witnesses jehovah

  • INFJ gets home from school for Christmas, basically the first time she's been home since June. INFJ starts talking with her INTJ brother and they trade their stories.
  • INFJ: Did I tell you why ENTP and I broke up?
  • INTJ: No.
  • INFJ: (tells him the story)
  • INTJ: Where does he go to school again?
  • INTJ: What town is that in?
  • INTJ: Do you still have his address?
  • INFJ: *squints* Maybe??
  • INTJ: Check and see.
  • INTJ: I'm gonna send him Jehovah's Witnesses.

I feel like the Futurama writers should have capitalized on Fry being thrust “a 1000 years into the future” more often. There’s so much comedic potential in it, just imagine.

[when he first arrives in the future] “The year 3000!? …You mean I haven’t bathed in a thousand years? Oh, my God! Where’s the phone book, Ripley’s not gonna believe this!”


“My answer is the same as it was a thousand years ago: No, I do not want to join the Jehovah’s Witness.”


“Haven’t you heard of ‘respect your elders’? I’m a thousand years older then you! If I tell you to order pizza you’re answer should be ‘How high?’”

“Fry, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Hermes. When you’ve lived a thousand years maybe you can decide whether or not my phrases make any sense. Until then-”

And then there are the rebuttals:

“You’re a thousand years old and you still don’t know how to tie your shoes? Really, meatbag?”

“Shut up, Bender.”


[Fry speaks]

“Says the person who hasn’t gotten laid in a thousand years.”

“Shut up, Bender.”


“Yeah, you don’t wanna get with him, lady. He’s a thousand year old senile. The forecast for the weather in his Netherlands is ‘2.3 inches of poor performance, 100% chance of disappointment.’” 

“Shut UP, Bender!”

2017 - To Become an Unbaptised Publisher

6 January, 2017 – Friday

        Well, a lot has been going on in my life over the past few months.  The main thing is that as of two days ago, 4 Jan 17, I am no longer in the military.  I “retired” after 24 year service and now I am unemployed, though not looking for work at the moment.  There are two reasons that I left; to progress onto becoming an unbaptised publisher and because I was just generally fed up with the job (spending 6-9 months away from home with little notice, high stress levels and not really being in charge of my own life).  I enjoyed my time in the military but just felt that now was the time to leave.  I must be honest and say that I don’t think the main reason I left was for Jehovah but that was certainly an influence.  I am now financially stable and probably won’t have to seriously look for work for 6 months or so.

            Anyway, so now I can progress from being a “Bible Student” to being an unbaptised Jehovah’s Witness.  I haven’t told any of the elders at the Kingdom Hall yet, in fact nobody there knew I had submitted my 12 month notice to the military last year. I must admit that I kept it to myself as I was not sure if I would go through with it.  I did winder if I would get “cold feet” during that 12-month notice period and retract the notice.  There were a few occasions when I considered retracting it but on reflection I decided no, this is the right thing to do.  How am I going to allow Jehovah to work in my life if I don’t step out in faith? So, I have told just one member of the congregation, one of the Ministerial Servants, who I get on well with. However, at the last meeting I went to on Sunday I did speak to another of the Ministerial Servants and told him my goal for 2017 was to become an unbaptised publisher.  Of course, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not take part in the pagan custom of making new year resolutions, but if you call it a “goal” then that’s okay. Err… okay, I’ll call it a goal >.<. That brother gave me a little book called Organised to do Jehovah’s Will, which he suggested I read.  It’s an interesting book which seems to discuss the role of Jehovah’s Witnesses today, how to take an active part and how the Watchtower Society is organised. At the back of the book are a series of 103 questions split into three categories which those aiming to be baptised must be able to answer. So, it seems there’s some sort of test you must pass before being baptised.  I know it’s not a written exam but, as I understand it, when you are at the stage where you can qualify for baptism you must go before a body of elders who can ask you any number of those questions in the book, which you must answer correctly.  I guess this is to ensure you now exactly what you are getting yourself into, if I can use that expression.  I am not sure if I must be able to answer any of those questions to qualify as an unbaptised publisher, and neither do I really know what I must do to start the journey to becoming an unbaptised publisher.  I will speak to one of the elders on Sunday and make a formal request to become such.  Hopefully he’ll tell me what is expected of me.  So, that is my goal for 2017.  Hey, perhaps I’ll get to qualify for baptism for the 2017 regional convention in July.

            I think the next six months are going to be a testing time for me.  Not only do I have to adjust to life outside of the military, eventually find a job (once that will also me ample opportunity not only to go out on the ministry, but also to attend regular Kingdom Hall meetings, assemblies and conventions).  I also aim to becoming an unbaptised publisher. Interesting times ahead.  If you are a JW or a Bible Study, then please do pray for me.  Thank you.


"You'll never be happy in 'The World'"

Growing up as a jw you’re told on almost a daily basis that no one that leaves the bOrg will ever truly be happy. It’s total bullshit, and I know that. But honestly, their voices saying those words are just echoing in my head lately. It’s been a struggle getting on my feet since I ran away years ago and although I’ve made a lot of progress and am almost there…things are just really hard right now. So to all of my fellow exjws struggling right now, stay strong. You’re not alone.

Why I'm no longer a Jehovah's Witness.

The reason I’m a atheist isn’t because I don’t like the idea of God. It’s because I’ve studied the bible at great length and have found some fundamental flaws.

