In June 2014, Hajime Isayama posted a song on his blog that he thought would be fitting for Bertholdt. It was called “The Season I Want to Die”.
I caught the cherry blossoms while suicide bombing Holy voices playing a melody Find me right now
Hey, that’s right. If we give up Somehow life becomes easier
When @didanwhisperer first posted it, I remember wondering if Isayama was trolling us or giving us new insight. With chapter 78, I think I have that answer.
This chapter drew unmistakable parallels between Bertholdt and Mikasa. They were born into a cruel world. Acknowledging that cruelty made them strong. Mikasa stopped shaking; Bertholdt stopped sweating. Their fear was replaced with clarity and control.
But it’s the areas where Mikasa and Bert diverge that I find most interesting. When facing the cruelty of the world, Mikasa could look beyond it to see beauty and love. She chose to focus on those things and in doing so, she found the strength to live.
That hasn’t happened to Bertholdt. While his love for Annie and Reiner are undeniable, he’s drawn clear lines. Annie can be fed to the pigs and Reiner may not survive the blast. Bertholdt is ok with that. Friendships are of secondary importance to him.
I almost get the sense that Bertholdt views killing them all as merciful. The cruelty of the world is too much for him. He can’t fight it. He thinks back to Marco’s death and the betrayal of his friends as tests of his resolve.
Still, he’s no monster. I laughed at how quickly he tried to reassure Armin that he wasn’t evil. He didn’t want Armin to die thinking it was his fault. Essentially Bertholdt tells him, “You are my friends and you are good people. You’ve done nothing wrong but I have to kill you.” He says it with a calm and earnest expression like somehow it will make sense to us.
If I’m being honest, very little in this chapter made sense. I am once again left with more questions than answers and I find my frustration growing. Why does humanity have to die? Why did the peace within the walls come with an expiration date? Who really is the enemy?
Bertholdt’s character song ends on an ominous note:
I want to hurry up and die, I want to hurry up and die, It’s that kind of death wish season.
I wonder if Bertholdt is thinking along those same lines. Perhaps he’s able to accept the deaths of everyone he care for because he believes his own death won’t be far behind.
Thank you all so much for being who you are and for making my experience on Tumblr that much better. I never did much on here until this summer and I regret that–I really wish I could have met some of you sooner! In any case, let’s look forward to the future: I wish everyone a happy new years and a wonderful 2015.
Kalau ada satu lagu yang paling tepat merangkum tahun 2014 buatku, mungkin lagu itu adalah lagu ini:
Not Your Year by The Weepies
Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall Some impressions stay and some will fade Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor Your life feels like the morning after all year long.
Every day it starts again You cannot say if you’re happy You keep trying to be Try harder, maybe this is not your year.
Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected There’s a world of shiny people somewhere else Out there following their bliss living easy, getting kissed while you wonder what else you’re doing wrong
Breathe through it, write a list of desires Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires Paint a heart repeating, beating “don’t give up, don’t give up, don’t give up.”
Tak jarang selama 2014 dengan penuh rasa bingung dan sedih aku mengadu pada diri sendiri, bertanya kenapa hidup itu begitu susah? Tak jarang aku rasanya ingin menghilang cukup lama dan ga harus ambil keputusan-keputusan besar itu. Tak jarang juga, Ben yang terpaksa menjadi saksinya.
Terlepas dari foto-foto instagram yang ceria, 2014 sungguh adalah tahun yang berat, penuh kerja keras buatku untuk menghadapi bahkan melawan diriku sendiri. Tahun di mana keinginanku untuk belajar melepaskan akhirnya menjadi kenyataan. Tahun di mana aku menjadi hal-hal yang bukan-aku, semata-mata untuk menemukan aku.
Tapi, aku ga bisa bilang bahwa aku ga bahagia. Justru di tahun 2014 aku akhirnya bisa merangkul kegagalan, kesedihan dan kehilangan dan menerimanya sebagai bagian dari memahami kebahagiaan itu sendiri. Inikah yang mereka sebut-sebut sebagai kedewasaan? Kebijaksanaan? Entahlah, apapun itu, aku sebenernya ga mikirin sih labelnya karena dengan sebuah label proses ini terkesan menjadi sebuah akhir, sebuah pencapaian. Sedangkan, apakah betul semua dalam hidup ini harus berakhir pada sebuah pencapaian?
