Some Hilarious AUs From the Last Several Months of This Blog: A Summary

Scandalore: aka the “Obi-Wan Was Secretly Married Before It Was Cool” AU

  • Obi-Wan and Satine got hitched in secret right before Qui-Gon died
  • Obi-Wan stays in the Order to raise Anakin and keeps his marriage under wraps
  • Obi-Wan and Satine also have a kid 
  • Anakin and Padme still get married 
  • Anakin thinks Obi-Wan’s going to out them to the council, Obi-Wan reveals his secret marriage instead
  • The Order decides to let them both stay 
  • Yoda and Mace are both Very Tired
  • Ahsoka babysits the twins and teaches Obi-Wan’s son to fight crime 
  • Obi-Wan gets a lot of shit from the Jedi for being a Duke
  • Anakin collects Duke of Mandalore memorabilia 
  • Lots of double-dating and group vacations 
  • Everyone is happy and Palpatine probably steps on a Lego and dies or something 
  • Yoda possibly retires out of sheer exhaustion when he finds out that Anakin has TWINS (Luke finds him on Dagobah anyways)

Accidental Pirate Obi-Wan: aka the “What We Thought Would Be a Good Kenobi Movie” AU

  • Obi-Wan can’t stop himself from fighting crime while in hiding on Tatooine 
  • He ends up starting a crew of do-gooders who overthrow the Hutts and then proceeds to traipse across the galaxy helping people in need, breaking hearts and sticking it to the Empire
  • He is maybe also a Duke and married to Satine in this one too
  • He is constantly foiling Darth Vader’s plans, and also hitting on him (and he is totally into it because obvs)
  • Ahsoka is an awesome pirate and Obi-Wan’s main sidekick
  • Rex is there and kicks ass 
  • Luke is the tiniest, sassiest crew member
  • Hondo is loving Obi-Wan’s pirate years so much 
  • Obi-Wan sings a lot of pirate songs and once impersonated a vicar
  • Someone gave Obi-Wan ownership of a moon at some point
  • AU of this AU: Anakin was raised by Sidious/never maimed by Obi-Wan and so when he reveals his unmasked self to his nemesis Pirate Kenobi, Kenobi almost passes out

Anakin Skywalker: Needy Boyfriend, aka “the Plausibly Canon AU”

  • Anakin is totally helpless and constantly asking Obi-Wan to open his juice boxes for him or kill bugs for him 
  • Padme is either annoyed by all of this OR is also totally sucked in by it because she knows Anakin requires a 1200-thread-count minimum for his sheets
  • Anakin texts Obi-Wan approximately 7000 times a day 
  • Obi-Wan is bad at romance and gives Anakin socks for Valentine’s Day 
  • Anakin is always claiming he’s going to die if someone doesn’t bring him ice cream soon 
  • There’s an offshoot of this AU where their Force Ghosts throw an extremely over-the-top wedding and Anakin is a total Bridezilla and I almost forgot about this and I’m dying now because @darthluminescent and I seriously spent WAY too much time talking about it

Anakin Skywalker: Active Impediment to Gardening, aka “The Obikin/Virgin Territory AU @albaparthenicevelut and I just made up this morning”

  • The boys are gardeners
  • Anakin is bad at his job but no one cares because Handsome and also because he’s sleeping his way through the convent they work at 
  • Obi-Wan is super into Anakin but pretending he’s not, as usual
  • Flower crowns are worn, bouquets are given 
  • Quinlan Vos is the best and worst matchmaker
  • Lots of terrible gardening puns/innuendo, probably almost all coming from Anakin because the boy loves a good pun and is not super great at flirting 
@evaceratops replied to your post: addendum to the Accidental Pirate Obi-Wan au -…

WAIT THIS MADE ME THINK OF SOMETHING. If Vaderkin was raised by Palpatine in this AU, what was Maul up to? Because in canon Palpatine also basically raised Maul, so… does this make Vaderkin Maul’s adopted baby brother or something? (Oh god, they would be THE MOST hilarious disaster Sith family.)

HAHAHAHA, oh they WOULD. Maul as Anakin’s angsty older brother and Palpatine as their mean dad who is too focused on his career. 

You realize Maul and Vaderkin would obviously eventually have a fight over Obi-Wan, though. It would probably start out as a “who hates Obi-Wan more?” conversation and very quickly become about which one of them Obi-Wan likes best. 


#there is nothing in this scene that isn’t amazing #from root in the background wondering how the hell shaw got out the cuffs #like she’s literally trying to fit her hand through the cuff seeing if she can figure it out for herself #to harold swearing he just seen shaw cuffed to the bench like five seconds ago and yet now she’s in his face #and then shaw casually eating like its nothing and ‘yea i’m really standing here..’ #like pls i’m dying #this scene is hilarious

@kitsunesongs reblogged your post:@kitsunesongs reblogged your…

And gardening gloves! And all this means, of course, that whilst Obi-Wan gets a constant eyeful of half naked Anakin, when OBI-WAN so much as takes of his gloves, Anakin suddenly can’t breath - it’s one of those things where the more clothes you wear normally, the fewer you have to take off to suddenly become incredibly hot. Anakin just became and 18th Century men confronted by some ankle. He faints.

#star wars#fic ideas#obikin#gardener au

I have to be honest, I wasn’t expecting to start my day with a lengthy chat about Obi-Wan and Anakin, The Great Renaissance-Era Gardener Romance, but I am delighted that things worked out this way. (And also, really, given my track record on tumblr I guess I can’t say I am totally surprised.)

I feel like Anakin gets no actual gardening done, ever. If anything Anakin is an active impediment to gardening because he’s just strutting around shirtless distracting Obi-Wan and flirting with the nuns. Meanwhile Obi-Wan has like, built several sheds and grows enough food for the entire convent and several needy families, and has a rose bush entered in the county fair. 


A messy little comic where Yuri takes a chance (finally)

Part 8 / Part 1

That’s all for now fam. Hope you liked my dumb little comic ❤︎

hamlvt  asked:

i saved the url scandalore on impulse bc of that au of yours & now i don't know what to do with it

LOL! Nice. 

Some Options: 

  1. Fill it with Scandalore fic 
  2. Give it to someone and have THEM fill it with Scandalore fic 
  3. Use it to exclusively like Scandalore-related posts, making it a sort of Official Scandalore Seal of Approval 
  4. Just use it for a regular blog and have an awesome tumblr username 
  5. Fill it with Obi-Wan pictures because why not

y’all i love lena luthor. 

the way she set lillian up was so unecessarily theatrical and like she went out of her way to get maximum dramatic climax. like iirc l-corp is the only source of the isotope so she could have just destroyed/moved it all and told lillian to go fuck herself in her office. but no. she staged this evil bonding moment (ask me to help u and i will) and even after effectively thwarting the plan, she made sure to put on her villainy I’m A Luthor show for kara knowing good and damn well the virus wasnt going to work no matter who pushed the button. let kara fly after a giant missle which then exploded in her face just so she could stand there and watch lillian’s reaction as she realized. like…who does that?? just to send an especially large fuck u to Evil Mom on thanksgiving. honestly, she could have called the cops 3.5 scenes ago what a drama queen. 


District Attorney Harvey Dent: A Summary