with my daughter's help

Government Auditor from Hell.

Ok, so I am a practicing accountant. I can’t really identify the country for confidentiality purposes. I had a very dear client, who was in the latter stages of cancer. As his condition worsened, we were contacted by the government for an audit. I submitted what I could, but without his assistance, critical pieces of information would be missing. I called the auditor, and let her know the situation. Literally, without even thinking, she said, “Since you are avoiding me, I will just disallow everything and find against him”.

I immediately demanded her name and her government ID. “You are not intimidating me, she said as she gave me her info. I put my practice on hold, and asked my client’s wife if I could get into her husband’s office and search for the documents. With the help of my wife, his wife and his two daughters we got absolutely everything. I held off until the auditor made good her threat. Then I launched an appeal.

In that appeal, I presented all of the documents. My client although having passed, by that time, was in the clear, and there would be no government claims against his estate. I then ended the appeal with the following: Due to the auditor’s inhuman treatment of my client, and her despicable actions, I hereby demand her termination.

There was a shit-storm that followed. First her supervisor calls me, tells me that I can’t demand her termination. I tell him to f**k off. Then the shop steward tells me that she is union and they don’t get to fire his people. I tell him that she violated several of their stated parameters and she can be terminated for cause. Then I get the deputy head of taxation for our region. He takes time and listens and says that it is difficult but I should not expect that she loses her job. The final call is her; How dare I! She lost her job. She is an immigrant to our country and her husband will beat her for losing her job. How can I do this to her? What has she done that was so bad? I basically told her that in this country we treat our dying people with dignity. That her actions warranted losing her job, and I hope her pension and benefits. She told me she was a year from retirement and she lost her pension. Oh I’m sorry, guess that money would be better spent on a human.

me, disconsolately, with tears welling up: they DID do shit for you, scanlan, the moment you were like “I’m outie, y’all, I have to find my daughter” they were like “shit, of course, how can we help??” and vax went with you in the sewers to try and find her, and the moment you were like “I’m going to Kymal to find my daughter” they were like “shit, of course, do you want us to come with??” and pike did. you can only ask someone “are you okay?” so many times before you know the answer is going to be “I’m fine, don’t worry about me” and all those kids are kids, not much older than your actual kid (except maybe Pike) and they LOVE you and you are TOO GOOD at lying and what happened the one time someone did saw through your bullshit?? It was Vex and she was kind and understanding and loving and she swore to never tell and she didn’t, scanlan, she never told. I’m not saying you have to be happy and hunky-dory but once you’ve leveled out and had a moment to breathe you’ll understand this and come back, right?

-2 INSIGHT MODIFIER I HATE THE WORLD

I don't think I've ever been more proud of how a show deals with periods

The dad getting the pads wasn’t the punchline. He asked anther guy in the store for help, that guy said, “This is what my daughter used,” and then went on about how kids grow up so fast and go off to college.

And then the punchline became the dad being in denial about his daughter growing up, and the dad made a “period toolkit” for his daughter, which included pain killers, chocolate, and a drug store gift card.

And then it ended with the daughter body slamming her brothers using self-defense moves her dad had taught her and she told them they had to do this “until my period is over.”

The word and situation were just thrown around so normally. The brothers weren’t even embarrassed to hear about her bodily functions.

It was just. So. Normal.

I know everyone is excited about the new Breath of the Wild trailer, and I am too, but…

Is it too much to ask that Zelda not be constantly hurt and crying? Is it too much to ask that we don’t walk in on her bathing? Is it too much to ask that she be able to save herself?

3

So I was talking to a friend about how Jason Todd’s stealing of the bat-tires off the bat-mobile always bothered me because a 1980’s bat-mobile would not have an advanced alarm system that would protect against you taking more high value parts.

I ended up making this PowerPoint mid-conversation. I think I found my calling: to help the wayward sons and daughters be informed on market values of ripped motor vehicle parts.

Annoying Neighbor

By reddit user conffra

I used to live in a small building downtown. One of the reasons I moved out was the bad neighborhood, including this guy in the apartment right over mine. It was a weird looking fella who mostly kept to himself. Around midnight though, there was frequently a strange noise that got on my nerves. It wasn’t loud, to be fair, but I have really light sleep so it was hard to get my eyes shut with those little bumping sounds going on and on. It reminded me of  high heels walking about, but not as loud, as if the person causing the noise was actually trying to be silent. After a few days, i realized the pattern was always the same, like a recording played over and over with random intervals in between. And that went on for the best part of an year, always the same sequence of bumps, slowly tattooed into my mind, sometimes for hours straight during the night.

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Creepypasta #1009: Annoying Neighbor

I used to live in a small building downtown. One of the reasons I moved out was the bad neighborhood, including this guy in the apartment right over mine. It was a weird looking fella who mostly kept to himself. 

Around midnight though, there was frequently a strange noise that got on my nerves. It wasn’t loud, to be fair, but I have really light sleep so it was hard to get my eyes shut with those little bumping sounds going on and on. It reminded me of high heels walking about, but not as loud, as if the person causing the noise was actually trying to be silent. 

After a few days, I realized the pattern was always the same, like a recording played over and over with random intervals in between. And that went on for the best part of an year, always the same sequence of bumps, slowly tattooed into my mind, sometimes for hours straight during the night.

It was only several years later, helping my daughter with her homework, that I learned a little bit of morse code. She knocked on the table with her knuckles and a shiver immediately went through my spine as I recognized that exact pattern. When I asked her what it meant, she laughed. 

“It’s the easiest one, daddy” she said. “It’s the one to call for help.”

Credits to: conffra

Imagine when Hades asked Zeus for help with Persephone.

HADES: hey Zeus you know Demeter’s daughter? Persephone?

ZEUS: Yes….

HADES: Help me make her my wife.

ZEUS: ummm….. the goddess of springtime? That’s who you’re going with?

HADES: You locked me out of Olympus do me this one favor.

ZEUS: Fine whatever

HADES: Thank you. Now how do women work?

ZEUS: That takes too much time just kidnap her.

HADES: …… Well if that’s how to charm girls.

VegeBul Shippers

Originally posted by fabiolita-dbz-forevah

join now the vegebul ship because it’s about to become full heh

1) GOKU IS THE NUMBER ONE

2) ALONG WITH BULMA’S MOTHER LET’S NOT FORGET THAT SHE WAS THE FIRST THAT SAW THEIR POTENTIAL

“you must be Bulma’s boyfriend right? You helped Goku to save my beaaaauuuutiful daughter, you are a hero <3”

3) WHIS, I MEAN EVEN A FUCKING GOD SHIPS THEM

4) OF COURSE TRUNKIE THEIR LITTLE SON SHIPS THEM SO HARD 

5) PICCOLO IS A TSUNDERE SHIPPER LISTEN TO ME

6) TORIYAMA TOP OF THE TOP

Vegeta, whose pride had been deeply wounded, sought help from Bulma, and little by little, his ruthless personality changed. Nowadays, you certainly might be able to say that!

7) TOEI ANIMATORS BECAUSE HELL YEAH THEY DRAW THEM HUGGING HARDLY IN A LITTLE DETAIL THAT NO ONE WILL NOTICE

8) TOEI ITSELF:

9) TEAM FOUR STARS (AND THEY ARE PURE SMARTASS JUST SAYIN’)

10)  JACO SEEMS PRETTY INTERESTED AS WELL: 

11) BLACKSMOKEFILMS TAKES ACTION AND VEGEBUL BECOMES REAL:

12) AND THEN HERE WE ARE, NORMAL VEGEBUL SHIPPERS BEING LIKE:

Originally posted by aph-danmark