with our hospital cat

This was my best friend of 8 years, sending this to me about a month after I lost my first baby, a son, in labor. She was there for my family and everyone in the beginning, even after I suffered complications after my c-section and spend Christmas and the New Year in the hospital - visiting, feeding our cats, running errands.

Then radio silence. I had a feeling she was going to abandon me when I needed her the most, and then I received this message. To this day I don’t know what she is referring to as our life choices. The only hypothesis my husband and I can ascertain is that she blames our choice of a home birth as the reason why our baby died.

Even years later, I still don’t know how I feel about this. It must be nice to live and forget such a tragic situation.