with your friends (the long drive)

Zodiac Signs Inspired Aesthetics

Aries - beach parties, spontaneous road trips, tattoos, red hair.

Taurus - pierced nose, a perfectly organised room, eating burgers with your lover at 4.00AM, hot tea.

Gemini - bubblegum, perfect teeth, going to concerts, ice cream.

Cancer - oversized hoodies, colourful socks, lips tasting like sugar powder, string lights.

Leo - red lipstick, painted nails, perfect cat eye, fancy drinks.

Virgo - flower crowns, white long dresses, vanilla scent, picnicks.

Libra - summer love, wide beach hats, cat-eye glasses, soft moans.

Scorpio - playing the piano, leather jacket, driving to the city late at night, long passionate kisses.

Sagittarius - old books, long wavy hair, adventures in nature, photo albums.

Capricorn - rainy days, writing on a diary, listening to old music, cats.

Aquarius - blue hair, star gazing, drinking vodka with your friends at a park, walls filled with graffiti.

Pisces - dream catchers, baby blue eyes, colourful stationery, morning coffee.

lmao u know you’ve gone crazy after driving for so long that your friend starts saying shit like “honestly i really do love trees. i feel like australia has quite a lot of trees honestly”

aesthetics for the signs

aries: fairy lights, ripped fishnets, disco balls, neon signs, movie tickets, concerts, roller blading rinks, train tickets, listening to a good song for the first time, watching scary movies with friends, screaming until you lose your voice.

taurus: flushed cheeks, playing in the snow, staying up all night to talk to someone you like, caring for someone, hugs, travelling, the sound of a pen scratching against paper, twirling around in a pretty dress.

gemini: finishing a paper ten minutes before its due, sending a risky text, ripped skinny jeans, storm clouds, standing in the rain, screaming into your pillow, making out with someone for hours, blasting your music.

cancer: the colour blue, grocery shopping, holding hands, love confessions, cherry blossoms, sexual tension, making bad decisions, motorcycles, coffee shops, cotton candy, spicy food, sweet talking your way out of things.

leo: long eyelashes, dimples, the feeling of freedom, dancing without a care in the world, buying clothes without looking at the price, lattes, face masks, sharp eyeliner, waterfalls, smirking, making people jealous, blankets fresh out of the dryer.

virgo: campfires, stargazing, old books, rainy days, modern buildings, a steamed up mirror, the rooftop of a building, breathless laughter, the glow of your phone at night, dipping your feet into a swimming pool, a shy kiss on the cheek, glittery eyeshadow.

libra: having someone play with your hair, flirty texts, the colour pink, red roses, high heels, long hair blowing in the wind, hands on your thighs, scented candles, being complimented, kissing someone you like for the first time.

scorpio: spending all your money on concert tickets, bruised lips, getting drunk for the first time, pressed flowers, glitter, polaroids, red lipstick, laughing at 2am, whispering secrets, piercings, making eye contact with someone you like.

sagittarius: an adrenaline rush, ignoring texts, knee high socks, smashing a window, staying out until 5am, freckles, stickers, the colour yellow, cursive writing, museums, laughing at silly jokes, discussing conspiracy theories.

capricorn: city skylines, chocolate, red wine, being pampered, lace bras, silk robes, bubble baths, smelling flowers, bubblegum, piano music, rose petals on silk sheets, expensive perfume, driving down an empty highway at 3am.

aquarius: coloured hair, hot chocolate, a field of flowers, taking long showers, smiling until your cheeks hurt, drinking with friends, the sound of a movie quietly playing in the background as you fall asleep.

pisces: hickeys, ripped denim jackets, bumble bees, rain gently pattering against your window as you try to fall asleep, fluffy clouds, receipts, sunsets, biting your lips, messy eyeliner, discovering new places, scented candles.

