Fists of Furi (A OPM Parody)

Okay in my defense, it was never my intention to write a Fisting Superheroes AU with AkaFuri. But @incorrectknb and @heema-wren are wonderful inspirations and I couldn’t help myself. And I used less obvious fisting jokes than I thought I would, so yay for self-control! :D

Okay, enough distractions. Enjoy the fisting!

The city was quiet as the morning sun peeked above the skyscrapers. It was too quiet; the streets that were usually filled to the brim with the fast movement of pedestrians and the sound of exhaust from the morning rush traffic were silent. Where there should have been food carts and newspaper vendors were empty curbs and crumbled fast-food bags. There was no scent of greasy food, no excited chatter of tourists or grumbles of businessmen. It was lifeless.

Crash. Almost lifeless.

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[ Continued from here. ]

          Akon, goddammit!! Stop secretly taking my stool
          samples to do tests with because there is nothing
          romantic or complimentary about that at all!!