wish you were in more things!

Whispered Wishes

When I was a kid there were these flowers that grew like wild everywhere. You could pick them and pop the heads off and say a little rhyme. You could rub the top of the flower on your hand and it would stain your hand yellow. There were fields of them everywhere you looked. Then there was a magical time of year when these flowers turned from yellow to a puffy white. I was told that if you blew on these special puffs the seeds would fly off and you could make a wish.

The first time I picked one of these cotton balls and blew I whispered my wish and as the wind carried the white wispy feathers it was like they were carrying my wish right to ear of God. I felt like my dreams could come true. I picked more of these special wish flowers and made wish after wish. I wished for things kids do like a puppy or a pony, to be a princess, a ballerina, and be a famous singer. I would lay in my wilderness of dreams and hope for these special things to come true. As I grew older I never gave up hope that these flowers would provide me with wishes although my wishes changed with time to things like security, unconditional love, and to not be afraid of the dark anymore.

As I picked a puff this morning I pondered before I wished and began to cry. It hit me like a brick to the chest. I have wished and wished but I have never had a pony, I was not a princess or a ballerina, and I was still scared of the dark.

I was first disappointed, then became furious. I threw it down. I looked into my yard and ran. I began frantically pulling out these destroyers of dreams, these causers of false hope. I punched my fist into the ground and pulled them from the root and as I did I could feel my hope being pulled from soul. I plucked and seized these dandelions until I had no strength left. Exhaustion set in until I could barely breath.

I looked at the pile of weeds in my lap and yet again, cried. What had I done? These weren’t waste. These were wishes. What was life without them? A life without dreaming or hope? I couldn’t imagine. I looked over to my left and saw a lonely enchanted bloom. I walked over refreshed and exhausted but with a new frame of mind. Maybe a simpler wish would do. To simply make it through a day and smile just once.

I laid down on the ground so as not to disturb its roots, closed my eyes, got really close to the seed head and blew. I simply will not know a life without whispered wishes.

@excerpts-from-my-mind

——————————

☆☆FANART☆☆

anonymous asked:

Hey, just wanted to send you support and reassurance that not everyone is about the drama. Some of us are here for fun, positive energy, artistic, emotional and creative exchange, and incisive commentary that does not rely on condescension or cruelty. You are wonderful at all of those things and a part of the fandom I enjoy very much. No need to answer this publicly if it's all too much nonsense, I totally get it, just wanted you to know.

Anon! I wish I knew who you were so that I could thank you more directly! Thank you so much :)

We could all use a bit more positivity of late, I think.

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

  • Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities
  • Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him
  • Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)
  • Picking a guy at random to be attracted to
  • Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing
  • Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them
  • Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way
  • Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with
  • Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate
  • Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them
  • Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them
  • Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

  • Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man
  • Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

  • Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

  • Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

  • Going along with escalation because it seems like the 'appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

  • Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness
  • Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

  • Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic
  • Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually
  • Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends
  • Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals
  • Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless
  • After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with
  • Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

  • Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted
  • OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore
  • Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred
  • Using sex with men as a form of self-harm
  • Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)
  • Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it
  • Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him
  • Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing
  • Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

  • Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women
  • Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else
  • Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)
  • Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend
  • Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic
  • Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent
  • Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate
  • Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”
  • When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”
  • Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people
  • Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)
  • Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

  • Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women
  • Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media
  • Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”
  • Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men
  • Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+
  • Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.
  • Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

  • Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
  • Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
  • Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
  • Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
  • Really focusing on the women in het porn
  • Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

  • Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian
  • Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
  • Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

  • Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be
  • Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy
  • Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men
  • Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you
  • Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN VENEZUELA? // long post, but worth the read.

So, it’s official. The Constituent was approved. In the past 18 years, aka since Hugo Chávez was elected President of Venezuela, the government has altered election results to their benefit so it really isn’t strange to us that they would do it this time. However, we didn’t think they would be so shameless as to alter them this much. According to Tibisay Lucena (President of the Electoral Power) there was a total of 8.089.320 votes in favor of this Constituent, and these numbers simply don’t add. This past 16th of July a referendum was held where voters would have to answer to 3 questions about whether or not they agreed to move forward with the Constituent; the results? 6.492.381 votes made in Venezuela and 693.789 votes outside the country, meaning a total of 7.186.170 against the Constituent. While these two results add a total of 15.275.490 votes that fit under the 19.805.002 of venezuelans summoned to vote, here’s why yesterday’s number makes no sense:

  •  8.191.132 votes in favor of Hugo Chávez (Presidential elections of 2012). - While these numbers were most certainly altered, it’s no lie that at the time Chávez had a huge group of supporters, called Chavistas.
  • 7.505.338 votes in favor of Nicolás Maduro (Presidential elections of 2013). - These elections were made because of the recent death of Chávez, who knew he didn’t have much time left so he decided to brainwash all of his supporters to think Maduro was the best option for president. May I add, Nicolás Maduro doesn’t have any kind of educational degree, he literally was a bus driver before becoming president. Totally unqualified man. All his votes were bought or made up.
  • 5.599.025 votes in favor of the PSUV (Parliamentary elections of 2015) - PSUV stands for Partido Socialista Unido de Venezuela and would roughly translate to “United Socialist Party of Venezuela“, I think. These elections were a big deal to the oposition (represented by the MUD aka “Democratic Unity Roundtable”), because we owned the National Assembly with 112 deputies (67%) and 7.707.422 votes (56,2% of the total votes)

I think I’ve made my point as to why yesterday’s result of 8.089.320 votes is nothing but blatant lies, except that’s not all! Turns out that, in these past days between the referendum (July 16) and yesterday (July 30), any person making a buy that required a fingerprint scan or using a “carnet de la patria” (an id recently made to “ease the access to social programs”) would count as a vote in favor of the Constituent. This government spends so much time looking for ways to stay in power because they know that the majority of the country is against them, and obviously they won’t acknowledge that they’re not as “loved” as they used to be, or else they wouldn’t ignore the protests that have been going on for the past 121 days with at least 128 confirmed deaths (17 of them happened only yesterday).

Now I’m going to explain why this Constituent being approved is literally confirming we’re living under a dictatorship.

