without his desire

damage || park jimin (i)

Park Jimin x reader

Summary: Subject to harsh judgement and hate from the media and fans, sometimes the comments that come with dating Jimin are too much for one person to handle.

Genre: Angst

Words: 2128

I’m sorry 

part two

Originally posted by mvssmedia



“What are you looking at?” Jimin’s voice from the doorway startled me into slamming my laptop shut, my breath quickening.

“Ah,” I forced a smile onto my face, putting a hand to my chest, “you scared me.” He moved further into the room, his eyes not leaving my face.

“Y/N.” He said, not ignoring how I avoided his question. I sighed, my smile slipping away.

“Nothing, Jimin.” I turned away from him, looking for my phone. The bed dipped as he sat on it, but I didn’t look at him until he said my name again.

Y/N.” His eyes were sad as he took in my face, scanning over my features. I fiddled with my fingers in my lap, not trying to stop him as he reached for laptop and opened it, turning it towards him so he could read what was on the screen. He sighed, his eyes closing in defeat as he saw the comments open on my twitter mentions. He shut the laptop, pushing it away and moving closer to me, his expression pained.

“Baby…” he started, but I stopped him with a wave of my hand.

“No, Jimin, it’s fine.” I gave him a small smile.

“It’s not fine.” He frowned and shifted so he was next to me before putting his arm around me and pulling me into him. I buried my face into his neck gratefully as he rubbed up and down my arm, squeezing me to his side. “You mustn’t listen to anything they say.” He whispered, his lips brushing the top of my head. I nodded into the fabric of his sweater, biting my lip. He held me tightly against him and pressed a kiss to my temple, his voice rough.

“I’ll make sure they stop.”

But they didn’t.

The comments by fans and journalists only seemed to get worse, and countless times Jimin found me upset by them, eventually making me delete my twitter account. It was hardest when he was away on tour, or for some other project, and I was alone. I knew none of it was his fault; he tried his hardest to stop the comments, and to be with me as much as he could, but it was his job.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this.” He would whisper into my salty skin as he wrapped me up, sheltering me from the rest of the world as best he could. But it wasn’t enough.

Time and time again the words would find me, and slice into my heart and my head, marking the insults on my skin for everyone to see. I didn’t want to let them hurt me but I couldn’t stop them from doing so, hoping their effect would dull over time but feeling every insult as sharply and as keenly as the first one. And no matter how many times I told Jimin that it wasn’t his fault, that I knew what I was getting into when I started dating him, and that I loved him, I could see it was tearing him up. I couldn’t stop him from blaming himself.

It was after a particularly unpleasant encounter with a fan on the street that he finally reached his breaking point, storming away from the scene.

“Jimin! Jimin, calm down!” I cried as he pushed into our apartment, fuming. He tore off his jacket, pacing the room and running his hands through his hair. I moved closer to him, reaching for his hand and rubbing it gently. “Baby, calm down, it’s okay.”

“No it’s not!” He shouted, ripping his arm from mine, his eyes blazing, and I took a step back. “It’s not okay!” He slammed his fist against the wall, creating a loud crash that made me wince, my eyes widening. He leant against the wall, his chest heaving. Just as I began to approach his bent figure, he whipped around and turned to me again.

“How can- how dare they do this to you?” He hissed. I knew he wasn’t angry with me, but it was still terrifying to see him in this state. “I mean, they’re my fans, they’re supposed to love me. But no one who loved me or cared about me would ever behave like that to you, of all people.” His voice lowered from a shout to an unstable mutter, delivered through gritted teeth. “You’re the most important person in my life, I mean, I love you.” He muttered the last sentence, and I was alarmed to see tears in his eyes when he looked at me, though his brows were still furrowed and his jaw set in anger.

“Jimin…” I whispered, moving towards him cautiously, almost in tears myself.

“No.” He stopped me before I could reach him, waving a hand. “I can’t, I-I have to be alone for a while.” He whispered hoarsely, moving quickly to pick up his jacket.

“Wait, no, Jimin wait. We have to talk about this.“ I started, frowning.

“I’m sorry, I love you. I’ll be back tomorrow.” He whispered, reaching forward to hurriedly kiss my forehead, before turning and walking out of the door. I stood, stunned and confused, a tear falling down my cheek as I was left alone.

I stayed up late into the night, huddled on the couch under a blanket, not wanting to go upstairs in case he returned home at any point. I was on edge, picking at my nails and tapping my foot as I itched to call him. I decided against it, trusting him, but my nerves remained constant.

What the fan had said to me hadn’t been horrific, but it was the last straw for Jimin; I had been forced to drag him away by his hand before he did something he would regret. I hated the thought of him beating himself up for what happened. All I wanted was for him to come back to me, so we could find comfort in each other, like we always did.

But like he had said, he didn’t return until the next day.

I was awakened suddenly from my restless sleep on the couch by the front door opening, the soft click of the lock echoing through the silent house. I immediately sat up and stood as Jimin entered. His movements were slow as he kept his eyes down, quietly taking off his shoes.

