i wish i was able to not have a heart attack every time i have to speak. i wish that my voice didn’t die down every time i did actually speak. i wish my mind didn’t tell me things that i know aren’t true. i wish i could accept that people are trying to help me but my mind is pushing them away. i wish my heart would stop pushing people away. i wish i could be truly open with myself and others. i wish that i could smile normally. i wish i could stop having a million thoughts racing in my head. i wish i wasn’t so scared of everything.
Well…since my anxiety has crept back without warning, I figured I just draw some of my thoughts down…Personally I understand that some people truly do not mind reassuring a friend who has self doubt on the brain, but I can’t help having it circle my mind as often as it does. Wish it would stop honestly. It just feels like empty space that I try too hard to fill.
Sometimes I wish my mind would just stop working for a moment so it could just rest in peace for a while. Other times I wish my body would just stop working so it could finally just rest in peace forever.