without enough time to make something really cool for you kiddos





So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

For @profound-boning because I keep bullying her into writing fics for me. So have some dadstiel + dean in glasses.

Fun fact: babies love glasses.

Dean and Cas weren’t aware of this bit of trivia until Claire came into their lives. Dean picked her up for the first time and nearly combusted with the sweet smile the blue-eyed girl gave him before her fat little fists came up to wrap around his frames and pull them from his face.

And it became their Thing. Any time Dean was holding Claire, he lost his glasses to the little girl. She liked to wave them around or chew on them and occasionally throw them at the cat. 

Cas warned Dean he shouldn’t let her get in that habit. And sure enough Claire was soon ripping glasses off the face of anyone who was in arm’s reach of her. 

The first time Claire breaks Dean’s glasses, Cas gives what Dean assumes is an “I told you so” look. But he’s not sure. He can’t see. 

He goes through a few more pairs in the course of their first year with Claire before it’s decided that it would be easier to switch to contacts. 

Fast forward a few years, Claire is in first grade. She grew out of her glasses-wrangling phase a while back but Dean’s grown so accustomed to contacts he doesn’t switch back. Plus, he no longer looks like a total loser at work wearing goggles over his glasses.

But one day Claire gets sent home with a note from her teacher. She’s having difficulty seeing the board even from the front row.

Dean and Cas make an appointment with the eye doctor for the next week. They reassure a nervous Claire that everything will be fine but their little girl will leave that doctor’s office in tears.

“I don’t wanna wear glasses!” she cries when they get home. “I’ll look ugly!”

“Oh, honey, no,” Cas says and strokes her hair. “You’re beautiful and glasses won’t change that.”

“Garth wears glasses and all the other kids make fun of him! What if they tease me too?” She starts to cry harder.

“Isn’t that the funny kid with the sock puppet?” Dean wonders and promptly shuts up when Cas shoots him a look. “Hey, look, kiddo. No one is gonna make fun of you for just wearing glasses. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re just a tool to help you see. And if someone does say something, sock ‘em in the-”

“Dean,” Cas warns. 

“Eh, tell the teacher,” Dean amends.

Keep reading

FIC: Go Easy

Rating: T
Pairing: Vetra Nyx & Sidera Nyx; f!Ryder/Vetra Nyx, pre-relationship
Word Count: 1,794
Summary: Sometimes, Vetra wished she could see herself the way Sid saw her. Maybe then she would have the nerve to do something about Ryder, instead of just hopefully, hopelessly waiting.
Notes: Post-‘Means and Ends’ (Vetra’s loyalty mission). No major main plot spoilers.
Also on: AO3

Took a few days for Sid to cool down. Took a few days for Vetra, too. Every contact who didn’t pick up, or gave her a hard time—it needled her a little, all over again. She’d spent time, dammit, not to mention resources, getting favors from those people. It wasn’t like she had to start from scratch, but the dent was there.

She saw Ryder’s side of it, though, as the days passed. That Sid was just trying to do something good. Those hazel eyes of hers soft when she said it. Ryder wasn’t usually soft, human or not, but Vetra got the feeling she was a marshmallow with her brother. It Scott pulled the genome for cats out of storage, Ryder would probably just laugh.

But that was Ryder for you: did her job, but didn’t dare take anything too seriously. Looked like a coping mechanism to Vetra. Ryder had been through a lot, the past couple months.

Before she could indulge that worry any further—she did too much indulging, anyway—Sid called. Finally.

“Hey, kiddo,” Vetra said.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

A reaction/scenario of being put in charge/mentoring a 13 or 14 y/o trainee for the members Hoshi, Jun, Woozi, and Minghao. Basically just how they'd treat her and how they'd act, just stuff like that. I saw someone request something similar on another blog and thought I'd request it here! :)

I think this is somewhere between a reaction and a scenario - hope you like it 😘 ♥ I wasn’t sure what kind of things you wanted included exactly so here you go!!


