wish i learned this sooner

a PSA for artists

i’ve been thinking about this a lot. it’s something i wish i learned much sooner. it’s something i wish more people knew.

the idea that art has to be any one way is wrong.

your art does not have to be realistic, or look like anyone else’s, or keep up with popular trends.

the idea that you have to be able to draw realism to be a good artist? wrong.

you don’t. you already are a good artist.

everyone has their own style. it’s fine and normal to adopt style choices from other artists, but everyone has their own style, there is no changing that.

and why would you change it?

your style is what makes your art YOURS. it is unique. it is perfect in it’s own way, because it is perfect in it’s style.

draw something. now look at it. you just created something new. a visible projection of your thoughts. something nobody has seen yet, not in the way you present it. isn’t that amazing?

you are so powerful. you can create your own characters, worlds, stories- you can give and take lives and control all that happens in your own universe, through your own beautiful style. that’s incredible!

there is no such thing as bad art. those “bad art”/”bad oc” blogs mean nothing. they are bitter, worthless beings with the intention to hurt you. please don’t fall into their trap.

“okay, so i don’t have to draw realistically, now what?”

you practice!

get to know your style. familiarize yourself with the shapes and lines. just keep drawing the way you do, maybe making small improvements every now and then. but remember, improvements are just what you think looks better.

nobody can tell you how to make art. nobody can tell you your art is bad, because it isn’t. it’s simply different, and that’s the way it should be.

keep going, okay? it’s amazing to watch people follow their passions, and it crushes me to see them beat down for superficial things.

(note: this does not mean you can be offensive with your art! try not to do that)

Everything is Blue [Draco Malfoy – Golden Trio]

[Requested] With Lord Voldemort’s defeat comes the sudden detestation of Slytherins, and Draco Malfoy is the biggest target of them all. However, Y/N L/N holds no ill feelings towards him, and he comes to appreciate her kindness.
♥ A/N ♥
This… is going to get hectic and angsty really quick. Have a lovely day, anon, and I hope you enjoyed it! As a side note, I’m starting to have my own explanation of the prompt as I find it redundant to continually copy and paste requests into said section. Love you, my darlings!
Swearing, Angst, Eventual Romance

Originally posted by arianavevo

Y/N KNEW, THAT IF THIS WERE MEDIEVAL TIMES, and Draco became a target for prosecution and shame, then there would be tomatoes and rubbish being thrown at him from all directions. And that was a sad thought, as half the time the prosecuted became hermits just to avoid the humiliation.

Y/N could sympathize with Draco Malfoy. He didn’t deserve the jeers and taunts when he had already realized his own mistakes, had already overcome his need to please his father. His friends had deserted him after the final battle—Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle. As the Malfoy name was spat on and shat on, again and again, the Slytherin House began to shy away from him, not wanting to be associated with someone that had a target painted on his back. While the Slytherins were still detested, it was to a lesser extent than it was for Draco Malfoy.

It made Y/N wonder what on Earth gave him a reason to come back. Why hadn’t he merely went on without completing his seventh year? Was it his parents? Had they forced his attendance? Y/N didn’t know why, but Draco Malfoy was slowly consuming her thoughts. She’d known him since she was but a child, and she’d watched as he made mistakes all due to his upbringing. Things would have been different, she knew, if Lucius and Narcissa hadn’t put so much emphasis on teaching him the ways of a prestigious Pureblood family. And now, he was paying the price for something that was his family’s fault, and Y/N couldn’t help but wish for him a better life.


On October 31st, there was a feast to be held in the Great Hall to celebrate Halloween. While Y/N would love to have a couple pieces of kidney steak and a bit of pumpkin juice, as that was a standard protocol of Halloween feasting and a must for Y/N’s tummy, but today was a day she needed to have for homework. After all, she still hadn’t quite finished that research pamphlet on wolfsbane potion.

She was lounging in the corridor leading into the dungeons, knees propped beneath her and her hand shaking as she went scrawling across the parchment. Occasionally she would tap her quill against the parchment, just to get herself into the feel of contemplation on werewolf trivia. She wasn’t really paying attention to much else, as she was thinking about a distant cousin of hers that had none of the wild tendencies usually seen of a werewolf—and she wondered whether or not he bothered with a wolfsbane potion. The bloke was rather sophisticated for someone that turned into a raging beast every full moon, so it wouldn’t have surprised her.

