with-all-the-love-i-had-which-was-not-enough

AN EXCITING UPDATE FROM FIGURE DRAWING

OKAY so today was my midterm review, which is basically where i lay out all the stuff ive done so far and look over it w my professor and talk about it AND. AND! She said that all the stuff i had is good, which” ive never said about anyone’s work, i don’t think” (an exaggeration BUT STILL) and that she loves my line work. And she says im just. Good at drawing??? And she’s worries that im not gonna be challenged enough in the class at the level im at so she wants to get me experimenting with new materials and more stuff w figure-ground relationships I AM SO!!!!!

6

Happy birthday to VIXX’s amazingly talented main vocal, Jung Taekwoon! ♡

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"The next morning comes with the kind of sunshine that peaks out from between black clouds, so determined to reach the earth that it seems all the brighter for its struggle."

                                                 - Sleeping Dogs by uenaina

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Figured I had enough semi-coherent MSA doodles to just dump them all here. Wish I had posted the comic with Galaham a bit earlier because at the time it was just him and Arthur with that hairstyle which remains one of the funniest things I’ve seen.

I pick up the skirt,
I pick up the sparkling beads
in black,
this thing that moved once
around flesh,
and I call God a liar,
I say anything that moved
like that
or knew
my name
could never die
in the common verity of dying,
and I pick
up her lovely
dress,
all her loveliness gone,
and I speak to all the gods,
Jewish gods, Christ-gods,
chips of blinking things,
idols, pills, bread,
fathoms, risks,
knowledgeable surrender,
rats in the gravy of two gone quite mad
without a chance,
hummingbird knowledge, hummingbird chance,
I lean upon this,
I lean on all of this
and I know
her dress upon my arm
but
they will not
give her back to me.

—  Charles Bukowski, For Jane: With All The Love I Had, Which Was Not Enough

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// CHELLYOFRP MAKES A CHARACTER GRAPHIC - 001

I’ve figured I had stalled long enough in putting this out, so here it is! This is a graphic I was originally going to use for the RP I’m currently working on (which offers two different fc changes, hence the two different fc’s in the polaroid gifs), but I decided to scrap it and use something else. I made a few changes to it, and now it’s available for all you lovely people! 

  • one png + two gifs needed
  • the fonts used are arial and calibri
  • the music player was a template I used from vanellopewrites
  • the credit for the psd used is noted on the psd when opened in photoshop
  • do not claim as your own or edit and redistribute. 
  • if you need any help with editing this, please feel free to come to me
  • like/reblog if you plan on using

DOWNLOAD HERE

How did you find your shoot for Drama (maybe describe how you felt)?INTENSE AND OUTLANDISH

What does the word Drama mean to you?
STORYTELLING

Who (past, present, future) inspires you?
HOW WOULD I KNOW WHO FROM THE FUTURE WOULD INSPIRE ME? I THINK GARY OLDMAN IS A GREAT ACTOR.

If you had an Ideal role, what would it be?
I REALLY DON’T KNOW. I’D LIKE TO DO LOTS OF DIFFERENT THINGS!

What are you working on at the moment?
EDDIE THE EAGLE

What would you like to work on?
SAME ANSWER AS NUMBER 4

Who would be your Ideal Co- Star?
I’D LOVE TO HAVE WORKED WITH PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN.

What is your Favorite film of all time?
THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

If there were a soundtrack to your life, what would it be?
IF MY LIFE WERE EXCITING ENOUGH I SUPPOSE DAVID BOWIE

Which location ( country ) would you like to film in and why?
INDIA – ALWAYS WANTED TO VISIT

If you were an animal what would you be?
A BIRD- SOMETHING THAT COULD FLY

Alrighty, so I recently reached 500 followers which to me is huge and tbh I still can’t believe there are over 500 of you who like my blog enough to follow gosh I love you all so so much ♥♥♥  Here are some of the people who make my dash such a wonderful place and I only wish I could have fitted you all on here but you’re all so fab if I had then this would’ve been way too long a post. Anyway thanks so much you guys ilysm!

