Hello my name is Clork Greefen and I am the smartiest, most funniest, most prettiest person ever to fall from the sky. I know yor probably thinking i fell from heaven but no, just from space. Me and a couple of other doucheybags. I am rich and pretty and blonde with sky blues eyes and excellent tits. They call me princes. One of the boys Baloney is not very nice. All of them are stoppid. A bitchy tweenager called Charlotte stabbed my best frend Wells in the neck with a nife. He’s dead now. So is she because she jumped off a cliff. Unlike when we came from space she died.
Anyways more stuff happened but it was boring and involved grown ups (who i hate because my mum sucks and killed my father and she’s also probably npt even my real muther because she doesn’t look like me and she has no heart but i have a heart so i think she’s an AI - but then again who wood be dumb enuff to write a stupid artifical intelligence plot????) but then we were like kidnapped by these weird vampires. They aren’t actually vampires but they suck blood from the people who have lived here.
The people who lived here arnt very nice. They lived here for a hundred years and we crash down, kill some people and villages, make noise, stomp about, and invade their lands but I still dont see why their so upset. Whatever they’re just mountain men food anyway. Yeah the people who kidnapped us live in a mountain and they seperated me from my fuckboi boyfriend Finn.
Luckily I escaped and I got slapped with mud by this super hot grounder lady and now i’m gay. She died though because i thin kshe was gay too so her blud is a magnet for bullets. Now her friend the commander wasnts to meet me and so I have to try to loook strong and intimidating. And smart. But I’m surrounded by iriots so it’s easy to be superiorly intelligent.