  • Venezuela becomes a communal state.
  • Private enterprise will be eliminated.
  • All private sector employees become public employees.
  • The right to private education will be eliminated. From preschool to universitary sector, including adoctrinamiento político on all levels of education.
  • Means of social communication will be at the service of communist power.
  • University autonomy will be eliminated.
  • Municipalities will be eliminated.
  • The president of the republic is the only one able to choose governors and mayors, without taking into account the opinion of the people.
  • The presidential term will last between 20 and 30 years, with chance of indefinite reelection, applicable to the current president.
  • The movement of citizens inside of the country will be limited, meaning you’ll need an official permit to travel around Venezuela.
  • International departures will be limited, meaning you’ll need an official permit to get out of the country.
  • All powers, public and private, disappear.
  • The armed force disappears, becoming fighting bodies integrated into the government’s party.
  • All political parties will be eliminated.
  • The right to protest will be eliminated.
  • Opposing or thinking differently than the government will be a crime of betrayal to the motherland, meaning freedom of speech disappears.
  • Article 350 of the actual Constitution, that establishes you can disown the authority when the Constitution is violated, will be eliminated.
  • Authorities can break into your house without a warrant.
  • People’s houses can’t be sold or inherited, becoming propiety of the state.
  • Life guarantee will be restricted, the regime has now custody of people’s lives.

This is really serious, and I wish more people were talking about it because what I’m doing right now will be literally considered a crime as soon as the National Constituent Assembly enters in action. I know you guys may think that reblogging, retweeteting and regraming some posts is not gonna help us, but trust me, they will. The government is putting up an act of “everything’s fine, we’re the same 1st world country we were +20 years ago” and we’re not. We’re being killed, tortured, starved, lied to and so much more horrifying things are being done to and against us. Let the world know what’s really happening in Venezuela, and who’s the real villain in the story.

LEO: You really don’t want to admit it, because it’s a pretty ridiculous thought, but you’re scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches you’ve experienced entails. Because you aren’t sure of who you are when you aren’t hurting and you don’t know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. It’s okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you haven’t had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. It’s okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You aren’t racing the clock.

VIRGO: You’re finally embracing the things you’ve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you don’t know why. Because isn’t this the thing you’ve been working towards? Isn’t this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I don’t think it’s right to assume that you’ve made the wrong decision here, but it’s important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon you’ll know if there’s anything that needs changing.

LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. You’re not the type to forget about the poor decisions you’ve made, or the mistakes you’ve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but I’m going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You haven’t fallen behind, you’re running with the wolves.

SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while it’s easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, it’s easier to identify those that haven’t. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you aren’t obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. You’re allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that can’t love you for that aren’t people that you need surrounding you, anyways.

SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that you’re destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isn’t what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that you’re a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls you’ve met and interacted with. You’re unique, and you’re a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words.

CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that they’re proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you haven’t had the energy to clean it off yet but you’re still standing tall and you’re still here and that’s something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isn’t something that you’re used to doing, but it’s time that you start; it’s time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesn’t have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day.

AQUARIUS: It’s been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because there’s a really loud voice in your head saying that it isn’t worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isn’t worth pursuing. But there’s a reason that you’re chasing what you are, right? It’s because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it.

PISCES: Lately you’ve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation you’re picturing as you read this, but you’re more than capable of surviving what’s follow you. Allow yourself to thrive.

ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that you’re familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. There’s too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible, or that you don’t already take care of the things that you need to, but you’re able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You aren’t chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of “being a grown-up.” Don’t lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you.

TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isn’t fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know you’re starting to wonder if it really is a “you-thing,” if the absences you’ve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be mean to yourself for things that aren’t exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when they’re coming home. You’ve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading “wish you were here” that you can almost predict each cards’ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I can’t guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that it’ll always come back to you. Even when you think it won’t. Especially then.

CANCER: It’s a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that you’re tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isn’t a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you aren’t. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Don’t forget that it won’t always feel like this. You won’t always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.

college advice from someone who’s been on both sides of it

So I’m finishing up my Ph.D. and preparing to depart for the real world (no, just kidding, I’m going to be in school forever, only in a different capacity) and I thought I’d put together a list of some college tips to share with you all. I graduated with my B.A. in 2012, magna cum laude, with 2 majors, 1 honours thesis, 2 on-campus jobs, and 3 music things. Since then, I’ve gone to grad school and also taught six semesters of first-year seminars. Now I’m going on the job market for teaching positions. All of this means that I’ve seen both sides of the college experience, as a student and as an instructor. There are a lot of great & useful college advice posts going around studyblr this time of here, and I wanted to add my own. I hope it’s useful. So here we go, with a “read more” because it’s long (sorry if you’re on mobile):

academics

  • find your classrooms ahead of time (profs’ offices too)
  • figure out how long it will take you to walk between places
  • figure out where your best seat will be & claim it
  • say hi to the people next to you, learn their names
  • take notes in class
  • take advantage of extra credit
  • try your best not to fall asleep in class (and if you do fall asleep, apologise to the prof afterwards)
  • bring your glasses if you need them, don’t be stubborn about it
  • check out the library, wander in the stacks, talk to the librarians
  • figure out how & where to print
  • buy used books/textbooks, or rent them, but be careful with ebooks (some profs don’t allow them)
  • plan breaks into your class schedule, or block everything together, whichever works best for you
  • work out the pros & cons of 8am classes and/or night classes
  • plan ahead – have a planner, put things in it, do them
    • fake deadlines are a thing (write down earlier deadlines, trick yourself into meeting them, bask in satisfaction)
  • grades won’t be what they were in high school
    • keep in mind GPA values: a 3.5 will see you graduating with honours
  • be nice to the departmental administrative staff, thank them for helping you (even with small things)
  • office hours versus emailing profs: both will get your questions answered (probably) but if you can go and talk in person, do it
  • profs & TAs are people too, they have lives, they have bad days
  • if something comes up, talk to your prof, be honest but don’t overshare, just show them you’re trying
  • on that note, try

Keep reading

1. The last time you made the mistake of making a home out of a pair of arms and a soft smile, you learned the hard way that anything that moves, that can blame, that can cause ache does not deserve such an elevated status in your heart. Still, you are an anomaly, a wild thing hoping for a home. A sailor wishing to leave the ocean and return.