mutuals are bolded, favourites are everyone

A-E
addictivesam // allforsammy // bleedingwinchesters // bloodysams // brothersloverssoulmates // buttheyrebrothers // canonsoulmates // cheekyjared // clairvoyantsam // codcpendent // crazedsam // cuddlyackles // cutiepiejensen // cvddlecas // cvtiecas // daddycain // daisyjared // darlingjared // deanfinite // dirtywincest // engagingsam // ezekestiel

F-R
fixsam // flowerjensen // fuckedwincest // fucktoysam // grievingsammy // hearteyedsam // honorary-winchester // hopefuldean // hostofheaven // hvrtdean // jayspadalecki // jensenackals // jerktohisbitch // juicyjensen // kinkywinchesters // kissydean // mundanesammy // ohbela // peacefulsam // plaidchester // protectdean // rosesforsammy

S-W
samcentric // samhellbound // sammyatstanford // samprincesschester // samuletsam // savingchesters // shoelessammy // sohomodean // soullesssamxdemondean // sparksflycastiel // straysam // stripperlecki // suckmywinchester // sugarcas // tenderjared // thewinisinwincest // tipsysam // toughsammy // trustdean // voyeurcas // whiskeywincest // wincestwithpie // wndego // worrieddean // wowsammy // wxncest

+blogroll

i love how the two clips released of liz on the jimmy kimmel show have absolutely nothing at all about agents of shield

like yeah i’ve heard enough about this show now tell me more about how you used to scare people into testing people for chlamydia by telling them they could go blind, tell me more about getting drunk in hollywood and then realizing you had to be a princess at a children’s party the next morning

Once Upon A Disillusion...

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday, which means absolutely nothing aside from the fact that a lot of chocolate is going to be on sale on the 15th, and a lot of women are going to be sorely disappointed that their boyfriends still haven’t proposed.  Around this time of year I hear a lot of talk from people about all the unrealistic expectations we were fed as kids.  “IF ONLY movies had showed us the REAL way love works!”  Aw, boohoo.  You’re either watching the wrong movies, or you’re not paying close enough attention.   But don’t worry, I’m here to help you out.  

When I hear things like this, I like to throw it back and discuss our first doses of romance:  The Disney movies

I can’t tell you how many times I hear someone say that Disney gave them unrealistic expectations of love.  Really?  You know what that is? 

A crock.

Of.

Shit.

They gave us perfectly realistic expectations.  Disney movies are essentially a “how to” guide on spotting Red Flags and avoiding shitty relationships.  Allow me to prove my point.  

Let’s meet some of our Princes.

1)   Prince Beast -  Oh, I’m sorry, did I say “Beast?”  I meant “Prince Adam.”  So let’s take a brief look at Adam.  Firstly, he’s a rich shallow shithead who was so repulsed by an old woman that he wouldn’t let her stay the night in his castle so she didn’t freeze her wrinkly old head off.  Then, she transforms into this crazy beautiful enchantress and he’s like “oh fuck, just kidding, you can come in, nice tits.”  She’s like, “Nah.  You’re gonna be ugly now.”  Then he locks Belle up in a cage (so that her dad can go free, because previously Adam just decided to casually lock up an old man who was lost in the woods) and keeps her prisoner.  Thirdly, he spends a good amount of the movie throwing shit across the room and screaming at the top of his lungs at his servants. But he’s damaged so we love him.  Realistically, Belle falls in love with a shallow egotistical criminal with rage issues.  And she thinks she can change him.  Best of luck.  Your poor provincial town doesn’t look so bad anymore, does it? 

2)   Aladdin -  Does everyone remember how Aladdin spent the first ten minutes of the movie running around stealing shit and singing about it?  I remember that.  I also remember how he was being “granted wishes” by a magical blue floating “genie” and frolicked around barefoot with a monkey.  Dude was high as fuck.  

Jasmine essentially ends up with a compulsive liar who is not only a thief, but probably drops a little too much acid in his free time for his own good.  Get Rajah and get the fuck out of Agrabah.