  • would honestly feel like such a big brother, and even you’d be able to feel it! 
  • upon hearing the news that he’d be put in charge to mentor you, the main thought in his mind would be “Am I cut out to do this?” but at the latest when he’s met you, he gains some confidence
  • you’d get along really well, at least after the initial ice has been broken
  • he’d take pride in mentoring you, and would make sure he gives you the best mentoring possible!
  • of course, he’d also be a bit strict in the sense that he wants you to get as good as you want to become and you have potential for
  • which is also why, at the beginning, he’d probably ask you about your goals and who you look up to, so that he’d have an idea of what he’s dealing with in that sense
  • answer “I look up to you” and he’s sold
  • he’d treat you like a friend, but he’d honestly always keep in mind that you’re quite young, so he’d in a way be more careful with his words than he’d be with someone older
  • not to mention that he’s even more caring towards you than others
  • and all in all he’d take really good care of you and always make sure you’re eating and sleeping enough (well, as “enough” as you can as a trainee)
  • so he regularly sends you messages like “Have you remembered to eat?” etc, and if you say you’ve been too busy practicing or something he’ll send you an angry sticker lmao
  • “Eat or I won’t mentor you tomorrow.”
  • it’d be followed with a laughing emoji tho, you know he’s rarely serious about that (but he is serious about eating)
  • Jun would also be quite honest in his feedback, at least after the very beginning where he’d probably still be a bit too reserved to be 100% honest about it
  • but it wouldn’t take him long to give you an honest evaluation and point out exactly where you still need to improve and focus on that
  • always makes sure you know when you’ve improved and that you also know just how proud he is of you
  • with some experience on getting feedback on it, he’d also teach you to focus on your expressions when you get good enough with a song


  • would be so excited to hear that he’d get to mentor you!
  • like literally as soon as he’s told about it, he’d be smiling really brightly and ask when he’ll start
  • upon meeting you, he’d want to get to know you, but he’d also want to see your level
  • so prepare to show your singing and dancing pretty much righ there and then
  • he’d watch carefully and take mental note of your strengths and weaknesses, after which he’d also ask you what you thought your strengths and weaknesses were
  • admits that he’s probably more help in dancing than in singing, and just laughs when you assure him that he’ll be able to help you with singing without a problem, too
  • Soonyoung would make practice as fun as he can while still making sure you get everything out of his lessons, and he’d feel so proud when he sees the progress you’re making
  • would ruffle your hair quite a lot, especially when you’ve been practicing for several hours straight and you’re sitting on the floor, panting while drinking your water
  • “You’re doing amazing, kiddo.”
  • would definitely help you find your own style if you didn’t have it already, and there’s no doubt that your confidence would grow a lot under his mentoring
  • much like Jun, he’d also be quite honest with his feedback - he wants you to know your flaws so that you can work on them and only get better
  • he’d get quite attached to you in the sense that he feels responsible for you, and does his best not to overwork you
  • shows his affection similarly like he does with Chan, and dotes on you a lot
  • ok I feel like they’d all make sure you’re good and healthy and taking care of yourself
  • like “Show me a proof that you’re eating well and I’ll teach you a cool move” and all that


  • would definitely be intrigued when he’s told that he’d be mentoring you
  • it’d be his first time mentoring anyone and he’d feel a bit confused about what he’s supposed to do, but when you start working together all pieces just fall to place
  • the age gap would be felt, though, but like most of them, he’d also more or less get that big brother feel to him
  • the beginning might be a bit awkward, with him not exactly all that open with new people and you finding him rather intimidating, but little by little you get closer and more comfortable with each other
  • with Woozi tho, you get the perfect 2 in 1 deal - singing and dancing are both included under his mentoring, among everything else
  • out of all 4 he’d be the most straightforward with his feedback, but he wouldn’t word it as sharply as he probably would with like, another Seventeen member
  • but that’s not to say he won’t be almost brutally honest
  • Jihoon would treat you kindly and always makes sure he’s not asking for too much from you, while still being the most demanding of the 4
  • for at least every other lesson, he’d ask you if there was something specific you wanted to learn, like a move, technique, song or that kind of things, and then you’d work on those
  • teaches you how to sing without straining your voice too much and is happy and proud when he hears the change (and when you excitedly tell him that your throat doesn’t get sore anymore)
  • treats you out to meals quite often
  • also wants to get feedback from you, too, so that he knows how to help you better
  • would also tell you some stories from his own trainee days, especially when he feels like you might need some kind of reassurance
  • “You’re still really young, Y/N, and I really hope you know just how bright of a future you have ahead of you. Just keep working hard and doing your best, okay?
  • and other inspirational words that always remind you of why you’re training in the first place
  • might not vocally tell you just how much he cares for you but it’s obvious in how he always makes sure you’re doing and feeling alright, even if he does that sorta discreetly
  • such a great mentor honestly :(