“Jimin.” I spoke, my voice hoarse. His head whipped up, his eyes meeting mine and taking in my figure before they lowered again. He quietly shut the door and I walked over to him.

“Jimin, are you okay? What- what happened?” I asked my voice shaking, but he still refused to meet my gaze. I reached for his hands and was shocked when he pulled them away from me, out of my reach. He seemed different, his usual aura of comfort absent and his movements closed off, and I immediately felt unsettled.

“Y/N…” He sighed. He looked up, his eyes red-rimmed. “Sit down. I need to talk to you.”

I wondered if I had done something wrong as he sat on a chair opposite me; he was almost unrecognisable without his usual desire to be close to me. My thoughts were running wild, taking in his shaking hands and red eyes, and his inability to look me in the eye. He didn’t speak for a long time, and I eventually grew frustrated.

“Jimin, what is going o-“

“I’m breaking up with you.”

It was barely a whisper, but I heard it sharper and clearer than I thought I had heard anything in my life. My heart immediately dropped to my stomach, all the air leaving my lungs.

My breath caught in my throat as I tried to take a breath, echoing the words he had just said to me over and over in my head. I felt dizzy, running through everything I could have done wrong, and praying it was some sick joke. I struggled to form a coherent thought, my throat closing up.

“W-what?” My voice was so soft I’m surprised he heard me, but as his face creased in pain, I knew he had. I swallowed harshly, my head spinning.

“Did I… do something?” I asked quietly, tears brimming in my eyes, and he immediately shook his head.

“No, no, no. You didn’t do anything, I promise.” He said quietly before looking down at his hands. “This was all me.”

His words caused something to click in my head, despite my disorientated state, and I immediately frowned.

“Jimin, if this is about what happened yesterday, it wasn’t your fau-”

“But it’s not just yesterday is it, Y/N?” He cut me off, his voice raising before he shook his head and returned his gaze to the floor. “The things they say to you,” he started again, his voice much softer, “they say them every day. And no matter how many times I tell you they’re lying, I can see it’s hurting you, so don’t even try and deny it.” A tear fell down my cheek, my lips trembling.

He ran a hand over his face, closing his eyes and taking a painful, shaky breath.

“You experience so much hurt, because of me. I can’t…” he looked up and met my gaze, his eyes shining, “I can’t let that happen anymore.”

I sat in silence, trying to process what he had just said, anger and hurt rising me. I forced down the wave of emotion bubbling up my throat, shaking my head and meeting his eyes.

“You’re breaking up with me… because you want to stop me from hurting?” I asked him bitterly, almost laughing as my eyes brimmed with tears once again. “Do you realise how stupid that sounds?” He sighed, wringing his hands in his lap.

“It’s for the best…” his calm and quiet voice contrasted wildly with my sharp and loud voice. I clenched my jaw, wondering how he could be so blind to my feelings towards him that he could believe that.

“The best for who?” I asked furiously. “You don’t think breaking up with me is going to hurt me?” His pained expression did nothing to halt my words. My lip quivered. “I can tell you, Jimin, you breaking up with me will hurt a hell of a lot more than anything they say ever could.” My voice broke as tears began to slip down my cheeks. He said nothing, but only stood looking at me, his face held in agony.

The reality of what was happening set in and I began to cry harder. I tried to calm my breathing as desperation clawed its way up my throat. I needed him to change his mind. I could live with the hate; I could live with the rumours; I wasn’t sure I could live without him.

“Do you love me?” I asked him determinedly. His face crumpled.

“Of course, of course I do.” He whispered, his eyes shining.

“Then what else is there?” I asked, shouting again, but with tears still slipping down my cheeks. He shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry… but you’ll get over me.” He said hoarsely, meeting my eyes. He looked down again, to his hands now clenching in his lap. “If we stay together, it will only get worse. You’ll keep getting hate until it breaks you, and I can’t watch that happen.” A tear fell down his cheek. He wiped it away hurriedly, taking a deep breath and nodding. “If we break up, you won’t have to deal with them anymore.”

“It won’t make a difference if I don’t have you!” I cried at him, my throat raw as I heaved in breaths of desperation. He looked away and stood up, refusing to meet my gaze. I grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at me. “Jimin, if you care about me at all, don’t do this.” I sobbed. “I need you.”

But this time his face didn’t fold; he didn’t move closer to me; he didn’t even look at me. He set his jaw, his eyes glistening but his face impassive, and began walking towards the door.

“No, no, please.” I uttered, my chest caving in on itself. I stumbled to the door as he slipped on his shoes, his eyes never leaving the floor. “I love you, please.” I wept, trying to reach for him, but he slipped away, always just out of my reach, and opened the door. He looked back at me, his eyes the only indication of how much it was hurting him to do this. He looked back at the floor and took a deep breath. When he spoke, his voice was low and gravelly.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered.

