with a frisbee

*wake up at like 2:30 am, hungry*

*stumble into kitchen to make food, turn on light*

*Frisbee and Cake, happy-sibling-cuddling together for the first time in ages, turn in unison and blink at me*

*turn light off*

*make food in the dark so as not to disturb the kitties*

Mom Deals With Local Traffic

When I was a wee thing, my parents moved out the the Highly dubious condo in East Palo Alto and into a relatively nice suburban neighborhood, into a house immediately across the street from my new elementary school.  Immediate, as in, less than 40 feet from the traffic circle.   Mom would wave at me from the driveway sometimes while I was in class.  This should have made getting me to and from school easy, but there was an issue:

I still had to cross the street, and because I was living in the over-caffeinated heart of silicon valley at the time, that meant dodging the local commuters barreling through the school zone at upwards of 40 miles per hour with no regard for the stop signs.

The flashing “School Zone” signs were ignored.  
The city refused to put in speed bumps or devote extra patrol cars.
One of my classmates grandmother’s volunteered as crossing guard, and some jackass in a BMW ran over her foot on the first day.

Now, mom declared as we drove Mrs. Manchez to the hospital her foot in a beer cooler full of ice, Would be a good time to take the law into my own hands.

So after dropping Mrs. Manchez off at the hospital, we drove to the thrift store, where my mom found a navy blazer, aviator sunglasses, a pilot’s cap and an old, clunky-looking hair dryer.  

The next morning, mom went out to the sidewalk in her new “uniform”, with the hair dryer and a legal pad so she could write down the grocery list.  Every time a car would come roaring down the road, Mom would look up, point the hairdryer at them, and, and write something down.  

I remember listening to brakes squeal all day the first time she tried it, Mercedes and BMWs screeching to a crawl as they passed the school, glaring at her.   By that afternoon, cars were creeping along at an over-cautious 10mph, and I was able to get home without taking my life into my hands.

After that, Mom went out “in uniform” every couple of days, because intermittent re-enforcement is what REALLY gets a change in behavior going, and point the hair dryer at anyone speeding through the school zone, usually while writing down grocery lists or short stories, or drawing unflattering caricatures of the other PTA moms.

Eventually, however, one of the cars that came through was a patrol car, and he slowly pulled to a halt in front of mom, glaring at her though his own reflective glasses.

She smiled an waved the hair dryer.  “Good afternoon!”

“…What’re you doing?”  he groaned, 3 in the afternoon entirely too early for this shit.

“Writin’ a grocery list.”  She beamed, and when that failed to satisfy him, she explained about the speeding problem and that if they couldn’t send a partol car out here to ticket people regularly, she figured that a hair dryer would be the next best thing.  Working like a charm so far.  They didn’t even notice the little airplanes on the Pilot’s hat.

The officer stared at her for a moment longer before his face broke out into a slow grin.  “Y’know, when we’re out of a car, we usually wear visibility vests.  So more people see you and your… Phaser.”

And that’s the story of how Mom and Officer Brown met and started the neighborhood watch program.

Realizing how alone you are is one of the worst feelings.
— 

A message to someone I love

(@crxwn-qxeen)

anonymous asked:

I had a dream that I caught you playing frisbee with my dogs in the backyard. When I asked you if you were that piano guy, you jumped over the fence and ran down the street never to be seen again.

that was no dream

IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE BOOTLEG

Jeremy’s massive thing of Aveeno and tissues. Same.

Will Connolly has nice legs.

Jeremy tucks in his shirt? What a nerd.

The choreography in More Than Survive is legendary.

Chloe is an asshole. Also, I’m pretty sure Jeremy was going to defend Jenna? Good boy.

Jeremy is so gleeful when he sees the sign up sheet? Fuck everyone who says he only signed up for Christine- this boy clearly wanted to do it, he was just too scared to go for it.

The sad look as he realizes that the signup is just going to end in humiliation.