  • he’s the closest to your age and would probably be the one to befriend you the most in the actual sense of friend
  • but there’d still be the whole aura of “they’re younger than me I must be a good role model” around lmao
  • would, similarly to Jun, consider if he’s actually able to mentor you, but he likes new challenges so he accepts it 
  • in a way the opposite of Jihoon’s, Minghao would be rather soft with his feedback
  • like naturally he’ll tell you what you still need to work on but he always explains it super gently 
  • he’s also very patient with his training, and will gladly show moves to you as many times as you need to get it
  • dotes on you like the others, and often hugs you as well
  • much like Soonyoung, he’d also do his best to make practice fun
  • each lesson he’ll probably learn about as much as you do, since he’s not the most experienced when it comes to teaching others
  • so while you get good at dancing and everything else important, he gets better and better at helping you out
  • doesn’t really scold you when you make mistakes and instead just laughs it off like “Oh no no Y/N this is how it goes.”
  • having felt a lot of homesickness during his days as a trainee and even after debut, naturally, he’d make sure you know that you could always talk to him if you ever felt upset or homesick
  • meaning you’d probably have long talks after practice at times, with the two of you sitting on the floor and you probably hugging your knees and Minghao hugging you comfortingly and telling you it’d all be okay
  • you’d get really close to him and he’d always make sure you feel comfortable around him (probably even gets you some treats every now and then)
  • but yeah he’d treat you really well honestly like he’d be your good friend but also your mentor and you’d enjoy every lesson with him
  • if you’re lucky you learn some Chinese on the side
  • he’d quite likely also teach you some b-boying if you had interest or former experience in it
  • “Perhaps we can show our skills off together someday.”

Admin Scooter

Home: Part Three

Request: Can I request one where the avengers raid a hydra base and find an 18 yr old girl covered in blood and dirt? She refuses to talk but goes with them without a fight. Nat cleans her up and cuts her hair and recognizes her as Clints daughter that vanished years ago. When Clint gets to the room the girl breaks down and runs to him immediately remembering her dad.

Plus: Hi! So I really love protected and I thought maybe you could write something were Bucky is new to the tower and still only talks to Steve until he meets the reader who also had a shitty past … they fall in love and heal each other or something … just an idea.

Pairings: Clint x daughter!reader, bucky x reader

Word Count: 1,547

Warnings: mentions of abuse, sads, angst, also some fluff

A/N: Here ya go guys, I really hope you like it!!

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Four) (Part Five)

Bucky left you by the commons to go get a shower, smiling as you wrote ‘thank you’ on his arm. You were feeling slightly better now, and decided that you really should eat something.

Morning Y/N… again, your dad signed, looking at you thoughtfully. He still had a cup of coffee in one hand, a newspaper in the other. He was worried, you could tell, but you only smiled brightly and waved. You decided on cereal for breakfast, lacking the energy to make anything else, and sat down next to him once you had poured it.

The kitchen was silent apart from the crunching of your cereal and the occasional turning of a page. He finished his newspaper, sighed, and then turned to look at you. You continued eating, looking straight forward. His gaze felt like it was burning a hole in the side of your head, but you didn’t know what to say, so you used the unfinished cereal in front of you as a way to stall.

However, cereal only lasts so long and the minute you had finished, he swiped the bowl from you and placed it in the sink. Then he turned, now stood across from you at the breakfast bar, and rested his chin on his hands, staring. He seemed to be waiting for something, thinking, because he didn’t say anything and each moment that passed made you more and more agitated.

What?! your hands gestured wildly as he stared at you, but he didn’t reply. He frowned slightly, giving you a sad, knowing smile as if to say, You know what. It’s time we talked about this. You sighed, steadying your shaking hands.

Fine. Your movements were jerky, annoyed, but you knew he was right. But let’s go to my room. I- you sighed, I don’t want to cry in front of everyone else. You tried to keep your expression neutral as you said this but you had to look away for a second, swallowing and blinking forcefully.

You turned on your heel and left the kitchen. He followed behind you silently and it struck you suddenly that throughout the whole interaction, he hadn’t said or signed anything. He had just … looked.


When you arrived at your room, he closed the door behind you and leaned against the wall, once again looking at you with a solemn expression. You sat on the bed, crossing your legs and resting your hands in your lap. Then you shuffled and brought your legs up; arms in. In, in, in. You pulled your sleeves over your hands.

“Tell me what’s going on in your head, kiddo,” he said, sighing heavily. He sat in front of you, eyes searching.

