without refrigeration

Drown Me In Your Love (Grayson Smut)

Summary: Requested by anon: “Gorgeous human, could you write a storyline where Grayson (please with G) and his girlfriend have an argument, not an angry one but a teary filled one and Grayson approaches her as she’s crying and there’s heavy SMUT involved as they make up, it’s not aggressive but very passionate and intense? I just heard the song ‘Too Deep’ by Ritual and Delilah and its got me feeling all kind of things and just need to read something you write based on this song, maybe along the lines of my suggestion? xx”
Word Count: 4,008 (longest imagine I’ve written omg)
Warnings: Cunnilingus, daddy kink.
A/N: So, this is the work that I had gotten halfway through when tumblr crashed. I had to rewrite it so it didn’t come out as good as I expected it to. But I hope I did this justice and I hope you like it. Also, I’m still not very good at smut but I’m gonna practice and get better hopefully. Listen to Too Deep for the full effect!


“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Your friend’s voice sounded through the phone and you stopped yourself from scowling.

How were you supposed to answer that after the large bomb she had dropped on you?

“Yeah.” You answered, voice coming out breathy and quiet. You knew that you weren’t gonna be okay, though, and judging by the small indignant noise that your friend let out on the other end of the receiver, she didn’t buy it either.

“Look, maybe it isn’t what it looks like,” Your friend brought you back from your dark thoughts. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

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Work It Out

In which Eric Bittle officially comes out to his Mama. 

Read on Ao3

It was only hours into Christmas vacation and the Bittle Family’s quaint, sunshine yellow kitchen was already overflowing with every kind of pie-like confection imaginable. Apple. Cherry. Rhubarb. You name it, and it was probably perched on one of the many crowded windowsills.

This increased state of pie productivity was due in part to the fact that the elder Bittle had missed her son/best friend/partner in sugary crime something fierce while he was away at college, but it was mostly just because Eric himself was more nervous than he’d ever been in his whole life.

Today was the day. Today was the day he would tell her about Jack.

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Ref

Summary: There are very few things anymore that surprise James Buchanan Barnes. That all changes however, when a mysterious cat appears in his fridge.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Refrigerator Cat, Reader

Warnings: teensy bit of angst after a nightmare

Word count: 2991

A/N: Thinking about maybe doing more parts for this story…let me know what you think! As always, thanks for reading!

Masterlist


There were very few things in life that surprised James Buchanan Barnes anymore. Flying battleships? No problem. The existence of aliens? Bucky didn’t even blink an eye. Mutated humans that committed acts of pure evil? Just another Monday.

But today, Bucky got the shock of his life.

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Basic equipment (apparently) optional

Fuck management. I work at a WaySub. On Saturday (7/1) our walk-in cooler - where we store ALL OUR FOOD STOCK - broke. We had to call the emergency maintenance line for over 2 hours before someone finally called back to let us know that no technicians were on call for the weekend, so no one could be in until Monday to fix it. We had to move all our food to the next closest store in our franchise (thankfully only about 15 minutes away). It made for a shitty weekend because we weren’t allowed to close while we waited for it to be fixed, but it was manageable. However,, it didn’t end there. As of today (7/5) the cooler STILL isn’t fixed. We haven’t closed even one day. We’re running out of food constantly. The only backup food we have is whatever we can run in from our sister store and cram in our backline cooler (which is about five feet long and can’t even hold one of every type of food we serve). Today we ran out of such basic sandwich necessities as turkey, ham, mayonnaise, tomatoes, and lettuce. It’s ridiculous and unacceptable that we haven’t gotten such a basic and necessary piece of equipment fixed in five days, and also ridiculous and unacceptable that they won’t let us close the restaurant down until we’re actually functional again. Might as well piss of all the customers and overwork all the employees (and no, we aren’t getting compensated for the gas it takes to drive between our stores constantly). ((We also had to throw out almost 30 pounds of just vegetables that were supposed to be “okay” sitting out without being refrigerated but were starting to grow mold because it’s been so long)).

The kicker? We just had a surprise store evaluation and we were marked for the cooler being at the wrong temperature.

TL;DR: our store no longer has the basic equipment necessary for our restaurant to function, but rather than shutting down until we can fix it, management has decided we should run out of all the product we serve, throw away 30 pounds of expired product, disappoint customers, and make additional stress and responsibilities for the workers that they aren’t fairly compensated for.

don’t keep it all together. [linstead oneshot.]

- Hey guys! Sorry it’s been awhile, I needed to make sure this one did the prompt I received justice. Thank you @snufflesandfluff for the idea and I sincerely hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think! (Jay tries to deal with PTSD while Erin is in New York.)