2. I still remember a day when your father had lifted you in his arms and told you that you are loved, more than you ever know. It was two days before the plane crash that took him. It was two days before I saw death dance in your broken eyes for the first time. I don’t think it ever stopped dancing there.

3. Yesterday, someone asked you, “who do you trust most in the world?” And you felt that your lips were sewn shut. Everybody you should love and trusts’ names felt rough and raw on your tongue like they were in a foreign language that you had become too ancient to learn. So instead you whispered your own name like a secret into the abyss and hoped no one saw the sadness that had crawled it’s way along with your name out of your mouth.

4. A summer ago, you asked me what it was like to not need a place to call home. I know you asked this from a place of trauma, that your trauma has convinced you it will all be okay once you find a home. But it is lying, because what you need up find is your healing. And I told you that wanderlust had etched itself so ornately into my bones that I had no choice but to travel till it had sated itself. You looked at me with envy, even as I thought of all the people who would love to make a home of your heartbeat. You however were looking for a certain kind of love that you would call your very own. A kind of love that would never abandon you the way everyone you have ever loved has.

5. Something about you glowed bigger and better than all the stars we gazed at in the night sky. And even then, even when you had everything, you longed for a human to belong in. But everytime you laid the foundations for something good, they came crashing and tumbling down on your head. Because your trauma is a perfectionist and no one could quite become what you needed and wanted at the same time.

6. I wish I had told you then what I told you in that very last letter before I left. That child, why did no one ever teach you that you cannot turn people into homes? People are rivers, ever changing, ever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them. Still, that home you are hunting for does have a heartbeat. But it isn’t one locked in anyone else’s chest. Just look inside your own.

—  Nikita Gill, People Aren’t Homes
Wanna One as things I've heard on the bus
  • Yoon Jisung: I'm going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I'm outstanding.
  • Ha Sungwoon: Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.
  • Hwang Minhyun: I wish more people were fluent in silence.
  • Ong Seongwu: I never run with scissors. Those last two words were unnecessary.
  • Kim Jaehwan: I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?
  • Kang Daniel: Me? Mature? C'mon, I still laugh when the ketchup bottle farts.
  • Park Jihoon: I hate it when I'm eating cereal and the last few pieces are like, "Catch me if you can!"
  • Park Woojin: I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?" No, we pee in the yard.
  • Bae Jinyoung: Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I'm talking on it.
  • Lee Daehwi: A giraffe's coffe would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.
  • Lai Guanlin: Sometimes, I forget how to spell a word, so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it.
cute couple things — p.p.

summary : extended dating peter would include… ft. a bunch of random thoughts i had about peter being a cute soft boyfriend !!!

  • reads your favorite books and memorizes lines from them that he can sneak into conversations to make you smile :)
  • it’s v hard for him to not look at you when he’s with you he just always wants to be looking at your face
    • “it’s, like, really hard to stop staring at you”
    • “huh?”
    • “you’re so pretty i can’t stop looking wow”
  • lights up !!!! when you walk into a room even if he’s just seen you two minutes ago and you were only in the bathroom for like a second
  • kisses you all of your face whenever he can just infinite amounts of kisses pressed across your cheeks and your nose and your eyelids 
  • he doesn’t really do nicknames like he’s not a darling sort of person
  • if he’s gonna call you anything it’ll probably be babe/baby/pretty girl or something of that sort
  •  (i started the pretty girl trend on the low don’t @ me)
  • sometimes you call him bro and he gets so offended 
    • “listen,,, peter,,, bro,,,,”
    • y/NNNN i’m not bro!!!!!!”
    • “k bro”
    • “you’re the worst” 
  • his face resembles that of a disgruntled pouty kitten whenever you call him bro
  • in school he taps his cheek lightly while facing away from you until you give him a kiss there and does that periodically throughout the day until MJ throws a pencil at him
    • “peter enough she’s kissed you like fifty times in the past twenty minutes haven’t you had enough”
    • “it’s never enough”
  • hands down gives the best hugs ever!!!! sweetest, softest, warmest hugs that you never wanna leave and they leave you a blushy mess for hours
  • nerd who tells you that you’re prettier than any star in the sky
  • will fight for your honor even if it means getting punched in the nose by one of flash’s bigger friends because flash won’t take on peter himself
    • “fuck peter why would you even call flash a giant dick??? like i know he is one but why would you ever you know his friend is like some sort of mutant tree”
    • “he said your butt was nice i can’t just let that sort of comment slide babe it’s unacceptable”
  • always knows he can rant to you about science bc you actually listen!!! and you care!! and you ask questions and you make him SO HAPPy!!
  • asks for permission to do everything
    • “hey would it be cool if i held your hand right now”
    • “yes of course”
    • “oh awesome!”
  • you send him selfies and his replies vary but they’re usually along the lines of
    • “oh my gosh you’re so cute i’m coming over”
    • “i love you you angel let me kiss you tomorrow”
    • “wow i have a real liFE ethereal as the love of my life i love the world”
  • sends a goodnight/goodmorning text every day with each heart emoji he can find 
  • his entire recently used section is just different colored hearts and rainbows and sparkles because he uses emojis obnoxiously
  • he’s convinced that the worst thing in the world is having to leave you after a long day of hanging out on a saturday or something
  • will 10/10 complain for hours to may about going home because he’s not with you anymore and he’s clingy
  • you’re his best friend and he’s not afraid to scream about it
    • “my best friend is dating me!!!!!!! i’m so lucky i love them so much” 
    • “peter we know”
    • “well now you know just a little extra all right?”
  • wishes you were able to fall asleep in his arms more often but you’re still young and he’s like oh well we have forever to do that
  • you insult each other all the time basically but??? you both love it banter is everything
      • “penis parKER flash is clever tbh”
      • “you’re such a little shit i’m actually going to fight you”
      • “seriously i dare you put your fists up now”
  • if you post a selfie and he doesn’t like it right away you’ll text him seven times in a row hinting that he should go like and comment 
  • texts at four am about random conspiracy theories or weird facts that only you two would find interesting 
  • shoulders = pillows on the train/bus most of the time
  • he is such a slut for having his hair played with ngl
  • it makes him so happy n calm he could lie like that, with your fingers just raking through his hair, for hours on end
  • he’s never felt more at home than when you’re sitting with him at his kitchen table eating mushy mac and cheese that he tried to make himself because may wasn’t home to help him out as you playfully make fun of him for ruining pasta
  • listens to ed sheeran songs with you because he’s an ed lover honestly and every song makes him think of you
  • hand massages when you’re cramping up after long tests or in class essays that leave you super stressed n anxious (fuck u ruby thx for the idea that murdered me n my soft spirit)
  • knows how to settle you nerves better than anyone else and vice versa
  • puts his hands on your cheeks before he kisses you 
  • you always joke about spidey in class and no one gets what you’re saying but he does and freaks out
    • “that’s a sticky situation”
    • “y/n” 
    • “don’t worry i found that on the web
    • y/n
    • “do you think spiders are men
    • “oh my gOD”
  • he doesn’t care at all if you take one of his sweaters or all of his sweaters he just gives zero fucks you could take them all and he’d love you for it 
    • “here take this one too”
    • “peter i have too many and it’s almost april”
    • “but you’d look so cute in this one” then he pouts and you’re a goner
  • peter writes you tiny notes in class that are his weird thoughts and ramblings and feelings but you save them all and put them in a memory box
    • there was one and it said here’s a concept : you have a bright future ahead of you, and i’m there. i like that concept.
      • you did, too
  • watches every cheesy romantic movie on netflix with you not just because you want to, but because he does too and he can’t help it that’s just how it is 
  • matching ugly christmas sweaters at christmastime because peter parker is an annoying headass and refuseS to go anywhere without one during the holiday season and if he’s wearing one he’s making you match
  • super spidey strength allows him to give you piggy back rides all throughout manhattan when you guys head to the city 
  • makes you kiss him in the rain even though there’s water up your nose and your hair is matted to your forehead 
  • one text makes your heart go !!!!!!!!! because that’s your boy!!!!! and you love him so much because he’s a lovely beautiful person that deserves the world !!!!!
  • making out is rarely super fast n intense like it’s still intense but you go slowly and you can make out for hours without a c are in the world
  • makes sure his hair looks nice before he goes out on a date with you
  • tells you that he loves you and that he’s happy you’re a part of his life as often as he can manage 
  • just wants to love you unconditionally forever
  • texts you at 11:11 every night and says something cheesy as fuck like “you’re my wish tonight babe” or “11:11 is always for you” and sometimes he’ll @ you on snap and you’re like wow we’re That couple 
  • but honestly???? you don’t care that much he’s so cute
  • knows your order at every restaurant/fast food chain/coffee shop imaginable and if he happens to pass by a mcdonalds or dunkin donuts while he’s swinging around queens he tries to pick something up for you 
  • you love his eyes you could probably get lost in them they’re gorgeous
    • “peter your eyes are so lovely i hate you”
    • “aw i love you more babe you say the sweetest things to me”
  • you think his smile is the prettiest thing ever
  • and when his face scrunches up when he’s super happY???? amazing you kiss him immediately everywhere and he gets so flustered and he giggles and tries to squirm away but not really
  • cause he loves it
  • and he loveS YOU
  • i love my boyfriend goodnight to all