You stared at him.

What could you possibly tell him? How could you tell him? You shrugged, avoiding his gaze and fiddling with the edges of your top.

“I’m not gonna force you kid, but this shit isn’t the sort of thing you can just ignore,” his voice was soft but firm all the same.

You reached out.

“Ok…?” the word was spoken as a question but he let you take his arm. You couldn’t look at him for this, couldn’t bring yourself to sign the words, so you resorted to your earlier methods with Bucky.

You bit your lip.

“T-H-E-Y H-U-R-T M-E,” he sounded out the words and sucked in a breath when he realised what it said but didn’t say anything. Instead he waited patiently for you to continue.

Already your hands were shaking and you felt tears gathering. You squared your shoulders.

“T-O-U-” you paused looking up at the ceiling, blinking hard, “C-H-E-D M-E,” his hands flexed and you could see him resisting the urge to curl it into a fist. Your eyes stung.

“H-A-R-D T-O R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R. P-A-I-N. A M-A-C-H-I-N-E,” you shrugged, swallowing again and closing your eyes, trying to shut out the thoughts.

When you opened them again he looked broken. Without warning a sob wrenched its way through you, shoulders heaving, and you threw yourself at him. You held onto him like a lifeline, fingers scrabbling at the material of his t-shirt. His grip on you was iron, almost painful. You shook in his arms as he rocked you back and forth, muttering half formed comforts into your hair. The pain you felt was visceral – physical; an iron fist around your throat. The moment was not pretty. It was not delicate tears and artfully smudged mascara. It was blotchy skin and red eyes. It was half dried tears and puffy eyelids. It was cathartic.

You eventually drifted into an uneasy sleep, the memory of a lingering kiss on your brow and a whispered “I love you, kid,” fading quickly.

“Mommy! Mommy, please. I’m so scared Mommy. Mommy, where are you?” Your voice was raw from shrieking, high and thin and weak and you were scared, so so scared. You were alone and cold but you had to be strong. Mommy would come for you soon. She was here, you could feel her. In front of you a metal door swung open.

“Y/N! Y/N?! Oh my god, what have they done to you? Shushh, shush, it’s ok. It’s ok. I’m here. Mommy’s here.”

You were weak, feverish and everything hurt. Your head hurt the most and the world felt foggy, far away. You were aware of someone next to you, stroking your head with cool hands but that too felt like it was slipping from your grasp.

“Pretty girly, come on, pretty girl. Open that pretty little mouth for me. The doctor says we should leave you alone now, says we’ve done enough as it is, but I don’t think so, pretty girly. He’s angry at us, angry that we interfered with his little experiment but oh well, pretty girl. What the doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

You awoke with a gasp, a silent scream on your lips. For a moment you were disorientated, not expecting the dark, and you realised you had slept all day. It was now one in the morning - your dad must have left much earlier.

You took a minute to steady yourself when suddenly a loud gurgle erupted from your stomach. You were starving. Tentatively, you slipped out of bed. You were still in your pyjamas from the morning – one of Natasha’s t-shirts and shorts and your dad’s jumper.

“Who’s there?”

A strangled cry bubbled up from your throat and your arms flailed as you tried to stop and slipped, landing in an ungainly heap on the floor. You had managed to make it from your room to the kitchen without bumping into anyone until now. You groaned and got up unsteadily.

A light flicked on and you were face to face with Bucky Barnes – the one and only. You waved. He smiled.

“What are you doing up so late, well early, doll?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. You shrugged, not having the energy or the patience to even begin to try and explain why you were up. Plus, you were still fucking ravenous. You brushed past him into the kitchen, going straight for the fridge and grinning when you saw what you wanted. You began preparing what you needed and then turned to him, offering him some.

“Grilled cheese? At one in the morning?” he asked doubtfully. You nodded and he shrugged, “Sure, why not?” You smiled and turned back to your food.

It was silent whilst you cooked but not uncomfortable. You thought over the nightmares you had had whilst you did. They felt real, like memories, but they didn’t make sense. They couldn’t all be real and yet they felt as though they were. You had been that little girl calling for her mommy, so sure that you could feel her.

You placed the plate in front of him and smiled, “Thank you, doll. This looks great,” he told you. You nodded, sending him a small smile before sitting down next to him.

Again it was quiet as you ate, with only the sounds of toast crunching filling the silence, until, “I have nightmares too, doll.” You almost fell off your chair in surprise when he spoke, having fully expected to eat in silence, with only pleasantries to break it.