“Leave me the bloody hell alone, Malfoy!” came a voice, and Y/N slowly raised her head to see Blaise Zabini tromping down the hall with a puppy-like Draco following behind. Y/N’s eyebrows rose with curiosity at the hurt look that flickered across Draco’s face like flames in the dark.

“But Blaise—you’re the only one I have left,” Draco said, his voice hardly even over a whisper. “I’ve—I’ve lost everyone else: Pansy, Goyle, Ben, Arthur—”

Blaise whirled around, his steeled expression emitting steam, ashes, and flames. “Well, count me, too, Malfoy,” he said coldly. As he muttered, “Pureblood,” and pushed open the door leading to the Slytherin common-room, he spared Draco one last sneer. “Bloody Death-Eater.”

Draco was heartbroken, and it looked like his muscles were strained—like he wished to cry, but the part of him still stuck in a mindset of Pureblood traditions denied him that ability. Y/N hated seeing his soft, handsome features so crestfallen.

Y/N quickly turned her attention back to the parchment in her hands when Draco turned from the common-room entrance. A breath of disappointment left him, and a pang in Y/N’s heart gave her the temptation to go over and hug him.

Rather than give him physical contact that would most probably result in a verbal sparring neither wanted, Y/N decided to talk to him. She forced herself to look up and to meet the bagged-eyed Slytherin’s gaze. He was already staring at her with a blank expression—one she couldn’t read even the slightest bit.

“Are you alright, Draco?” she asked him softly, knowing it a stupid decision. It was a spur-of-the-moment—dumb, ignorant words that came out from her mouth without her honest consent. She gave a small smile to emphasize that she wasn’t showing him pity, knowing him to be too stubborn to accept anything of the sort.

Draco blinked at her. She knew he was unaccustomed to any sort of kindness. Ever since the war, people had viewed him as an insignificant waste of breath—someone that looked and felt like scum, like rubbish between the toes. And it hurt Y/N to see a person—a human-being—suffer through such hardship that he’d come to believe himself as waste.

If this were earlier in their years at Hogwarts, Y/N knew he would have sneered at her for thinking she could ask for knowledge on his well-being. But this Draco was broken, and broken people didn’t have the energy to make others feel the way they themselves felt.

“I’m fine,” he said softly. “Sorry… sorry you had to see that.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, looking embarrassed.

Y/N shrugged at him. “Don’t let it get you down,” she told him seriously. She knew the feeling very well, but she didn’t want to elaborate. So she merely bit her lip at him, unreadable emotions flickering down past her brow and cheeks. “Sometimes, people are cowards. That’s how you realize when someone doesn’t deserve you.”

She widened her eyes the tiniest bit with surprise when Draco suddenly walked up to her and slide down the wall. His proximity gave her chills, ones she couldn’t understand no matter how hard she tried. She turned her head to meet his gaze.

“I’ve.. I’ve made mistakes in my life,” Draco said. His lips were turned downward into an obvious scowl as he relived the memories of his immaturity and sheer ignorance. “I’ve done things—horrible things—that have turned the world against me. I-I can’t blame them, but now, people who understand what I’m going through… the people suffering the same damn things…” He swallowed hard. “They want nothing to do with me.” There was a silent addition that both knew was the greatest point of information of all. And that’s what hurts the most.

Hesitantly, Y/N lifted a hand and placed it on Draco’s shoulder. The instant tension nearly made her jerk back and stammer out an apology, but she could feel his muscles rippling with a sudden break for ease. It made her slowly close down, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’ve lost friends as well, Draco,” she whispered. “All because of dumb mistakes… ones I could have easily avoided if I’d just owned up to myself. Just because you think you’re alone doesn’t mean you truly are. I wish I’d learned that sooner, but I… I’m here for you, Draco.”

Draco looked like he wanted to flinch, or cry, or run away. Maybe he wished to do all three. His eyes were watering just the slightest bit, and he was on the verge of losing himself completely. Y/N was well-acquainted with that look. She could read the boy like the back of her hand, and she didn’t know whether to be frightened by her keen eye or curious of it. Sometimes she felt both, but other times… it was a freight-train of fear that swarmed her veins like a tsunami.