3)   Prince Florian –  Little did you know that this is the name of Snow White’s Prince.  Yeah, that’s right.  We’re gonna start this off with a dude named FLORIAN.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, this dude stumbles across what could easily be a dead body in a forest and the first thing he does is kiss it.  I’m sorry, what?  Are you fucking mental or a date rapist?  How are you going to tell me that’s true love’s kiss?  If I stumble across a body in the woods the first thing I’m doing is running the fuck as far away as I possibly can.   Then I’m going to call the cops.  Then I’m going to get good and drunk and try to forget that it ever happened.   This motherfucker threw up a bold red flag called necrophilia and Snow White woke up and told all the birds in the forest she was in love. Girl.  Come on.

4)   Prince Eric – Ah, the classic tale about a dude who falls in love with a girl that can’t talk.  OH WAIT, THAT’S NOT A CLASSIC TALE.  Ariel get your shit together.  He found you stranded on a beach, you hadn’t fully learned how to walk, and he wasn’t really worried about the fact that you literally could not speak.  You’re a helpless doe-eyed woman who can’t complain about him not taking out the trash and he thinks it’s endearing when you brush your hair with a fork.  Yeah, I’d say this relationship is going to work out for the best.  He seems like a keeper.

5)   Prince Charming – EUGHG.  That’s this dude’s NAME.  That’s basically like meeting a dude and him being like “Hi my name is DOUCHE.”  Just go by John, or Brandon or something.  I don’t know, make it up but for fuck’s sake do not go by your last name if it’s CHARMING.  You’re clearly insecure and compensating and it’s embarrassing everyone.  Cinderella goes to the ball.  And this dude has an amazing time with her and is head over heels and then she runs off and loses a shoe and what does this fucker do?  He tries to find the foot that fits the shoe.  HOLD UP.  You’re telling me you’re in love with this girl and you can’t find her just purely based on the memory of what she looks like?  You’re just going to assume that if she’s a size six and a half it’s the girl you danced with the entire night and leave it at that?  WHAT? 

6)   Li Shang – Real quick, is no one the least bit suspicious about the fact that Li Shang basically kind of wanted Mulan when she was supposedly a he?  It’s totally fine if you’re gay but I mean, come on, let’s at least be honest.  ”Make a Man Out of You” was the closest thing to a gay cabaret piece I have ever seen in a Disney movie.  

As a single woman on Valentine’s Day it’s easy to find yourself saddened by your loneliness, stunted with the raw truth that one by one, your eggs are dying and maybe that Pinterest wedding board you made is better off as a “Things that I can eat that will fill the hole in my heart” board. 

But to this I say a firm no.  

Learn from the Princesses.  Rejoice that you are not them. 

You know what being single means?  It means you dodged a fuckton of bullets and you’re not settling and dating some idiot who isn’t deserving of your time and energy.  Remember all the men that it didn’t work out with?  That was for a reason.  Believe me.  Love shouldn’t be so fucking hard. 

Laugh with your friends.  Take every day and celebrate the people you know can depend on and love yourself enough to know your worth.

And if you sense that you’re a shallow dude with rage issues and a damaged heart who has an enchanted castle you should probably look into some therapy. 

Unless you have a library.

I might deal with it for the library.

It’s open for discussion.

Look alive.

Hahaha I came home and said hi to my cat and he meowed back. I turned to my stepdad and went “see? He replies to me!” My brother was like “Hello Marco! Hello Marky! Hello baby! Hey, hi!” But he was 100% BLANKED and he was right in his face and all. I turned back to him and went “Heya Marks.” In the most casual way I could and I still got a “mrrow!” back. I half-jokingly said “Haha! He only replies to me!”
Since Marco kinda likes my step dad too (but not as much as me) he gave me this look as if he was going to prove me wrong. Soon enough “Hello Marco! Hey, Marco? Hi! Hello Marco!” Etc etc ensued. No answer from the purring cat at my feet. All it took from me was a little
“Hello Marky-moo.” AND HE REPLIED. AGAIN. TO ME. NOT ANYONE ELSE.
They were calling him for ages, but I was the only one worthy of a meow. This cat has truly chosen me.

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Commission time!  I recently got sick and had to pay doctor visits plus medicine without insurance which ended up clearing my bank account. My part-time job, while very grateful for it, isn’t enough to cover all my bills and my brand spanking new insurance plan. Also, my grandma has been having a rough time lately and I would really like to help out my loved ones a little more.
EDIT:All images are high resolution digital files. If you would like it sent “snail mail”, note me so we can figure out S&H.
I’m opening up 4 slots for the time being. 