Di malam terakhir tahun 2014 ini, aku merasa… tenang. Meski sekali dua kali emosi-emosi eksesif masih mengalir melalui nadi dan membuncah di jantung, aku… merasa aku. Dan aku bahagia sekali, pada akhirnya aku bisa menjalani hari demi hari tanpa penyesalan sedikitpun.
Begitu banyak rencana yang sedang aku persiapkan untuk 2015. Membuat rencana itu menyenangkan sekali ya. Bermimpi memupuk harapan-harapan lama. Seperti bunga-bunga. Semoga mereka semua bisa bersemi tahun depan, meski aku paham, harus ada yang mati di antaranya.
Selamat menyambut tahun baru 2015 ya, teman-teman. Semoga kita bisa menjadi manusia yang benar-benar bahagia.
I was inspired by Blue to do a similar favorite/best posts of 2014 since the generator spit out mostly favorite cc posts and downloads, all of which were from my ts3 game. My simblr is a mix of ts2 and ts3 and I wanted my best of…post to represent that. So thank you Blue for the wonderful idea (you have so many). These photos are in no particular order, they are simply my favorite.
This simblr has been active for one year and in that time I’ve met so many wonderful and inspirational people. I love all my followers and I wish each and every one of you a happy holiday season. I will see you all in 2015!!!!
i’m thinking out loud, that maybe we found love right where we are.
—ed sheeran, thinking out loud
Happy New Year to all my followers (and anyone else who may come across this post)! Thank you all for sticking with me through the craziness of 2014. I hope 2015 is nothing but better for each and every one of you :)
although this is a little rushed, i needed to draw something to mark my favourite holiday!!! i hope that absolutely everyone has a wonderful Christmas time whatever you are doing, i wish i could give gifts to you all~
i will also try to get a spare moment to do a ‘follow forever’ type post tomorrow (or soon at least) to thank everyone for being so kind and helpful to me this year ♡♡♡
now i am going to bed to make sure Father Christmas can come and leave some gifts for my family…i am the only one left awake in the house OTL………….please bring me SHINee wrapped up in some cute bows…….
here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!*:・ﾟ✧
I just wanted to say how I’m grateful to each of you, you are all wonderful! Thank you all for following me and the lovely messages, I can’t explain how much your support and affection mean to me. 2014 was an amazing year, and I hope we’re together again in this new phase of our lives. Just thank you! I’m always here for you. I wish you all a Happy New Year! Love, Elizângela. <3
My precious moment 2014 (actually one of many and one of the few that was SFW, okay that was a lie… Only SFW precious moments in 2014)
Spending a whole weekend with lani-pix and stephiramona in Vienna, taking sh*tloads of photos, singing and drinking (not in that order), talking about Tumblr (yes, we talked about each and every one of you) and having an overall fantastic time. Thank you both!
hello everyone, this is rhiza and i used to be damnlucas.
i just wanna greet all of you a merry christmas or happy holidays and i hope the rest of 2014 will be wonderful to you, i also wish that you’ll get all the presents you want on christmas!! thank you so much to all the people i get to know this 2014 and even we’re not that close but we’re mutuals, still, thank you so much. it’s been an amazing year for me tbh and if you had a crappy year, i really hope that 2015 will be much better. i really really love you all so much c:
2014 was a wonderful year to be a Benedict fan! All the new projects, photoshoots, interviews and events… The Imitation Game and all the awards nominations! Doctor Strange, his own Marvel franchise! Series 3 of Sherlock, his Emmy Awards and all the expectations towards his Hamlet! Also his personal accomplishments that he chose to share with us!
This blog has been one of the best things to me this year. It bought me friends and happiness.
And I couldn’t do everything I did here without your support.
So thank you for making my 2014 a better one! Thank your for reblogging my posts and for all your compliments! Thank your for your messages and replies. Thank your for being here, fangirling and celebrating the happiness of another human being. Thank you very much!
I hope you all have an incredible 2015! I wish you all the best! And I hope Benedict has another wonderful year, I hope we stay here, together, watching him win his first Oscar celebrating his career for another year!