the signs as girlfriends

💞aries💞: always laughing and joking with you. playful smacks on the arm and always wants to wrestle, but whines if she gets hurt even though she started it. always looks at you in this special way that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. jaw kisses and butt touching.
💞taurus💞: literally invites you over to nap with her. wants to do the simple things with you, like taking baths together and falling asleep in the same bed. buys you lots of gifts and brings you food home anytime she goes somewhere.
💞gemini💞: always wants to go somewhere amazing. she wants to go places and see things with you. has her arm around your waist all the time and has this airy laughter that you could never forget.
💞cancer💞: very domestic. she wants to cook for you and do your laundry and wants you to live with her a month after you start dating. the warmest big spoon and always kisses your forehead. she loves to watch movies with you and just spend time together.
💞leo💞: you two can have fun together anywhere. she wants to go to walmart in the middle of the night just to run around and laugh and hold your hand. loves kisses and pda, she’s always showing you off because she’s proud of you. lots of dates and cheap thrills.
💞virgo💞: the girlfriend that’s like your best friend. she always wants to hang out and watch tv, and she’s always got something to talk about. probably organizes your room for you just because it’s driving her nuts and hardly mentions it even happened. loves to sit in your lap and talk about the world.
💞libra💞: sappy romantic. she loves traditional dinner dates and when you buy her roses. she celebrates valentine’s day like it’s fucking christmas and she loves to buy you gifts. always kissing your knuckles and telling you she loves you.
💞scorpio💞: she loves to spend time with you more than anything. tons of just hanging out at your house and watching netflix and talking about your feelings. she loves to cuddle and she’s always dtf. very playful and loves to mess with you.
💞sagittarius💞: the type of girlfriend that always wants to go sightseeing and hiking. always dragging you along by your hand because she moves so fast. she always has something to talk about and loves to kiss your cheeks.
💞capricorn💞: she’s always in the mood to cuddle. she’ll give you long hugs or random passionate kisses to tell you she loves you. always telling you things like “be careful” and “drive safe” and brushing your hair out of your face. always telling you about her big ideas and plans.
💞aquarius💞: your best friend above all else, she wants to do everything with you. always surprising you with gifts and dates and loves to jump into your arms. the type of girlfriend who’s happy just to have you around and doesn’t care what you’re doing.
💞pisces💞: super sweet and always wants your attention. she’s always touching you somehow and telling you about the random stuff she’s thinking about. loves to hold your hand and nuzzle you, and hates sleeping without you.

what the houses are...

Ravenclaw is… starting that new project without finishing the one from yesterday, messy rooms, 3am talks, theology textbook one day and Stephen King novel the next, cloud watching, star gazing, cups of tea paired with random musings, quirky nicknames, having someone constantly read your feelings, a wonderful kind of sleepy, knee high socks, coffee dates in little cafes, re-reading favourite childhood books, art time-lapses, constant fiddling,

Hufflepuff is… when you grip someone’s hand mid horror-movie, blanket forts, the feeling of taking off your bra at the end of the day, when you find that perfect gift for someone, ice cream dates on sunny days, knowing there’s a shoulder to cry on if you need it, the fuzzy feeling of making someone smile, pep talks, toasting marshmallows, falling asleep on someone’s shoulder, moments of ‘holy crap that’s the time?’, walking on newly fallen autumn leaves, swing sets,

Gryffindor is… when the teacher says you’ll be working in pairs and you and your friend immediately look at each other, the sting of a good hi five, when your stomach drops on a roller coaster, air guitar, laughing until you cry, snowball fights, looking up lame conspiracy theories, talking through a movie, smiling at strangers, getting into bed after a long day, cheesy pick-up lines, running your fingers through your hair, a cold glass of water on a hot day,

Slytherin is… late night drives, passing notes in class, telling awesome horror stories, the glint in someone’s eye when they know something that you don’t, fireworks, checking water temperature with the tip of your toes, truth or dare, marble sculptures, the satisfaction of knowing you’re right, scented candles, walking around in an empty house, hide and seek, collections, being told a secret,

harry styles track by track aesthetic.
  • meet me in the hallway: wandering the streets at two am on a thursday morning. rain hitting against the windows. half remembered dreams. laying in bed with your headphones on.
  • sign of the times: the last warm day of the year. too hot coffee. sitting outside of a party listening to the muffled music playing coming through the door.
  • carolina: the hottest day of the year. dive bars. the feeling of being in the middle of a crowd at a concert with everyone singing along. a cold beer.
  • two ghosts: growing up. sitting on the roof of your house and crying. pretending to not notice an ex when you walk by them on the street. missing someone.
  • sweet creature: driving with the windows down on the first day of summer. seeing your loved ones for the first time in a long time. iced tea. petting your dog.
  • only angel: the build up right before you kiss someone you're into. walking down a city street. that sweet spot when you're drinking and you feel like you can fly.
  • kiwi: heartbeat going a little too fast. being on a roller coaster right before the drop. going to a twenty-four hour diner with your friends and laughing too loud.
  • ever since new york: watching the sunset. saying goodbye. the moment in between being asleep and being wide awake after a good night's sleep. sitting in your friend's backyard staring at the stars.
  • woman: ducks.
  • from the dining table: sitting on the floor with your knees against your chest. staring at your cell phone and waiting for a text. the day you realize all the holiday lights have been taken down. realizing that this chapter in your life is over.
2