My knees gave way as he shut the door.


masterlist

im about 50 pages into hammer of thor, and already the words heteronormative, transgender, and gender fluid have been used, in correct context, and in fact in reference to a specific character, who is shaping up to have a major role, with a direct statement from the protagonist himself that being trans is not unusual or new to him, and hints that said gender fluid character could be said protag’s love interest, in this book, written by a popular mainstream YA author, published by disney, and honestly when have we ever been so blessed

Mitsunari prompt

He had gone tearing down the hall, almost taking down an errant retainer in his path. He stumbled once, then again, playing off the retainer for balance before shoving him aside once he righted himself. Mitsunari’s breath burned a trail down his throat that bloomed out into his lungs. 

He could hear Sakon shouting from the corridor, just outside the door to his library. “What happened!? Where are you going!?”

He should go back– if Sakon opened that door now, he would see more than Mitsunari wanted him to. Instead, his feet just kept going, slapping the hardwood floor beneath him, carrying him past the grand hall, then around the side by the servants’ quarters, further from the castle. 

Outside in the open air, he registered a curious mix of two different sensations– slippery and sleek under one foot, and bumpy and uneven under the other. It wasn’t until he crumpled in a heap, in the rock garden, that he realized he had run himself right out of one of his sandals. 

It was probably in a hallway somewhere, but as he lay down against the gravel, all that mattered was how deliciously the sheen of sweat covering him mixed with the ghostly touch of the chilled wind. The sweet prickling sensation simultaneously calmed him and cleared his mind.

It was a few moments before he caught his breath, and in the meanwhile, he berated himself for losing control the way he had, each thought like a hammer striking hot iron: ‘how could you?’ ‘what were you thinking?’ ‘what have you done?’

Still panting wildly, Mitsunari shifted on top of the gravel, feeling the cool touch of the pebbles pooling beneath him. He opened his eyes and turned his gaze to the overcast sky above him, seeing the colorless sky with its moody gray clouds, but not really looking at it.

A sound escaped him on a sigh. A grim, self-depreciating chuckle.

“She’ll probably tell me I’ll catch a cold out here like this.” The sound of his own voice startled him, as he hadn’t meant to speak aloud, and he was glad for the solitude of the small, lonely garden. Feeling self-conscious, he clamped his lips together and listened to make sure that he really was alone.

“That…” he began aloud once more, feeling sheepish. 

‘pull it together,’ he thought, sighing as he rolled up into a sitting position. 

“…shameful…dullard,” it came out as a painful whisper and he could feel his heart tear in one direction and splinter in the other. 

Keep reading

Analysis of Seto Kaiba: His character development in Yugioh and his grief in Dsod

 Before I dive into the 5 stages of grief, keep in mind that not everyone necessarily experience all the stages in the same chronological order or experience all of them. All people grieve differently and some people recover from the grief faster than others. This is not a speculation of the ending of the movie, since I want to provide an analysis of Seto and his character development. I hope that you find the analysis interesting and you learn something new from it.

Seto Kaiba’s past and his character development

The driving force of Yugioh Dsod movie is Seto’s journey to duel Atem once again. Seto faced on dealing with Atem’s departure. Atem plays a very important role in his life considering that Seto has very few relationships outside of his family circle. Seto is an aloof and cold man, yet insecure because he has difficulty building positive relationships with people due to his abusive past. Before his stepfather, Seto was capable to love Mokuba and was a normal child aside from being an orphan. Under his stepfather’s raising, Seto’s stepfather robbed his childhood and Seto developed machiavellianism traits. He grew up too young and was forced to adapt his stepfather’s method to survive. His stepfather taught him: It doesn’t matter the cost or how it affects others so long you achieve your goals and two: Relationships are meaningless except for manipulation to achieve your life success. Seto became a hollow shell of his former self and he forget his own self and his brother. Nothing matters so long he is at the top and so long he doesn’t show any type of weakness. (Seto can fit in with antisocial personality disorder, but while he displays many traits of it, he is not impulsive in the sense that he does not plan ahead carefully. In Death T, he planned many traps for Yugi and his gang. He still have impulsive traits of acting without remorse and act upon his anger. For the sake of the analysis since it’s deep into psychology, machiavellianism and psychopathy are interchangeable).

Seto became a psychopath and is obsessed about murdering Yugi and his friends because he was tied to a card game. Having a tie is not acceptable to Seto and the obsession went out of control that he coldly treated Mokuba as a tool, forgetting his brotherly love to him. It was the only thing he cared about and Death T represented his obsession gone too far to the point he no longer care about himself or other people.

After Atem “mind crush” him, Seto had to rebuilt his heart and relearn who he is: A bad-tempered, passionate, vulnerable, and broken boy who is forced to be cynical at a young age. He has difficulty trusting anyone let alone learn how to develop healthy relationships. He is skeptic that the idea of relationships is people form them for sentimental reasons. In his perspective, relationships are used for benefiting both parties or to get his goals. He viewed them in a calculated and instrumental matter.