Keep reading

idk if i’ve complained about this before or not, but i really wish the blood moon was like… more of a threat? 

rather than just respawning enemies for you with an annoying, endlessly recurring cutscene and then disappearing, i wish it was something more along the lines of an all night thing, y’know?

like the eerie atmosphere hangs around until morning, enemies are more abundant and more aggressive, and even your monster masks can’t help you

maybe even it interferes with your sheikah slate and you can’t even teleport so if you wanna avoid it you better fucking book it to the nearest town or stable and pray you make it before nightfall 

see that’s the problem with people like us. we care too much. about everything, even the smallest things. “ill be back by 10” it’s 10:01 and you’re panicking.
you become the person who nags, the one who is constantly telling others “don’t do this and don’t do that”.
you try not to care, you try so goddamn hard but it’s the way you are. it’s the person you’ve become. you can’t just stop caring one day. i wish it were that easy, to just stop caring.
i care about the people around me more than i care about myself. i harm my body in ways more than one, but the thought of others being put in harms way scares the living shit out of me.
my darkest and worst fear, is seeing the people around me suffer. i can’t see it. i can’t see how people willingly are okay with harming themselves. how people don’t see how much i care.
the day i stop, i promise you, you’ll realise. i won’t be there to nag you and make you feel guilty for doing something wrong. i won’t be there to tell you not to do stuff you shouldn’t be doing. i’m not going to be there for you, because there’s only so much i’m gonna try and do for you.
one day i’m going to wake up, and that’s going to be it for me, and that’s the day you will realise you’ve lost someone who would have died for you.
My IT Review (May Contain Mild Spoilers)

Trying to record a video was just not going my way, so here is a post about my thoughts on IT. After reading some other people’s reviews, some of my opinions will definitely be in the minority, but it also looks as though many people had some of the same complaints as I did. But overall, IT WAS AMAZING.

PROS

  • It’s scarier than the trailer 
  • For some, IT looked too silly in the trailer and promotional stills, and I promise he makes up for it in the movie
  • The kids are totally motherfucking bad ass, especially during the rock fight scene and the end scene. 
  • Richie, Beverly, and Eddie stole the show. Richie is hilariously funny and had me laughing out loud. Richie and Eddie together are even better. And Beverly punches you right in the goddam gut with her emotional performance. 
  • Finn gets a mother fucking bat scene. 
  • The acting is amazing overall; these kids are so impressive. 
  • Although some things were changed, overall, it did a good job staying true to the book. 
  • No orgy scene for those of you worried, lol.

