with a guest appearance by:

- “You look so hot in that babe.” Nursey commented, taking in Dex’s outfit. Admittedly, he always found Dex hot, but Dex in his jumper was definitely the hottest thing ever.

- Especially blushing Dex in Nursey’s jumper.

- “You’re just saying that cos I’m wearing your clothes.” Dex says, trying to change the subject from himself. “Its the jumper. Its, like, absorbed your hotness, and now it makes you think I’m hot wearing it”

- “Please, you’re way hotter than me in that jumper babe” Nursey argues, sitting up in the bed.

- “Nah, you’re way hotter than me.” Dex argues, rolling his eyes. He begins to get ready for bed as they talk.

- "No way Dex. You’re the hot one in this relationship. Anyone can see that.” Nursey says, pulling back the blankets for Dex to get into bed.

- “Seriously? Ask anyone Derek, they’d agree you’re hotter” Dex said, as he cuddled up to Nursey.

- “They wouldn’t. And you’ll see that tomorrow when we ask people” Nursey said, wrapping an arm around Dex as he spoke.

- Dex didn’t reply, just huffed a laugh, before falling asleep.

- Nursey quickly grabs his phone, and texts the guys individually: "Gonna ask the team a question tomorrow. The answer is Dex. I’ll owe you big time. Don’t tell him I asked you”.

- He falls asleep after sending it.

- Next morning, Dex waked up before Nursey. He texts each of his teammates individually: “Need you to answer Nursey when he and I ask something later. I’ll owe you so much. Don’t tell him I asked you.”

- After sending it, he wakes Nursey, and they get ready for team breakfast.

- At breakfast the team is speculating what the messages are about. That quickly shut up when Dex and Nursey show up.

- 10 minutes into breakfast, Nursey asks The Question.

“So,” he starts, “who do you guys think is hotter? Me or Dex?”

- Nursey sits back, confident the team will answer Dex.

- Dex sips his coffee, confident they’ll answer Nursey.

- “Um..” Tango starts, breaking the silence “Dex is.”

- Dex nearly chokes on his coffee.

- “Definitely Dex.” Whiskey agrees with a nod, before turning his attention back to his pancakes.

- “No way bros.” Ransom argues. “Nursey is clearly hotter.”

- “No offense Dex, but Nursey is 100% hotter.” Holster agrees, smiling at Nursey innocently.

- Nursey is giving him a death glare for betraying him like this.

- “Um, are y'all serious?” Bitty asks from his end of the table. “Look at those freckles! That hair! Those eyes! Dex is hotter than Nursey”

- “Bitty. Bits. Are we seeing the same people? Nursey is way hotter” Lardo’s argues, stifling a laugh.

- “Hang on, that’s me, Rans, ‘n’ Lardo for Nursey. And Bitty, Tango, and Whiskey for Dex. So, its a tie?” Holster says.

- “Chowder hasn’t voted yet” Tango points out, and the team turn to Chowder.

- “Chowder. The tie breaker. Who is hotter?” Ransom asks.

- “Uhh….”

- Okay these are his two best friends, and he’d be lying if he never thought “oh Nursey looks good” or “Dex is good looking” but choosing might offend one of them. Plus, voting one over the other means he’s not doing the favour the other asked him for and that’s so mean!

- Something must show on his face, cos Dex and Nursey let him off the hook.

- “Its chill C. We’ll ask other people see who wins.”

- Chowder has never been more relieved in his life.

- Dex heads to class, and Nursey promises to meet him after.

- Dex asks his friends in that class to say Nursey is hotter than him when asked later. He’ll help them with their coding in return.

- After class, Nursey shows up. The Question is asked of 5 of Dex’s friends.

- 4 answer Nursey is hotter

- The one secretly (or not so secretly….) crushing on Dex says he’s hotter.

- So that’s 7 for Nursey being hotter, 4 for Dex being hotter.

- So Dex is winning at being right while Nursey is winning at being hot.

- Nursey will not allow that to happen. No way. Dex is hotter, and he’ll prove it

- By bribing his study group. He’ll do most of the work for the project, and credit them, if they agree Dex is hotter.

- They’re not about to turn down this deal, and all 5 of them agree with Nursey - Dex is hotter.

- Votes for Dex being hotter: 8
- Votes for Nursey being hotter: 7

- At this stage they each start a tally, which they’ll count up at the end of the day.

- Dex bribes their server at Annie’s to compliment Nursey and say he’s hotter, by giving them extra tips.

- Nursey promises to help his classmates with their poetry if they vote Dex as hotter.

- Dex offers so many people free repairs for a month for voting Nursey as hotter.

- Nursey buys lunch for the volleyball team for voting Dex.

- Dex promises to tutor half the freshman in coding for their votes for Nursey.

- End of the day they return to the Haus, and ask Chowder to count up and announce the results of who’s hotter.

- Dex is confident its Nursey

- Nursey is confident its Dex

- The final result?

- A tie.

- Dex and Nursey accept that.

* Later *

- “Chris, honey, was it really a draw?”

- “Its best no one ever knows Cait”

Claude Giroux Appreciation Post because I can

This dork here, in case you didn’t know, is Captain of the Philadelphia Flyers (how could you not thought).

This gif is important for reasons.

He used to have this super curly hair. Shame that he cut it, but he still looks hecking good with short hair. (see below)

Shoutout to Amanda Kurtz, whoever you are, for these pictures. We thank you.

Originally posted by flyersgif

He can hockey very well

Originally posted by bennyandthestars

He also wipes his hand on the refs and that’s something we all want to do so technically he’s our overlord

His laugh is adorable

He and Voracek might as well be sin bin twins (MY GOSH APPRECIATE THAT RHYME PEOPLE)

Also have him concentrating very hard on his cards. Guest appearance by Michael Raffl (10/10 on the hair)

Very sassy as well.