[there’s mention of death and injuries from war so just a fair warning it’s kind of dark!]

She’d been gone three weeks now. Three weeks in the Big Apple with her nice new, hopefully cushy job and with her hopefully kind and welcoming boss and with her hopefully significantly larger paycheck.

He wanted the absolute best for her, he did. There wasn’t a doubt in his head that he did but there was that nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that he needed her to come back, because the nights were getting longer and darker and his sleep was getting to be less and less and the only thing that could bring him any semblance of comfort anymore was a bottle of alcohol when it used to be her hands and her lips and her tongue and he seemed to be going backwards in all the progress that he had made in going to therapy and in talking to other struggling soldiers and he really, really hated himself for that.

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Three Lies

here it is, my 3.5k commission for @summylise! I hope you enjoy the angst and the fluff, dear! huehuehuehue

read it on ff.net and ao3

type: canonverse fluffy angst

pairing: nalu. mentions of gruvia and jerza

characters: natsu, lucy, gray, erza, lisanna, and mentions of other guild members

word count: 3,574


“I can’t believe you were stupid enough to do that, man,” Gray said, shaking his head at Natsu. “I mean, I knew you were idiotic, but this is crossing a line, even for you.”

“Shut it, Gray! Anyway, so I hit them with a fire dragon’s roar and it was all over! Those bastards didn’t know what hit ‘em!” Natsu said, pounding a fist into his other hand with a grin, which made Lucy flush a bit when she realized that he was looking at her and expecting a reaction. Erza just smiled softly, amazed that Natsu had the guts to do such a thing.

“Luce, you did a great job on taking out those bandits!” Natsu said, rushing over to his best friend and putting her in a headlock, rubbing her head with his knuckles. Lucy swatted his hand away and pulled his arm over his head, smoothing her locks. Cancer had spent some time putting together this hairstyle, deeming it perfect for a job out with her team. She wanted both fashion and function, and she hoped that the little pieces of hair framing her face drew Natsu’s eyes to her own.

But it didn’t seem to work as he continued to punch Gray in the arm and ignore Erza’s glares. Lucy sighed and looked at the sun setting over the ocean, admiring the colors that encased the sun. She enjoyed looking at sunsets, and one day she hoped that she would be able to look at one with a special someone.

A whisper caught her ear in the midst of her admiration, and Lucy turned an ear to hear her name.

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Can we all just agree that Hannibal got terrible food poisoning after he ate Chilton’s lip given that it had been sitting out without refrigeration for lord only knows how long.

Like didn’t Dolarhyde send them in the mail?

The Problem With Vegans

Let’s talk about veganism and the racism, classism and ableism that plagues the movement.

Before we get into the bulk of this article a disclaimer I fully support veganism, as a vegetarian it’s my ultimate goal to transition to veganism. Animal cruelty sickens me and I aim to reduce my contribution to that in any way I can.

The problem here is not the concept of veganism but the people who’s vegan activism is largely un-inclusive. It’s about vegans who are vocal on animal rights but are silent about police brutality and racism.

Animal Lives Matter

My first encounter with racist white vegans was back when the news broke of the death of Hamabre the gorilla. A black boy had wandered into the gorilla’s enclosure and it was either the child or the gorilla.

All it takes is the relative anonimity of an article comment section for racists to reveal themselves; many of which self proclaimed vegans. Many stating the boy should have been killed instead of the gorilla. I struggle to believe they would have the same reaction to a white child in the same situation. Black children are quickly denied their humanity and their deaths by police are largely met with indifference.

People will take any excuse to enact misogynoir especially against black mothers in relation to how they raise their children perpetuating the stereotype of the neglectful black mother despite how historically black women were hired as ‘mammys’ for white children.

I took that as an isolated event however fast forward to this week I’ve had a lot of really interesting exchanges with vegans over the past week on my social media pages who have a tendency to directly compare the chattel slavery black people faced to the plight of animals today.

The lynching of black people to the hanging of animals. You don’t need to look far back into history and even to this day to see how comparing a group of people to animals has been used to justify their dehumanization. I couldn’t help but notice a pattern emerge between vegans and racism.

I understand the anger at animals being held in captivity but anti-blackness is not the solution.

Keep in mind historically black people were kept in human zoos, dehumanized and compared to animals, how black children were used as alligator bait. Stop comparing black people and their struggle to animals whatever the context!

Human oppression cannot be compared to animal oppression, racism isn’t just a thing of the distant past black people are still being lynched and executed by the police today!

