wish i were there sob

EPISODE 404: “A Lie Guarded”

  • ”Kabby are apart and communicating by radio” (”I wish I were with you” “stay safe” BRB SOBBING OVER THIS FOREVER)
  • ”Kane has a dad moment with Octavia” (”YOUR MURDERSPREE IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL YOUNG LADY”)
  • ”Clarke & Kane leadership duo” (true, they weren’t together, but we got a pretty clear picture that they’re tag-teaming this long-distance and she referenced him a lot so I’m allowing it)
  • “Kane misses Pike” (I HAD A LOT OF FEELS ABOUT HIM CALLING OCTAVIA OUT ON THIS)

I went back and forth about the Lincoln one and finally ended up vetoing it because when he brought up Lincoln to Octavia it was really more in the context of HER relationship with Lincoln, whereas “you didn’t have to kill Pike” seemed to be coming from a place of Kane’s own emotion about it, so even though they were both referenced, I only counted one.

Also, there was Kellamy worried face-touching and SO MANY FEELS but no actual hug, so unfortunately that one will also have to wait.


Play online, get the instructions or download and print a bingo card here!

http://kane-and-griffin.tumblr.com/post/156707536201/claires-fic-headcanons-season-4-kabby-bingo

me: drinking tea, enjoying life, wearing a cute outfit
me, not even ten seconds later: sobbing, dying, feeling worthless and suicidal, wishing i were never born, suffering, dying, and dying,,

my fingers have witnessed
how many times i’ve desperately
typed your number
calling being left with nothing besides
being told to leave voicemails you probably don’t listen to.
funny thing is, i don’t even know if
its still your number, but not being responded to,
may mean its still you on the other end
not sure what I want,
if i’m making excuses for texting you crazy in hope of my words arriving to you
or i’m hoping its not you & that you would still respond to me if it were you
“i wish you were here” i text at 2 am sobbing in the middle
of no where in my car with your favorite song playing
“you’re never here” i text at 4 am driving back home still crying
but this time, i’m so angry you’re not here
“come back please” i text at 6 am breaking down on my bathroom floor
in agony
“give me a chance to explain” i text at 6:05 am staring at my phone for minutes
that feel like hours waiting for three dots to appear
its 8 am and i’m still here, staring my red dry eyes out
at the screen my heart sinking inside
i fall asleep shortly waking up after hours realizing there were still no calls or text,
i’m promising myself to let you go while brushing my teeth seeing
the mirror being clean & fixed while i’m wrecked knowing damn well,
tonight i’m going to break my promise again & start a new one tomorrow on hope
of one day achieving it however,
the day just may not be today
—  Nimrah Khalid • true story of habits that break us
4

just chankai being dumb and in love

Aionios RP Event #01

#07. 

They had been swimming for a while now. It had taken all day, but now they were in the deep in wading face to face. Donggil knew he should feel relieved. Even if she was his ex, even if everything ended on bad terms, Donggil loved Eunha. He didn’t want her memory loss from her accident to mean the end of who she was. Yet, as he stared into the eyes of this woman, his heart sank. She was laughing, and then he knew.

Eunha had this obnoxious laughter. It was loud. Her mouth opened widely as if to take in all the air only to let it all out in this chaotic chuckle. In the times she tried to cover it with her hands, it still was enough to fill a large room. It was not pretty or delicate or anything like that. Still, Donggil loved that laugh. He was surrounded by artificial people. His friends, his family, and his world were so manufactured. Everything was polished and trained, but not her. Not Eunha, and not Eunha’s laughter. She was real. She was so real. She was.

The girl swimming in the water in front of him laughed, but he didn’t hear Eunha. He heard something like it. She was like a poor intimation that seemed to have years and years of training but couldn’t quite grasp it. Her laughter was different and everything fell into place in that moment.

Everything started to make sense. He had notices changes that seemed odd. Eunha turned her head to the right as she thought not the left. Eunha liked different things than this woman. Eunha was sharper, he would say. Her fierce attitude seemed absent now when everything that had caused it to form was still in place. There was birthmark on this woman’s hip than he’d never seen on Eunha, and he remembered every inch of his first love’s body. He remembered. He remembered everything, and everything was different. This was not it.

He looked this woman in the eyes. He peered into those eyes that were like Eunha’s with that face that was like Eunha’s. He knew, and he said it. “You’re not her,” Donggil expressed his tone so hushed that if it hadn’t have been for the fact only they were there, he knew she wouldn’t have hard. He couldn’t stop the tears that came from his eyes after that. Just like with Joo Hyesung, he knew Park Eunha was gone. She wasn’t coming back.