Instead of breaking down, Draco did something that shocked Y/N to the point of losing concentration on the steeling of her expression. He had reached over and grappled Y/N into a hug, his hands digging into her back as though he were afraid to let go. He was shaking, silent sobs wracking their way down his back. The way he clutched to her made her think of an abandoned child—the way they latched onto the first adult they seen, crying from the trauma of losing who they loved.

It was something that felt all too real, and no one could deny the warmth that flooded her heart at feeling needed.


Several weeks passed, and though it was strange for all of Hogwarts to see someone willingly walking and talking with Draco Malfoy, no one dared approach the two with inquisition on whether or not they were planning something malicious. In particular, the Slytherins were just relieved to finally have Draco off their backs. The Gryffindors were suspicious, thinking it to be a sign of something malevolent—but the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws shed themselves of their curious looks after the first week, having no interest in either of the two.

Draco found a solace in Y/N’s presence, and Y/N discovered that Draco was more than someone she sympathized with. He was someone she could talk to with no fear of judgment and reproach. For him, it was the same; Y/N was a kind, generous soul, and she was quick to always comfort him when he stressed over his family problems and copious amounts of homework.

One day, they were in the library studying over common potions terminology when Y/N felt the heat of someone’s stare. She was curious not to glance upward at the strange feeling, and a soft smile lit her mouth when she saw it was merely Draco. A quick warmth spread throughout her stomach at the sight of him. “Hi,” Y/N said teasingly, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He swallowed, looking at her with an expression of utter nervousness. A knot of feelings erupted inside of Y/N. “Can I try something?” he asked her, much quicker than she’d imagined for him in a conversation. Y/N nodded, a bit perplexed by his behavior.

“Of course,” she reiterated aloud, biting her lip—a bad habit of hers. A look plastered itself onto Draco’s face.

He leaned forward. He had his eyes open, but his cheeks were sucked in. Bated breath, nervous eyes, clenched muscles—all signs of anticipation, of anxiety. And slowly, Y/N began to lean in too, eager to know—

All she felt was shock when his lips met hers. A hand came to wrap around her hair, clenching it with utter ferocity—the lips growing intense and hungry as she began to kiss back, slowly loosening with the need to savor his lips. She closed her eyes, desperation snugly fitted into her pores like beads of hair—and she wanted to lose herself completely, never knowing true passion until Draco kissed her.

She leaned back a centimeter, breathlessly needing to ask him something. “What… what was that?” she asked him.

Draco blinked his eyes open, his jawline saturated in a sort of adoring tension that made her know she wasn’t the only one that felt need balling up inside of her. “I just… I needed to see.”

Y/N knew what he meant without having to hear his words. And she buried her head into his chest, feeling the exact same thing and not needing to have it said aloud for them to both feel their hearts become one.

tips from a mentally ill college student

an ongoing list of things i’m learning that i wish i’d known sooner. feel free to add on to the list or ask me to make edits! if some of this seems obvious, i apologize, but a lot of it never occurred to me or took two and a half years for me to start doing. 