Warped Sense of Poverty

Most people who haven’t lived in extreme poverty have a warped view of what that entails and this includes many white vegans who have class privilege.

To paraphrase a vegan commenter on my page ‘Are you saying you can afford steaks but not rice and beans’ To anyone who hasn’t lived in poverty that seems a reasonable assertion, but as someone who has it’s illuminating.

Poverty is not a choice between steak & rice and beans:

It’s a choice between eating nothing or eating the cheapest meat based ready meal that is high energy and low cost.

It’s a choice between eating nothing and eating whatever family or friends can spare you (meat based or not)

It’s a choice between eating nothing and eating whatever you’re given (meat based or not) from the food bank you were embarrassed to walk into.

There are rarely options, you eat what you can get for free or what you can buy from the money found at the back of your sofa. If steak was an option on my menu I would be a vegan tomorrow!

So I find it very revealing when people assert eating vegan is easy when your poor.

I lived without a refrigerator for a year at one point because our second hand one broke down and only had a microwave oven to cook food with.

Working more than one job and getting home late at night. The nearest grocery store was 30 minutes away by bus but fast food joints (which don’t serve vegan) plentiful within walking distance.

After a busy day, feet hurting from standing all day at a physically draining minimum wage service job the last thing you want to do is prepare a meal. A bag of apples is the same price as a filling fast food burger or a calorie rich ready meal.

Eating vegan below the poverty line isn’t impossible but it sure is difficult.

Even more so now my financial position is better I can see how easier it is to eat vegetarian/vegan. With working refrigeration, not living in a food dessert; the difference is night and day.

That’s not even taking into consideration how closely classism and racism are linked. Many people of color living in impoverished communities cannot even drink clean water. Not to mention how many of these communities are in food desserts thanks to low investment and bad infrastructure in these areas, all of which make purchasing affordable fruit and vegetables near impossible.

Ableism

Finally let’s not forget ableism like many people do. Many people cannot consume a strict vegan diet due to dietary requirements on the recommendation of their doctor. Most cannot reasonably consume a vegan diet without supplements to offset the food groups they’re missing out on.

Let’s not also forget the undeniable intersection between disability and poverty. By no means am I saying ALL poor and disabled people cannot consume a vegan diet but a good portion cannot directly as a result of their circumstances.

If you do not take this into account in regards to your vegan activism, you’re the type of vegan my criticisms are aimed at.

I support veganism always but not vegans who aren’t intersectional in their activism or those who are silent about the loss of people of color’s lives due to institutionalized racism and police brutality but vocal on the loss of animal lives, vegans who scream ‘All Lives Matter’ because ‘animal lives matter too not just black ones’

I would rather be harsh on vegans than silent on racism, classism or ableism.

valentine--heart  asked:

To the "A white person didn't invent ice cream" Anon: ice mixed with fruits was present in Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, Persia, India and frozen milk and rice in China but the recipe for the ice cream as we know today originated in Europe so yes, a white person probably invented it. Instead of fighting on who invented what wouldn't be better to talk about how amazing these cultures were to come up with these recipes and how they were able to store and preserve ice without refrigerators?

For real trying to one up each other via our ancestors is fucking stupid… It’s like the whole “well MY dad can beat up YOUR dad thing!” Who cares?! Neither of those people are you! If you’re so damn concerned with the achievements of your race fucking go out there and do something smh. Or stop being so defensive about it. People will be wrong of course and there’s nothing wrong with correcting them but trying to say like “oh X race invented more things than Y race” is completely unnecessary.

Zootopia / Robin Hood Fanfiction TAKE A STAND ch.25- Shout

(AN/ Hey folks it’s Garouge/Crewefox here with another chapter of Take a Stand, so wow the last chapter was the most reviewed yet with 53 reviews for that single chapter thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, liked, faved, followed and reblogged this fic, oh and sorry for the feels last chapter. FYI there is a sneak peek of the upcoming Take a Stand sequel now on my Tumblr Crewefox just search for ‘Take a Stand SOC’. So without further ado let’s get cracking with this chapter…..)

Here’s the fanfiction.net link…https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12105029/25/Take-A-Stand

Chapter 25- Shout

Jack was anxious as he looked at the time on his smart phone for third time in a minute, 9.36 pm. “They’re late.” He complained, he was in black combat fatigues, with his trusty pistol strapped to his side.

“They’re vigilantes, they play by their own rules.” Skye shrugged off, the two MCB agents were stood on the roof of a run down office building looking over the fenced off Sherwood Haulage yard.

“Indeed we do.” A voice crooned behind them, the two agents spun round to see Robin in his ‘Hood’ uniform.

