with rage problems as well

Real conversation at dinner tonight
  • *watching ice skating on tv, the music playing is Billy Joel*
  • Me: who is this?
  • Dad: Billy Joel
  • Me: I don't like Billy Joel
  • Mom: that's because the only people you listen to died at 27
  • Me: That's not true,what about Green Day?
  • Mom: I'm surprised that Billie guy made it past 27.
  • Me: MOM!
  • Sister: Wait Billie is older than that?
  • Oliver: I have a problem.
  • Adam: is it your raging heart boner for the princess?
  • Oliver: well, yes, but I was talking about-
  • Adam: how everyone thinks you had something to do with your parents death?
  • Oliver: uh-
  • Adam: Or that your sister is missing and you don't know if she's alive or dead?
  • Oliver: I-
  • Adam: or maybe it's-
  • Oliver: okay! I get it! My life sucks!
Companion piece to OQ Rough Sex Week

Based on an (unintended) prompt from @glindalovesshoes 

Companion piece to be read after this one shot right here


It starts with muffled voices followed by the slamming of the door.  And then, for a bit, silence.

There’s no insulation in Granny’s walls, and every sound from the hallway travels.  So at first, Snow thinks Regina took Robin into the bathroom to have a quiet chat.  They do need a good talk, afterall.

Regina is being absurd with this refusal to be happy thing.

But then there’s another slam, and the far wall appears to vibrate with the action, and hushed, darkened tones worry her.  They are fighting, she thinks. 

Regina has come so far in concealing her rage, battling her instincts to jump to violence to solve her problems, but…well, she never handled losing loved ones easily, and if Robin truly was with Belle (Snow doubts that, their conversation looked perfectly innocent and friendly to her, despite how Regina must have interpreted it) who knows how Regina may react.

It’s lunch hour on a weekend, and Granny’s is nearly a full house and thank god for that, Snow thinks.  The steady buzz of dozens of different conversations are dulling the sounds coming from behind the walls.  

No need to worry the town about the evil queen returning to her old ways, afterall.

Snow puts down her tea and stands up, determined to interrupt this fight before it gets carried away.

But then she hears what is definitely not an angered voice, no, it’s a moan, and god damn it, she definitely did not sign up for this.  They were supposed ot have a quiet lunch and catch up on the state of the schools, she was not supposed to be seconds away from walking in on her step-mother having a quickie.

She sits back down, cheeks flushed, wondering if anyone else heard it.

Nearly everyone else is too wrapped up in their own conversations to care, but Belle, Belle is sitting at her booth, looking a bit too interested in a menu she definitely has memorized.

Oh, God!

Snow cringes at that, closes her eyes and wishes she had the magic to poof herself away from this moment.  But when she opens her eyes, her wish has not been granted.  She makes contact with Belle, who has given up any pretense of naivity regarding the situation, and is throwing her a knowing look, hand over her mouth barely concealing her giggles.

There’s another slam now, that one so loud everything on that far wall shakes.  Customers look up, puzzled.  

Conversations quickly die down and the dining room grows quiet, while people glance up at the shaking wall, their expressions turning from confused to knowing.  Some look offended, many seem all too amused with the situation, and some seem very, very uncomfortable with the sounds the former evil queen is making.

Especially the men.

She is going to kill Regina.  If she doesn’t die of embarrassment she is going to kill her.

There’s more arguing, except she knows it’s not arguing, it’s foreplay, and she can’t make out the words, but it’s “something-something-something, thief”  and did Snow and the rest of the town really need to know their pet names for one another?

There’s a steady thumping against the wall now, and conversations at the tables of Grannys’ have all but stopped, except for the half-stifled giggles of the customers and whispered words of offense.

Each moan, each muffled sound of dirty words exchanged, twist into Snows mind, and jesus, she’s going to have to schedule a nice round of therapy with Archie after this, because hearing the woman who was once married to her father make sexy, deep, throaty sounds like this is a little too much.

Ruby pays no mind to the sound, surprisingly. She just continues to wait tables as if she doesn’t hear the slamming and the moaning that grows ever louder.  

But Granny is a different story.  She’s been in the kitchen, cooking, the noises of the griddle and the stove muffling the sounds of passionate lovemaking that now fill the dining area.  But when she steps back from the kitchen to deliver the new order, she notices the tell tale, rhythmic quakes of the wall.

“God damn it,” Granny groans, throwing down a dishrag, “do you people have no decency?”

“Granny, granny!” Snow jumps up to block her from the path of the bathroom, holding a hand up in protest, and then leans into whisper “it’s Regina.  And Robin.”

Granny scowls, disappointed, then huffs out a breath of air.  “Oh.”

“I think they….they might need this?”

“They can get a pass for this time.  Provided Queenie stops sulking around and lets that poor man love her.” Granny mutters.

“But I’m hiring someone to clean that bathroom, and she’s paying.”