sapphic dreaming ♥ a wlw playlist

girlfriend icona pop / pretty girl hayley kiyoko / i really like you carly rae jepson / boyfriend tegan and sara / girls beatrice eli / what’s it gonna be? shura / girls like girls hayley kiyoko / on your side the veronicas / higher carly rae jepson / you’re the one kaytranada / roman holiday halsey / into you ariana grande / pretty girls little dragon / flesh without blood grimes / bestie sizzy rocket / jenny studio killers / only a girl gia / horizon luna blake / gravel to tempo hayley kiyoko / bad things meiko / stop desire tegan and sara / daisy zedd / love you anyway ji nilsson / talking body tove lo / holy pvris / all night icona pop / can’t feel my face kina grannis / drove me wild tegan and sara / 2shy shura / i love you always forever betty who / touch little mix / cliffs edge hayley kiyoko / cool for the summer demi lovato / blow your mind (mwah) dua lipa / starving hailee steinfeld / she likes girls metro station / then we kiss icona pop / my boots lights / sober vérité / you and i pvris / ease my mind hayley kiyoko / heartlines broods / bwu tegan and sara / mine phoebe ryan / mama say betty who / kiss and not tell la roux / we belong together myzica / how long jelly rocket / closer tegan and sara / rollercoaster bleachers / drive glades / cry baby fickle friends / touch shura / secret chelsea lankes / night go slow catey shaw / crazy au revior simone / hold on, we’re going home pia mia / midway bad bad habits / run away with me carly rae jepson / sleepover hayley kiyoko / apologize matilda / sway anna of the north / hide and seek love x stereo / be the one dua lipa / something just like this koni + adding more all the time!

[ LISTEN ON SPOTIFY ]

What The Signs Remind Me Of

Aries: late night cruises, loud music in the car. forgetting to do something till the last minute. dirty sneakers, winged liner, black ripped jeans. the colour red. sloppy first kiss, pastel bedrooms, messy sheets.

 
Taurus: flirty conversations, sexual jokes. the smell of coffee in the morning, falling in love for the first time. making cookies late at night, coconut water. leather jackets, comic books. pugs, bad driving. 


 Gemini: late night conversations, random phone calls. swimming pools, the colour purple, long lashes. sweatshirts, new clothes, reading books, watching Netflix, random movie marathons, popcorn. 

 
Cancer: warm hugs, watching your favourite childhood cartoons. oversized shirts, crying alone in the bathroom. rain on windows, the light in someones eyes. vanilla scented candles. video games. 


 Leo: dark red lipstick, nice clothes, long hair. gold glitter, getting over your first heartbreak. neon signs, falling in love, music festivals, laughing. looking in the mirror. expensive things. red roses, partying with friends. 

 Virgo: helping someone in need, floral anything, cats, clean carpets. writing in journals, stacks of books. tarot cards, sun kissed skin, blonde hair, the feeling of not wearing makeup and feeling confident, ocean breeze. late night adventures. 

 
Libra: fresh face, pale skin, soft voices. baking in the middle of the night. exotic eyes. strawberry ice cream. Star Wars, the feeling of being loved by others. puppies, summer weather. long hugs, heart warming smiles.

 
 Scorpio: cancelled plans, uncomfortable silence, movie theatres, the feeling of regret. bad baking, unfinished conversations, cold showers. horror movies. really mean “jokes”. cuddling with cats


Sagittarius: day dreaming, really bad memes. bonfires, hoodies. not listening to people, smoking with friends. smoothies, birthday parties, crowded places, thin hair, bad clothes


Capricorn: veiny eyelids, pale skin, pouty lips, listening to music while doing schoolwork. opens up about themselves at like 3 am in the morning. love story telling, the feeling of staring at someone you love from across the room. spa day, beach holidays. 
 