  • environment: where you study matters. don’t do it where you sleep, if possible. i block out time to go to the library or coffee shop, but you can also try a park, empty classroom, study room, etc. 
  • pomodoro timer: as an ADHD student, using a pomodoro timer app has helped tremendously. other options include Forest and similar apps, but my brain tends to just go “okay, let the tree die then.” even this timer doesn’t always work for me, but it works often enough that i use it to study. 
  • cook on sunday: or whenever you have a free chunk of time. cooking takes a lot out of me so i usually do it twice a week, sunday and wednesday night. i’ll chop up a lemon, de-frost frozen chicken, rub it in spices and olive oil, and put parchment paper over it, then put that in the oven. + i make rice with chicken broth instead of water. together it’s a solid meal. simple recipes using as few ingredients as possible are a lifesaver for me. search “easy recipes,” “simple recipes,” and the like for tons of options. 
  • forgive yourself: it’s so hard for me to do and has taken time. you are going to have days where you simply can’t get anything done. it doesn’t mean you’re lazy. it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. even if you missed an assignment, you can still get a good grade in the class. furthermore, you NEED the recovery time. it is NOT time wasted. 
  • counseling: if you have on-campus counseling, take advantage of it. even if they aren’t your main therapist, or you don’t usually go to therapy, or you don’t get along with the first person you see. try going a few times and find someone to click with. having access to someone who can write a doctor’s note is vital. 
  • disability resources: if you need them, get in their program! do it! i don’t care if it makes you feel weird, if you don’t feel like you deserve it, etc. do it! do it! it’s one of the best things i did for myself on campus, and it’s the reason i can still go to school. 
  • tell professors early on: i have adhd, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder. there are going to be days when, even with counseling and medication, i will absolutely not be able to go to class or pay attention or what have you. if a professor knows i’m dealing with this stuff, they’re more likely to give me a break than they would otherwise. 
  • plants are the bomb. name them. look up care sheets for them. talk to the people at plant shops, if you have any in your area. take them for walks. read about them. watch tv with them. sing to them. plants have saved my life many times over and they don’t ask much in return. 
  • stockpile your happiness. i keep a list of things that bring positive emotions to me, and come back to it when my mood starts to swing down: things to do, video links, music, vines of cute animals, whatever. conversely, keeping a playlist of songs that help you get through pain can be exceptionally important when it’s three in the morning and no one is texting back. 
  • there’s more than the national suicide prevention hotline. they get a lot of calls and are most concerned with whether you’re in immediate danger, and aren’t the best people to call in every situation. i say this because people reblog suicide prevention hotlines all the time, but don’t consider what the general purpose of each one is for. it can feel really shitty to be brushed off by someone who doesn’t think you’re “in crisis enough” for their services, so makes sure to have options saved beforehand. local crisis hotlines, text crisis hotlines, & online messaging crisis centers are important to keep on hand. 
  • look for off-campus resources, too. see if there are any organizations in the area that could help you that aren’t tied to the school. again, it is good to have as many options for help as possible. 
  • sometimes a rubber band on the wrist is the best option. or throwing ice cubes in the tub, or wrapping yourself in a blanket because it’s the only thing keeping you together right now. if i’m having the urge to self-harm, snapping a rubber band against my wrist is a safer option for me, even if it’s not THE safest option. like, ideally i would draw on my arm with marker, but if i’m in a bad enough state that won’t be enough for me, you feel? the safe coping mechanism that you’ll actually use is FAR more helpful than the safest option you never will. 
  • online community. i frequent the #actuallybpd and #actuallyadhd tags on tumblr because these are people that understand what it’s like, and can help me vent my frustrations when i have no one to turn to. just remember not to over-engage in discourse if it’s bad for your mental state, like it is for me.
  • look up pictures of the diaphragm and how it works. i literally didn’t know what my diaphragm looked like, so breathing was even harder than it would’ve been otherwise. looking up animations of it helped me learn how to breathe slowly and deeply, which was not actually something i knew how to do. 
  • white noise is the only way i can focus on studying. really. 
  • asmr, binaural stuff, etc. if it helps you and it’s safe, there’s nothing wrong with it. i know the jury’s still out on whether it “actually works,” but even if it’s placebo, it helps me calm down quickly. 
  • remember why you’re here: to learn, apply that knowledge, meet people, and make the world a better place. or to make cash money, whatever. 
Don’t Say You Ever Loved Me - feysand fanfiction

Summary: AU in which Rhys never shows up to the cabin after Feyre finds out they are mates. Instead, she waits. And waits. And then has to figure out how to move on.

AO3 : no warnings except angst : based on this request


When I left Rhys, I hadn’t had time to develop a plan, to think about what I wanted, what I needed, how I really felt about him and what I had learned from the Suriel. Desperation had fueled me, and now I found myself isolated, in a cabin, in a place I wasn’t sure how to leave. Mor had delivered on my request to take me far away, and I hadn’t cared enough to ask her where she had left me. All I could do now was hope that she followed through on my request to keep my location from Rhys. At least, for the time being.

On the first day, I was angry. I wasn’t sure that I could call what Rhys had done a betrayal, but after everything that Tamlin had done, I tried to wrap my head around the idea that Rhys would hide information like this from me. That he could know, had known, for months, that we were mates, without saying a word. I felt like I had always had a choice with him, but I struggled to reconcile this with the fact that he kept vital information from me. What else might have he kept from me, in the name of protection?

I had never known that marriage or love or any of it would be a possibility, for me. My plans had been to live with my father, my sisters comfortably married and me with enough time to paint; a partner for myself had never crossed my mind. It was never something I wanted, unlike Elain, who dreamed of what her wedding dress would look like from the time she could walk. Nor was I like Nesta, who thought of making an advantageous match, before our change in social station had put an end to those dreams. Those plans were now back on track, since Tamlin had given them the resources to make it so. But me?