CONS

  • Although the Derry history was touched upon, I wish there was even more. 
  • The kid’s backstories and upbringings could have been fleshed out a lot more, and because they were limited, it was hard to emotionally connect with the characters, other than Beverly. 
  • Mike’s roll seems very random and awkward. For some reason they changed his entire backstory and his addition to the loser’s was just…out of place. I was highly disappointed in this; he deserved way more screen time as I find him sort of like a default leader if anything happened to Bill. Mike deserved better.
  • Henry and his gang are also just…an awkward addition. I felt there roles were simply added just because they were characters in the book, when in reality, their roles play a much larger part in the book and original TV adaptation. The entire end scene in the sewer is changed from the book and movie; I won’t say how but it for me, it was highly disappointing and they took away important things. Henry’s gang was painted as mere bullies when in the book Henry is much more sinister than that. 
  • Although Eddie’s leper was added, some IT incarnations are not. 
  • SPOILER: There is no “this is battery acid you slime!”, nor is there a dam building scene, nor is there Beverly kicking the boys’ asses with the slingshot. They don’t even bring the silver dollar slug down into the sewer in the end. 
  • I feel the emotional bond between the kids could have been stronger. I also feel like in the book/TV movie, we got the idea that these kids were chosen by fate to defeat IT. I feel like in this version, the burden sort of just…fell in their laps.
  • CGI. I really hated it, but I have a theory, haha. Some things looked too silly and fake to me, but if we are seeing it through a child’s perspective – a child who watches cartoons or reads comics – then what they see will somewhat reflect that. I don’t know if that theory is accurate, but it helps me feel better with all the CGI used on Pennywise. 
  • Literal floating dead kids. *rolls eyes*

Things You Wouldn’t Notice Unless You Read The Book/Saw TV Movie

  • The turtle. I am not 100% sure, but I’m pretty sure the lego set that Bill is holding from Georgie’s room is a turtle. If anyone else can confirm this or correct this, let me know. Also, a turtle is mentioned during the swim scene. 
  • You may see certain IT manifestations during the end scene; they are quick though, so if you blink, you will miss them. (Hint: Mummy)
  • The dead lights are shown, but not explained. 

Awesome Things I Fucking Loved

  • All the 80s throwbacks, especially Nightmare on Elm Street 5, Street Fighter, and New Kids on the Block!!!
  • Finn’s mother fucking bat scene!
  • The end scene is phenomenal and although I was in the theater by myself, I legit threw my arms up in the damn air and cheered like a nerd. 

Gore

  • For those wondering about gore, it’s not that bad. There are disturbing scenes, jump scares, and blood, but nothing that wouldn’t be shown on network cable like Walking Dead or American Horror Story.
  • EDIT: I said no animals die, but there is one on-screen death of a farm animal. Sorry!!!

And lastly,

  • SOME GUY SAW “CHAPTER ONE” AT THE END AND WAS LIKE, “WHATTTT, CHAPTER ONE????, AW HELL NO” LIKE HE DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A SECOND. LIKE IF YOU DON’T KNOW THERE IS A SECOND, YOU DON’T DESERVE IT. (Ok, just kidding, but really dude….omfg.)
Mun Questions!

This is a mix bag of questions about your characters, personal writing styles, likes/dislikes, and more! 

  1. Who is your favorite character in __?
  2. Who is your favorite OC?
  3. Do you have a favorite AU?
  4. Name one thing you don’t like about your character.
  5. Name one thing you love about your character.
  6. If you have multiple characters/OCs, who is your personal favorite?
  7. Who is your favorite muse to RP with that is not yours?
  8. Any other blogs? 
  9. If there is one thing you can change regarding your character’s world, what would it be?
  10. Draw your muse?
  11. What one character you’ve thought of RPing but haven’t yet?
  12. What made you start RPing your muse?
  13. How long have you been RPing for? 
  14. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand? 
  15. When is the best time for you to sit down and write replies?
  16. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?
  17. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?
  18. Is there one thing you will not write at all, either due to personal choice or other reasons (you do not need to specify why if you do not want to)?
  19. Do you prefer writing paragraphs or simple sentences?
  20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed? 
  21. Are you prone to go a few days without responding due to life/personal reasons/lack of inspiration?
  22. Have you ever deleted/abandoned a muse before? 
  23. What fandom do you like but have never interacted with?
  24. Do you like crossovers? Do you have any that you like more? Less?
  25. Do you like OCs? 
  26. Name one thing about your character(s) that no one knows about.
  27. Name one thing about yourself that no one knows about.
  28. If the site closes down for good at this minute, could/would you go to another platform to RP on? 
  29. If your character(s) were paint colors, what would their paint color names be? (Go silly if you want!) 
  30. Free Question! Ask any question you wish with this number!
Growing Pains

Originally posted by harrysimpact

Hello, everyone! I’ve decided to start writing again. This will be a three-part series as of right now so I hope you enjoy the first installment. 

A special shout out to @hcrrystvles for editing this, I love you bb.

dad!harry + teacher!harry

warnings: mentions death, nostalgia, fluff. loads of fluff.

word count: 3,648

summary: the one where Harry’s a school teacher who finds himself teaching the daughter of his first love


Every day that students walked into room 202, they were instantly greeted by the sweet smell of cinnamon buns and vanilla (an air freshener Harry always kept plugged into the wall when he first started working there because it smelt too much like wood). Fairy lights hung above the perimeter of the room, pictures students have drawn covered the wall behind the metallic desk which was covered in magnets. The whole classroom just felt warm. Stepping into Mr. Styles’ year 3 classroom felt like a hug from a friend you haven’t seen in years. It was a safe space for both little ones and teachers alike, no one ever left the room without a bright smile on their face. That was Harry’s specialty.

Harry had taken his job as a teacher very seriously as he took it upon himself to teach the younger generations the most valuable lessons. Not multiplication and cursive writing like the other teachers would say, but things like positivity, acceptance, and kindness. Harry took pride in knowing that when each and every one of his students left his classroom at the end of the year, they carried his teachings with them for the rest of their lives.

Tonight was back to school night and Harry felt himself getting a little nervous as he looked at the time. Parents could be brutal and all he wanted was to be on their good side. He had a feeling this year was about to be little easier though. This year the parents of his students were most likely his age and it brought a strange sense of comfort to him. He could tell because the kids were a lot more open minded and though he wouldn’t admit it, he had a few favorites. Like Harper. The little girl made him feel nostalgic in the strangest way. Maybe it was because she was quite witty for a 7-year-old or that she had an interest in joining his after school choir, but it was something else about her that he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

Keep reading

Do you want to play with us?

