witch!!! witch!! pilgrims!! pilgrims!!

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WTF Disney: America on Parade’s Cruel & Unusual Punishment Float

Disneyland’s America on Parade premiered in the summer of 1975 to commemorate the United States’ bicentennial. Among the many creepy, dead-eyed ‘humans’ featured on the parade’s floats were these two unfortunate Colonials – a young blonde boy locked up in the stocks, and a scared-stiff Salem girl being repeatedly dunked on charges of Witchcraft.

WTF, Disney?!

I do not know if 6B is average or not, but this is how they are. They are divided into girls and boys with an invisible line down the middle of the room and people only cross that line when teachers make them. Girls are divided into real girls (Theresa Mullett) and imitations (Estelle Green). And me. And boys are divided into real boys (Simon Silverson), brutes (Daniel Smith) and unreal boys (Nirupam Singh). And Charles Morgan. And Brian Wentworth. What makes you a real girl or boy is that no one laughs at you. If you are an imitation or unreal, the rules give you a right to exist provided you do what the real ones or brutes say. What makes you into me or Charles Morgan is that the rules allow all the girls to be better than me and all the boys better than Charles Morgan. They are allowed to cross the invisible line to prove this. everyone is allowed to cross the invisible line to be nasty to Brian Wentworth.
— 

Nan Pilgrim, on the social hierarchy of high school.

Diana Wynne Jones, Witch Week.

This is by far the most accurate description of the social structure in high school in a novel. When I read this for the first time, I instantly saw the truth in it, and identified with Nan and Charles. Theresa Mullet is obviously the Queen Bee bitch. Estelle Green is decent, but nothing original. Nan is the dorky outcast girl. I also like the fact that there seems to be more social mobility among the boys. Even though they bully Charles Morgan, they still treat him as a human being compared to the way the girls treat Nan - very true of high school social dynamics. The unofficial social barrier amon women are far more restricted than among men.

This, people, is game theory in fantasy. In a way, Dianna Wynne Jones was far superior to Tolkien and Rowling in correctly describing what actually happens in social interactions between certain types of people.

Post witch week headcanons:

  • charles refers to his weird half-remembered dreams of the old world as chocolate mousse in his journal because they are equally rare and insubstantial
  • nirupam and estelle date for a week a few months after halloween because everyone seems to expect them to, which leads to them coming out as gay/bi respectively in a coffee shop after staring at each other in silence for 5 minutes because neither of them are romantically attracted to each other at all
  • nan’s story about a world where guy fawkes actually did something wins an award for a historical fantasy writing contest. this starts off her successful writing career 
  • dan and brian almost get expelled for filling the school swimming pool with shoes on april fool’s day
  • charles realizes that he likes nirupam romantically when he’s 16. he freaks out very quietly and doesn’t tell anyone until nan asks him if he thinks that she has any chance with estelle. they start meeting up frequently to discuss their hopeless crushes, which makes everyone think they’re dating which makes estelle and nirupam confused and jealous
  • charles and nirupam start dating after dan makes yet another joke about charles being gay and he finally gets sick of it and tells him, “demisexual and homoromantic, actually” and nirupam finally gets up the courage to ask him out
  • nan and estelle start dating after estelle realizes that nan only writes romantic poems about girls and so she kisses her
  • estelle becomes a riding instructor
  • charles starts a charity to help neurodivergent kids with magical abilities because he knows how hard it is to grow up like that and have no one to help you
  • theresa is a very successful plastic surgeon 
  • nan buys a very pretty silk dress, this time in a color that suits her
  • nirupam and charles adopt two kids 
  • charles, nan, nirupam, and estelle still always gets together on guy fawkes night for a bonfire every year

Early readings: Increased metabolism. Improved thermal homeostasis. 
Early readings: Neuro-electric sensitivity. Micro-cellular manipulation.

Avengers: Age of Ultron Prelude: This Scepter’d Isle by Will Corona Pilgrim & Wellinton Alves

Anyone want to explain what the words in that bottom panel mean?

The only new information in this comic is that Hydra is using some kind of anti-war liberation movement, which Wanda and Pietro are part of, as cover. This explains the “if they find out we serve Hydra” line in the post-credits scene with Strucker. No one knows that Strucker and these Hydra guys are actually Hydra, so I’m guessing the reaction when the Avengers, including Iron Man who was involved in the bombing of their country, show up to fight them will not be positive. These prelude comics aren’t 100% reliable (and sometimes, the stuff in them is thrown out), but this makes sense and Hydra’s already pretended to be Shield for decades so it’s probably right.

And, for the record, anyone who tells you this comic says the twins are Inhumans is a goddamn liar. There is not a word about Inhumans anywhere in this. There is another mention of the scepter and the Tesseract being related somehow, but the guy who figures out how they’re related gets shot before he can explain it.