No, I had never wanted to tie myself to another for the rest of my life. And now the Cauldron was here telling me that it was fated, that I had no choice.

Keep reading

Just wanted to take a quick break from studying to share with everyone my absolute favorite way to memorize terms!! I decided to share because it took me until the beginning of my senior year of college to learn this trick and I wish I had learned it sooner! I’ve used it to memorize Italian translations, important facts in geography, and even more overwhelming things such as the name (both english and latin) and location of every muscle, bone, and tendon/ligament in the human body.  Feel free to message me with any questions! Happy studying!!!

🌵  Step 1. First I start off with index cards for definitions (in this case they were already made for me … thank you Kaplan GRE prep!!🙌🏼). 

🌵  Step 2. Then I use two of the index cards to make a “don’t know” and “know” card. 

🌵 Step 3. When first trying to learn a definition, I start with three cards, all of which go on the “don’t know” pile. As I memorize each one I put it in the “know” pile (I define memorize as being able to repeat the definition back… keep in mind for this example I’m learning the definitions of English words!)

🌵  Step 4. Once all three of the original cards are in the “know” pile, I pick up all three and test to see if I still can repeat back the definitions for each one.  Any card that is correct stays in the “know” pile while any card that is wrong is moved to the “don’t know” pile.

🌵  Step 5. Let’s say after the last step I had 2 cards on the “don’t know” pile and one card still in the “know” pile.  I then re-study and re-memorize the two cards in the “don’t know” pile until they can be moved to the know pile.

🌵 Step 6.  I then repeat step 4 and step 5 again checking for accuracy.

🌵  Step 7.  Once the first three cards are all steadily in the “know” pile, I add 3 more cards and repeat step 3 through step 6 all over again.  This time, after the three new cards enter the “know” pile, I check my accuracy with all 6 cards before moving on! 

***ill usually do this until there are ~20 cards in the “know” pile and then I start all over. And then once I have 2 piles of 20 each I’ll check all 40 together!!***

Cutting ties with my family has been such a strange event in my life, because 90% of the time I’ll be fine, and then I’ll see a post about someone interacting with their family and I’m just like… ah. Family. That thing that exists. That is a positive impact on many people’s lives.

Also, any post that implies an obligation toward your family is bullshit. The longer I am away, the happier I am that I left.

I have realized (I knew before, but now that knowledge has kind of actualized) that the toxic people in your life want you to think negatively of that voice in your mind telling you something needs to change. They want you to think your friends are privileged for thinking you should leave, for thinking that you don’t owe your toxic family anything. Even when I left, I did so wondering how I was going to pay my family back for all they had done for me, but after I had been gone for a while, I realized that my family took from me just as much, if not more, than they gave. Feeding me doesn’t count when you’re going to make me hate myself and think I’m better off dead anyway, whether you mean to or not.

All those years that my friends told me I was better off without my family, they were right. And maybe it was for the best that I was able to survive there just long enough to get a full-time job and a car and it breaks my heart that some kids like me aren’t in that position.

But what I’ve learned from all this is that, if you are in a toxic family, you will get out. You have resources, perhaps ones you haven’t even considered, perhaps ones that have yet to be revealed to you, and you will see better things. The toxic people in your life will do everything in their power to black out the light at the end of the tunnel, to make you think they are all you have, or maybe that you are all that they have, but you are stronger than they are. It’s hard, but you will see better days. That is what I’ve learned from all of this. I wish I could have seen it sooner.

Chronic UTI story

I used to get a UTI every single time my ex and I would have sex, and no amount of peeing right after sex, hygiene, or water intake changed anything. I had never had penis in vagina sex before, and so had never dealt with this before. I was completely stressed out from the constant infection, and my bladder became sore and painful from the constant infection, and I became resistant to the normal antibiotics, so they had to prescribe stronger ones, and when those stopped working, they had to prescribe even STRONGER ones. I tried everything, water, cranberry juice, cranberry capsules, but nothing worked, until I tried D Mannose. I must have read several hundred testimonials, and they all said the same thing: this works. I still thought it was ridiculous (I tend not to trust internet testimonials, even though they were also on amazon), but at my wits end I ordered some. I wasn’t sure how much to take at first, so I was taking A LOT, but magically I stopped getting UTIs. I thought it was kinda silly, that this weird powdered sugar stuff was preventing infections, so I stopped taking it, and two days later I started to feel the tingle that means I’m getting a UTI. It developed, and I had to go to the doctor to get antibiotics, but I started taking the powder again as soon  as I felt it, and continued taking it while taking the antibiotics, and the infection went away more quickly than it ever had before.

