im really tired of people within the LGBTQ+ community pointing fingers at each other and saying “you don’t really belong because you benefit from [insert type of privilege here]”
a cishet asexual still suffers from marginalization. their sexuality has been pathologized as a mental illness right along with gayness and transness. in a hypersexual heternormative culture where we’re told we must enjoy sex and we must be in relationships, an asexual person is made to feel as if they’re broken, as if they don’t exist, as if forcing sex and intimacy on them is a corrective measure to “fix them”
a straight trans woman still suffers from marginalization. being able to “pass” as a woman while also being in a relationship with a man does not negate the fact that trans people face the most violence out of anyone in the queer community, must face a society that enforces a standard of womanhood that may not necessarily apply to them, and must navigate a political climate that seeks to banish them from public spaces and paint them as criminals
a bisexual man in a relationships with a woman still suffers from marginalization. compulsory heterosexuality not only erases this identity but enforces this idea that bisexuality is a phase or a kink that can soon be grown out of. bisexuality is the largest subset of the LGBTQ+ community yet has the least amount of representation and leaves bi people more likely to have mental illnesses. being constantly recloseted when you date different genders has psychological and emotional consequences
individuals in a polyamorous relationship still suffer from marginalization. they exist in a society that hails monogamy as the only acceptable relationship model and attempts to make polyamorous individuals feel as if their relationships are abnormal, deviant, and inappropriate for children. they are treated as the example of what not to do, seeing as how society fails to acknowledge the breadth of relationship models that don’t necessarily have to include just two people.
examples like these can go on and on and on and on
these critiques also exist without the context of race, ethnicity, immigration status, ability, and/or religion. we’re so focused on worrying about whether certain queer identities even belong in the LGBTQ+ umbrella yet fail to see how whiteness, Christianity, citizenship laws, access to disability services, etc. further compound on the experiences of those who are told by a cishet world that we are abnormal.
and that’s what it comes down to: there is a formula for privilege in our society, and part of that formula involves being straight, being cis, wanting to marry, desiring sex, and believing in only two genders. queerness was always meant to represent those who live in opposition of those formulas, in opposition of systems that enforce and perpetuate those formulas.
our job is not to gatekeep our community because that is childish and unproductive. our job is to understand the systems that oppress us, figure out how to navigate/change these systems, and advocate for all people who fall victim to the violence and oppression that these systems were created to enforce.
we don’t do that by telling people that they don’t belong in our communities bc “they’re not as oppressed as we are.” this isn’t the oppression olympics. this is a time to fight, to love, and to advocate.
Do not add comments to our stories that are just grammar corrections and not actual responses/impressions to the story. Don’t say that you’re merely “commenting” and not “reviewing.” Don’t say that you’re helping us bc the error is turning away readers. Just don’t do that.
Chances are the writer knows the difference between its and it’s, their and they’re, and to and too. They probably made a typo, which is common when you’re typing quickly and rushing to get updates out. No need to assume they need a grammar lesson, much less give them one in the comments of their story.
It’s rude. It’s condescending. It’s disrespectful to a fanfic author who is writing stories for free, for fun, and for your enjoyment.
One of my friends wants to smoke mugwort, I'm not to keen or her doing it. Do you think it's safe for her to do so?
I’m not a licensed herbalist, so I can’t really make a concrete recommendation one way or another. Personally, no, I don’t think it’s a good idea, but that’s my opinion.
What I DO recommend is that your friend thoroughly research the side effects of the herb and speak to her physician or a licensed herbalist, especially if she’s on any other medication or has any mental conditions that might be adversely affected by psychotropics. Also, if she’s bound and determined to try the stuff, she needs to make sure that the material she’s getting isn’t cut with other herbs or chemical additives or harder drugs.