Aquarius: late night drives, stays up all night playing video games, the feeling of breaking someones heart, emotionless, concert lights, intellectual conversations, trusting someone with your secret, illegal drugs, band t-shirts. 


Pisces: coffee dates, brunch with friends, long car rides, loud music. the feeling of being unwanted by everyone, cute noses, pastel colours, pink lipgloss, “are you awake” texts at 3 am. big cities, brown eyes

╰◈╮PROTECTIVE SENTENCE STARTERS.

“ Where do you think you’re going? “
” I really don’t want you hanging out with them. “
” Where have you been all night? “
” I think it would be a good idea to get tracking devices. “
” I’m putting cameras up all around the house for security. “
” Don’t leave the house with the pocket knife or mase. “
” I think we should get some better security. “
” I’m going to get us a dog for security purposes. “
” You really need to find better friends. “
” I don’t think your friends are really your friends. “
” Okay, call me as soon as you get there. “
” Don’t you dare text and drive! “
” Please don’t text while you’re driving. “
” Is that outfit really appropriate? “
” I think we should go shopping for your new clothes. “
” He careful when you go to walk down the steps. “
” Always knock before going inside. “
” You have the emergency contact list right? “
” Are you skipping school again? You know I’m going to give you a talk. “
” I don’t want you going anywhere with those people. “
” You aren’t aloud out past ten, you know that. “
” Hey, I don’t make the rules around here. “
” You should probably stay home with us tonight. “
” Why don’t you stay home and have some family time? “
” You missed family game night for that? “
” That’s the second time tonight you missed family game night? “
” I can’t believe you’re dissing us for your fake friends. “
” Hey, why don’t you come out and socialize with your family? “
” Look, I’m just worried about you is all. “
” You don’t want me to take you to school? “
” Where are you going? I can give you a ride. “
” You’re not allowed to go out without one of your brothers or sisters. “
” You can go as long as your brother/sister can go too. “
” I put double locks on all the windows in the house. “
” I think we should move to a nicer neighborhood. “
” I do not want you out driving at night. “
” I dont want anyone out while the storm is coming. “
” Remember to stay indoors when the storm comes. “
” We need to go over our fire escape route again. “
” You aren’t supposed to shower during storms, dear. “
” Are you feeling okay? Want me to draw you a bath? “
” You’re sick, just stay home today and rest. “
” I don’t want you to be home alone. “
” Would you like to come to work with me today? “
” Why haven’t you answered any of my calls or texts? “
” You do not ignore me like that again. “
” I can’t believe I’ve been up all night worried sick! “
” No, you could get alcohol poison. “
” I don’t want anyone drinking in this house. “
” What happened to all that money I gave you? “
Self Care with the Moon (Astrology)

Nurturing, Self care and your Moon sign/placement

The moon in a natal chart represents how we nurture, how we want to be nurtured, our habits and our receptivity.

If you’re feeling tense, anxious or in need of self care and nurturing, look to your moon sign for some help as to how you can take better care of your emotional well being.

Moon in Aries/1st House/conjunct the AC from the 12th
- Express your emotions to others upfront
- Take care of your appearance
- Do jobs for yourself, you’ll feel better being independent
- Have that emotional blow up, don’t hold it in
- Don’t sit around wallowing in your emotions. Get up, and go DO something, take initiative
- You want to cry? Do it….
- Be in solitude sometimes (if your moons in the first house, you’re quite receptive to other people’s emotions. You need to get away from that from time to time)

Moon in Taurus/2nd House
- Material comforts such as good food, a soft bed, and comfy clothes will greatly help nurture you
- Having a well balanced bank account
- Write down 5 things a day that you value (about yourself, and/or what you have - not what you want). A gratitude diary would be great!
- Listening to music (or making music if you like to) will help you relax. Also painting and sculpting
- Hugs! Physically holding another will help you relax
- Nice smelling perfumes on your body or in your house
- Using Body moisturiser and beauty products

Moon in Gemini/3rd House
- Talk about your feelings
- Get out of the house and go for short trips around your neighbourhood/local area. Being in your house for too long will make you agitated
- Talk to others, In real life or online. Prolonged solitude can make you feel lonely very quickly (Facebook/Snapchat/Skype people when you can)
- Hang out with your siblings (if you have any/if your moon isn’t afflicted). If you don’t have any siblings, cousins and neighbours you’re close to is also great!
- Write things down, especially about how your feeling. You may enjoy journaling