I didn’t test the theory again, and I didn’t have a single more UTI. My bladder soreness also went away, and I couldn’t be more physically comfortable. I STRONGLY suggest trying this stuff, because it gave me my sex life back.

I buy the D Mannose powder online from a brand called Now Foods on Amazon. It’s $17 bucks for a bottle, and a bottle lasts me a month. I would stir one spoonful into a glass of water and drink that right after sex or the next morning, and have that one or two more times throughout the day, then one or two the next day just to be safe. I haven’t had a UTI in months, and this is coming from the person who has had over eight in the last year.

I really hope this helps someone, and I wish I had learned about it sooner so I didn’t have to take all those antibiotics, and so I could have stopped blaming myself for getting the infections. Some of us are just more prone to them than others.


I Can’t Be Without You

Wishing the happiest of birthdays to the lovely, kind, talented @emberglows! I am so privileged to be your friend, and as a sign of thanks/celebration of your birthday, I’ve written a Fiddlestan fic! I really hope you enjoy it. Happy birthday, love!! <3

“This is stupid.” Stan plucked at the bright red bowtie around his neck and grimaced at his reflection.

His niece swooped in and slapped his hands away. “Don’t touch it! You’ll ruin it.”

Stanley sighed and tugged at his suit jacket to banish the wrinkles. The suit was brand new and snug in the shoulders, but Mabel had refused to let him wear his Mystery Shack suit because it smelled like mothballs and formaldehyde. Stan had suspicions that Fiddleford was immune to the scent due to his work with Stanford, but he didn’t argue. He only put his foot down when Mabel suggested glitter hairspray to keep his hair in place. His hair was hard as a helmet with all the gel; it wasn’t going anywhere.

“Pumpkin, I don’t know about this. This seems a bit too…fancy. I’m just going out with Fiddleford.”

“Yeah, for your anniversary!” Mabel brushed back a stray hair from her Grunkle’s forehead and beamed at him in the mirror. After a few summers of growth spurts, Mabel now stood at her Grunkle’s shoulder, which meant she could now pick at him whenever she wanted. However, the careful adjustments – straightening a crooked tie, swiping at a smudge on his glasses with her sleeve, flattening a cowlick – were appreciated.

Mabel giggled in excitement and added, “I can’t believe you’ve been dating for a whole year!”

Stan swallowed hard as he grimaced at his reflection. “Me either.”

Keep reading

Thing I wish I’d learn sooner rather than later:

I feel really tired and can’t explain why - INHALER. 

I can’t seem to concentrate on this reading even though it’s really interesting - INHALER. 

I don’t know how but apparently I forgot how to arithmetic - INHALER. 

Huh, my head feels funny - INHALER. 

Normally, I’d jump at the chance to do that but right now I dunno why but I can’t summon any enthusiasm I’m just feeling kind of ‘blah’ - INHALER. 

I’m having a shitty day and can’t figure out why - INHALER. 

In general, I am having [otherwise - unexplained and baffling or out-of-character negative experience or feeling] means it’s probably my asthma sneaking up on me and I need to take my inhaler. Was feeling so exhausted could’ve fallen asleep at my desk. Took inhaler. 10 minutes later, it’s like 12 hours of sleep were infused through my lung lining along with the bronchodialator. Magic. 

This kind of slow, creeping asthma is really insidious because if it comes on slow enough I don’t even notice until something makes me go, “Hm, I should check my peak flow” and then I’m like, “Holy shit, I’m bordering my red zone! There’s yer problem!” 

10 Life Tips for Millennials

I’m a Millennial myself, but these are just a few things I’ve learned that I wish I’d known sooner.