Slowly but surely Seto grew as a character and open up with the ideal of friendship. He learned how to love Mokuba and valuing people around him. Even though Seto refused to ask for help and isn’t pleasant to most people, he learned teamwork, sportsmanship, and matured throughout the series. He already experienced the adrenaline rush of fighting a good opponent with Atem before the mind crush, but he didn’t learn that the experience of the thrill is part of enjoying it for the sake of fun and not for superiority or getting revenge. Before the mind crush, he believed that there’s no benefit and the idea of losing helps both you and your opponent grow as a person is absurd. Winning serves to further achieve your goals in order to survive. Seto was trained to have the mentality of only the strongest survives and that interpersonal relationships are not meant to be useful outside of benefiting both parties. Atem was the first person that Seto considered as a friend and form a bond outside of his family circle. He shared some of his thoughts with Atem though not all since he is still very guarded person considering his past, his job, and his personality. Through Atem, Seto learned to trust others and that interpersonal relationships are meaningful and Seto cared about Yugi’s gang through his own way. Sure, he’s not close friends with them, but he came a long way from Death T. He overcame his past from his abusive stepfather and his duel losses. Seto has learned that life is beyond winning. He also learned that the past does not dictates his life and consume him with despair and hatred.

Grieving over Atem

So it’s no surprise that Seto took really hard on Atem’s departure, since Atem plays a significant role in shaping his life and as a person. To Seto, Atem is the only person that he can duel and get the adrenaline rush that no one can duplicate. Now that Atem is gone, Seto reflected his purpose of life. What happens now? To Seto’s mind, he won’t be satisfied until he has his closure with Atem: To duel once again and defeat him. This is the driving point that Seto created real life holograms in order to replicate Atem’s traits. In a way, he copes Atem’s departure because he never dealt with grief.

He doesn’t know how to deal with grief of someone’s death that he shared a strong bond with. Generally, Seto don’t form very strong bonds with other peers due to his personality. To Seto, it’s awkward and embarrassing to seek for help or even discuss his feelings with someone. Therefore, Seto does not seek for help because he considered it as a weakness and his pride is at stake. He have very little idea how to cope in a healthy way. He experienced his stepfather’s death, but since he hated his callous stepfather, it makes sense that Seto did not feel anything for the person he hated the most. His drive in Yugioh Dsod is to have closure with Atem. It’s his way of grieving.

Seto is one of the most logical characters in the series. Seto does believe that magic exists and is more open-minded after the series. However Seto doesn’t believe that magic solves everything with a whim. It certainly did not make Seto and Mokuba happier by just wishful thinking; Seto would believe that one has to earn their goals and happy ending by hard work and determination. He believes that there are things happening that cannot be explained through logic nor can happen without magic. His desire to duel Atem again and his bond with him overrides the logical thinking that it is impossible to bring back the dead. Not only he denied that it is impossible to bring back the dead, he denied the reality that Atem will never come back.

Stages of grief Seto experienced

Denial and anger are some of the stages Seto experienced and he demonstrated through his actions and his thoughts in Dsod. He knew that the Atem hologram is not the real Atem, yet he denies the fact that Atem no longer exists in the world. Coping with loss is a personal experience and no one can completely understand how the person is feeling right now. When dealing with grief, people tend to isolate themselves. If it’s severe, they can detach themselves from reality and lose their sense of time. Seto was not able to move on and end up reminiscing the past, though it’s understandable. Seto has few close relationship outside of his family and does not like admitting his personal feelings. This makes him more vulnerable to isolation and depression.

Contrary to the popular belief, depression is not limited to crying. Just because someone doesn’t cry does not mean that they don’t have depression. Seto has clear signs of depression, but he displayed it in the internal level. He had “empty feeling” in the sense that things outside of his goal doesn’t interest him anymore. He is more irritated than usual and has lack of interest with the real world outside of his attempt to bring back Atem. He did not neglect Mokuba (like in Death T), but Seto is shown to be withdrawn from his few interpersonal relationships. He went through the stage of bargaining and thought that the Quantum Cube along with completing Yugi’s puzzle would bring back Atem. At some point, Seto is willing to sacrifice himself if Atem appeared again. Through his actions, Seto ended up endangering others but unlike Death T, he did this not out of malevolent.

After the duel, Seto ended up fulfilling his wish to duel Atem again in the afterlife. It’s difficult to determine if Seto is able to move on from his grief or if Seto have the complete closure of fulfilling his dream of defeating Atem (at least he achieve part of his dream to interact with Atem again). Some of the possible post-endings after the duel with Atem:

  1. Seto ends up defeating Atem and is satisfied to return to the present.
  2. Atem defeated Seto but Seto is satisfied with the results and have closure of fulfilling his dream to share the bond with Atem through dueling and Atem helped him get over the grief. Seto returns to the present.
  3. Atem defeated Seto and Seto wanted to stay in the afterlife until he achieve his goals and dies due to his stubbornness. He does not want to return to the present because there is nothing in the present that interest him or that felt as strong as his desire to see Atem again.
  4. The Quantum is a one way ticket to the afterlife and Seto does not return to the present.

