adaptations, could you give your thoughts on some adaptations of other classic novels, ones you particularly like or hate?

Well, let me think. I’ll give you the rundown on literary adaptations I like or love, as it’s getting late in the evening here and a bout of solid rage isn’t going to send me off to sleep so much as bring on a bout of indigestion. Also I went to review my DVD collection and for obvious reasons I don’t own many DVDs of things that I loathed. (I do recall nearly bursting into tears after a matinee viewing of I Capture the Castle because I felt the movie ended on such a bittersweet note that I was not prepared to walk out of a darkened cinema into a sunny day with birds singing while I was still Feeling a Lot of Unhappy Things, and so I felt like I hated that movie for a long time because of the sheer mood whiplash of it all. Also I wish I’d read the book first. The book is lovely, and I think I’d’ve stomached the film better, had I gone through the book first.)

Oh! I just remembered The Wings of the Dove (1997). I should have loved it, it had a lot going for it, buuuut fuck that movie and everyone involved in it, it just fell flat, for me. I don’t even care how critically-acclaimed it was, all the characters are The Worst and I never have a moment’s sympathy enough to care what happens to any of them. I hate even thinking about this movie and it is largely responsible for how much I despise Helena Bonham-Carter to this very day. Her and Jeremy Irons (who I admit I have many more personal issues with ‘cause he’s a silver-spoon gross-ass fuckshit.) A movie has got to be pretty damn brilliant on several other points for me to get past the knee-jerk rage I feel whenever either of them appear on-screen.

Also The Portrait of a Lady was terrible and riddled with pointless alterations and please just read The Making of a Marchioness, instead. Maybe I should add Linus Roache to my shitlist as he’s in this one, as well as The Wings of the Dove.

And now for adaptations I liked:

Wives and Daughters (1999) is quite good, in my view, and the ending they added to Gaskell’s unfinished work is quite satisfying, I think. (I don’t know about realistic, but it was sweet and simple and I dug it.)

Orlando (1992) Beautifully done. (Billy Zane! I love him in everything and I literally don’t even know why.)

Little Women (1994) is a classic, but I’m also very excited to see what Heidi Thomas and Vanessa Caswill do with the new miniseries from the BBC and PBS next year.

Daniel Deronda (2002) It’s prettyyyyyy. And so is Jodhi Maaaay. <3 (Also some powerful performances, like, damn.)

Washington Square (1997) has a beautiful soundtrack, solid direction, and a stellar cast.

Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003) had some great cinematography and a good cast.

Dangerous Liasons (1988) I have such mixed feelings about Malkovich in this one but Glenn Close, holy shit she’s good.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) A TRUE CLASSIC LITERARY ADAPTATION I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE. THEN PAY FOR THE RUINED GREEK RESTAURANT.

The Remains of the Day
(1993) A somewhat underrated classic that I think perhaps unfairly sits in the shadow of Howard’s End a lot of the time, what with the comparisons of the Thompson-Hopkins casting in a Merchant-Ivory film. (I do like Howard’s End, but, again, Helena Bonham-Carter, and I just connect a lot more with The Remains of the Day, as a story.)

Wide Sargasso Sea (2006) I don’t recall unabashedly loving this one, but I own it, so I feel like I must’ve liked it well enough. Then again, I also just found a copy of Sweeney Todd still in its plastic-wrap that I don’t know how I came by, I don’t even like the concept enough to want to watch it in the first place. Also, Helena Bonham-Carter is in it. And Johnny Depp. Why the fuck do I even own Sweeney Todd? Anyway, Wide Sargasso Sea is alright, though I feel like I preferred Karina Lombard’s Antoinette to Rebecca Hall’s.

The Scarlet Pimpernel (1982) I’m pretty sure this is where Jane Seymour and Anthony Andrews made me bi and SIR IAN MCKELLEN HOW DO YOU DO?

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006) HOW DO YOU FILM SMELLS? LIKE THIS. MY GOD. (Also please read the book.)

Dracula (1992) I mean, the cast swings between pretty good and absolutely wooden, but from a literary standpoint this is one of the more faithful adaptations of Stoker’s novel out there–though this movie is by no means The Best Anyone Could Do. There’s a lot wrong with it. But then Coppola didn’t need to include the blue fire thing, but he did, and I appreciate that.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) is worth it for Robert de Niro, alone; and maybe a handful of really, really good shots. Otherwise there’s too much Helena Bonham-Carter and also Ken Branagh just recently hauled himself onto my shitlist but GOOD NEWS the character of Victor Frankenstein was always an annoying fucko and that’s canon, so feel free to hate him throughout, anyhow.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1996) Does not get enough love. A good antidote to Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights for anyone who sat there thinking Rochester and Heathcliff were BIG PILES OF RED FLAGS. Wildfell is a cautionary tale, but actually ends reasonably happily (and more believably happily, IMO, than Jane Eyre.)

The Secret Garden (1993) Pure nostalgia for this one, excellent casting, and the same director as Washington Square.

Ivanhoe (1982) Sam Neill has no business making a villain that compelling. (I know, I know, Bois-Gilbert’s characterization is softened a lot in this adaptation.) And this time I’m bi for Neill and Olivia Hussey. Sorry, Anthony Andrews, you drop to second-slot in this love-fest. Also Rowena ruins everything but that’s canon, so what can you do?

Maurice (1987) Who doesn’t love a fluffy gay gamekeeper?

Cousin Bette (1998) Changes stuff from the book, and on the whole the story can be a bit rocky, especially in the second half or so, but it’s worth seeing for Jessica Lange, alone, I think, as well as some broadly comic notes from side-characters in Hugh Laurie and Bob Hoskins.

Possession (2002) Ignore Gwyneth Paltrow as best you can and otherwise enjoy the literary mystery unfolding in between some amazing flashbacks. Most of the good actors are crammed into the flashback bits, but at least there’s some snarky Tom Hollander and dastardly-but-personally-I-think-he’s-in-love-with-Roland Toby Stephens in the modern-day sections to give us some fun.

Twelfth Night (1996) Again, ignoring Helena Bonham-Carter, this one’s got a lot going for it. Trevor Nunn directing, Toby Stephens managing to be damn fine and somehow I don’t entirely mind that Orsino’s kind of a douchebag, Imogen Stubbs being cute as fuck, and stellar supporting actors.

The Inheritance (1997) Look, this is a little-known Louisa May Alcott thing, and I’ll be honest, it’s not Groundbreaking Television. As far as direction and score and acting and script goes, there is no danger of anyone ever losing sight of the fact that it’s a made-for-TV-movie from 1997 and Meredith Baxter was probably the biggest name they could get for it at the time. Anyway, there’s a reason I own it, and that reason is that watching it is the equivalent of a big mug of hot chocolate after a terrible day. It is pretty and sweet and funny and the villains and heroes are clearly marked from the moment they appear on-screen, and is it perhaps a bit too sweet? Yes. Embrace the sugar-shock.

Titus (1999) Goes on a little long, perhaps, but you can’t look away. Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange go toe to toe and it’s a thing of horrific beauty. Shhh don’t question the batshit bloodbath, just let Julie Taymor do her thing.

Enchanted April (1991) Run away to Italy with your girlfriends. Just do it.

The Princess Diaries (2001) A modern masterpiece. GET OFF THE GRASS.

Bleak House (2005) Oh my God, this cast??? Is so magnificent?

Persepolis (2007) One of those films that are so good you need to lie down afterwards. Again, please also read the graphic novels.

Any Agatha Christie adaptation, ever–I am HERE FOR IT.

I know I’m forgetting one I thought of earlier, but oh well.