witch's house spoilers

On Cursed Child (SPOILERS AHEAD)


• Albus and Scorpius being best friends 

• Albus and Scorpius both being in Slytherin

• Scorpius being a total Cinnamon Roll, and the biggest possible nerd

• Draco being a good father
 and being able to set his ideas and problems aside in an attempt to understand his son

• Draco going to the Potter’s house to confront Harry about his terrible decision to keep the kids apart

• There being a conversation involving Draco and Ginny about how feeling lonely and misunderstood can take you to really bad places

• Engorgimpressed

• Literally every joke actually

• Getting to see the kind side of Draco

• Ron asking Hermione to renew their vows because he loves her too much and he can’t believe they weren’t married in other realities

• Ronmione being ‘constantly surprised’ by their love but always in the most positive and adorable way
• Draco slowly and reluctantly becoming friends with them almost exclusively because of their parenting problems


• Ron running the joke shop and sending everyone stupid gifts for Hogwarts

• Ginny being sarcastic and badass while still being a total sweetheart and good mom

• Ron’s dad jokes

• Wizard nursing homes being the best thing ever

• McGonagall still being principal

• Fred and George / the Marauders trying to get out of the Hogwarts Express and having their asses kicked by the fucking trolley witch

• Harry naming his kid Albus Severus not because he thought these men were perfect but as a way of acknowledging their flaws, the fact that they were great people regardless of them and to remind both Albus and himself that people are imperfect and you should never expect them to be more than human

• Harry being zero anti Slytherin

• Hagrid meeting baby Harry for the first time and being the sweetest thing

• The fact that even though she wasn’t the only one involved in the writing I could still see JK’s hand in there

• The way time-traveling is described

• The fact that I didn’t find the script format annoying at all

• Harry being afraid of Pigeons

• Dudley sending Harry the blanket

• Harry doing most of the cooking

• Ginny writing about sports for the Daily Prophet


• Voldemort and Bellatrix??? I literally have so many questions about this, how was it possible for them to do it? Was Bellatrix even pregnant?

• HETERONORMATIVITY: why have these two characters who are so obviously in love with each other and work so well together flirt through the entire book only to brush it off with some mediocre awkward straight crushes. I literally see no problem in having those two end up together and it kills me that LGBTQ+ kids like myself will once again get no representation at all in the wizarding world.

• Rose being so close-minded, arrogant and reluctant to accept Scorpius. I feel that considering who her parents are she should have known better…

• LITERALLY EVERYONE BEING ANTI-SLYTHERIN like I thought we were over this. JKR confirmed herself that Slytherins aren’t evil and the fact that a (kind of) canon story has the entirety of Hogwarts shaming Albus for being in this house that I personally consider to be wonderful bothers me.

• Harry being a terrible father

• Harry not considering Sirius, Arthur, Hagrid, etc. to be father figures and role models for him

• Hermione being lonely and unsuccessful in a reality in which she didn’t marry Ron

• All the time-traveling mess

• Cedric becoming evil just because he lost the tournament like what the hell? We’re talking about the purest, most generous hufflepuff to ever exist, it has to take more to bring him down

• The rumors about Scorpius being Voldemort’s son, they were so awkward and off topic and I can’t really find a reason for them to be there
• Amos being so mean and blaming Harry for Cedric’s death (I understand he’s old and lonely and everything but still)

• Where on earth is Teddy Lupin????

• The way most of the characters from the past were portrayed

• That Harry had to watch his parents die

• James and Lilly Jr. not doing anything to make his brother’s life less miserable

• James and Lilly Jr. actually not being important at all (?)

• The fact that even though this was supposed to be our chance to return to Hogwarts we didn’t get to see a lot of regular life at the school or anything of the sort

• Snape suddenly being so nice

• Double casting in cases like Amos / Dumbledore, Snape / Voldemort, Myrtle / Lilly, Cedric / both James or Trolley Witch / McGonagall

Porpentina ‘Tina’ Goldstein

Born: 1901
Profession: Auror for the Magical Congress of the United States of America
Wizarding School: Ilvermorny