SLOTS
1. Habtoons
2.
3.
4.

FAQs

For more information or to save a slot please e-mail: zakniteh @ gmail.com (no spaces).

I'm Back!

Hello loveys,

Did you miss me? I SURE MISSED YOU ALL! Bless you and all your lovely messages and comments on my posts! Wifi was hard to come by whilst travelling, so, forgive me for being unable to reply to all but please know that it brightened my day so much more, reading them whenever I could!

I had the most amazing time in Italy!! Although right now, I’m so knackered and dead. Barely slept and mum is on leave (which means I’ll be quite busy the entire weekend through). So, unfortunately, I won’t be able to get to writing till Monday at least (hopefully I’ll have had enough rest then) but I’ll be replying all messages from before my trip to during!

I hope everyone is doing gloriously well and that you all had an amazing week! Missed you loads and it’s great to be back! Home and on tumblr! ❤️ queued up some delicious Tom and Lee!

     Today, I logged on and found that I had reached 400 followers, which is the best Valentine’s Day gift I could have asked for!! In honor of today’s holiday, I’ve decided to make each and every one of you my Valentines! My gifts to you are these: this crappy graphic, and my my sincere and humbled gratitude that this many of you liked this blog and my writing enough to stick around.

     Here’s some more sappy gushing, then we’ll get to the good part. I’ve had a few blogs on Tumblr over the years, all in different fandoms. Never before have I enjoyed and felt so incredibly welcome in a fandom before DARP. I made this blog on a whim as a distraction during a hectic finals week, and thanks to the amazing people I have met here I have never once regretted that decision. I’ve had some periods of inactivity, including right now what with school and real life stress, but thanks to the amazing people on my dash this blog has always been a bright spot and a place for me to come and escape real-world responsibilities and enjoy myself. I love Isabela so incredibly much — she’s a complicated woman who tries desperately to convince everyone that she’s not, and getting to write as her has been so much fun. But it wouldn’t have been half as good without the amazing people on my dash giving me the chance to throw her into the world of DARP. This fandom is kind, funny, talented, and so incredibly supportive. I love you all dearly and I would kiss you all on your perfect faces if you were into that.

     Now! Here are the people who make this madness possible by being amazing people and amazing writers (and if I forgot anyone I’m really sorry but I’m very emotional rn I swear I love you all).

FIRST MATES — a list of people with whom I’ve either written with or interacted with OOC who are fantastic people who I love

gotbloodonmysuit bloodydeeproads withdrawment altusboy rxghthand rogueblooded herorecipe guardandshield vatesvati tethrxs malcolm-hawke / lxxness lightofarlathan coeurdxlion rivainicharm aquilaoculorum visverbi dreyriadr imekarii prophetry defensorx malefxcar apostateslegacy dampenyourdivine madamiisms killerpigfarmer ofcrowsandmurder wardenofthearcane lxsttrousers hidinginhumor trxder

THE PIRATE CREW — those who I admire from afar who run fantastic blogs who I would definitely recommend (and I’d love to get to know them better!!!) and who I also love

vigiilance compatiors ofdxlish bythestone bythedreadwxlf txlani likeiron maythedreadwolfnever crownedoath hoboblaidd falsebride oathbonded ofwalks deslibertesheraldofdoubtarvilkiembjorndyrfxreballpfeilxbogenofandruilavasstaclassiimountainmagesolitarite

This has been an amazing four months!!! I can’t wait to keep going with this blog and with you amazing people. Thank you for such an incredible experience, from the bottom of my heart.

                     HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Shakespeare Sonnet no106

When in the chronicle of wasted time
I see descriptions of the fairest wights,
And beauty making beautiful old rime,
In praise of ladies dead and lovely knights,
Then, in the blazon of sweet beauty’s best,
Of hand, of foot, of lip, of eye, of brow,
I see their antique pen would have express’d
Even such a beauty as you master now.
So all their praises are but prophecies
Of this our time, all you prefiguring;
And, for they look’d but with divining eyes,
They had not skill enough your worth to sing:
For we, which now behold these present days,
Have eyes to wonder, but lack tongues to
praise.