His arm was already laid out for you to write on, making you smile, “H-Y-D-R-A?” He nodded, “B-A-D,” he nodded again. You sighed, wishing there was some way for you to comfort him.

You gasped, “What?” he asked.

“I-D-E-A,” he nodded for you to continue, “W-H-E-N C-A-N-T S-L-E-E-P, T-E-A-C-H S-I-G-N-?”

His face split into a grin and he nodded, happy for the distraction.

You had both finished your food by now, so you turned to him, pulling your legs beneath you on the chair and pointed at yourself, Y/N. He copied. You corrected him and he tried again.

“Is that you, your name?” he questioned and you nodded again.

Bucky, you signed and then pointed at him.

“Me? Bucky?” You grinned and nodded once more.

The next morning, the team arrived downstairs to find you curled into Bucky’s chest on the sofa, having fallen asleep after moving into the commons to continue your midnight-teaching session. Multiple pictures were taken, multiple awes were heard. Clint was irritable all morning.

Permanent Tags:@sgtjamesbuchananbarnes107th @psychicwitchphilosopher

Series Tags:@huntermichelle

anonymous asked:

Do you have any father Ushijima headcanons? like the type of father he would be 💛 thank youuu

As a matter of fact, I do, anon. It’s a problem because I am so fucking weak for soft!Ushi that it’s sort of an issue (ask admin Alyx lolol) so please enjoy
~Admin Emma

  • His parents were sort of low-key absent when he was growing up. He was sort of close to his dad, but he’s not really around anymore, and his mother basically stopped hugging him once he turned five or six. It really affected him, and he vowed he would never be like that with his own kids.
  • He missed the birth of his first child. He kept his phone on him, but after two false alarms during an important match, he put his phone on silent and left it in his bag. By the time the match was over, his son was already born. You tried to reassure him about it after the fact, but he’s always felt awful about it.
  • He spoils his children with affection. All through their newborn phase, if they were crying, he picked them up. He just wants to hold them and protect them always. It low key breaks his heart when his kids get too big to pick up anymore.
  • He’s a sucker for the newborn smell. There’s something special about the way babies’ heads smell, and you catch him with his nose buried in his baby's’ hair all the time. It soothes him in a lot of ways.
  • He has 100% fallen asleep on the couch with the baby on the chest. It may or may not have been your phone background for a long time. You sent Tendou a picture and the only response you got was a series of screams.
  • He becomes super-dad pretty quickly. He has a sixth sense for when his kids are getting into mischief; he can catch a thrown or spit-out pacifier in mid-air without looking up from his tablet; he can silence bickering with a look. Sadly, he has no advice for his friends with kids. It’s all very instinctual.
  • Sometimes, he’ll watch his kids sleep because they are just the most amazing things in the world? They’re like a piece of you and him and he helped make them and they came out of the person he loves most in the world and he loves them so much. He sometimes gets a little overwhelmed and cries a bit.
  • He is super supportive of his kids in anything and everything they want to do. If they like volleyball, even better, but if not, then that’s cool too. He is at every recital, every art show, every game… he does his best to show his kids that he cares.
  • When he does bedtime stories, he high key does the voices. It’s a little silly but very sweet and his kids always laugh.
  • He allows himself to become a human jungle gym. He’s strong enough he can support the weight, and the children are having a ball, so he doesn’t really mind. He’s also very big, so he can imagine it’s fun for them.
  • Even if he’s just come home from training or a game and he’s exhausted, he’s always 100% down for playtime with the kiddos, and he follows all their rules. If they’re playing pretend, he plays along. If they say he’s the bad guy, he puts on his best villain smile for them. If he’s the princess, then damn it he will wear the damn plastic crown and he’ll be the princess (even if his princess voice is lacking.)
Down With The Flu

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 3,460

Warnings: mentions of vomiting, the flu, things associated with the flu, sam being a total sweetheart, fluff

Prompt: When the reader comes down with the flu, Sam’s right by her side, nursing her back to health even if it means seeing some of the worst sides of the girl he’s been falling for. 

A/N: I finally decided to finish this fic and post it. I wrote this back on New Years when I got sick, so everything in this is what I experienced then. This is also slightly dedicated to @impala-dreamer as she is down with the flu right now. Get well soon Beka and enjoy some Sammy taking care of you. (:

This is is. This is how you were going to die: tossing and turning in bed with what felt like a balloon swelling in your stomach. You were going to die, alone, at three a.m and nobody would discover you until probably late afternoon. You’d be rotting for probably 12 hours before someone found you. You were sure of it.