Originally posted by litourgiya

Pairing: IvarxReaderxHvitserk
Rating: Explicit
Words: 8587
Tagging: @inthenameofodin @tiyetiye @rockyrascal

Warning: Smut, dom/sub dynamic, cursing, hair pulling, rough sex, spitting, spanking, orgasm denial/delayed. (I suck at warning tags so if you think one needs to be added, please tell me.)

Notes: My first threesome and let me tell you it was hard to write! First time writing Hvitserk too, I hope it went well. Sorry for the length, I don’t know how this monstrosity ended with so many words but I hope it’s worth it. Thank you for your advice concerning it. Ivar and Hvitserk love each other in this (take notes Hirst). Again, sorry for any mistakes! Enjoy, sisters! 


King Ivar and his great army advanced through England quite easily, pillaging and killing every single person that stood on their way. Today was a great day for the King; he had won the ultimate battle that raged for almost four months. He had slaughtered the entire royal family without a second thought and had taken the praised crown of York. Soon, the news would spread, giving Ivar the fame he craved, the fame he deserved. For he was the most brutal yet the most worthy man you ever met. The kind of man you dreamt of but never could admit it out loud. It didn’t help that he was unfairly attractive. So attractive that even Balder, the most beautiful god in Asgard, would be jealous. 

You tried to fight the attraction you had for him but you couldn’t fight the feelings you felt in his presence. You couldn’t deny the wetness between your legs every time he roared one of his clever speeches, perched proudly upon his throne or his chariot. You couldn’t deny the dreams you had. Him above you, taking whatever he wanted from your willing and helpless body.

Keep reading

1. bts// the way he looks at you

JIN

 he looks at you with adoration. he finds you extremely cute and unique. everything you do makes him want to wrap you in a giant hug. he thinks you’re perfect for him. he adores your laugh, your smile and your sense of humour. he wonders to himself how and why he didn’t meet you sooner.

Originally posted by fawnave

SUGA

 he looks at you with soft, sad eyes, regretting everything he said. he stared at the tears streaming down your face. he hated seeing you sad, especially when he was the one who caused it. he wanted to see you happy, he wanted to see your smile that always made him weak at the knees.

Originally posted by buisually-appealing

RAP MON

he looks at you with disbelief and his mouth agape. he watched you walk out of the bathroom, already for your guys date night. he couldn’t believe how beautiful you looked. to him, you had a face straight out of a magazine. he thought to himself how could someone like him get someone like you? he noticed the blush creep along your cheeks as you noticed him staring, which made you look even more beautiful.

Originally posted by trash-for-bangtan

JHOPE

 he looked at you with pure happiness. in his whole life he has never met someone that makes him as happy as you do. just the sound of your voice makes him break out into a huge grin. the only thing that makes his grin disappear is watching you kiss your boyfriend. he wished he was your boyfriend, he wanted to kiss you, hug you, tell you that you were his everything. maybe someday, but not today.

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

JIMIN

 he looks at you in shock. he couldn’t understand the negative words you were saying about yourself. “i’m too fat.” “my acne is so bad” “i’m so ugly.” “why are you even with me?” he thought you were absolutely beautiful. no matter how many pounds you gained. or how many blemishes appeared. he would stay by your side and love you until your last breath.

Originally posted by jimiyoong

V

 he looks at you with love. his heart beating so loud he’s sure you can hear from down the aisle. your white wedding dress bringing out the colour of your eyes that he has became so familiar with. the bouquet of flowers matching the flower that is pinned in your hair that he loves to drag his fingers through. as you step up to stand in front of him, he can’t help but think how prepared he is to start a new chapter with you, the love of his life.

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

JUNGKOOK

 he looks at you in fear; in fear of himself. he looks at the newly red blotch that has made its way onto your face from his hand. he looks into your eyes, full of fear and tears. your body shaking from the contact. never in a million years would you think jungkook would hit you. especially from a stupid little fight. you grab your things and storm out of the dorm, not able to look at jungkook. he watched you leave and looks down at his hand that hit you, thinking to himself that he has lost everything he has ever wanted.

Originally posted by sugutie

snow daze ☼ peter parker

summary : nothing beats winter in new york, except maybe walking to school in the snow with a certain peter parker. 

wc : 2.4k

author’s note : tags are under the read more and ik it’s august but it’s winter in my soul !

   There were people who dreamt of a Christmas in New York. People who sat by their windowsills, gazing past the confining glass screens and wishing to one day set their eyes upon a town blanketed by a mass of snow. In the city, it was a sight to behold and cherish. You go to Rockefeller Center and look up at the tree, lit with hundreds of lights and looking like a dream, and your Christmas in New York is complete. It was a thing of fiction for many people, but for you, it was the harsh reality. 

  You were not yearning for a white Christmas the way some people would. You were, however, hoping that your parents would surprise you with an impromptu vacation to the Bahamas for a month while the snow in your beloved city melted to more of a slush, whisking you away to a paradise where you were not forced to trek through the piles of snow surrounding your apartment building as you attempted to make your way to the nearest A train. 

    It was a miserable day, to be quite honest. You had forgotten your hat in your apartment after you had scrambled to get out of bed, you had underestimated the temperature outside and so you were wearing way lighter a jacket than you should be, and your jeans were soaking wet due to the way you had sunk knee deep in a pit of snow. This was absolute bullshit and you were ready to march back home, prepared to draw up an essay as to why you shouldn’t attend class that day until Peter Parker practically ambushed you in the middle of the sidewalk. 

  He had ran nearly a block to try to catch up with you. Peter had been waiting to take the train with you and walk with you to school for nearly two weeks now, but he had never gotten out of his apartment early enough, and if it wasn’t for his profoundly excellent eyesight, he probably would’ve spent another day walking alone. The sight of a boy dashing down the street with his jacket blown open by the wind and a ridiculous hat pulled down over his ears was enough to make anyone laugh, but you had been too preoccupied with fuming to hear his thunderous footsteps behind you. He nearly knocked you over when he finally caught up to you, his cheeks rosy from the bitter wind nipping at his face as he ran and his breath coming out in harsh pants. 