Moon in Cancer/4th House/Conjunct the Ic (possibly from the 3rd House)
- Hugs Hugs Hugs!
- Cook/eat your favourite food
- Spend time at home (if you’re a 3rd House moon conjunct the IC, go out for short trips then come home to relax - you kinda need both)
- Be with your mother/family (if your mother is present/if your moon isn’t afflicted)
- Nurture others
- Be with children
- Cry on someone’s shoulder, it’s ok!
- Snuggle in bed

Moon in Leo/5th House
- Be generous and spread happiness to others
- Take the spotlight (but don’t be too greedy)
- Let people know how you really feel (don’t be too pushy about it)
- Express your creativity!
- Dance if you want to!
- Watch a comedy or joke around with friends
- Play games with children/Release your inner child
- Party 🎉
- Play games!
- Express your love to your lover. Give and get kisses and cuddles you deserve

Moon in Virgo/6th House
- Take care of your health. Take your medication, eat healthy and exercise
- Do yoga
- Make a ‘To-do’ list and calendars. You’re naturally emotionally stressed, make it easy for yourself by planning things
- Keep your house and environment organised and clean
- Pamper yourself by being well groomed and hygienic
- Relax in a spa bath
- Enjoy a healthy meal
- Make goals for yourself and aim to achieve them
- Help someone else out. Be of service
- If you aren’t feeling great, ask someone to do some jobs for you. It’s only fair

Moon in Libra/7th House/Conjunct the DES from the 6th
- Make art. Draw and paint
- Make yourself look beautiful. Wear your favourite outfit, get your hair/makeup done
- Listen to music
- Talk to others and close friends
- Spend time with a romantic lover
- Do something nice for someone
- Settle/balance an argument
- Weigh the pros and cons to making a decision
- Beautify your home and environment

Moon in Scorpio/8th House
- You’re emotions are so intense, you may need to seclude yourself fairly often from people. Take time out with yourself to avoid emotional strain
- Spend time 'going within’ yourself. You can do this through mediation or simply self contemplation. You have a need to know yourself.
- You need to protect your vulnerability. Find someone you can trust 100% to tell your feelings to, for you need a channeled way of release
- You can purge excess emotion and passion through sex and connecting with someone on a higher level
- Share your feelings with those you truly trust

Moon in Sagittarius/9th House
- Go for a long drive/bus/train trip. Explore your local area, or if you can, take a trip to a nearby town. Explore your sense of adventure
- You probably generally don’t like to think/talk about your emotions, and your resilience allows you to support yourself
- Enjoy the company of good friends. Laugh and have a good time
- You may enjoy watching a comedy
- Ask yourself the biggest questions of life and let your mind wander in the possibilities. It brings you ease knowing that everything happens for a reason, allowing you to maintain your optimism

Moon in Capricorn/10th House/Conjunct the MC from the 9th
- You like Scorpio moon folk, tend to prefer to keep your emotions under wraps
- You make like to literally 'work’ your problems out. Doing jobs and focusing on goals allows you to gain satisfaction of achievement
- At times, you may feel lonely and cut off from others. This is often self imposed. Don’t be afraid to open to others who you feel comfortable with
- Like Virgo moons, setting your self job lists can help give you direction, removing any feelings of being at a loss with life
- Spend sometime away from people who try to pry you open all the time as this can really stress you out

Moon in Aquarius/11th House
- You’re emotional wellbeing may not be the focus of your life, and you have great difficulty expressing your feelings to others
- You have the ability to logically analyse your emotions and fix things in your external environment that’s causing you problems
- Change things in your home/environment often to keep yourself stimulated
- Perhaps spend time partaking in humanitarian causes
- Talk to anyone and everyone. Being part of society can make you feel quite buzzed

Moon in Pisces/12th House
- Your emotions are highly sensitive and you are greatly sensitive to the emotions of others. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people or if that’s not possible, find a secluded space
- You react to emotional stimulus quite easy. Listen to happy music or watch a funny, lighthearted movie
- Never blame yourself for something you know you didn’t do. Don’t give into pieces victim mentality. Tell yourself the truth always
- Learn how to set yourself boundaries and don’t give into everyone all of the time. It’s great to be loving and generous, but you need to also take care of yourself
- Watch movies or play games that really draws you in and allows your imagination to run freely in a channeled way