CHRISTINE’S LIP BALM??? Get moisturized!

IS MY MACBOOK PRO HARD DRIVE

Brooke’s hair is gorgeous.

Jeremy bops along to Michael’s rap, which is adorable. It also shows that he’s only really comfortable around him- compare Jeremy in the chorus of More Than Survive, where he’s flailing and totally unable to keep with the choreography to Two Player Game, where he and Michael are completely in sync.

Handshake is repeated in Two Player Game! Motif confirmed!

Speaking of which, Michael himself is totally with the choreography. I think this can be taken as either him accepting his place in the hierarchy, or at least having the social skills to navigate it. Either way, it makes sense that he has trouble relating to Jeremy’s frustration with fitting in- in his own way, he already does.

Also, the prop and scene transitions are fantastic? The entire set is ridiculously versatile, and it’s incredible how seamless the transitions are and how they blend into the dancing. Also, the fucking sky bean bags. Who do you think had to stand up on the catwalks and drop those? I wanna know.

At 7:40 we have some quality hand flapping action? I mean, this entire scene is great- Jeremy stands up straighter and looks so genuinely excited, and he runs up to the poster, so ready to get genuinely into this play… and then Rich calls him gay and publically humiliates him.

Speaking of Rich, he’s kind of a dick in this, isn’t he? I mean, the whole bullying thing definitely is not a mild issue- Rich spends most of his time attacking Jeremy. At 2:40 he straight up punches Jeremy in the nuts, he actually lays hands on him during the “BOYF” scene, and when he’s singing to him, at one point he’s clearly about to punch him. Hard.

Speaking of that moment, I want to point out Jeremy’s instantaneous reaction to Rich raising his hand. That’s not a normal reaction. Normal people block their faces, obviously, but the way Jeremy automatically does it before Rich even finishes raising his hand, that’s not normal. That’s what people do when they’ve been hit. A lot.

Anyways, Michael is amazing? Such a supportive friend. So many good friendly touches. 9:45’s little face pat, and the entirety of Two Player Game stick out.

“WELL I’M JEREMY!”

And lemme talk about I Love Play Rehearsal too. I love Christine, and she’s so amazingly extra in everything she does. I also love how happy Jeremy is listening to her, even if he’s too nervous to talk, and how Christine is totally cool with that! They have a lot of great chemistry in this!

I also love how it’s absolutely obvious that Christine is horrible at reading the room and is constantly unaware of the innuendos she’s making. My beautiful, oblivious daughter.

And, she’s so comfortable with him! You go girl! Shout at the sweaty man!

Jeremy is a ball of spastic energy. Constantly. I can relate.

Shout out to Jeremy putting his hands over his lap. It’s okay man. We all have boners for Christine.

Jeremy’s little smile during her song? It’s adorable. 100% wholesome. He’s so in love.

And Christine poking his… like, everywhere? Cute as hell.

And for that matter, Jeremy’s nervous tic of smoothing down his hair? Really cute. He does it a lot too!

Jake is apparently also on the Frisbee Golf Team. Make of that what you will.

Mr. Reyes hugging Christine. Quality comforting. My poor daughter, who then proceeds to harass him during the Hot Pocket Break. Perfect girl.

She also seems really hesitant initially with Jake. Her body language is very much “Leave me alone please.”

Jeremy has canonically had to go to the nurse over breakdowns.

Rich has seen Mr. Reyes urinate. This isn’t important, but like. It happened. Why.

Rich spends the entire discussion before his song urinating while rolling his hips. And doesn’t wash his hands. Then puts said hands all over Jeremy. Jeremy has indirectly touched Rich’s dick.

Rich’s lisp comes back when he shouts at Jeremy, then he slaps himself. Damn, that’s heartbreaking.

Also, irrelevant to Rich, but Jeremy’s hands are in his pockets 85% of the time. Like a bisexual penguin.

Rich at 20:33 keeps touching Jeremy’s face. He still has not washed his hands.