There are many other scenarios that people can come up with, but let’s look just this list. For people who are cynical or enjoy downer endings, 3 or 4 might appeal to them. Mokuba has an anxious expression at the end and was concerned if Seto will come back. However, that would defeat the purpose of the movie for Seto to have accepted about Atem’s departure or have some closure.  We are assuming that 1 and 2 happened since Seto appeared again in Yugioh Gx which takes 10 years after the original series. Though, the movie is based of the manga so it’s up to the fans to determine if the movie takes place between the timeline or ignore it.

Does Seto accepted that Atem is gone and ready to move on from his grief? Or does he continue to chase his dreams? Did Seto defeated Atem? Since this is a speculation, it’s up to the fans to interpret the ending and the characters.

never forget that ben has had his softer qualities used against him time & time again and yet still remains kind and trusting and warm and inviting and bright! thank you goodnight!

The Summer (31/33)

The Summer (31/33) | Dan Howell has spent the last three summers at Camp Bergamot, but it’s never been quite like this before. This year, he faces a summer full of new friends, a new relationship, and an entirely new view on his own sexuality. Perhaps Camp Bergamot should be renamed camp self discovery for all the changes Dan has gone through, but one thing’s for sure - despite all the hiccups and the drama, he just might have found the love of his life. | Phan | Mature | Smut, Misunderstandings, Insecurity, Panic Attacks, Bullying, Minor Violence, Physical Fight | 400,000+ Words

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

This Part: 18,257 Words

For reference, @botanistlester is Dan, @snowbunnylester is Phil.

(Previous) (AO3) (Masterlist)

Warnings: teasing, edging, dirty talk, neck kink, handjobs, stretching, penetrative sex, schmoop

A/N: Hey guys! Honestly, we cannot believe what a wild ride it’s been over the course of the last… how long? Few months that we’ve been posting this. When we started this RP, I don’t think either of us realized it was going to end up being over 400,000 words long, and yet it most definitely did. We set out for this fic to be an exploration of sexuality and, obviously, sex, and that’s exactly what we’ve done. We honestly hope you guys have enjoyed this wild ride as much as we have! But don’t worry, this isn’t quite the end! We’ve still got the massive epilogue to go, a whopping 55K words long that we’ve decided to split in half and post back to back thanks to your guys vote!

On Friday, we’ll hit you with part one of the epilogue over at @snowbunnylester ‘s blog, followed by part two on Satruday on @botanistlester ‘s blog! Of course, it’s also getting posted to ao3 in the same chaptered fic as chapters 32 and 33, so stay tuned, and I can’t believe the ride is nearly over… I’m going to try not to cry!

Chapter Thirty-One

Keep reading

Dear ‘Supergirl’, I love you! Also, are we breaking up?!?

I’m one of those folks who is currently in a passion love-hate or else hate-love relationship with the show Supergirl depending on the day.  I wanted to write this long post for folks who are also processing this currently.  I had been thinking for a long time that aside from the single thread of the Mon-El storyline, Supergirl still had a solid, core identity as a show.  The show’s appeal to its audience rested on four foundations in my mind:  1) the incredible likability and reliability of their dynamic lead with her awesome combination of classic hero problems and recognizable lady problems 2) a charismatic and deep sisterhood that formed the central love relationship and unified the dramatic arcs of the show and also let it pass the Bechdel test every episode quite easily 3) positive representations of both women and the men who are also outsiders that they share love bonds with, and 4) general lightheartedness and positivity, so even when it went dark, it was just not all THAT dark.  At its worst, the show was fluffy or annoying. 

With the trust I had established through s1, I thought that what they were trying to do with Mon-El was to depict a narcissistic, sexist guy who turns into one of the good guys.  I thought, well, they think that’s a positive message.  They’ve depicted him an “outsider” or misfit, because he’s among all these high-functioning outsiders acting like an incompetent norm.  And I thought, well, this was a terrible idea.  When you write a subversive story, and then you subvert your subversion, you get normative crap that’s even more generic than the original crap.  It’s a parody that’s hard to watch.  But it’s all well intentioned.  And it will be over soon.  It’s not the show.  This won’t kick the foundations out from under the show.  

I am honestly no longer confident that this was well-intentioned or that it won’t topple the show.  I am holding onto a strong, final thread of trust in this show.  But this feels now more like backlash within this show against its own core identity and values.  The way they have written Mon-El feels like a gender panic and also a heteronormative panic to me.  And it is absolutely NOT the actor.  He’s clearly fine.  He even seems like he’s probably really sweet in real life while acting like a complete jerk on tv, kind of like when Orlando Bloom tries to play a villain, and it’s like, yeah, no, you buy teddy bears for your girlfriend and one for yourself to match when you do, don’t try to play me here, babe.  It’s the character, the caricature they have written.  When they could have written ANYONE - a thousand other men instead of this one.  So why this one?  