   “Oh my God!” You whipped around, taking a step backward and holding a hand to your heart. He did a little shrugging motion, somewhere between an apology and pleased with himself for managing to surprise you for once. 

   Grinning, he fell into step beside you, though not easily due to the random, deep pockets of snow that covered the path ahead. He bumped his shoulder against yours. “Not God, just me, though it’s been said that we’re practically the same thing.” You laughed, bumping his shoulder back. 

   “No one has ever said that, and no one ever will,” you replied, pulling your sweater down over your hands for more warmth. Peter examined your attire with a shake of his head.

   “You realize it’s not fall anymore, right?” He quirked an eyebrow, and you rolled your eyes in response, gesturing a hand at the mountain of dirt stained snow piled in front of an apartment building. 

   “Nah, didn’t notice at all.” You huffed. You crossed your arms, trying to preserve as much warmth as possible. “Especially ‘cause of the snow that’s starting to come down now, really throws a girl off.” As you said that, the puffy white flakes fluttered down and landed in your hair. Peter, ignoring the blatant sarcasm, pulled his hat off his head. “You didn’t gel it down today?” 

   “Nope,” he said, catching your wrist in your hand and forcing you to stop. “Didn’t feel like it.” Also, you said you like my hair when it’s curly, I heard you talking to Michelle. So here I am. Do you realize this yet? He stretched the hat out before plopping it down on your head, tugging it so that it covered your eyes. You lifted it back up, staring up at him questioningly. “You’re gonna catch a cold. The snowflake hair look is cool, but your health is better.” He said it because he knew it sounded ridiculous, and because he was sure you’d affectionately punch his arm or something and he liked the fuzzy feeling in his stomach that he got whenever you touched him. 

   “That’s lame,” you said, just the way he had expected. You smiled slightly at his ruffled mop of hair, reaching up to tousle it in a way that he supposed he should have found irritating, as it made his hair even messier than it had been before. “Nice hair.” 

   You turned to continue walking, pulling him along with you as he smiled smugly to himself. He tugged on a lock of his hair, the strand that had settled in the middle of his forehead defiantly. “Oh, you like it? Didn’t know that. Thanks.” You headed down the steps of the 71st avenue station, a little past Queens boulevard. You only needed to ride it one stop, but it was better to waste the $2.75 on your metro card than continue trudging through the snow with a murderous expression adorning your face. You boarded the F train together, Peter managing to find the only open seat and sliding into it quickly, laughing at the face you made at him. You took a step forward to grab onto the pole in the middle of the train but it lurched forward suddenly, and you surely would have been thrown to the other side of the car if Peter hadn’t grabbed your arm and pulled you backwards into his lap before you could embarrass yourself even further. The trains were tricky, and he knew you had more of a knack for falling down than anyone else. 

   You exhaled, turning your head to stare at Peter. He was staring back with a sheepish expression, the tip of his nose pink. “Thanks Peter,” you smile, patting his shoulder. His arms were still secured around your waist when he shrugged, appearing utterly nonchalant even though internally, he was sort of screaming. Sort of. “When did your reflexives become so good? You struggle to do one push up in gym, no offense.” Oh, you know, just when I become Spider-Man. I save Queens daily. I saved you once but you didn’t know. Should I tell you? Probably not. One day. 

  “Oh, um, you know, I need good reflexives so I can save your clumsy self from tripping down the stairs at school every day,” he lied not so smoothly, giving your knee a little tap. You nodded thoughtfully. Seemed simple enough. “You can keep sitting here, if you want.” 

   Mistaking this for sarcasm, you went to move. “Oh shit. Sorry Peter, I’ll get up.” Surprising himself with his own confidence, he pulled you back. “What are you doing?” 

   Peter didn’t know what to say to this. Just savoring the feeling of you on my lap? Too creepy, and too exposing. You’d sound like one of those cat callers on the street, the ones she screams back at with vicious insults and creative threats. Get it together, Peter. “You needed a seat and, uh, you know, this one is… available. I wasn’t being sarcastic or anything.” He winced as soon as the words came out of his mouth, moving his head to play it off like he just wanted to look out the window. There was nothing to even look at it. It was dark. 

   “I’ll take it then,” you said softly, and, for his sake, you pretended not to notice how embarrassed he was that he had said what he did in the first place. He was endlessly thankful for that, because the fact that you were sitting on his lap right now was enough to make him sweat through his winter clothes even though it was below 25 degrees fahrenheit. If you had started teasing about him saying that his lap was an openly available seat, he most likely would have imploded. Before either of you could say anything else to shatter the silence that had settled there, the train screeched to stop again, and Peter’s grip on your waist tightened. You glanced down at his hand, sitting there on your waist, a fist bunched in the sweatshirt you had thrown on in this morning not knowing how fucking deathly it was going to be outside. You stood up when the doors opened, your hand absentmindedly wrapping around Peter’s wrist as you pulled him up toward the doors with you. 

    “If you’re still cold I can give you my jacket, I don’t mind,” Peter said, glancing down at your hand, locked on his wrist. You bumped into someone as you turned around, giving them a quick apology. 

   “Peter, stop giving me your clothes-” Before you could finish your sentence, a guy cut in between you two, your hand slipping from Peter’s as he abruptly interrupted the conversation. 

   “Hey, you and your boyfriend are cute, but the PDA is too much. Lay off for a second, yeah? It’s uncomfortable.” The guy clapped Peter on the shoulder, then swiftly exited the car, leaving you and Peter to stumble out, flushed with embarrassment because while the guy was leaving, you had called out, “He’s- he’s not my boyfriend, actually!” 

   Okay, am I that bad? Does she seriously think I’m that, like, repulsive? Oh, God, she hates me and I made her sit on my lap. I’m awful. And creepy. Ew. I’m sweating too much. Is that why she doesn’t like me? Because of the sweat? I need new cologne. 