Imagine #47 A spark of happiness

Request: A girl in the glade who’s not shy or anything and she’s witty,strong,clever etc.But when she’s alone she gets kinda sad about the situation they’re all in and Newt finds out and just comforts her,admits his love and they just sit there hugging?(Thnx)

Note: Here you go! I hope you like it (:

Newt x reader
Words: 1157
Warnings: None


‘’Can’t we just climb it?’’ You wondered, staring at the enormous gray walls in front of you. The walls were covered in ivy, which made you feel like you were looking at a jungle. The ivy looked strong and you had tried it a few times, it was strong enough to hold you. You took it in your hands, pulling to check it, you couldn’t be too sure. Then you started climbing. ‘’There has to be a way.’’ You murmured. You climbed easily and you were ready to climb as high as you could. Then you felt two warm hands on your waist, holding you, slowly pulling you down again. ‘’The ivy doesn’t go all the way to the top.’’ You let the ivy go and Newt put you back on the ground. ‘’Behind the ivy?’’ You asked, looking to the opening in the walls. ‘’We’ve tried it. Everything you’re thinking of, we’ve already tried.’’ You met his eyes and then walked to the opening in the walls, where the doors were. You looked at it. The gray stone didn’t really scare you. You stared at the walls, trying to find something odd, something that could help you get out. ‘’You’re not going in there.’’ Newt said, he was standing next to you now, watching you carefully. ‘’I’m not. I’m just trying to figure things out.’’ You sighed, you wanted to find something. You wanted to be a Runner so you could explore more. Explore the Maze. Discover. Find a way out. ‘’You’re clever, but you have to let the Runners do their job.’’ Newt spoke, his voice was calm and you turned around to look at him. A smug look appeared on your face.
‘’But I’m going to be a Runner someday.’’ Newt chuckled. ‘’Today is not that day, [y/n].’’
‘’Yeah yeah, I know. But I bet I’m strong enough.’’ You raised your arm to look at your muscles. They weren’t that big and you were just joking. Newt laughed. ‘’Admire your muscles later, time for lunch.’’ You could hear the smile in his voice and walked with him toward the Homestead.

You sat at a table with Newt and Gally. Alby was somewhere else and Thomas and Minho were in the Maze. You ate your food in silence and then all went back to work. The thing was, that you had nothing to do today. That was why you were climbing the ivy earlier. You had nothing to do and then you started thinking. Normally you came up with plans to escape the Maze and you proudly presented them to Newt. He admired your enthusiasm, but it made him sad to hear the plans. The  plans would never work, you just made them to pass time.
You walked to the Deadheads to take some rest. You sat down on the soft grass, leaning against a tree. You were in the shadow and the coldness felt like heaven after being in the sun all day. You moved your hand through the grass, letting it slip between your fingers. You looked around the Glade. If you didn’t know better, you would think it was a happy place. A place where everyone did their job and had food and was happy. But you did know better. You were trapped in a giant Maze filled with hideous creatures. You called them Grievers. The boys who looked happy working, were probably crying late at night, because they didn’t want to be here. There was food, luckily, the Creators sent them every week. You knew there was a way in, through the Box, but that wasn’t a way out. You had tried it a few times. You put someone in the Box, but then the Box wouldn’t go down again. Someone once went down with a rope and was cut in half. The thought made you shiver. You were glad that had happened before your arrival.
You just wanted to get out so badly. You couldn’t stand the thought of doing nothing. You wanted to do something, anything, to find a way out. But you couldn’t. That was why you felt hopeless, at moments like this, when you were just thinking. You felt like you had to come up with solutions. Every spare moment had to be useful, you had to think about the Maze. You couldn’t just relax and sit back, no. There was no time for that. You needed to get out as soon as possible.
When you looked around the Glade for the second time, it hit you. It felt like your feelings came crashing down all at once. You were trapped, surrounded by big walls. There was no way out. The walls didn’t scare you, but now it felt like they were closing in on you. You had trouble breathing, it became harder. Everything became harder. A panicking feeling started spreading through your body. You had to relax, otherwise this wouldn’t end well. You dug your nails into the palm of your hand. If you focussed on the pain, you would calm down again.
‘’Are you okay?’’ You saw Newt standing there, a few feet away, looking at you with a worried look on his face. You nodded and then looked at your hand. A small drop of blood was on your fingers. You had pressed too hard. ‘’You’re bloody not.’’ Newt said when he saw your hand. He walked over to you and sat down. The panicking feeling washed away and now it felt like you were overwhelmed by sadness. The only thing left to feel was sadness. Tears started to form in your eyes but you blinked a few times and ignored it. ‘’It’s okay.’’ Newt knew what was going on. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing you closer to him. You leaned into him, glad with the comfort he gave you. ‘’Do you think love is possible in this place?’’ You said. Thinking about Newt made you wonder about love. ‘’You wanna try?’’ He said, a smile on his face. You laughed. ‘’No I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t mind, ya know..’’ He was struggling to find the right words. ‘’What Newt?’’ You asked. ‘’I wouldn’t mind to be in love with you. No wait, that’s not it. I’m already in love with you.’’ He looked at you, an insecure look was on his face. You smiled, feeling a warmth spreading through your body and a tickling feeling inside your stomach. ‘’I’d love to try.’’ You whispered and a blush came to your face. Newt leaned into you, pressing a kiss on your nose. ‘’Best bloody thing I’ve heard today.’’ He chuckled and you lay your head on his shoulder. It felt like a weight fell of your shoulders. The sadness was still there but made room for something else. You could feel a spark of it, the familiar feeling that made you want to smile all the time. Yes, it was there. Happiness.

