with the food

Warforged Shouldn't be Allowed Near Powder.

DM: You open one of the crates on the ship and find pouches filled with fine, green powder. You do not know what it is, unless you might. Roll knowledge Local.

Me, the Warforged Martial Artist: Rolls an 18

DM: You know it’s an extremely powerful drug tha-

Me: I consume it.

DM: Wh-what…. Roll constitution…

Me: 10

DM: Your innards begin to rust and you take 3 constitution damage.

Rest of the table: Laughing at the dumbass robot who sought to gain anything ingesting a pouch full of drugs.

anonymous asked:

Okay, but hear me out on this: in England, they drank coffee before tea was ever a thing, and tea didn't even really become a thing until the 18th century after getting introduced through coffee houses (where all the great minds for the time met and talked). There are so many GO fics out there where Crowley "introduces" Aziraphale to coffee because he's behind the times, but I bet he actually took ages to come around to liking tea from coffee. Where's my fic where Crowley introduces him to tea??

wheeze oh my god.  what if that’s also why he drinks cocoa.  because they ran out of coffee or something and crowely tried to get him to drink tea in its place and he was like :^)  my dear :^)  that newfangled drink is of the devil i’m sure :^)  I’ll just drink liquid chocolate instead