Between the constant tossing and turning and general uncomfortableness you had managed to doze off for another couple of hours. “Surely,” you thought the second you woke up and everything felt okay, “I’m dead.” And then the upset stomach returned.

Keep reading

17. A Love Bite (from this list)

nsfwish in things that are implied/stated to have happened — be careful kiddos \o\

Oh, was Adrien’s first thought when he woke up that morning, that was a good dream.

Really good, was his second, tinged with mild confusion and backing the tight, rough hum that escaped him on a sigh. He’d fallen asleep in his day clothes somehow, but even the scratch of the seams and the way his jeans were digging into his hips couldn’t put a damper on the buzz of languid pleasure that suffused him from head to toe.

His alarm went off in his pocket, something Adrien only distantly noted as he pulled it out and silenced it, head deliciously empty.

That had to have been some dream.

Keep reading

#8 Auston Matthews

Hi!! I love your writing!! Can you do an Auston imagine where you guys are babysitting a teammate’s kid and he kinda drops hints about how he wants kids?

I sorta changed it a little bit

I babysit this gorgeous little kid called owen and I love him so much he is the purest being on this planet. 

Song suggestion of the day: Boo by shortstraw

Song i was thinking about when writing this: Whatta man by Salt-n-pepa esp the line: ‘I think i wanna have your baby’ lmao 

Originally posted by mttymrts

If you were being honest, the best part about getting to know the wags of some of the older guys on the leafs roster was the fact that you’d get to babysit their kids. You and Auston had been together for almost five years, which simultaneously felt like forever as well as no time at all. When you’d first gotten together, you guys went out a lot more but now you weren’t so interested in the bar/party/club scene and more interested in hanging out at home with each other and doing weird adult things you never thought you’d want to do (okay, you’d gone to one winery for a wedding but still). Obviously, seeing as you guys didn’t have kids and weren’t sleeping off big nights out, you found you had a lot more free time than Auston’s teammates. Given that, you guys were happy to give families like the Bozaks a break and babysit for them. Kanon was nearing eight and the biggest ball of energy you had ever seen. So at first, when it came to babysitters, Zach had ALWAYS been favoured above you. You get it, the guy writes children’s books and he’s like the nicest dude ever. Heck, if you had kids, you’d definitely want him looking after them. Then slowly but surely, Zach was high in demand and you guys got a shot at kid-watching duty. Look at you now, regulars!

To be honest, you didn’t blame most of the parents for wanting to get out every once in a while. Kids are full on. But totally worth it. You could not wait for the day you got to welcome your own baby into the world. You knew Auston loved kids, but if he wanted them.. well you assumed he wanted them eventually. With you? hopefully. In the next few years? yeah, no. Which was sad but you totally got that he wanted to figure himself out first. He’d been in the NHL for seven years and hockey was a big deal for him. You didn’t really know if he’d even thought that much about having kids.

Keep reading

“Shoreline” by Andy Leech

AC/DC was blaring from the car’s speakers, the volume high enough it could be heard by the other cars that they would sometimes passed on the long interstate road they were traveling on. The music choice that played was for the sole purpose of keeping the two males within the car awake. Neither had slept well, and Gon could feel the guilt from that very fact eating away at him as he nibbled on some chocolate covered peanuts.

After all, when they had decided to stop at some rest stop to sleep last night, he couldn’t. No matter how many times Gon shut his eyes, sleep wouldn’t come to him. All that did were dark thoughts of waking up confused and the feeling of something lingering on him when there wasn’t anyone really there. He was paranoid, like most nights, and the medication wasn’t taking effect fast enough.

Knowing this, was the reason Ging stayed up with his son until sleep finally took over Gon’s younger form. It was also the reason that Gon had guilt pressing down on him while he watched the trees and mountains rush by due to the speed that Ging always drove at. He shouldn’t have tossed and turned so much, Gon’s mind kept telling him that as he chewed and swallowed a few more snacks to make his meal for that day.