©ellie-mae-astrology on Tumblr

8

David Bowie references

  1. Oh, You Pretty Things:  Oh, you pretty things. Don’t you know you’re driving your Mamas and Papas insane?…
  2. Rebel, Rebel: You’ve got your transmission and your live wire. You got your cue line and a handful of ludes…
  3. Space Oddity:  Ground Control to Major Tom. Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong. Can you hear me, Major Tom?…
  4. Life On Mars?: Take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy. Oh man! Wonder if he’ll ever know…
  5. Under Pressure:  It’s the terror of knowing what the world is about. Watching some good friends screaming…
  6. Cat People:  It’s been so long. And I’ve been putting out fire with gasoline
  7. Starman: There’s a starman waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us…
AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me

Gryffindors are bright mornings, leaves dripping in gold. They’re the trailblazers, unafraid of the road ahead. They’re laughing so loud your stomach hurts, the knowledge that your friends are right behind you wherever you go. They’re ice skating with someone you love, clinging on to them for dear life. They’re make-believe games with quests and dragons and swords pointing at the sky. They’re rosy cheeks, winter winds and freezing hands. They’re the adrenaline when a plane takes off, the drop at the top of a rollercoaster. They’re delighted screams and freedom, the wind through your hair. They’re panting, pillow fights, feathers bursting into the air. They’re finger painting and festivals and burning sunsets. They’re the burn in your lung after chasing something you’ll never be able to catch. 

Hufflepuffs are honey and flowers and the soft autumn sun. They’re knitted jumpers and scarves and soft tan boots. They’re fresh air and nature, the sound of birds singing. They’re rolling down a hill in the spring, grass stains on your knees, daisy chains in your hair. They’re waving at someone across a crowded room, bright smiles and laughter. They’re coming home after a long day and seeing your family. They’re playing fetch with your dog, your cat weaving between your feet. They’re fluffy socks and song birds and kraft notebooks with hand drawn patterns. They’re throw cushions on a bed, a tiny cottage surrounded by wilderness. They’re the ground beneath your feet, the air that you breathe. They’re the light you chase when you thought you’d never see the morning. 

Ravenclaws are leather bound books and overstocked libraries. They’re waking up at two am to google that thing that’s bugging you. They’re journals with half the words crossed out, scribbles and ink stains and missing pages. They’re stretching when you’ve been hunched over all day, rolling off the edge of a bed, burrowing in blankets. They’re torch light and held breaths and reverent whispers. They’re the entire night sky and everything beyond it; the embodiment of the universe. They’re desperate searches and hidden castles and ghost stories by firelight. They’re the mystery of a dark corridor, the force of a whirlwind. They’re the excitement of discovery, the rustle of crunched up paper. They’re the last whisper before you fall asleep. 

Slytherins are foggy hillsides and picturesque landscapes. They’re hand written love notes and subtle glances across a classroom. They’re black boots, long coats, buttons done up to the top. They’re tipping your head back to breathe the air, kicking up stones on a deserted path. They’re mirrored lakes, everything below the surface. They’re the confidence to get something right, the feel of magic in your fingertips. They’re holding your breath underwater, pretending to be a mermaid when you swim. They’re finding that one song that makes you want to create a storm. They’re the chill in the breeze, the force in the tide. They’re enchanted forests and lingering glances and long drives. They’re the lightning and the thunder and everything in between. 

Something I’ve run into quite a lot while doing the whole “project manager” thing is artist who are openly hostile to the idea of engaging with the “business side” of what they do. There’s this broad perception that that business side of art means advertising and merchandising and selling out, and while it certainly can mean that, a lot of it is much more basic - and it’s stuff that’s absolutely not optional if art is anything beyond a personal fun-time hobby for you.

Stuff like:

1. Having reality-based metrics for time and resource commitment - or, in plain English, making sure that what you’re charging for your commissions is actually based on how hard they are to do.

It’s downright shocking how rare this is. I’ve encountered digital artists who routinely charge less for a spec that takes them much longer to do based on purely abstract notions of how “complex” the piece is, without reference to their actual, demonstrable time commitment. Heck, I’ve run into a traditional artist who ended up making nickles per hour for a major commission because she hadn’t correctly tallied up the cost of the art supplies expended in producing it!