1. The Garden of Eden

So in the Garden of Eden, God allowed Adam and Eve to eat from any tree in the garden, except from one. If they ate from that tree, then they would no longer be perfect and would become sinful and die. Eve was deceived by a snake (Satan) and was told if she ate from it she would become like God, knowing good and bad (therefore being able to make a choice between them, which is freewill). So Eve took the fruit to Adam and they ate it. They were cast out of the garden of Eden and lead long lives of suffering because of this.

My problem with this story, is that God is described as a merciful, loving character, that gives people second chances, as long as they have the right heart condition. But why would God put the tree in the garden in the first place? Surely by not allowing them to have access to it, is straight away tempting them to eat from it. If Adam and Eve didn’t eat from it, then surely over time as more people populated the earth, someone would have eaten from it, therefore causing them to be cast out and to be imperfect and to sin and die. So why would a loving God put this temptation there in the first place? Because of one man and womens “sin” the rest of all generations of humans have had to suffer because of this. 

Now by deceiving Eve, Satan was challenging god, saying that he didnt have the right to rule and that humans could rule themselves because now, they know from good and bad. So baring that in mind, is gods right to rule, worth millions upon millions of people suffering and dying? Doesn’t that seem extremely selfish and unloving? Not to forget that it completely contradicts the whole purpose of the bible of God loving us. I don’t want anything to do with a God that would put himself before the suffering of people he claims to love so much.

2. Free will. 

Apparently god gave us free will. But if the first choice, that the first humans had , was to live not knowing good from bad(pretty much like toddlers) or eating from this tree and positivily dying, then its not much of a choice is it? That’s just manipulating the subject into thinking they have free will, but you’re really just choosing for them, or giving them such extreme circumstances that obviously no one is going to take the dying option. That’s so far from free will is disgusting. And it’s the same now. The bible says you have to do x, y and z other wise you’ll die at Armageddon. Some of those things being fornication, adultery, HOMOSEXUALITY ( basically anything that ISNT heterosexual), GETTING DRUNK etc. That’s not giving you a choice. That’s manipulating the believer into doing what you want, out of fear of being killed.

3. Homosexuality

There is no explanation why homosexuality is a sin. None what-so-ever. It JUST IS. That’s not good enough for me. Love is love. Why should it matter what gender you fall in love with and why should the consequence of being something that’s natural to so many people be death? You can’t tell a whole bunch of people that they can’t live forever in paradise because they “commit homosexual acts”. It’s ridiculous. Which leads me to believe that God doesn’t like anything that he didn’t originally purpose, meaning he isn’t open minded to new things. But the bible teaches people they have to change for the better, to Gods “standards”. So God expects us to fully change ourselves but he cant even accept one new thing he didn’t purpose for us.

4. Equality

Women aren’t equal to men in the bible. Ranking order goes: 






So we’re the lowest of the low. But I thought God loves us all the same? Well apparently not. Women are not allowed to teach men! They’re not allowed to be elders or ministerial servants OR EVEN SAY A PRAY OUT LOUD IN THE PRESENCE OF A MAN! Many reasons I’ve heard for not allowing women to be Elders (like priests) in the congregation is because “they’re too emotional and can’t disconnect themselves to judge a situation”. That’s completely sexist and stereotypical and disgusting. Since there’s no proof that God inspired the writers of the bible, they basically thought women are worthless and had to shove it into a religion.

5. Animal rights

The bible says that the wicked people will die at Armageddon and everyone who survives will live on a paradise earth forever. Those already dead will be resurrected (as death acquits you from any sin) Yet animals apparently don’t get a resurrection. This bothers me because animals are the most innocent creatures on this planet and yet under go inhumane suffering all over the world because OF HUMANS. So why do innocent sentient beings not get another chance? The horrible cruel life they have now is all they have according to the bible.

6. Disfellowshipping

When people stop believing or do something wrong, they’re supposed to be excommunicated. Also known as disfellowshipping. This means they cannot have any contact with family or friends within said congregations, UNTIL they come back and rejoin. That my friends is emotional black mail. The only reason people will come back is to be with their family! What loving religion would separate families because one person believes something different. Not loving at all. Now that I’ve met many ex JW’s on this site, I know how traumatic and emotionally abusive this religion is. It turns families against each other and leaves scars that can never be healed.

7. Birthdays

There is no scripture saying you can’t celebrate birthdays. And yet jw’s won’t celebrate them because there were two examples of birthdays in the bible and at both a person was killed. The events that took place on those birthdays were bad, but that doesn’t mean birthdays are bad.They think that funerals are a time to remember a persons life which is true, you mourn and remember. But Why not celebrate the fact a person is alive another year? Where we can still speak to and touch them and be grateful they are still here? I mean we are grateful every single day but what’s wrong with having one special day that we pay extra attention to? Also another reason I heard was that the bible never mentions Jesus celebrating his birthday and we have to follow in his footsteps. God forbid we think for ourselves and do something Jesus hasn’t mentioned before.

If any witness can give me an explanation of these 6 things then maybe I will consider going back, but so far all I have is ”That’s jehovahs way of doing things and since he is perfect he is never wrong” “We all have to make sacrifices” “You’re going to fall away from Jehovah because you’re an animal justice warrior?” “Homosexuality is disgusting and unnatural. ITS A PERVERSION! Two men having sex is the same as having sex with animals” “Jehovah was testing Adam and Eve’s loyalty and now we’re paying the price.”

Incompetent answers for an incompetent book.

Compare the difference when referring to people who want to join Jehovah's Witnesses, with those that leave:

“No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family.” Awake! 2009 Jul p.29
“Do not look for excuses to associate with a disfellowshipped family member, for example, through e-mail.” Watchtower Study Edition 2013 Jan 15 p.16