MY SUN AND MY MOON AND ALL OF MY STARS
A/N: Hey guys, so this is something a bit different and I’m not sure where it came from but I actually love it. Let me know what you think :)
Read it on AO3 here
“Do you ever think the moon gets lonely?”
The sound of Betty’s voice forced Jughead to look up from his computer where the small black line at the end of a half-finished sentence had been blinking at him tauntingly.
“What?” He asked confused, a goofy smile playing on his lips as he watched Betty pick at the tassels on the throw blanket they always kept draped over the couch but never seemed to use.
“Do you ever think the moon gets lonely,” she repeated as if it was a perfectly sane question.
“Well what do you think Betts?” He asked back softly, trying to stop himself from laughing as he watched her in her drug-induced haze.
“I think it does,” she said quietly, almost as if she was sharing one of her deepest secrets. “Polly used to tell me this story about how the sun and the moon were once great lovers who annoyed one of the gods. The god got so angry at them that he banished them to opposite sides of the earth, forcing them to always be a world apart.”
Jughead closed his laptop quietly, setting it down on the coffee table and pulling Betty’s feet into his lap, his fingers drawing patterns on her bare calf, careful not to bump her cast.
“I always wonder if the moon gets lonely. I don’t think the sun would because it’s full of light. It gets to watch people live and laugh and be, but the moon … well it’s all alone. It leaves people in the dark and forces them into a place they can’t see, a place they need to rely on some other source of light to live, to laugh, to be.” Betty looked up from the tassel and saw Jughead watching her intently, his fingers still absent-mindedly tracing invisible shapes on her skin.
“I used to think we were like that; destined to be together but forced apart, always loving but always separate. Almost as if there was something bigger, something god-like that didn’t want us together…” Betty trailed off but kept staring straight ahead, almost as if she was staring through him, her eyes glued to those three moles on his cheek, thinking to herself that they looked almost like a constellation.
“I don’t know, it’s stupid,” she mumbled as she shuffled around on the couch, sitting beside Jughead and letting her head fall onto his shoulder. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, wrapping his arms around her.
“It’s not stupid baby. I like hearing about what runs through your mind at 2am,” he replied through a chuckle.
“Well I have a lot more where that came from, especially with this messin … medssssin … med-i-cine they gave me for my foot,” Betty managed to fumble out as her eyes started to flutter closed.
“You know what I think Betts?” Jughead asked, realising that she was starting to fall asleep. As much as he would love to keep her awake and hear her fumble over more words, it was probably time for her to go to bed. She nodded sleepily, urging him to go on as he gently slipped an arm under her knees and lifted her up, placing his other hand securely on her back as her arms wrapped around his neck.
“I never had Polly to tell me bedtime stories about the sun and the moon but I did spend more time than I care to admit looking up at the stars. I used to feel the same way you did, although I will admit I didn’t do so quite as poetically.” He walked through their apartment, careful not to bump her foot on anything, before opening the door to their room and placing her down on the bed, her eyes still fluttering open and shut.
“I used to think that there was this force of some sort, fate maybe, that was determined to keep us apart, determined to drive some huge invisible wedge between us. But then I would sneak out into this one part of the trailer park that didn’t feel like a trailer park and I’d lie on my back and just look up at the sky, taking in the stars and the moon and the planets that were spread out in the infinite darkness.” Jughead kept talking as he pulled back the covers and tucked Betty into the blankets, thankful he’d had the foresight to help her into her pyjamas earlier. He walked over to the dresser and grabbed his pyjamas from his side of the dresser, slowly getting changed.
“And I would find something incredibly comforting in the familiarity of it all. Something comforting about the never ending blackness and the way it made me feel so incredibly small. For once I liked feeling insignificant, feeling alone. Because my next thought would make me feel safe again.” He threw his clothes in the direction of the laundry hamper and climbed under the covers beside her. His arm found its usual place resting across her stomach as his leg slipped between hers, grateful that her broken leg was hanging off the bed, just like it did every night.