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Supplies

Adapted from “You Can Survive the Bomb” by Col. Mel Mawrence, Chief of Information Services, Illinois Civil Defense Office

Food and cooking: 

  1. Water (2-week supply, minimum of 7 gallons per person)
  2. Food (2-week supply)
  3. Cooking pans
  4. Eating utensils
  5. Paper plates, cups, and napkins (2-week supply)
  6. Measuring cup
  7. Openers for cans and bottles
  8. Pocket knife
  9. Special food for babies and the sick
  10. Nursing bottles 
  11. Pet food* 

*Most survival guides recommend not taking your pets with you into shelter. As your Block Warden, I say the hell with this because they’re family too and deserve to be treated as such.

Sanitation: 

  1. Covered cans for garbage (20 gallon) 
  2. Covered pail for toilet purposes
  3. Can for human waste (10 gallon) 
  4. Toilet tissue, paper towels, feminine hygiene products, disposable diapers, clean rags, ordinary and waterless soap, detergents
  5. Grocery bags, newspapers for soil bags
  6. Disinfectants and insecticides, including household chlorine and bleach 
  7. Waterproof gloves

Shelter: 

  1. Battery radio and spare batteries for 2-week operation
  2. Dosimeter for radiation measurement
  3. Flashlights, electric lantern, and spare batteries
  4. Matches
  5. Clock and calendar
  6. Clothing
  7. Bedding 
  8. A first aid kid and supplies
  9. Fire extinguisher
  10. Writing material
  11. Reading material
  12. Religious articles
  13. Screwdriver, pliers, and other household tools
  14. Games and toys for children
  15. Special medicines and equipment for the invalid and sick

More on Water and Air 

- All approved shelter designs provide vents or blowers to insure adequate air supply

- Three main hazards to air supply are:

  1. Fire - A blaze in the shelter area can burn out oxygen, causing suffocation
  2. Overcrowding - If a shelter is overcrowded, all persons should be cautioned to sit or lie quietly, except those with immediate tasks to perform. The less physical activity, the less air used
  3. Air contamination - Normally, fallout settles on the ground and does not blow around like dust. However, if you suspect fallout is in your air supply, you should wear a mask over the nose and mouth. Masks can be made of two or three layers of gauze or cotton handkerchiefs, secured to the face by tape or string

- The standard recommendation for water supply is 2 quarts per person, per day

- A two-week supply per person would be 7 gallons

- You should also store a jug of household chlorine bleach with water 

- Only drink water or other liquids that you know are safe 

- Sealed cans, glass jugs, fruit jars, quart bottles, and plastic containers are all useful for storing water

- Upon the first alert, fill all available containers with water, including bathtubs, sinks, buckets, pots, and glasses 

- If you have time afterwards, shut off the water service valve and the pilot light in a hot water tank

- It is not necessarily to boil water before storing it 

- With the exception of completely sealed and sanitized water, water should be changed every 90 days 

- There are 4 methods of water purification: 

  1. Boiling for 5-10 minutes
  2. 2 or 3 drops of iodine per quart of clear water, 8-10 drops for cloudy water. Let stand for 30 minutes after treating
  3. Purification tablets 
  4. Adding common household chlorine bleach (1 drop for 1 gallon of clear water, 3 drops for cloudy)

More on food 

- Rations should not interfere with conservation or water in the body

- A maximum of 7-8% of total calories should be protein

- Foods that induce thirst are not recommended 

- A minimum of 100 grams of carbohydrates is required

- A typical survival pack should contain:

  1. 5 vitamin tablets
  2. 8 oz. candy bars
  3. 12 oz. malted milk tablets
  4. malted cereals and full cream milk
  5. 8 oz. biscuits
  6. 2 oz. enriched tropical chocolate

- A list of standard foods which can provide one adult with 2,000 calories per day for two weeks: 

- Select foods that can store easily and be kept for months without refrigeration

- Select foods that require little or no cooking or preparation

- Foods in metal or glass cans with stay in good condition for 6 months or more if stored in a cool, dry place 

- If required, include special foods for infants, toddlers, invalids, or those on special diets 

- Alcohol tends to dehydrate the body; consider limiting quantities 

Imagine your favorite character is your freshman dorm roommate. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and incredibly hyped up for university, they can’t wait to get into college life, especially the parties. They soon become frequent partygoers and drag a hesitant you along, and you end up having to chaperone them after night after night of getting wasted, helping them balance on their way back as they hold their stomach and burp out the air intake from the drinks. Soon, all that drinking and snacking at parties shows on their body, beer gut pushing against the front of their shirt.