Keep reading

The Neither-Neither principle asserts that there is no truth anywhere that is not balanced by an equally true opposite somewhere, and there is only perspective and circumstance to determine which seems more true at any given time. To apply this principle to conjuring, wait until you are absolutely positive something is true, then search for its opposite. When you find it, oppose it to your ‘truth’ and let them annihilate one another as well as they may. Any residue you should oppose to its opposite, and so on until your truth has been dismembered and the passion behind it converted into undirected energy—free belief. By applying the Neither-Neither we can gut the meaningless convictions that obsess us every day and use the power released to cause the changes we desire.

Once free belief has been generated, the sorcerer must focus it into his desire without allowing the desire itself to contaminate his thought. To accomplish this, Spare made use of sigils—linear figures the sorcerer designs to represent his wishes. Sigils serve as ways for him to focus free belief into his desires without disturbing their unconscious sleep. By using free belief to burn a sigil into his imagination, the sorcerer pushes the power through his deep psyche into the Mind of God, where it can spawn whatever inspiration or happenstance he might require.

Stephen Mace, Stealing the Fire from Heaven (Phoenix: Dagon Productions & Heathen World Productions, 2003), 23-24.

I’m going to literally fight anyone who says something bad about McCree or portrays him in a bad light LEAVE MY COWBOY ALONE DANG IT

“This is precisely why I hate coming to these things,” Alastair grumbled, brushing the dust and grass off of his clothes. He had not been a willing participant in the hypnotist’s games, but had been unable to refuse. He should have protested harder. Alastair hated being made a fool of, and he hated having his mind messed with even more. Both those things happened, putting the already normally grumpy vampire into a worse mood. 

Alastair took off his jacket and shook it out. “Making me tackle someone,” he shook his head, sighing. He could do it, but he disliked when things got physical, especially without his own desire to do it. 

Night Call

A/N: To give a better perspective with regards to the room arrangement, each apartment suite has three separate bedrooms therefore Kai, Chanyeol and Sehun share the same apartment but each have their own rooms. I hope you enjoy (: 

~Jem

 Genre: Smut | One Shot | Romance

He walked towards me, only covered waist down with a white cotton towel, the sun highlighting his beautiful body; broad shoulders, toned arms, chiseled abs, defined jaw line, sharp nose, and hypnotic eyes. With a giant smile across his perfectly shaped lips, he approached me, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. As I stared at him in awe, glorified by his features, he raised his right hand and softly trailed it down my cheek. Leaning my head further into his palm, he chuckled, his low and delightful chuckle, adoring my endearing gesture. While we took a moment and stared into each other’s eyes, he started to inch his face closer to mine. Our lips, only a single millimeter apart where I could feel his warm breath on my lips, he whispered I love you before he kissed my lips….or so I hoped.

Keep reading

scrolling thru AO3 and reading HxH fic summaries and read a few school AUs where Gon sees the mysterious Killua and becomes attracted to Killua first…. 

This might sound a little cold but I honestly think Gon would not be THAT interested in Killua at first…. Like maybe a little, enough to strike up a greeting and just become regular friends. 

Cuz like… Gon’s #1 reasoning for noticing Killua during the Hunter Exams was cuz they were the only kids around….

If anyone is gonna be interested first, it’s gonna be Killua interested in Gon honestly!! Gon is the one who is naturally charismatic and charming without realizing. His earnestness and desire to learn about people is what gets people to warm and open up to him! He doesn’t judge (unless you’ve personally hurt his friends) so like… Gon is just someone you WANT to be friends with, someone that you would want to like you…..

Suit and Bow Part 1 (Rafe x Reader)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Sooo here’s part 1 of this story and to be honest I don’t even know where I wanna go with it yet. Please leave me some feedback I’d appreciate it ^^

Originally posted by marcusfeniix

You were used to bratty customers seeing how you’ve already worked at one of the best and most expensive clothing stores around your area for quite a while now but as you heard your fellow colleague rant about a specific one today you wondered if he was the most arrogant and ruthless one yet.

“I brought him exactly what he had asked for and he still wasn’t satisfied.” It didn’t seem like she would stop talking about him soon so you tried to interrupt her. “So he’s coming again tomorrow?” She told you he had left the store fuming with anger and disappointment but he would be back since this was the most sophisticated place to buy expensive suits and that was what he was looking for apparently. “I’ll take care of him then. Don’t want you to go to prison for strangling a customer, do we?” You chuckled. She normally never was this on edge since the two of you got used to such behaviour over the time but you still did your best to help her calm down. With a silent nod she accepted your offer and finally shut up about him even though you could tell that she was still fuming.