The only way to arrive at appropriate metrics is based on evidence; your off-the-cuff estimates will always, always be wrong. Literally time yourself as you work on pieces of various types, and write down how long it took you. And never assume that it will be quicker next time; that’s called the planning fallacy, and it will eat you alive if you let it.

2. Having a lifecycle management plan for the tools you need to work.

Tablets don’t last forever. Neither do computers. Even software can become so outdated and incompatible as to lose utility over time. Basically, your tools have a finite lifespan, and you need to have a plan for replacing them as needed.

I understand that many independent artists don’t have the means to save up for new and replacement tools, and rely on second-hand hardware, gifts from friends and family, or donation drives on their blogs to fill the gap. That’s fine - artists relying on patronage has a long and distinguished history. The important thing is that these avenues be part of a plan, not a desperate scramble after some 100% foreseeable circumstance has rendered you unable to work.

Data on average time-to-failure for your hardware is readily accessible online; if, for example, that particular brand of tablet tends to last about three years, then you need to start organising your donation drive or dropping hints for your birthday at two years and six months, even if your equipment seems perfectly fine. The same goes for software; the vendor’s support window (i.e., the time after which they’ll stop publishing bugfixes and security updates) for your version of the software is a known factor.

3.  Having a formal requirements-gathering and signoff procedure.

I know that sounds like a lot of boring paperwork, and to be honest it kind of is, but it’s also critical for anything you’re not drawing for yourself. Language is an imprecise medium; based on a few minutes of casual conversation, you can easily end up in situations where you and your commissioner have totally different understandings of what the job entails, yet you’re both convinced you’ve understood the other perfectly.

You should have a detailed written description of what’s involved, and your client’s explicit, documented confirmation that they’ve read, understood and agreed to it, before you draw a single stroke. This includes timelines and deliverables as well as content; I’ve run into numerous cases of clients who’ve alleged non-delivery of services based on their understanding that they’d be receiving a traditional, ink-and-paper piece where the artist understood the commission to involve only digital work, and more than one case where a client started hollering about breach of contract less than 24 hours after signing off because they honestly thought it would be done already.

You have to nip that in the bud; this level of documentation is a bare minimum for anyone who takes money to do art, not a nice-to-have.

Aesthetics For The Signs

aries: fairy lights, ripped fishnets, disco balls, neon signs, movie tickets, concerts, roller blading rinks, train tickets, listening to a good song for the first time, watching scary movies with friends, screaming until you lose your voice.

taurus: flushed cheeks, playing in the snow, staying up all night to talk to someone you like, caring for someone, hugs, travelling, the sound of a pen scratching against paper, twirling around in a pretty dress.

gemini: finishing a paper ten minutes before its due, sending a risky text, ripped skinny jeans, storm clouds, standing in the rain, screaming into your pillow, making out with someone for hours, blasting your music.

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The Group Project

(Jimin is jealous when his best friend and roommate, Taehyung, has a date with the girl Jimin has a crush on.)

Warning: 8000 words and 75% of this is pure smut. MMF sex.  Dirty talking.  Disrespectful name calling.   The usual.


“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung! FUCK! YOU!”  Jimin was livid.  “I’ve never said a single thing to you about all the shit I have to put up with as your roommate!  All the times I’ve had to crash at a friend’s place because you brought some girl back to our dorm room for the night!  I can’t remember the last time I spent a whole week able to sleep in my own bed because of you!  And all those times I woke up to find some chick I don’t know in your bed?  Like you couldn’t just go somewhere else to fuck them? Did you really have to screw them in our room while I was asleep?”  Taehyung opened his mouth to answer, but Jimin cut him off.  “And I wasn’t even asleep for all of them!  What was that one girls name? The one with the short hair? Jungin? Jungah?  Just because you took her into our bathroom to have her suck your dick doesn’t mean I didn’t hear EVERY FUCKING THING that happened in there!  You are so fucking vile!  The things you said to that girl… the sound of her choking on your dick while you called her a slut?  What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Some girls like that shit,” Taehyung replied calmly.  “She definitely liked it, that’s for sure.”

Jimin rolled his eyes dismissively.  “The point is that I’ve never said anything to you about how you’ve stuck your dick in half the women on campus.  Despite the fact that you are always inconveniencing me in order to get your rocks off, I’ve kept my mouth shut.  It’s your life and it’s not really any of my business.  But this is TOO FUCKING MUCH!  I thought we were friends?  I never thought you would totally screw me over like this!”

