without-people

Debate without clash

i started to read the fallout again for the fourth time. im ashamed of myself. not because im reading it, but because i took three days to force myself to start reading it because every time i tried my brain said “dont do this. this is going to hurt you and make you cry” but being the idiot i am i thought “fuck you brain” and am now reading it anyways. 

its so beautiful.

things i wish i could say at work tbh:

  • no i wont get off my phone. theres nothing going on and i have a damn moment to check it. im mentally ill and literately need this attention to function, not to mention the friends that actually use the names and pronouns that i cant ask people here to use. 
  • no i cant do that thing you asked me to do, im already doing this other thing and changing things is going to throw off my routine which will cause me a lot of stress.
  • on that note, we either need someone who can clean for me, or someone who can take orders while i clean, because me doing both means getting interrupted regularly and it throws off my routine completely and causes me to panic
  • stop yelling at me every time i make a tiny mistake. i know what i did wrong, you can get your point across without upsetting me. 
  • also dont point out every mistake i make. i probably caught it, especially if its a mistake i dont usually make,
  • i notice when you make fun of my colored hair, my odd quirks, the fact that im polyamorous, the fact that yes, all my current relationships are long distance…i fucking notice it im not clueless i kno w you are almost all making fun of me all the time. 
  • for the love of god stop fucking touching me. 
  • you all give me such bad violent impulses byyyee lol

but nah i cant ge t accommodations for my mental illness bc that would mean proving it and unfortunately i dont have any documentation for obvious reasons. also cant go by my preferred name and pronouns because the world is shit. 

Having films about trans people seems to do nothing in the way of educating people. I’ve listened to cis people give their opinions and thoughts on films featuring trans characters and there is an inevitable common thread of “man dressed as a woman” and vice versa, or “trans people lead tragic lives”, as well as a wild misuse and misunderstanding of basic vocabulary and ideas that make transness something positive that we can talk about.

In the past few years there seems to’ve been a greater presence of trans narratives in films and TV, and while it’s possible this has led to greater knowledge and greater acceptance of trans people, it has done nothing in raising the education or critical deconstruction it takes for many cis people to understand trans lives, and even therefore to understand trans individuals as fully human.

I hate those comics or text posts where there’s a situation where a girl does something sexist to a guy to “prove a point”, and it makes her seem like the better, smarter person.

If the guy themselves have never done anything sexist before, plus if you don’t even know them and still treat them like shit because a totally different guy did something mean to you, then you’re not proving a point to them, you’re just being an asshole.

Don’t catcall a guy or purposely make them uncomfortable for the sake of proving a point when they don’t need a point proven to them. Literally no one with a sensible mind wants to be catcalled or anything of the sort.

And a girl being a jerk to a guy to simply prove a point that doesn’t apply to him, then it isn’t feminism, it’s the girl being an asshole.

you’re absolutely right and i hadn’t thought about it like that before, and i apologize

March Challenge

So I’m going to try a challenge this March.

One simple rule: no watching any TV shows.

Movies, books, video games, music, drawing, writing, chatting, and internet are fine. But no TV shows.

Because I’ve noticed I have a problem, and it’s past the point where it was fine/fun/ok and into something that I’m starting to recognize as a mix between being compulsive and feeding in to my ADHD. 

Movies and books are ok because they require a mental investment in the immediate plot, because whatever is started in them is resolved in them, instead of in 5 to 10 episodes. They’re also somewhat more dense and force me to think (not always, but some; and not that tv shows don’t make you either, but it’s a much longer process a lot generall, like episodes worth). Video games are interactive, plus I rarely feel compulsed to play beyond when I’m done playing, whereas TV always has that “one more episode” push behind it for me. Music is good for me and helps me get in the mood to draw or write, and just surfing the internet by itself doesn’t have the same draw without TV shows to keep me half interested for hours beyond when I’m done.

It’s not forever, and I am certainly NOT judging anyone who spends a lot of time watching TV. We all have our own ways of unwinding and enjoying ourselves, and that’s awesome. But I just want to see how much I can get done if I stop dedicating 75% of my attention every day to TV shows playing in the background while I do almost nothing else either productive or interesting to me. We’ll see how it goes.

Anyone who wants to try it with me, feel free to do so and let me know how it goes :D I’ll be tagging my updates with #marchnoTVchallenge and tracking it just in case.

Wish me luck please. It’s really hard to ignore the allure of netflix infinite streaming @_@

youtube

Do you love 50 Shades of Grey? Do you love yourself? Want to try a makeup look that’ll turn your partner into a quivering mass of raging hormones? Then this makeup tutorial is just for you!

7

it is a testament to the human spirit that link got up and danced after all that.

block "lazarus" because...

tumblr is showing sponsored posts for “the lazarus effect” and the ads i’ve seen include:

  • well its a very fast/jerky g i f for one
  • f l a s h i n g
  • j u m p s c a r e
  • f i r e
  • and hey its a scary movie so if you’re disturbed by that sort of imagery better safe than sorry just block it

Have a Yogscast personality chart, because I have far too much free time!

(Click through for HD :) ) 

please take these all with a pinch of salt i had to fit sixteen different personalities to individual characters so there are certain ones i wouldn’t usually put there

10

TJ Hammond + piano

I have no idea where these hands came from. Not my hands, mine are paws. They’re not your mother’s either. I’m not sure who they belong to. I remember that first year in the White House was the worst year of my life. Everything I always dreamed of, the job I coveted ever since I was a young man—I finally had it—and I was miserable as hell. A fourth of my term had passed and I hadn’t accomplished a single thing I’d set out to do. And I used to walk the halls, and I’d stare up at the faces of my predecessors, and I’d think to myself, “Every one of them is a better man than me.” And then one night, out of the East Room, I hear this most glorious sound. I poked my head in, and there you are, 8 years old, playing some kind of classical piece so effortlessly. You turned around when you heard me, and you let out a crazy laugh, and you went skipping off down the hallway. And after that I used to hide around the corner from the East Room just to listen to you play. Something so simple, but brought me so much peace. And I don’t know why I never told you that. These hands, they’re not my hands, TJ, they’re yours.