wish i got to play with one of those

stuffuluffies  asked:

Hey sal!! When did you realize that you loved skitty?

It was four years ago! The whole thing with Skitty started with Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. Since it was the first time I played this game, I wasn’t too familiar with the Personality Quiz, but I tried to get female Riolu all the time (unless I actually played EoT/EoD instead of EoS), thinking that it would align with my personality and I always had a preference for choosing female characters in Pokemon as some sort of tradition, anyways, I was one of those individuals who loved “COOL AND AWESOME” Pokemon and I’m “COOL AND AWESOME”.

However, for some reason, I always got Skitty in the personality quiz, despite not wishing to be the tiny pink cat, so I kept resetting the game, but no, I couldn’t get Riolu, the game always chose Skitty, Pikachu or Chikorita for me. A friend of mine started to tease me about it all the time, and eventually, I just let it sink in, and so I started my first playthrough on Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of sky with a Skitty and ever since then, I wouldn’t realize how powerful Skitty really was in the game.

So I just slowly grew myself attached to the Skitty and eventually, it became my favorite Pokemon! Skitty has been nothing but a positive force since then.

Torture sentence starters
  • “Oh god.. Oh please, god, no!”
  • “Please… Please..! I’ll do anything..!!”
  • “P-please.. Please don’t..”
  • “Anything but that.. Please, please! Stop!”
  • “Stop? Why on earth would I do a thing like that for?”
  • “We’re having so much fun!”
  • “We’ll have so much fun, you and I…”
  • “Look at the new toy I got for us to play with!”
  • “Shut up! Shut up!!”
  • “Oh please.. Like I haven’t heard that one before…”
  • “If I had a nickel for every time someone begged me to stop… I’d be fucking rich.”
  • “Ooh, look at that. Look at all the blood. Amazing, isn’t it?”
  • “Let’s crack open the hood and see what’s underneath, shall we?”
  • “You know what I love more than agonized screaming? The sound of people choking on their own blood. Very satisfying.”
  • “If you beg, I might just stop… Maybe. But only if you’re sincere.”
  • “Beg me, you stupid whore! Beg me to stop! Come on!!”
  • “Go ahead – beg for forgiveness. God’s the only friend you’ve got down here. ”
  • “Shut up or I’ll wrap your intestines around your throat like a scarf.”
  • “Ha ha! I love it when they scream!”
  • “Keep going… I love the sound of your voice.”
  • “Stop praying! There is no God here.”
  • “Shut the fuck up!!”
  • “Let’s play a game, shall we? It’s called, ‘how many of your organs can I remove before you die?’“
  • “Alright, here’s the deal… Since you scream every time you see me – let’s just remove your eyes, hm?”
  • “Has anyone ever told you how good you look in red?”
  • “Beautiful… Absolutely beautiful…”
  • “I’m not going to kill you… But I’m going to make you wish I would.”
  • “This is what you get! This is what you get for hurting me!”
  • “Do you like rats? I hope so. Because we’re going to play a little game with one that involves your stomach, a container, and an open flame.”
  • “Have you ever heard of abacination?”
  • “You’ve got cavities back there, you know. Why don’t remove those pesky teeth for you, hm?”
  • “Wake up! Can’t have you passing out on me.”
  • “I won’t scream.”
  • “I won’t tell you anything.”
  • “There’s no way I’m gonna tell you shit.”
  • “By the time anyone finds your body, they won’t be able to identify it.”
  • “No one is coming for you.”
  • “You won’t get away with this!”
  • “People will notice! They’ll look for me!”
  • “Stop, oh god, please! Please stop.. The pain..!”
  • “You’re insane!”
  • “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing – I’ve got a medical degree, you know.”
  • “Shh, don’t cry. Don’t cry.”
  • “No tears now, okay? Everything will soon be over.”
  • “Stop! Please, stop! I’ll tell you anything! Just stop!”
  • “Tell me – how does this feel?”
  • “I hate you! Oh god, I hate you!”
  • “Fuck you!”
  • “Fuck off!”
  • “Oh, what a mess you’ve made…”
  • “You look like a mess.”
  • “Chin up, kid. It’ll be over soon enough.”
  • “I’m just going to borrow a few fingers, okay?”
  • “Could you lend me a ‘hand’? Yes? Oh good. I was planning on taking it anyway.”
  • “Shut up, I’m not going to kill you. You don’t deserve that kind of mercy.”
  • “You know why you’re here.”
  • “Own up to what you’ve done and maybe you’ll leave here alive!”
  • “What the fuck is wrong with you!?!”
  • “Please! Someone help! Anyone! Oh god.. PLEASE!”
  • “Not that – anything but that! P-please! PLEASE, NO!”
  • “Let me go. Please.. Please let me go…”
  • “I’ll tell you anything you want! Just please, please stop!”
  • “I’m not going to break that easy.”
very long post about podcasts because someone sent me an ask about podcasts and I love podcasts and you can't do read mores on mobile sorry.