They don’t seem to notice it though, and continue attending parties, even though you decline more often now. This results in you oftentimes returning from a night of studying to the sight of your bloated roommate clutching their distended belly, moaning, hiccuping, and belching as they drunkenly ramble about what a party it was upon entering your dorm room. Other times, it is you who is present when they arrive back, stumbling in with a red solo cup still in one hand and a pizza in the other.

You find yourself more often than not still tending to them despite not accompanying them to these parties, bringing them soda water and pepto-bismol to help with the indigestion. This escalates to rubbing their exposed belly and helping them out of tight but already unbuttoned jeans, as well as having them sit on your lap and drunkenly burp as you thump them on the back. It’s humiliating, but oftentimes they are too drunk to care – and in fact grow to like being taken care of when they get like this.

Even when the parties lessen, your roommate’s unhealthy eating habits continue. Every night becomes pizza night, and while you occasionally take a slice or two, you see them manage to polish off two to three whole pizzas without noticing. Your room refrigerator is packed with soda of all kinds. Most of the weight gain your roommate experiences stays in their gut, most likely due to the initial gain from all the alcohol. It becomes a habit for them to overeat and have you deal with the aftermath, but neither of you necessarily mind.

Their unabashed eating habits become prevalent even in public, scarfing down meals messily, sauce and cream all over their face, and burping between delicious bites. It gets to the point where their belly gets too big for most of their tops, and causes the tops to either stretch/burst at the buttons or ride up to the top of their belly, expanded beyond compare. Their bottoms don’t fare any better, most of which cannot be buttoned or even zipped up anymore.

However it is only when you get back to the dorms that they whine for you to rub their aching tummy, full of greasy fast food and diabetes-inducing pastries. You tut at them, wipe their mouth, and chide them for being so dependent when they’re already in university. They say nothing, only groan and burp as you massage their taut and firm belly, pressing and squeezing in all the right places. They are considerably rounder as the year passes, though they still for some reason do not notice, but you do, and you love it.

Imagine they ask to stay roommates in sophomore year.

a few tips for first-year college students:

dorm

  • if you don’t have air conditioning, you want a fan. you can get a box fan at Target for $20 and stick it in your window. if you don’t want to go all-in on that yet, get a clip-on fan that you can stick on your desk or your bed and aim directly at your face. 
  • in case nobody has told you yet, you need to wear flip flips in the shower
  • if you’re going to be storing stuff over the summer, keep all the boxes that things come in. a lot of times you can flatten them and shove them away pretty easily. now your string lights have their own box when you’re moving into a storage unit and your actual box space is freed up. last year I stored my sheets in the box my snow boots came in. boxes.
  • you can totally survive without a refrigerator and a microwave. I’ve done it. but they’re really fucking nice to have. (same goes for fans.) if you don’t have a microwave or fridge, find a friend whose fridge you can put leftovers in the one night you go out or get takeout and a building with a microwave students can use.
  • if you’re ordering your bedding online and having it shipped directly to college, go feel the stuff in the store first. related: buy cotton sheets. microfiber is gross. you’ll need a lighter summer pair if you get flannel.
  • travel bottles for shampoo and conditioner can be found at places like Target and Bed Bath and Beyond and then if you buy shampoo in bulk (I get liter containers), you don’t have to carry the whole thing with you. oh also don’t bet on having a place to hang a shower caddy–get one you can put on the ground without it grossing you out, and expect everything in the shower caddy to get wet (bar soaps are p much out, but if you do use one, get a draining soap dish and make sure to leave it out to dry every time you use it so it doesn’t get squishy or melt away).