He was well aware that she’d fallen asleep, the drugs that the doctor had given her that afternoon after she’d fallen off her bike had finally flooded her system, pulling her into a dreamless sleep. He couldn’t seem to stop, the words flowing out of him in a constant stream, no end in sight and Jughead wasn’t sure if he wanted there to be.
“My next thought we be how the universe is such an immense place; filled with solar systems and stars and planets. And then we have our planet, with 7.6 billion people from 195 countries and somehow we ended up in the same small town in the middle of nowhere. Somehow you fell in love with me and I fell in love with you. That thought would bring me so much comfort and make me feel safe, even when I was looking up at something so infinite and limitless.” Betty’s soft snoring filled the spaces between his words, making it seem like he was speaking to the same lazy rhythm.
He rolled onto his side and looked at her, the lovesick smile he’d worn so many times over the years falling onto his lips. She looked so beautiful when she was asleep; her hair splayed out across the pillow in every which way, her chest rising and falling under the blankets, her eyes shut tight and a hint of a smile still playing on her lips as the semi-permanent crease on her forehead completely disappeared.
“You probably don’t remember but a couple of years ago you read this poetry book called ‘Become.’ by Emery Allen. I gave you so much crap about it. One day I had finished my book by the time and I didn’t have another one with me. You’d fallen asleep with that book open on your chest so I was going to put it on the bedside table so you didn’t destroy it with all the tossing and turning you do when you sleep. I know I have no respect for modern poetry but come on, it’s still a book,” he said with a chuckle, the memory playing over in his head as he reached across and brushed an unruly strand of hair out of her face.
“I was just going to close it and then put it away but I found myself reading the page you’d fallen asleep on. You know, I can still remember that poem, even after the thousands, if not millions, of other words that had passed in front of my eyes since that night. So Betts, you’d better savour this moment because me reciting poetry to you is a one time thing, okay? I know that you’re asleep but I’m not repeating this because we both know you’d mock me relentlessly if you were awake. Here we go.” Jughead took a deep breath, closing his eyes to shield himself from the embarrassment he knew would never come, Betty’s heavy breathing assuring him of that.
“I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything.
Maybe we’re from the same star.”
“I swear my heart actually stopped for a second when I read that, because, well that’s exactly how I feel. Somehow the two of us have managed to be alive at the same point in time, on the same planet, in the same country in the same tiny town. And if all of that has come together just for us, is it really that strange to believe that we are from the same star, that we had the same beginning and we’ve somehow found our way back to each other? I mean what other explanation could there be for us to have found something so perf- so natural?” Jughead sighed and ran his free hand through his unruly hair, his mind racing as his mouth tried to catch up with the millions of thoughts running through his head.
“Because something this good was never supposed to happen to someone like me. You were never supposed to happen to someone like me. And as cliche as it sounds, I would thank the stars and the heavens and all the moons you have on offer if it means I get to keep you for the rest of my days. You probably know this because I’m not the best at hiding it but you are my sun, and my moon, and all of my stars bound into this mortal form that everyone knows you are more than deserving of. You make me live, and laugh, and be.” Betty rolled over beside him, her head falling between their two pillows and her cast moving to trap his leg, giving him no chance for escape. He sighed deeply. Only Betty would subconsciously ruin his speech about how much he loves her by making him lose feeling to his leg with her giant purple cast.
“That’s probably the awake part of your brain telling me to shut up before I make a complete fool out of myself. Although I did quote Emery Allen so I don’t think I can embarrass myself more further.” Betty stirred once more, her head falling even further so it rested against his chest. He managed to slide his leg out from under her purple monstrosity, enveloping her small frame in his arms. Jughead placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head, loving the way her hair softly tickled his upper lip.
“I love you Betts. And if you ever forget that, just remember that I recited poetry to you without a knife to my throat. If that doesn’t prove I love you then I don’t know what will.” That same smile he’d been wearing the whole night stayed glued to his lips, even as his eyes drooped closed and his dreams became filled with his sun and his moon and all of his stars.