Hello I just wrote this incredibly long post about all the podcasts I listen to and would therefore recommend. Before you ask, I work alone so that’s how I have so much time for this many podcasts, plus audiobooks and music listening and everything.

Comedy Shows I Listen To Every Week

Comedy Bang Bang - always good, always funny, and if you have howl or stitcher premium the month of tour shows they did last year is really the best thing the medium of podcasts has ever produced, I really love it.

Hollywood Handbook - the best podcast. notoriously ‘hard to get into’ because it apparently takes people a little to adjust to the mindset these guys are in, and it requires you to be a little bit of a podcast person and also to have listened to this show for 100 eps to get certain things but it’s really incredible if it’s your thing.
Their latest episode where they designed cards is maybe one of the most accessible episodes they’ve done in a while and if you’ve ever listened to Spontaneanation the episode they did with Paul F Tompkins a couple of weeks ago had me absolutely crying laughing.

With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus - Lauren Lapkus is the funniest person on the planet, undoubtedly. This show varies pretty wildly depending on the guest because it’s so conceptual but it’s never ever bad. Also please watch the web series The Earliest Show she did with Ben Schwartz because while the show is really good, the hour of outtakes is one of my favourite videos ever.

My Brother, My Brother And Me - you already know what it is. Good show, fun time.

Spontaneanation - Paul F. Tompkins really is a gift and this show is very very good, it’s fun and silly and good natured which is a nice change of pace from a lot of the world. The recent episode with Lauren Lapkus and Tatiana Maslaney is really really good on both sides.

Comedy Shows I Listen To Sometimes

Hard Nation - this is a really good political
satire that almost always becomes very absurd. I’ve stopped listening to it as much in the last few months as politics news has sort of outstripped the pace of a weekly satire which is insane, but the show is still great every episode.

Never Not Funny - pretty easygoing chat show that I’ll listen to depending on the guest, it’s always good even if it’s someone I don’t know.

improv4humans - Matt Besser is one of the worst human beings alive and I really wish literally anyone else would start a show with this exact format but for now it’s all I’ve got. Any of the Wild Horses eps are incredible if you want a recommendation.

The Adventure Zone - you already know what it is, it’s those brothers playing dungeons and dragons. I’m lightyears behind but I listen to this sometimes and I’m slowly catching up.

Victrola - Improv combined with tight editing in a similar vein to Superego.

Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown - a british panel show in podcast format, very good.

Handsome Rambler - Hannibal Buress’ podcast, great if you’re a fan and pretty infrequent so it’s easy to keep up with.

The Todd Glass Show - Todd Glass is an incredibly odd man and his show really reflects that. There’s a live band and lots of code words. The recent ep with Paul F Tompkins is an all timer, please listen to it if nothing else.

The Smartest Man In The World - I have no idea what this show is. As I understand it it’s just Greg Proops talking to a crowd about whatever’s on his mind and sometimes they bring him books to read out of? Very strange but Greg Proops is so incredibly good at just talking that it’s a great listen.

The Comedian’s Comedian - Stuart Goldsmith interviews comedians about making comedy. Really illuminating if it’s someone you love. Bizzare if it’s someone you don’t like cause they’ll explain their incredibly involved process for coming up with shit and boring jokes.

Politics Podcasts I Listen To Most Days

Is It On? - Buzzfeed Australia’s politics podcast. Really good light wrap up of the week in federal politics mixed with interviews with politicians that are a lot more personal and engaging than a lot of political interviews.

AM - ABC Radio National’s daily morning show. It’s only half an hour so it’s a really easy way to stay in the loop on the way to work or something.

The World Today - same thing but about world news and longer if you’re really interested.

The Daily - The New Yorker’s daily podcast. Great way to keep up with whatever the fuck Trump is doing today without having to go scrying through half baked twitter takes every morning.

Podcasts That Most Closely Fit Into The Genre Of ‘Podcast’

Song Exploder - breaking down songs note by note with the writers, incredibly well produced and a pleasure to listen to.

Reply All - really interesting show about the internet and all the evils it contains. Their episode Very Quickly To The Drill is the most interesting story about locksmiths you’ll ever hear.

Heavyweight - Jonathan Goldstein helps people make peace with their past. This is one of the best podcasts I heard last year and I really cannot wait for a second season.

Black List Table Reads - full quasi-radio plays of unproduced film scripts from The Black List. An incredible show that I wish were more popular.

99% Invisible - great stories about architecture and design.

Invisibilia - similar but about your emotions and brain

Gunsmoke - oldtimeradio.com presents the original 1950s cowboy radio serial Gunsmoke! and thank god!