classes

  • figure out when you do your best work and when you do best in class and work your schedule around that, whether that means never taking a class before 11am or making sure to take a 10am class so that you’re up and moving for the rest of the day. late classes (after 5pm) can conflict with club/event things, so try not to have one every night of the week. anyone who tells you “never take a class at x time” is full of shit.
  • don’t be afraid to ask for an extension on a paper. for a lot of professors, if you get your work done and you’re a generally good student, you don’t need to have a Capital-R Reason beyond just “my paper will be better if I can have an extra 24 hours.”
  • any time you can do a reading early, do it early. just make sure to look over your notes before class.
  • everyone always says this, but seriously, participate in class. answer questions. ask questions. if you’ve got really bad anxiety about participating in a class (like I did with Greek history), write down some questions and go into office hours to talk to the prof one-on-one so that they know you’re engaged. 
  • when I am writing papers, I take one entire day for just that paper, no other assignments (other than readings): therefore it is important for me to schedule my time so that I have that day, which might mean writing an essay a week early. block out time for big assignments well in advance, whether you plan your paper in one day and write in one day like I do (not recommended) or plan one evening and write a paragraph per day.
  • take notes by hand????? unless you have a medical reason to use a laptop and that is necessarily How You Take Notes, taking notes by hand is the way to go. you can’t get distracted by other tabs, you remember things better when you write them out, and a bunch of profs either really dislike if you use laptops in class or straight-up ban them without a medical accommodation. yeah the searchability of digital notes is nice, but imo for most people (though not all!!), the pros outweigh the cons for paper notes and the cons outweigh the pros for digital notes. 
  • if you’re not printing the reading and annotating it, take notes on the reading by hand in a notebook. (my #1 way to take notes on readings is to annotate the reading while I read it, and then transfer my annotations to modified Cornell-style notes afterwards) 
  • use whatever organizational style makes you the most happy and stress-free. I use Rhodia side-stapled notebooks for notes, yellow legal pads for things to hand in, and two expanding files, one for carrying and one for dorm. some people use binders (get a three hole punch if you do). some people use folders. your prof gives 0 shits about what you use.
  • bullet journals are cool and I want one.
Two Birds (Bucky Barnes x O/C)

Originally posted by sibirr

A/N: Part One. Set in the roaring 1920s, Bucky Barnes runs Manhattan like a kid with a toy set. There’s perhaps only one person who should be more feared than him- and she’s asking for his protection. 

I’ve been working on an idea for a gangster fic for a while, and for some reason today, I just had a push. So hopefully I’ll actually finish this one. I hope you enjoy. I will be making a tag list for this story, so if you’d like to be added, let me know. 

I also recommend that you listen to this song while reading. It made me feel great. 

Tagging some of my favourites: @poe-also-bucky @sebbsbitch @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse @caplanbuckybarnes @fvckingavengers @cutefandomsdaily @buck-0-lantern @bovaria @just-call-me-mrs-captain @lavender-limerence @chrisevans-imagines @themcuhasruinedme

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As the Christian faith grew, more and more members of the congregation insisted on being buried in and around the church to reap the benefits of saint proximity. This burial practice spread throughout the empire, from Rome to Byzantium and to what is now present-day England and France. Entire towns grew up around these corpse churches.
Demand rose and the churches supplied it - for a fee, of course. The wealthiest church patrons wanted the best spots, nearest the saints. If there was a nook in the church big enough for corpse, you were sure to find a body in it. There were, without hyperbole, dead bodies everywhere.
The preferred locations were the half circle around the apse and the vestibule at the entrance. Beyond those key positions, it was a free-for-all: corpses were placed under the slabs on the floor, in the roof, under the eaves, even piled into the walls themselves. Going to church meant the corpses in the walls outnumbered the parishioners.
Without refrigeration, in the heat of the summer months, the noxious smell of human decomposition in these churches must have been unimaginable. Italian physician Bernardino Ramazzini complained that “there are so many tombs in the church, and they are so often opened that this abominable smell is too often unmistakable. However much they fumigate the sacred edifices with incense, myrrh, and other aromatic odors, it is obviously very injurous to those present.
—  ‘Smoke Gets in your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory’, by Caitlin Doughty
Writing tips - post apocalyptic

Hey guys! Grim here.

This was supposed to be Monday’s post. I’m really sorry that I couldn’t post it then.

oOo

Here are some basic rules any writer should keep in mind when writing about a post-apocalyptic/survival scenario.

1. Canned food is your characters’ new bff. Seriously, I have seen a certain bestseller (Who shall not be named but let’s just say sparkles and los plagas) write about her absolute idiot  of a protag collecting milk, carrots, twinkies, gone-off crackers, cookies and a whole heap of other foodstuffs that are totally unsuited for surviving on whilst off in a cave in the middle of nowhere.

If your character’s can grow some fresh food, good for them, they’ll get some much needed vitamins. But fresh food goes off really quickly with or without refrigeration. Go to your fridge, look at the expiration dates on your milk and veggies and meats and whatnot. They all last about a week or so, right? That’s in the fridge.  Outside of the fridge some of that stuff won’t even last a day. Now, Ireland is a pretty cold country, but if you take milk out of the fridge, it still goes off after an hour or two. (I know this from forgetting I had a glass of milk as a kid then finding it after a couple of hours. It stank.) 

EDIT: I have been corrected, it’s apparently four hours max for milk, not one or two. It is still not long enough for someone to go lugging a standard two-litre carton back to their cave in the middle of Arizona, though. 

Also i forgot to mention this, but the milk thing reminded me: if you have not grown up on unpasturied, unhomogenised milk, you will get seriously ill from drinking it.