Master of facial expressions

Also this gif has nothing to do with it but he has a strange aversion to shoes.

G, bottom right, no shoes. He also likes thumbs ups. And smiling. Because he’s a dork.

He and his girlfriend have a dog that looks like fried chicken. He is carrying said fried chicken in a backpack. This is the best picture on the Internet.

G + Text Posts are incredible.

He produces Stall Talk for us. Thank you, good sir.

His smile is amazing and he managed to lose a tooth in the most attractive place. Guest appearances by Brayden Schenn, Steve Mason, and Jake Voracek.

Jake likes to poke the butt.

He also smol.

This has been a good post. Thank you, Claude Giroux, for existing.

“I’m never going to get this!” Dex exclaimed, slamming the baking tray down onto the counter.

“Of course you will sweetie,” Bitty reassured him, picking up some of the cookies that had fallen. “It just takes practice.” Dex said, as he sat down at the kitchen table. “Why can’t I make some cookies?”

“Maybe we could try somethin’ else? And come back to these vegetarian peanut butter cookies?” Bitty suggested.

“No! I have to get these right Bitty! I have to!” Dex said. He hid his face in his hands, and missed the look Bitty was giving him.

“Is there…any particular reason?” Bitty asked carefully.

Dex looked up quickly.

“What do you mean?” he asked slowly. Did Bitty know?

“Just…is there any reason you have to get this particular type of cookie exactly right?” Bitty clarified. “Is there some event you want ‘em for? Or someone maybe?”

“Maybe.” Dex admitted, knowing Bitty must have worked it out by now. It wasn’t exactly hard, given he knew everyone’s favourite dessert.

“So they’re for…someone. Anyone I know?” Bitty asked innocently.

“Yes” Dex said. He knew Bitty knew who they were for, but that didn’t make it any easier to say out loud.

“Dex,” Bitty said with a sigh, “This is harder than getting blood from a rock. Are you gonna say it, or will I?”

“They’re for Nursey.” Dex admitted, hiding his blushing face in his hands again.

“That’s so sweet Dex.” Bitty said cheerfully. “Don’t worry, we’ll get these cookies baked and you can give 'em to Nursey.”

“Thanks Bitty.” Dex said. “But I have a class now.”

“Okay.” Bitty said. He let Dex leave, even though Dex was pretty sure he could see through his lie. Dex just wanted to be alone right now. “Next week?”

“Sure. Thanks Bitty.” Dex said as he left.

*

Dex groaned in annoyance as he took the cookies out of the oven. He’d burned them again.

“Great.” Dex muttered to himself. He should have waited for Bitty to be free to help him, but he had had a free class and wants to try the cookies again.

“Hey, anyone ho- whoa whats that smell?” Nursey asked, as he entered the kitchen. Dex groaned - this was not the plan.

“You burning something Poindexter?” Nursey asked, seeing the cookies in the counter.

“Shut up Nurse.” Dex muttered, directing his annoyance at Nursey.

“Seriously dude, what were these even meant to be?” Nursey joked.

“Fuck off.” Dex hissed. “Just, fuck off.”

“Chill Dex, they’re just cookies.”

“Just- They’re not "just cookies”! Dex yelled.

“Dex, what the hell?” Nursey asked.

“THEY WERE FOR YOU OKAY? THEY WERE FOR YOU BUT I CAN’T MAKE THEM!” Dex yelled.

“What? Dex, why were you making me cookies?”

“Just forget it Nursey. Forget I sad anything” Dex muttered as he began to leave the kitchen.

“Wha-? Dex?” Nursey called after him, but Dex was already gone.

“Nursey?” Bitty called as he came downstairs “Was that Dex?”

“Yeah…” Nursey answered “He just left. He was kinda upset…”

“Yeah…I heard.” Bitty admitted “I’m guessing his baking didn’t go well this time either…”

“This time?” Nursey asked “How many times has he tried bake me cookies?”

“Um…” Bitty paused as he counted mentally, “This would be the 5th? 6th?”

“That’s…that’s a lot”. Nursey said. He didn’t realise Dex cared.

“Yeah, he must really like you ” Bitty commented, as he started cleaning up his kitchen.

“Yeah…” Nursey agreed. “I uh…I gotta go.”

“Okay, hun. Good luck.” Bitty said, as Nursey left.

*

“Dex? Dex, I know you’re in there.” Nursey called, as he banged on Dex’s door. It opened so suddenly Nursey nearly fell in.

“What do you want?” Dex snapped. He tried to sound annoyed, but Nursey could tell he’d been crying, and was still upset.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier” Nursey started. “That wasn’t fair of me to chirp you for something that probably happened because of the oven.”

“That oven is fine Nursey, I put it in myself.” Dex snapped. “If that’s all you wanted…” he said, as began closing the door.

“Thank you!” Nursey said quickly. Dex paused. “Thanks for…for trying to make me cookies. No one has ever tried that hard for me before. Thank you.”

“Its nothing.” Dex shrugged, trying to hide his blush.

“No, its definitely something Dex.” Nursey said. “Thank you. It means a lot.”

“I still didn’t get them right.” Dex huffed.

“But you tried.” Nursey said, stepping closer to him “Because you care, right?”

Dex nodded quickly, unable to say anything

“Thank you” Nursey said, before kissing him. Dex wrapped his arms around Nursey, and kissed him back.

“I’m gonna get them right for you.” Dex said, after they pulled back. “I promise.”

“I know you will Dex.” Nursey said. “I know you will.”

3

I’ll make this feel like home.

4

If you don’t understand what’s going on you should read Kings of After Hour Management by suggestivescribe or just the whole Breaking the Rules Series (very nsfw though).