Keep reading


pairing: dad lin manuel-miranda x child agender reader

word count: 2400

warnings: wow okay a lot of swearing, a LOT of name calling and discrimination towards the reader for being agender, abuse, bullying, blood mention, wound mentions, i think that’s it?

prompt/request: “a ?? family lin x agender reader where lin is reader’s foster dad and reader gets into fights a lot?? and lin doesn’t know its bc reader’s bullied bc theyre gay until he sees it up front? (bonus is reader nearly dies)” from an anon (i took a bit of artistic liberty on this request, but it’s generally still this idea) (i also… really hope i wrote this request right???)

a/n: i really don’t want to trigger anyone with this story, so if you think you could get triggered from the name-calling and bullying, you can skip right to the sweet lin part at the end. i really dont want to trigger anyone at all, i used a lot of references to try and write it as best as i could, and if anyone has any problems with it please dm me so i can change it! but i hope for now its still good! either way, enjoy! 

Lin was a good dad. When you were little, as soon as he adopted you, he had always taken you out to baseball games – or to the symphony – or to… well, to any sort of event he could get his hands on tickets for, really. He loved taking you out of the house on adventures, be it with friends or just the two of you. This was because he loved showing you off. You were his absolute pride and joy, in every sense of the word, and he always bragged about how wonderful you are with anybody who would listen. When you realized you were agender, however, you were scared about coming out to him. You were afraid that he would be ashamed of you. The day you finally mustered up the courage to tell him, though, went completely different than how you thought it would.

You and he sat on the couch, him with a hand on your knee, eyes filled with concern. When you started to cry, he looked alarmed and brought you into his arms, kissing your forehead gently. Eventually, you managed to splutter out, “Dad, I-I’m… agender.”

There was a moment of silence as he pulled away. His eyebrows knitted together in the middle of his forehead as he searched for the term in his ocean of a brain, trying to remember what it meant exactly. Then his face broke out into a gentle smile. “That’s cool, kiddo,” he told you, raising his thumbs to wipe the tears off of your cheeks. “Anyway, I wrote this song today…”

Keep reading

Double Time (10/24)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth.
Language, Canon-typical violence
Tuckington, Chex
Rating: T
[Hero Time Sequel] After the events of Hero Time, the city and Blood Gulch are prepared for the true return of superheroes in a big way. But while Washington is attempting to adjust to a new relationship and a new living arrangement, the call of new heroes and a new mayor mean major changes for his professional life as well as his personal one. How will the balance of values fare when his new partners come to test everything he’s made of.

A/N: Who’s ready for things to get SAPPY in here? I am. I’m totally read for some more sap. Which is why I wrote it. ;P 

Special thanks to @analiarvb, @secretlystephaniebrown, @thepheonixqueen, @ashleystlawrence, @washingtonstub, @imagentmi, @a-taller-tale, @icefrozenover, @matt-you-got-this, @notatroll7, and Yin on AO3 and tumblr for the wonderful feed back! I truly appreciate it more than you know.

All On His Own

When Wash usually opened the door and was met by Church’s unimpressed expression, he was a swath of emotions ranging from mutually annoyed to exhaustedly accepting. 

On that rarest of nights, Wash was relieved and – more than even that – had been the one to call up the annoyed former super villain himself.

“I hate babysitting,” Church reported immediately, shoving past Washington without even bothering to shut the door behind him.

“I know,” Wash replied, taking the time to shut the door. 

Keep reading

Not A Perfect World: a Nurse Offstill fanfic

In which my OC Nurse Offstill and Harold have a private talk in her office. 

A lot of students came to her office in tears, because of some pain or another. If it wasn’t a skinned knee, it was a classmate’s mean remark. A nosebleed, or Principal Krupp’s severity. A splinter or a broken heart over a bad grade. Nurse Offstill considered it her duty and her privilege to cure all of it, and cure it all she did, with her supplies, her equipment, her secret stash of biscuits that she shared only with the kids, and her sympathetic ear. The students at Jerome Horwitz Elementary came to her for care and support for almost everything. 

Well, it had been almost everything, until the day Harold Hutchins stepped into her office, looking deeply distressed. 

Without a word, Nurse Offstill put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door and closed it so that they could be alone and uninterrupted. She knew that look on his face. It was the look kids made when there was something eating them alive, a woe or a guilty secret they had to share before it led to their mental breakdown. Throughout her career as a pediatric nurse she’d heard more confessions than a priest. And, like a priest, she considered the confessions to be sacred and never shared them. 

Keep reading

For Your Convenience (Part 9)

Story Summary: To help you finally make a move on your long-time crush, you get assistance from your newly hired co-worker. (Retail/Department Store AU)

Word Count: 1,215

‘For Your Convenience’ Masterlist

A/N: Oh hey, another unusually long chapter for a drabble series!!!