Twinkies are arguably the WORST thing you could grab in an apocalypse. The cream inside will go sour and you will be left with a really bad case of the skitters (runs/diarrhoea). We don’t have twinkies in Ireland and I know this! This is common sense.

EDIT: Apparently the cream doesn’t go sour. I apologise for the mistake, but i got the info from an American sporking of the above mentioned los plagas story, and so i assumed that they were correct as we do not get twinkies here.

I just… I can’t even. just think before you have your scavenger grab stuff, okay?

2. Preppers are the most likely to survive. Also common sense. 

Another thing is that the ones who prepare for the collapse of society will have prepared for the human element as well, meaning they will have weapons. If the leader has a gun they should all have guns. This is another thing that the unnamed writer got wrong. She gave a useless “rifle” (It was a shotgun, she just didn’t know the difference.) to the leader and it was pretty clear the only reason he was in charge was because he kept poking the gun at whoever tried to disagree with him. That wouldn’t work in real life. The guy the leader threatens, if he’s speaking sense he’s going to have a friend or two, and they are not going to be happy. Unless the leader dude is a really quick shot he’d be dead in that situation - someone would manage to clunk him upside the head or disarm him eventually.

In short, if the leader is an idiot he will be deposed swiftly.

3. In the event of an invasion of aliens who can take human form or possess humans, if there are visible signs, they are going to be killed on sight. If here aren’t visible signs, your characters will not trust anyone outside of their group, and if a group member goes missing, that’s it, they’re presumed to be captured. If they show up again no one should touch them with a barge pole, they could be possessed or indoctrinated.

4. Fire is really bad against zombies/the undead. The various video games and novels and whatnot on the subject all say one thing; “Cut off the head or it ain’t dead, Set it on fire and the situation is dire.” there I made it rhyme for easy remembering! You do not want flaming zombies zerg rushing you. 

As MatPat of Game theory recommends, an axe is wonderful. You have the reach for no biteys, you can hook the blade around to get at the back of the neck and it’s relatively clean so less chance of flying undead bits and infection. 

You really want to minimise your contact with undead gore. Antiseptic would be a must have, as would gloves, facemasks and other bits and pieces if you plan on looting undead corpses.

5. If you get shot/injured and loose consciousness, firstly, you won’t remember a thing. There is no “Encroaching darkness/fog” or any of that nonsense. Can you remember the exact moment you fell asleep? Of course not. You might remember getting the injury or falling over, but you’re not going to remember the exact moment you go out of it.

If you subsequently wake up in an unfamiliar house and you have been bandaged up and made comfy, don’t immediately freak out. They probably aren’t going to kill you. Unless they are seriously messed up, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. 

So, do not go ripping out your IV drip for fear that it is “truth serum” - yes, that exists (sodium pentothal) but plain old alcohol is more effective. Just refuse if they offer you a pint or mysterious liquid to drink. there’s a gene that causes an alcohol intolerance or allergy - say you have that and you could die if you drink alcohol. It’s most common in people of Asian descent, so if you have to lie and say your great-granddad is Asian on your mother’s side or something, do it. The only way they might catch you out is by finding a family photo with said granddad in it or if they used alcohol to clean your wounds and you didn’t have a reaction.

See my post on medicine for more details on this kind of situation.

6. Duct-tape is your best bud for repairs and crafting.

The mythbusters did a whole episode on how you could survive in the wilderness with nothing but a crapton of duct-tape and a knife. That stuff is freaking durable! They made hammocks and a freaking chess set!

Think about it - you could tape a flashlight to your gun, tape that hole in your shoes up, tape stuff together to make a shelter. There are a ton of uses for duct-tape, so if it’s there have your intrepid survivalist grab it.

7. A few factors probably went into crafting your post-apocalyptic world.

One pandemic, war or natural disaster on its own isn’t going to do much. A few of them occurring at the same time or one after another would be much more plausible. In the case of hordes of the undead or something - I gotta give you that one, if it happened fast enough and they were tough enough to withstand the world’s armies, then yeah, it could happen.

8. Nuclear fallout does not create awesome mutants.

It causes things like leukaemia and birth defects and infertility. It would be highly unlikely that a beneficial mutation would occur. If you’re going with the realm of science, be realistic about it - or as realistic as you can be without a degree. (As regards the X-men, I’m pretty sure that it’s a gene that gets triggered by nuclear fallout in some cases, but I am probably wrong - as i have said before, we don’t really get comics where I’m from, so I’m only familiar with movie versions.In any case, a gene being triggered isn’t quite as bad as “Nuclear fallout gave me the ability to do x, y and z!”)