Keep reading

  • sougo: i hate hijikata
  • sougo: *is horrified when he finds out that hijikata went out to face a terrorist group alone and rushes to his aid almost immediately even though he knows he'll probably die, admits to gintoki that hijikata is actually a good man (to which gintoki replies with "so hijikata toushiro is one of the people you hold dear"), acknowledges that hijikata loves kondo just as much as he does and refuses to go and rescue kondo without him, resists his initial desire to go with hijikata to find kondo on the island because his job is to carve a path for hijikata, calls hijikata "fukucho"*
  • sougo: fuck that guy

anonymous asked:

Hey. You said delmos family deleted all their stuff and cut his communications... Do you know why they did that? A lot of people are worried...

There has been a lot of turbulence within his family regarding his gender and pursuit of comics. Unfortunately over the past two weeks in particular, this has escalated to the point in which they have deleted his accounts and cut all his online communications. I lost direct contact with him two weeks ago now, and his sister confirmed her involvement in deleting his accounts. 

While she claimed they were under Delmo’s wishes, I personally, from all I know of Delmo, find this very very hard to believe. (That even if it were to be the case, I can’t see it as being his desire without significant familial pressure). 

As we now have no direct contact (while i do have his mobile number, they have either turned off his phone or blocked me), I’m afraid I don’t really know what happens next. 

Sorry I can’t have more uplifting news for you..

Genos was a being of destruction. Whatever crossed his path was dispatched as easily as one would swat a fly. After so many years on his own looking human had become a foreign concept to him. Why bother covering up the demon within? Only Doctor Stench’s pleas for him to keep a humanoid shape and face kept the cyborg from becoming a reflection of what lurked below the metallic surface.

“Genos, you look different. Did you get a hair cut?”

He might have only been under Saitama’s tutelage for a handful of months, but to Genos the two might as well have been together for decades. The time spent around the hero had caused a subtle, gradual change in the cyborg. Slowly what was once exposed metal was being replaced with soft, peachy synthetic skin. Stocky strands of false hair were traded in for a longer, more resilient upgrade. 

“…So you noticed…”

Reflecting on his past gave Genos pause. What seemed like eons ago he would have gladly taken on the visage of a demonic cyborg without complaint.

But now.

Now his only desire was to become accepted by the man before him. To shed off the steel and wires that kept the two worlds apart. To break down his self-built barriers that taunted and teased at night, whispering he’ll never love an abomination like you into his ear while Saitama slept soundly next to him.

To be happy.

To be loved.

To be human. Again.

I did it for you, sensei.

anonymous asked:

I think you misunderstand what an extrovert is. In your reblog of the ENFJ Jason post, you point to stuff such as not trusting strange men on the streets (common sense) and not being good at making friends (difficulties socializing) as proofs of introversion, but they aren't. In many separate occasions Jason has seeked out people to work with, and even if it didn't work out, lack of social skills isn't introversion, per se, nor does extroversion equal to "party animal".

Not really.

This is a response to [THIS POST].

Jason Todd is a classic introvert, he is naturally predisposed away from social settings.  He ‘recuperates’, or ‘energizes’, by being in his own space, away from groups of people, and has spent years at a time on his own without any desire for socializing.  It’s more difficult to find examples of him being extroverted than the other way around.

A lot of people have a hard time understanding Jason Todd as a character, which I think is understandable.  He’s only been in a handful of titles since he was brought back to life (and a few of the titles he’s in drastically mischaraterized him), and a good majority of fans were born after his era as Robin ended.  Between the time and cost of back-issues, it’s really no wonder that a lot of his fans have never read his earlier titles.

So let’s take another look at Jason Todd.

First of all, it’s important to understand what comic titles not to turn to when it comes to Jason’s character.  These aren’t all bad titles on their own, but in each of them the writer strays into “out of character” territory for one reason or another.  In recent years, Jason has developed a history of being used as a plot device instead of as a character in himself—

*cough*

(Battle for the Cowl #3)

*cough*

(Batman & Robin #5)

*cough*

—which means that his character is compromised for the sake of another character’s story. Tony Daniel, creator of Battle for the Cowl, actually admitted to trying to make Jason irredeemable because he didn’t like that the character had so many fans.  In Batman & Robin: Batman Reborn, Grant Morrison not only played off of Daniel’s screwed up characterization, but actually added to it in an attempt to turn the Red Hood into Dick Grayson’s personal Joker.  So obviously I don’t consider either of these portrayals canon, and a lot of JT fans I know feel the same way.

Then there’s Red Hood and the Outlaws, the New 52 version of Jason Todd that comes with so many issues a dissertation could be written on it. I’d go into details, but really all I need to say on the matter is that it’s New 52.

The New 52 sucks.

Moving on.

So recognizing that those three arcs don’t do Jason justice, we can finally move on to the point: Jason’s introversion.  You point to “not trusting strange men on the streets” as “common sense”, but I believe this ignores a key aspect of life on the streets for Gotham kids.  Gotham, being the metropolis that it is, has a serious issue with street kids.   It’s one of the reasons the Martha Wayne Foundation is needed to run a number of orphanages.  Despite these efforts, there always have and always will be a number of kids growing up on the street.