Originally posted by james-barnes

“I’m going to turn in the money bags and the master till. You got the put-backs, right?” Bucky winked as you nodded your head, letting out a long sigh. “Just remember what I taught you and you’ll be fine,” he promised, grinning at you.

“I know. I just have to be confident,” you reminded yourself, plastering up a smile of your own.

“You can do it, Confident Turtle. I’m rooting for you.” Giving you one last smile of reassurance, Bucky carried the master till along with the moneybags to the cash room, leaving you alone at the registers. You watched him leave as the words he told you moments ago repeated in your mind. Heat rose to your face just thinking about it.

Keep reading

Then We Had You

Prompt: Children 

Summary: And just trying to absorb the reality of what had just happened. Of how their lives had just casually been altered forever. 

Rating: G

Word Count: 1700+

A/N: This is my second submission for the KagaKuroko Weekend Event. Their little ball of sunshine is an OC that @tetsucchin and I have created and sadly (not at all) love like our own. If you guys have time, you should definitely check it out and participate! 

Keep reading

[Ask RPedia] Using Commas?

Anonymous asked: This is an incredibly dumb question, but I’m tired of racking my brain until I’m afraid to post, could you possibly write a brief explanation on commas? High school had successfully ingrained in my mind that commas are a sin, along with the word ‘said’. To this very day I hesitate on whether a comma is needed, and it severely hinders my ability to enjoy rping. 

I am a genuine sinner when it comes to commas. I use commas everywhere. I use commas in my sleep. I’m pretty sure, if God were watching, he’d ask, “What the fuck is with that kid and his commas??? I didn’t make you like this?!?” He did not make me like this, I just came out that way. Originally the issue is a lot of kids do run-on sentences with them so killing commas saved lives. An entire 3 page paper with no periods and 300 commas? That was a thing. If you use commas right though, ain’t no harm to them.

This and “said”, is not a sin. “Said” was considered, for the brief period in which we all went to school, some kind of darkness because REPETITION IS HORRIBLE, but it turns out our brains completely zap it out of our consciousness. Jumps right over it. The bigger stumbling block is coming up with a ton of new ways to say “said”, which can sound fucking stupid, and totally makes conversations glitchy to read. Use “said”, it is a good word. It’s an honest word. It’s a word that works like background noises, sometimes the sound of the fan drives someone nuts, but usually we all just ignore it instead. Someone who doesn’t like fan noises ever existing and wanted to eradicate them eternally, however, yelled about “said” and fucked up an entire generation with a fear they don’t need.

So, let’s, go, bitch, about, commas, under, the, read, more, shall, we?

Keep reading

Superpower (4) - Pietro Maximoff x (f)Reader

Originally posted by all-sorts-of-smuff

Words: 1564 (Wowza)
Pairing: I mean it continues with the Pietro Maximoff x Reader parts but it’s more like Maximoff kid x reader which is still cute
Featuring: Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers
Requested by @sexymackstan
So part 3 is when jasper is older and he has a girlfriend , she knows about his powers bc she’s one too. You and pietro love her but you had a feeling something was off with her. So you had Bruce and nat find out what the secret could be.”
Author’s Note: I realllly liked this request but it’s not really pietroxreader so i apologize if that wasn’t had in mind but i think it still came out cool since it kinda continues what happened after jasper grows up :) { @wintersdoll }

One Two Three


“Hey Tony, you need help with anything?”

“I’m good right now, kiddo. Bruce might enjoy your help, though.” Tony replied.

“I was just about to head out for lunch.” Bruce added in. “It’s been a long day. You want to join?”

“Not hungry. You think Steve needs help with anything?”

“Feel free to ask the old man. He might be training, he’s been helping Wanda with this new power she discovered, though.” Tony said.

“Oh, what about Natasha?”

“That’s actually who I’m going to lunch with, Clint might join us too. Sorry, Jasper.” Bruce cut in as he grabbed his things.

“Ugh, everyone’s always so busy.” The sixteen year old groaned.

“What about your parents?”

Jasper rolled his eyes and looked over at Tony. “They’re my parents.

“Good point. Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“I didn’t think she was allowed to come to the facility, you know, Avengers.” Jasper sighed.

“Isn’t the reason you two are together because you both are super enhanced?” Tony asked.

Keep reading