AGAIN, RICH WAS ABOUT TO SERIOUSLY FUCK UP JEREMY’S FACE, AND FROM HIS IMMEDIATE, REFLEXIVE REACTION, WE CAN TELL THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE.

Please, someone make a tutorial for the SQUIP hand gestures. I love them.

Rich makes Jeremy stand straight. Foreshadowing much?

When Rich sings “Rule!” at 22:25, he does the rising fist motion from Pitiful Children.

Jeremy’s flailing at 23:09, beautiful anxious deer child. He’s beauty, he is grace, he’s gonna shove a SQUIP in his face.

“Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?”

Rich flashing Jeremy while he shouts about how the SQUIP makes it so he doesn’t get piss on his hands.

Rich is a nasty boy.

Jeremy’s reprise of the SQUIP Song is great.

YEET

Michael has reentered the narrative and they both sound so happy to see each other.

Beanbags, our twin heavenly Lords and Saviors, are made with space fabric.

Jeremy and Michael move in perfect tandem, like holy shit. They straight up swap controllers for a bit and keep playing as they talk and dance and annoy each other? Incredible.

This is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen. So full of holes.

Michael tickles Jeremy? GOOD SHIT.

Jeremy steals Michael’s controller and his face has such glee. So playful. So pure.

Friendly reminder that part of the reason Jeremy took the SQUIP and kept obeying it was fear of become his father- depressed and negligent.

The awkward hell of having to stare at Mr. Heere’s crotch. Every time he shows up. Jeremy, I feel your pain.

Mr. Heere goes in for the hair tussle and is brutally rejected by his son. In general, Jeremy is really upset by his parents, both his dad and his deadbeat mom.

Michael is super insecure.

Honestly, this whole thing is like watching the build up to a tragedy. It’s honestly unnerving to now Jeremy’s going to get the living shit kicked out of him.

Jeremy flipping Michael off at 29:07 is my aesthetic.

Rich and Jake helping with the scene transitions are amazing.

Michael’s constant glaring at Spooky Stock Boy is legendary. Quality moral support here.

Every Time Jeremy’s voice cracks, I triple in power.

The robotic backup singers and theremin during Stock Boy’s reprise are my sexuality.

Tag yourself, I’m massive hat lady.

“Minty?”

MICHAEL IS SO FUCKING HYPED FOR THAT PEPSI, DAMN SON.

More quality Jer-flaps at 34:23.

JEREMY’S SEIZURE. HOLY SHIT MY SON IS IN PAIN. ALL WHUMP IS CANON.

I mean, seriously, that’s an actual goddamn seizure. That’s horrifying.

NO JENNA DON’T RECORD JEREMY DYING, GET FUCKING MEDICAL ATTENTION.

Christine is so fucking worried, and she pushes Jake away for making fun of Jeremy. I love her.

ERIC’S HERE BITCHES.

my experience seeing bmc

-JAKES SHOELACES ARE ORANGE THEYRE SO OBNOXIOUS

-the scene where chloe and brooke r talking to christine brooke says like “jake sucks!!” or something and chloe whips around and shrieks “NO HE DOESNT” and honestly? mood

-the guy playing michael is totally playing him as Jealous Gay Best Friend or at least. he was SO DONE with jeremy’s pining over christine bullshit BUT HE WAS DEF HAPPY WHEN THEY DID GET TOGETHER

-JAKE CALLED EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITES EXTRA CIRCULAR ACTIVITY i was weak

-when jeremy went “optic nerve blocking: on” one of the people behind me went “oh my god.”