   You two trekked the rest of the way to school in awkward silence, as opposed to the tranquil one that you had felt on the train. You had Peter’s hat still tucked over your head and to be honest, you were in desperate need of his jacket at the moment. But you knew the words you had said on the train, shouted at the retreating man’s coat with such ferocity, had wounded Peter a little. You hadn’t meant for it to come out so harsh, like you could never be his girlfriend or that you hadn’t ever thought about it, not even once. You had thought about it on multiple occasions, in multiple scenarios. It just wasn’t the reality. 

    You were around the corner from your school when Peter turned you around and placed his jacket over your shoulders. “You’re gonna need it,” he said, stepping away from you. 

    “Huh? Why?” In replacement of a proper answer, a verbal one that is, Peter gave you his signature saccharine smile and threw a snowball at you, laughing when you shrieked, your hands flying to zip up his jacket. He was nearly doubled over with laughter when a snowball landed in his hair, the white flakes sticking to his curls and dampening his hair. 

    “Hey!” He exclaimed, wiping the snow off his hair frantically. “I have a look I need to uphold!” He launched another snowball at you, hitting the side of your leg. 

   You threw one back and hit his shoulder, laughing hysterically. “Look? What look, Peter? The disheveled curly mess look?” 

     He stopped, a half made snowball in his hands that was already beginning to melt. “You like it, don’t even lie.”   

   Instead of replying, the way he had done earlier, you chucked another snowball at him, and it was soon a full blown war of flying snow and screams of laughter, messy hair and flushed cheeks and the nothing but the brightest of grins. “We’re gonna be so late, oh my god,” you panted, your hands practically frozen from the amount of snow you had picked up. 

   “We’re geniuses, we’ll deal with it somehow,” he answered, watching your hands. He moved closer, taking his sweater sleeves and pulling them over his hands, then grabbing your hands in his and slipping them underneath his sleeve. “Just ‘cause you’re cold.” When you smiled up at him thankfully, your cold hands squeezing his, Peter knew that if he didn’t kiss you right then and there, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. You take a step closer to him, because you knew that he’s thinking the same thing you are and you need this, too, but you slip on a sheet of ice. This time, he doesn’t catch you, he falls right down alongside you. You land on your back with a groan and he lands on top of you, hoisting himself up so that he’s able to hover over you. 

     “Y/N, I have to ask,” he sighed, biting his lip, then continued, “why’d you sound so offended when that guy said that we were dating? Would I be that bad to date?” There was a slight pout to his lips as he looked down at you, his hands beginning to shake slightly from the pressure of holding himself up. “’Cause I kind of have a confession to make, depending on your answer.” 

   You place your arms around his waist and he falls down on top of you, his eyebrows raised in surprise, but he wasn’t one to complain about the position he was in. “You’d make a wonderful boyfriend, Peter.” 

   “Your boyfriend, maybe?” He tilted his chin, lips inches away from yours. 

   “I could get behind that.” Soft lips met yours, but Peter was smiling so hard he could barely do it right. Your hands moved to his face, tracing over his dimple. It was perfectly impossible to resist smiling back into the kiss. The snow was still falling, falling, falling, but neither of you deigned to move. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes, face still bright. 

   You continued your walk to Midtown holding hands this time, well aware that you were twenty minutes late but too blissed out on the kiss to even pretend to care. “I like being called darling.” 

   “What?” 

   “If we’re gonna do the whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing, you need to call me darling.” You paused. “It’s my kink.” 

   He knew you were joking around with him, but he still shook his head, playfully rolling his eyes as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. You said weird stuff like that all the time, it was no different now than it had been yesterday, except this time he was your boyfriend, and if it was going to make you happy, he’d call you darling for the rest of your life. “I could get behind that.” 

tags : @spideyyss @parkerroos @toms-spidey @captainswriting @ladysnowren @tomhollandisthicc @underoosie @focused-on-holland @marvelsdaughter @amatory-horan @iusethistoreadfanfics @bihaza @theclonewarss @skymoonandstardust

PUT A NUMBER IN MY ASK

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
4. Are you easy to get along with?
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
15. What good thing happened this summer?
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
19. Do you like bubble baths?
20. Do you like your neighbors?
21. What are you bad habits?
22. Where would you like to travel?
23. Do you have trust issues?
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
26. What do you do when you wake up?
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
30. Do you ever want to get married?
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
40. What do you want to do after high school?
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
43. Do you smile at strangers?
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
46. What are you paranoid about?
47. Have you ever been high?
48. Have you ever been drunk?
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
53. Favourite makeup brand?
54. Favourite store?
55. Favourite blog?
56. Favourite colour?
57. Favourite food?
58. Last thing you ate?
59. First thing you ate this morning?
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
62. Been arrested? For what?
63. Ever been in love?
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
65. Are you hungry right now?
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
67. Facebook or Twitter?
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
69. Are you watching tv right now?
70. Names of your bestfriends?
71. Craving something? What?
72. What colour are your towels?
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
75. Favourite animal?
76. What colour is your underwear?
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
80. What colour pants?
81. Favourite tv show?
82. Favourite movie?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
87. First person you talked to today?
88. Last person you talked to today?
89. Name a person you hate?
90. Name a person you love?
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
92. In a fight with someone?
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
95. Last movie you watched?
96. Favourite actress?
97. Favourite actor?
98. Do you tan a lot?
99. Have any pets?
100. How are you feeling?
101. Do you type fast?
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
103. Can you spell well?
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
108. What should you be doing?
109. Is something irritating you right now?
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
111. Do you have trust issues?
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
113. What was your childhood nickname?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
115. Do you play the Wii?
116. Are you listening to music right now?
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
118. Do you like Chinese food?
119. Favourite book?
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
121. Are you mean?
122. Is cheating ever okay?
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
125. Do you believe in true love?
126. Are you currently bored?
127. What makes you happy?
128. Would you change your name?
129. What your zodiac sign?
130. Do you like subway?
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
134. Can you count to one million?
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
137. How tall are you?
138. Curly or Straight hair?
139. Brunette or Blonde?
140. Summer or Winter?
141. Night or Day?
142. Favourite month?
143. Are you a vegetarian?
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
145. Tea or Coffee?
146. Was today a good day?
147. Mars or Snickers?
148. What’s your favourite quote?
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

(I had to copy and paste these questions because when I tried reblogging it it added a space between each line and the post was too damn long)