1. Stop telling yourself you have to have kids by 26.
When I was 21 I thought I’d be married by 24 and have kids by the time I was 26. I thought trying to have children past 28 meant I was going to have one dusty egg left, and the child would be born as a fully formed Clint Eastwood. The truth is that you have until at least 35, and those extra years are vital for your career, your home, and figuring out who you are. You shouldn’t have a kid just because it’s according to your plan or because you are afraid you’ll never have one. I’m still not ready for children. Yesterday a five year old was riding a tricycle up and down my hallway and he was blocking the door to my apartment. When I leaned in to ask him to move, he sneezed all over me and my groceries. It took all of my effort not to cow tip him and flatten his tires. Motherhood’s not calling out to me right now. Pizza is calling out to me. Motherhood not so much. 

Oh, and PS–having no kids–also a totally valid choice. As a person who is tired of being slammed in the back of the shins by mini shopping carts at Trader Joe’s, I thank you for your service.

2. Stop lambasting yourself for not being the CEO.
The CEO became the CEO because he or she put the time in, worked hard, and eventually asked to be CEO. (That last part is important–no one will give anything unless you ask. Except for those samples of Chinese food at the mall. Those always come without request.) A lot of older generations think that millennials expect to walk in to the office and get a raise for showing up. That’s not necessarily true, but we do internally freak out when we see others getting a raise when we are not. Younger generations were raised on internet culture, which means for almost our entire lives we’ve had a box in front of us that says, “This is where you should be in life. And this is the best version of whatever you’re doing. And here is a 12 year old who is already doing it better than you.” With those thoughts in our heads, an unstable retirement future, and an assload of student loans, we are running a race that our co-workers are not even competing in. I’m sure it was fucking delightful to grow up without the internet telling you what to do. It was all boxcar races and apple pies…but what do you think the older generations would be if they had Buzzfeed’s list of “40 Apple Pies That Are Better Than Yours”? Or a YouTube clip of a five year old building a boxcar in ten minutes with nothing but a bendy straw and gum. 

Neurotic. They would be neurotic.

3. You will fuck up your taxes.
Ralph and I were both the top of our class in school, and yet we have both overpaid and underpaid our taxes already. And every year we have tried to pay online we have ended having to pay AGAIN by check. It’s not because we are not adults. It’s because taxes are written in the Elvish language from The Lord of the Rings and the online site is just two twigs holding up a piece of paper that says “US Tax Forms.”

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When making a decision, listen to three things; your head, your heart, and your gut. The right choice will always be the option the majority of those three things agree upon.
—  Something I wish I had learned a lot sooner in life (4/30/15)
7 things to take away from school before graduating middle/highschool/college/wherever

1. you are going to live with yourself FOREVER. You don’t have a choice. You might as well make the best out of it. 

2. Having everyone like you ( or pretend to like you) won’t fufill the emptiness in yourself. 

3. stand your ground in what you believe in. You are nobody’s doormat, and you don’t need to sway yourself in order to satisfy someone else.

4.Not everybody will like you. And you don’t need them to. You were made 100% unique. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. They don’t have to like you, but make sure they always respect you. Fuck ‘em 

5. You are about to leave, so let the bad time roll of your back. You deserve a fresh start at life. Don’t let the bad times consume you. 

6. The sooner you stop comparing yourself to people, the easier it becomes to appreciate who you are. 

7. There is only ONE of you. You deserve the best shot at life. The best shot at love. The best shot at happiness. You were born unique to this world and are irreplaceable. No one in the history of the world living or dead will ever be the same as you. Ever have your laugh, your smile, your fingerprints, all your likes and dislikes. That is exclusive to you and you alone. So take a little time once in a while to celebrate you. 

1. smoking weed a few times will not kill you
2. it is a drug though and it shouldn’t be used to make you feel alive
3. when you do ecstasy don’t chew it
4. charcoal pills can save your life
5. molly helps you dance but it also brings your demons out to party
4. there is no such thing as a clean drug
5. if you make the decision to quit and your friends still pressure you, they aren’t your friends
6. pain killers are just as addictive as cocaine
7. when you almost overdose don’t just let it happen stick your fingers down your throat
8. acid doesn’t have a taste, when you taste it you’re doing research chemicals
9. you will age a lot faster
10. the weight you will lose will not look good
11. you will lose all of your friends when you start using
12. you’ll lose them all again when you quit
13. you will get addicted
14. your mom will look at you wishing that you weren’t her child anymore
15. you will wish you knew these things sooner when you can’t function without the high, you’re overdosing twice a week, and not even your mom wants you anymore.
—  15 things I wish I learned about drugs sooner