-WHENEVER MR REYES WENT “our funds will go to the frisbee golf organization!” ONE OF THE EXTRAS WENT “YES!!” the extras are so funny i would straight up die for them

-as jeremy was purchasing the squip and the stockpeople were showing it to him michael stretched his camera over jeremy’s head to take a picture inside the box fjsksks it was so funny

-THE GIRLS ARE SO FUNNY

-CHRISTINE IS HILARIOUS

-also christine’s outfit is so cute she’s wearing those leggings that are like cat leggings

-BROOKE IS PRECIOUS AND ALSO HILARIOUS

-do you wanna ride was SO FUNNY

-THE SQUIP IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED

-he Hits Some Notes

-ALSO during be more chill pt. two jeremy was SO EXCITED TO BECOME POPULAR

-MICHAEL DABBED DURING “COOL IN COLLEGE” google search how to unstan michael mell

-OK SO DURING THE PART WHERE ALL OF THE POPULAR KIDS RUN INTO PLAY REHEARSAL RICH WALKED IN AND HUMPED THE BACK OF JEREMYS CHAIR FJSJDJSJSIDJSJS

-the squip song was SO FUNNY

-ALSO DURING UPGRADE CHRISTIME AND JAKE MADE! OUT! THEY STRAIGHT UP MADE OUT SON

-also during be more chill pt 2 jake and one of the extras picked up jeremy and put him on their shoulders and when they set him down on his bed the bed went “KRRRRK” and the squip went “BE CAREFUL WITH HIM”

intermission

-HALLOWEEN WAS AWESOME

-the chemistry between christine and jeremy is so dorky and cute fjdisidiidisksks

-JAKE AND JEREMY HAD A DANCE BATTLE I WAS LOSIN IT

-also whenever jake réaliséd jeremy and chloe were Bangin’ he straight up PUNCHED OUT THE WINDOW TO HIS PARENTS BEDROOM

-OH ALSO at the end of ‘HALLOWEEN’ it didn’t end like it does with the music trailing off but rich went off stage going in a very broken, robotic voice, “halloween. halloween. halloween.” i was fjskskskkdskkskd. u can very clearly see how heavily he’s relying on his squip by this point to the point where he can’t even function normally without it IDK it was moving to me

-ALSO!!!!!! jake dillinger can’t emotionally deal with anything he does Not Know how girls work. i really believe he and christine would’ve worked out if he was just a little more not deaf to the emotions of those around him

-PITIFUL CHILDREN IS SO LIT

-the steady increase and change of the squips appearance from normal to Evil Villain is SO COOL

-GOD i love the squip

-also i cried during michael in the bathroom but if anyone asks What No I Didn’t

-CHRISTINE COMES OUT RIGHT BEFORE THE PLAY AND THE CURTAINS ARE SHUT AND ITS JUST LIKE AN AVERAGE HIGH SCHOOL PLAY IDK ITS REALLY ENDEARING AND CUTE

-also i am 1048289392% convinced christine canigulas entire wardrobe comes from justice

-MR REYES WEARING JEREMYS PLAY COSTUME HAD ME WEAK

-y’all. JEREMYS DAD WAS SO FUNNY

-THE PANTS SONG IS SUCH A BOP!!! A STRAIGHT UP BANGER

-everyone 30+ was LOSING THEIR SHIT at the pants song they all thought it was the funniest shit

-ALSO AT MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE THE GUY PLAYING MICHAEL RAN PAST ME (i was sitting by the aisle) AND HIS FEET WENT DUNK DUNK DUNK DUNK DUNK RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND LIKE SHOOK THE GROUND AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A STAMPEDE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING IT WAS TERRIFYING

-he sure did make an entrance. hoo boy did he EVER

-in the finale chloe and brooke had switched shirts and uh. they fuckin

-whenever the squip said “everything about you is so terrible” he did this weird. hitting the floor seductress thing?? it was so weird

-also michael thrusted on the broke squip as it stumbled past him during the finale

-DURING THE PART WHERE THEY ALL SCREAM AND COLLAPSE AS THE SQUIP LEAVES MICHAEL JUST STOOD OVER ALL THE BODIES, STAREDFOR A SECOND AND WENT “FUCK”

-also in the middle of the smartphone hour brooke dropped her phone and shrieked