It’s natural for these kids to gang together, either into a small circle of fellow street kids who can watch each other’s backs, or by joining one of the many larger gangs that provide protection.  We see this in a number of ways in the comics, such as during No Man’s Land, by looking at the origin and early years of Catwoman, and even to some extent with the Young Aquarians, just to name a few.

(Street Kid from Batman: No Man’s Land #1)

However, despite all this, Jason made no effort to ally himself in a social structure that would provide a sense of camaraderie and protection.  You can’t say that this is normal, because it’s not.  Human beings naturally drift together into these kinds of protective societies (See: every dystopian book ever), and hermits are considered atypical.  And it’s not that he was just “avoiding bad people”, because we also know that Jason was a part of the crime scene when he needed to be for survival.

(Green Lantern #72)

“I’m like you. I was born out on the streets, too.  I’ve seen things, I’ve done things.”

So Jason’s decision to live the loner life out on the streets was a choice, and it was the more difficult choice, but it suited his personality better.  What’s more, we know that despite knowing a lot of the people in his neighborhood, Jason hadn’t made friends.

And this goes on to your second point.

"…not being good at making friends (difficulties socializing)”

Let me make something very clear.  Jason does not have a difficult time socializing.  He’s actually very good at it when he tries, and the screen I posted—

(Batman Annual #12)

—does not contradict that.  Jason had friends when he went to school, he had people who wanted to hang out with him.  However, Jason didn’t go out of his way to include himself in social settings, such as after-school hangouts or activities.  It doesn’t mean he didn’t want friends, and it doesn’t mean that he never wanted to spend time with friends.  It means that, like many introverts, he was content to limit his social time without feeling de-energized.  

This carries on into his adult life as well, when I mentioned how during his cross-world tour in Lost Days to become as strong as Batman, Jason didn’t make any significant connections.  And lastly—

“In many separate occasions Jason has seeked out people to work with…”

Um… what?

Where?  When?

With a few exceptions, Jason has never been portrayed as someone who seeks out partners.  Those exceptions are Scarlet from Batman and Robin: Batman Reborn, Jason’s little “Be my Robin!” speech from Battle for the Cowl posted above, and Arsenal and Starfire from Red Hood and the Outlaws; and considering I’ve already talked about why all of these incarnations shouldn’t be used as examples, I won’t bother going into any of them in detail.

The only other real partner that Jason had was Batman, and even then Jason didn’t actively seek the position out (looking at you, Tim Drake).  I mean, Bruce literally just put Jason in his car and called him Robin.

(Batman #409)

That’s not to say Jason didn’t enjoy being Robin, only that it’s unlikely he would have sought out the partnership on his own.  In fact, I’d go as far as to say that if Jason hadn’t died, he would have struck off on his own a la Dick Grayson not long after.

The only other instances of Jason “seeking” people to work with is when he knows he can use them for his own good, and in each instance he’s kicked them to the curb as soon as they no longer serve him any purpose.  It’s not a matter of wanting to work with people, it’s using people to an end.

(Batman #641)

So no, it doesn’t matter that extroversion =/= “party animal”, because not only is Jason not a “party animal”, he’s not an extrovert, at all.  And since this whole thing stemmed from the MBTI type-index, let’s look at the MBTI character traits for extroversion and introversion, and cross out the ones that don’t apply to Jason.

Extroversion:

  • I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”
  • I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.
  • I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.
  • I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.
  • Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.

Introversion: 

  • I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.”
  • I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.
  • I prefer to know just a few people well.
  • I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough.
  • I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience.
He was a creature of easy physical promiscuity, Dionysian without fuss: once his desire was established everything of the body was sacred.
—  Glen Duncan, Talulla Rising

I heard this formulated best by someone who was coming to the end of his analysis: ‘You really have to love someone to leave her alone’

—leaving a person alone without immediately paralysing his/her desires and longings with your own contributions and solutions. This allows the other person to actually be different. Eventually, it makes a relationship, based on difference, possible.

This is the symbolic triangular form of love based on longing, and therefore it opens up the possibility for creation. The impossibility of fulfilling this longing means that any mirror relationship is a priori doomed to failure, for it is never possible to give what another lacks.

However this does not mean that it is not possible to give and to receive.

—  Paul Verhaeghe, love in a time of loneliness, p. 69
The Story (chapter 1 pt. 1)

Length: 2,517 Words

I really hope you guys like this first chapter. This series will be loosely based on the HYYH series, or at least my little twist and interpretation of it. I hope you guys like the next chapters to come <3

-Admin Kat

[Prologue]

Originally posted by nelliel66

Our story, our first story, is one of dreams. I struggled to write this. Remembering the mental torment of my friends. For no one knows true hell until they have risen to heaven, only to be yanked back to the burning cold abyss.

Keep reading