EDIT I meant to put in number nine originally, but I forgot.

9. Pregnancy could equal DEATH 

There are so many things that could go wrong. A miscarriage after a certain point would leave the lady stuck with a dead fetus rotting inside her. She would die of aseptic poisoning (Something that can also happen during a period if the blood isn’t allowed to leave the body, though periods should be a non-issue during the apocalypse, you’d be way too malnourished to have one). Even if by some miracle she carried to term, she’d probably die in childbirth because your average survivor wouldn’t be a midwife with experience delivering a baby without proper hospital care. Say she did survive, the baby would die anyway because she wouldn’t be able to produce enough milk. Where are you gonna get formula that will last the baby until it’s on solids? Without a blender or baby rice/food how are you gonna get a baby onto solids? Also, if the baby had to be delivered by C-section or there was significant tearing during a natural birth - bye bye lady. Also, the blood will attract predators!

So you have this constant drain on your precious resources for up to nine months and at the end of it you’re probably down a survivor and to top all that off, the father has also lost his partner and his child in one fell swoop, potentially seriously damaging his psyche, so you might wind up with a death seeker on your hands endangering everyone else. 

And in the series I mentioned (under the food section, with the plagas) the protagonist and her boyfriend were more concerned about how it “wouldn’t be fair” to bring a child into their post-apocalyptic world. LOOK AT EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!

oOo

That’s all I’ve got for now. I hope this helped you guys in your writing endeavors, and as always, if you have a question, do not hesitate to use the ask feature.

Hope you have an awesome day!

Gamzee's Sopor Slime Pie Recipe from Homestuck

External image

Requested by intelmaster

Pie Shell

Ingredients:

  • 1 ¼ cups flour
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ½ cup shortening 
  • 3 Tbsp water


Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit. 
  2. Mix flour with salt in a small bowl.
  3. Use a pastry blender to cut in shortening.
  4. Mix in the water until it holds as a dough, then roll it out on a lightly floured surface to a circle with a radius about ¾" inch longer than the pie tin.
  5. Get it into the pie tin and smooth out any tears or cracks.  Flute the edges to made it beautiful (you can do this by placing the index finger and thumb of one hand against the outside of the shell and gently pulling in while the index finger of your other hand pushes out from the inside of the shell between your other two fingers).
  6. Prick the bottom and sides with a fork and bake 12-15 minutes until lightly browned.


*The slime recipe makes enough to fill two pie shells.

Sopor Slime Filling

Ingredients:

  • 1 package lime jello (6 oz.)
  • 1 package lime jello (2.75 oz.)
  • 1 package lemon pudding (3.4 oz.)
  • 2 cups water 
  • 2 cups Moon Mist Faygo (or Sprite, 7-Up, Sierra Mist, whichever you have or can get)
  • 4 Tbsp cornstarch 
  • ¼ cup powdered sugar
  • ¼ cup whipped cream (or Cool Whip or whatever)
  • food colouring as desired 


Directions:

  1.  Bring the water to a boil in a large saucepan, then turn off the heat and dump in the big package of lime jello mix and use a whisk to stir it until everything is blended.
  2. Stir in the wicked elixir.
  3. Stir in the pudding mix.
  4. Stir in the cornstarch, the powdered sugar, the whipped cream, and then the small jello package.  Whisk everything around so it’s blended smoothly and there aren’t any lumps.
  5. Add food colouring as desired.**
  6. Pour as much slime as you can into the cooled pie shells.  Just make sure you can carry them to your thermal hull without spilling.
  7. Refrigerate your miracles for a couple hours or so until the slime sets.


**I used 15 drops of yellow and 3 drops of green.  It probably wasn’t too necessary, so put in however much you think will make it look fabulous.

Subtlety Is Useless

Anonymous asked: “ is it okay if i just request a normal imagine with gerard and like gerard and the reader get into a bad fight and break up and like maybe mikey can try to get them back together and it turns to fluff and aHH”

So this took a little bit, and is like double the length of one of my normal imagines… But I’m not really sorry because I kinda like the way it turned out… I hope you do too!


“Gerard?” I call, stomping down the stairs. Of course he’s here. Standing on the other side of an easel probably half covered in paint.

“Oh! Y/n! You’re here! Great! Can you make some coffee?” He voice rings out rather distractedly but he doesn’t even bother to look around his current project at me.

“What? No!” I almost completely lose my temper, the cold seeping into my bones from my soaking clothes. “Didn’t you forget something?” I ask rather pointedly, one fist one my hip.

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