“We are friends!  I didn’t do this to screw you over.” Taehyung and Jimin had been randomly assigned to be roommates in their small single room dorm room their freshman year and immediately became the best of friends.  Taehyung was on a scholarship that paid for his student housing on campus and Jimin couldn’t imagine living with anyone other than Taehyung, so despite the cramped quarters and the arguments frequently caused by the lack of privacy, they continued living together in the dormitory.

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TOP eras as i see them with synesthetia

self-titled era: shaking hands. old keyboards. friends that talk behind your back. the feeling you get after staying up too late. being sleepy all day but suddenly feeling awake at night. recovery. reaching the end of a tunnel. slowly lifting your head. realizing you can make a better life for yourself. drawing on your skin. burning old photos. abandoned theme parks. art shows. swimming pools.

RAB era: baseball fields. skinned knees. falling down after running really fast. collapsing at the end of a sports match. rained out events. resting in the shade on a hot day. shaved heads. summertime. the last few weeks of school. only leaving your house if you feel that that day is going to be important. sudden bursts of inspiration. finding creativity you never knew before. worrying about everything. the lump in your throat after you’re trying not to cry. things building up. unspoken words. dogs. hiking. cleats. 

Vessel: sudden fellowship with others. finally reaching out to your friends. the cold rush of air on your face when a door opens. raising your arms towards the sky. finally getting counseling. screaming, but not knowing why. night terrors. pine trees. a feeling of being lost. lonely in a room of people. soda. carbonated water. pink and yellow and red and gray. smiling over sadness. anxiety. butterflies in your stomach. the smile you get when you begin to realize everything will be alright. 

Blurryface: realizing that your friends have helped you, but now is the part of the battle you must fight on your own. blasting music in the car. summer days. hot pavement. empty rooms. moving houses. shouting just to hear an echo. late nights driving. nightmares. graffiti. sirens. doing bad things, but desperately wishing you could do good. doing good but can’t stop thinking about bad things. fighting against the darkness that no one else can see. cracks in the ceiling. basements. spaces where you don’t feel quite real. falling into bed after a long day. the final great battle before the end of the war.

album feelings

no phun intended: loneliness, unrequited love, self discovery, light pink, going to therapy for the first time, fidgety hands, staying in your room for too long, crying in the shower, panic attacks before church, playing piano until your fingers ache, the feeling deep in your heart that something is not right, feeling constantly uncomfortable, not being enough, staying up until the sunrise, avoiding mirrors, bandaged arms, pulling on your hair, avoiding friends, craving attention, sobbing in your basement at 2am, scribbled poetry in the margins of homework, uncertainty towards the future

self titled: fog, the silence of cold winter nights, an out of tune piano, snow on the beach, aches in your bones, the bareness of the trees in winter, that ache in your chest late at night, scribbling nonsense in your journal, zoning out in class, crying so hard you can’t breath, pale colors, driving to school half asleep in the dark, the numbness of your feet after being in the cold for too long, head aches, emptiness, picking at your skin, biting your nails, boots crunching on snow

regional at best: brownish orange, blue, red, laying in an open field, oversized shirts, road trips, playgrounds at sunset, the early days of summer, sitting outside at night even when it gets too cold, holding it all in, visiting your old elementary school, the first fireflies of the summer, cracking knuckles, road trips, grass, stargazing, riding bikes, cuts on your hands, that feeling that’s not quite happiness or sadness, photo albums, uncertainty, real laughter, crying in your car, the beginning of something, pushing friends away, wandering in the woods, bruised knees

vessel: cold air filling your lungs, crying yourself to sleep, the aches of your wrists in the morning, regret, headlights in the distance, driving alone down a long road in the dead of night, painful nostalgia, the first snowfall, a well needed hug, midnight walks, not sleeping for days, trying to get better on your own, laying in bed for hours at a time, finally admitting you need help

blurryface: trembling hands, anxiety in your throat, repetitive thoughts, wanting to cry but not being able to, playing piano in the dark, going back to therapy, falling in love, distant lights outside your window, hope, a bloody nose, the last days of summer, bruises you don’t remember, coming home, fighting with your friends, gasping for breath, long talks by a pool at midnight, laughing until you cry, determination