with words!

I don’t want to fall in love anymore, I feel like I’m constantly repeating myself; telling people my favourite songs, showing them my favourite movies and TV shows, my favourite colour, places I like to visit, just everything. And I’m tired of repeating myself, I don’t have the energy anymore. I want someone who already knows that a particular song is my favourite because it makes me cry happy tears, I want someone who knows that this movie is my favourite, because one of my earliest memories was watching it as a kid, when we were still a family. I don’t want to give people parts of me only for them to become a stranger again, It’s not fair. I’m tired
—  blue-eyes-xo 

“What if I didn’t care too much? ” he said while looking at her, trying to imagine that she’s someone else. That he’s not asking this question to someone he loves truly—for the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt her. He never wants to cause heartbreak, especially to her. But because he can’t take it any longer, he took a deep breath and continued, “You don’t need to answer me. I just…you know…I just really have to let this out. Because it’s hard. I know you’re not even asking me to care about you this much, you didn’t even ask me to hold you up whenever you feel that you’re about to shatter and fall to the ground. But I care, hell I still care. And you know the only reason why I do. Why I always claim to be—that person who is always on your side—and it doesn’t matter whether you’re on your darkest times or brightest hours. I’ll still be there, to cheer you up when you’re down, and to clap my hands for you, to hug you warmly and to congratulate you every time you achieved something you always wanted.”.

He paused reminiscing all the good and bad times that they were together. He remembered the times she tried pushing him away. But he never left her. Because he knew that time was the moment that she needed him the most.

“Yet now, I wonder. What if I didn’t fall in love with you? Will I still care about you? Will I’m going to be one of those people who left you once they were ignored by you? Will I’m still going to be here—standing firmly next to you? ”. he said. He didn’t wait for her answer, instead he continued saying, “I honestly don’t know what exactly I would do. Because the moment I saw you, I never imagined being away from you. I never saw myself leaving you. I never ever saw myself not caring this much about you. And that’s the reason why—it hurts at the same time.”.

He looked at her just to find her staring back at him. With her eyes so beautiful that the stars weren’t enough to describe the way her eyes shone that night. He slowly grabbed her hands, closing it with his.

And when he looked back at her, both of them have tears in their eyes, as he said “Because the truth is, no matter how hard I try to move my feet miles apart from you, I can’t. I just can’t run away from you.

—  ma.c.a // Love Pushed Me To You
And if you go, chasing rabbits...

It was my first time playing Shadowrun 5th ed.  I was the group Decker and I was hacking this guy’s computer to get a lead on something.  When suddenly I go chasing  this red squirrel in the system.  When it runs it kicks up some dust and the GM has me make a roll, I succeed and chast the thing, thinking it might have the info we need.  Eventually it runs down into a hole.

Me: I roll to jump in the hole and catch the squirrel.

GM: Roll for attack.

I roll and get 3 sixes, which explode into more sixes.  I end up with 12 successes and catch the Squirrel.

GM: Congratulations, you are now trapped in a Wonderland where everything is happiness and sunshine, roll to see if you get addicted.

I pass, but I am out for the rest of the adventure.  Turns out the Squirrel was a trap set by an AI that was making Cyberdrugs, and I was trapped until the rest of the crew stopped it.  When I came to, my character couldn’t stop humming White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane as a side effect.

Moments can’t keep passing
with memories this clear.
I’ve done so little since -
has it really been a year?
I’m missing out on life,
still holding on for you,
lingering in the dark,
in the hell you put me through.
—  A Year in the Breaking // Grazia Curcuru