Alright! This is Mod Monodore here… and it’s now the moment you’ve all been waiting for! So, we had a really hard time choosing who to get in, and you all had such wonderful applications, to the point we actually decided to extend the roster by 4!!! And even though we did that for more flexibility on our part, we also did it because wow, we loved some of your applications! But enough, enough, I give you the students who will be going on their way to test the Harry Potter beta (which goes horribly wrong, whoops)!

  1. Aiko Tsukino, SHSL Matchmaker
  2. Akemi Saito, SHSL Mangaka
  3. Ayame Higuchi, SHSL Geneticist
  4. Bard White, SHSL Hitman
  5. Clausen Andreas, SHSL Snake Charmer
  6. Eri Yamamoto, SHSL Puzzler
  7. Gingham Cage, SHSL Knife-Thrower
  8. Hideo Nakano, SHSL Horror Star
  9. Jean “Remy” Remington, SHSL Street Fighter
  10. Kaede Matsuda, SHSL Nature Artist
  11. Kimura Chouko, SHSL Marionette Maker
  12. Lars Storstrand, SHSL True Crime Enthusiast
  13. Liling Shi, SHSL Ping Pong Player
  14. Lydinyk Nox, SHSL Storyteller
  15. Mari Yanagi, SHSL Journalist
  16. Nelly, Reserve Course Student
  17. Popiko, SHSL Background Dancer
  18. Rex Coleman, SHSL Archaeologist
  19. Saki Smith, SHSL Magician’s Assistant
  20. Seth Shiratori, SHSL Heavy Metal Star
  21. Sonoe Kawayanagi, SHSL Intelligence Officer
  22. Tanja Yilmaz, SHSL Folk Musician
  23. Travis Dell, SHSL Defense Attorney
  24. Tropi-co, SHSL Rapper

And on that note, I will be sending out Skype requests to all the applicants to add you all to a group chat for the group! Thank you for all applying and I hope we have a nice run! The sprites for the Hogwarts uniforms are unfortunately not complete yet, but we have still decided to release the roster nonetheless! The sprites will hopefully be complete by the end of the prologue week tho, and they’ll be on the roster page for you all to see! Also be aware, we will be posting the prologue stuff tonight, so be prepared! Prologue lasts a week!!!

For those of you who didn’t get in (or if you got in too), please feel free to ask for a review? It might be Mod Monosnore who does them or it might be me. We do apologize, and I assure you everyone had good applications and it was hard to narrow them down. I cannot say the review will come quickly, but we will attempt to do them as soon as possible.