Janitors are magic and you should be nice to them:
- they have ALL THE KEYS - they are in the building when no one else is, a liminal space - they clean everything and cleaning is important - they know about all the little broom closets - also janitors are people and you should at least say hello
one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista
and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your
attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art,
writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re
cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s
becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my
assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s
actually a really nice sketch” AU.
the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I
intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing
out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because
people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but
I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never
really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond
over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an
awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here
let me help you” AU.
Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook
nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious
and I think I love you???” AU.
gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage
to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re
apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take
you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering
their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and
drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and
now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both
screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t
know either of you” AU.
mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and
now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying
everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag
of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to
take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the
chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic
to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort
and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the
belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon
but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the
hell man” AU.
mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on
sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your
life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your
packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other
booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and
wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re
the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles
Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because
it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you
please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around
outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m
just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re
dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re
a dork” AU.
been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through
for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what
to make of you” AU.
sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you
read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should
drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but
follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries
are you a witch” AU
a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work
part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you
eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile”
the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and
everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling
in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here
regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how
about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in
on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you
in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s
also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your
napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam
art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master
the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much
coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling
you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for
ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it
turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as
the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk
about it?” AU.
day in 1692, three women were brought before local magistrates in Salem
Village, Massachusetts, thus beginning the infamous Salem Witch Trials. The
women were Sarah Good, Sarah Osborne and Tituba and all three had been accused
of witchcraft after local girls began experiencing strange fits. Given the lack
of medical knowledge at the time and the preponderance of beliefs in the
supernatural, witchcraft was the only logical explanation for their condition.
The accused women matched the description of the stereotypical witch: Good was
a beggar, Osborne rarely went to church and Tituba was a slave of different
ethnicity. The women were interrogated by magistrates John Hathorne and
Jonathan Corwin and Tituba eventually confessed to witchcraft, claiming Good
and Osborne were her co-conspirators. The three were then sent to jail; Osborne
died in jail, Good was hanged and Tituba (as a useful confessor) was kept alive
and eventually released after the trials ended. The initial interrogation was
followed by many more accusations of witchcraft throughout the village and the
surrounding area, fueled perhaps by local rivalries, poisoned grain or just
mass fear. The manhunt resulted in 19 ‘witches’ being hanged, one pressed to
death and hundreds more imprisoned in horrendous conditions. The event is a
famous example of mass hysteria and has become a cautionary tale for religious
extremism and false accusations.