Radiolab - it’s podcasts baby!

This American Life - baby, it’s podcasts!

Shows That Are Finished Series

Wiretap - Incredible show that I can’t believe I never heard of before. Hard to explain but it feels kind of like if Seinfeld was a radio show and happened mostly via phone calls.

Reality Show Show - the Hollywood Handbook guys’ previous show. A lot more accessible and incredibly listenable for what you’d think would be a pretty time specific show about reality tv.

Dead Authors Podcast - Paul F. Tompkins as HG Wells interviews comedians in character as famous dead authors. Surprisingly well researched and incredibly funny.

Wild Horses: The Perspective - I am absolutely begging for more episodes of this show from Lauren Lapkus’ improv group because it is so so good.

U Talkin’ U2 To Me? - please listen to this show, even if you don’t like U2. In face especially if you don’t. Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman try to review U2’s discography but very quickly devolve into some of the most absurd podcasting ever.

Superego - tightly edited improv with music and everything. Incredibly strange in a good way and it takes a little to adjust to the tone but it’s a great show.

Mystery Show - still gutted this never got a second series. Detective show in the vein of Serial about incredibly benign mysteries like how tall Jake Gyllenhaal is.

Rum, Rebels And Ratbags - great Australian history podcast from David Hunt who wrote the very good Australian history books Girt and True Girt.

Not Available On Stitcher But Very Good

Dead Pilots Society - like The Black List Table Reads but for unproduced comedy show pilots. Hilarious, well produced and an interesting look at how getting a tv show made works.

Night People On WMFU - this show’s finished, but it was a late night call in show on some american radio station. Perfect oddball show for driving at night or falling asleep to.

Please reply to this post and tell me more podcasts you think I’d like, or even ones I wouldn’t but you do - who cares.
If you reply to this post and tell me to listen to Cum Town I will block you.

Gustav was such a wonderful person, and he deserved so much more than this. Thank you for all the support you guys are showing for one another, we are all devastated by this. I wasn’t able to do much yesterday because I was desperately hoping that this had all been a dream, I could not believe that he had died. We need to keep his memory alive and make sure people everywhere know who he really was, as a wonderful human being that was so much more than just a rapper/ singer. I’m so greatful to be one of the people that supported him and that got to see him grow through his music. I wish i got the chance to meet him in person. It breaks my heart that he is really gone. I wish that he had known himself how truely beautiful he was as a person. Make sure that you are supporting your friends and those around you, and that they know how important they are. If any of you need anything or need to talk to someone, i’m always here. Let’s keep his spirit alive and play his songs on repeat until the end.

2

30 Day Mass Effect Challenge

↬ 12. Favourite NPC

Steve Cortez! Honest to God I adore this man. He is sweet, loveable, and his story about his husband breaks my heart and I always make sure to go down to talk to him after every mission. He’s one of those characters that I wish got more screen time, just due to the fact that I loved having him around and if I could stand playing as MaleShep, I would most certainly romance Steve.

Also he is the only one not to make fun of Shep’s dancing so A++ my guy. I love you. 

anonymous asked:

Can we get a ryden timeline... xx (love the blog)

thank you anon xo, and I can do a Ryden timeline and edit: I took the readmore out because it doesn’t work on mobile so sorry this is going to be lengthy, and I apologize, some of the stuff I’m gonna say I can not find the articles or pictures to back myself up.

I think I’m gonna do this timeline by year 

2004/2006

Ryan and Jac, Brendon and Audrey

  -So back in like the wee baby days of Panic! Ryan and Brendon both dated a couple of “scene queens’ (oh early 00′s) and I wouldn’t mention it but there are sceenshots of conversations between the two girls saying stuff like “Oh your boyfriend turned mine gay.” and a few other things about the boys having a thing.

Ryan’s Livejournal

-Here’s the tumblr post all of his entries are on, seriously give them a read in your freetime

-he’s deleted the account, so :(. Like right after the Myrtle Beach stuff but that is the next thing

-So his livejournal, full of teenage angst, the early developments of songs from fever, vague relationship posts, great banter between him and brendon including:

-I apologize there are a few other things of them interacting on lj but I can’t fine any screenshots or anything of them

Kerrang! Slow Dancing article

-So basically in a December 2006 issue of Kerrang! they put in an article and I quote  “Urie and Ross crack up as they slow-dance together through the heaving dressing room, belting out ‘All These Things That I’ve Done’ by fellow Las Vegas quartet The Killers as they glide through the crowd.”

-Don’t believe me here’s a pic of the article with that paragraph circled, super hard to read, but it’s there

Myrtle Beach

-Shit gets sexy here (like literally)

-So the myrtle beach lore is what I would call 1/3 of the huge Ryden lore stories

-Basically after a show Panic! and their crew all went skinny dipping in Myrtle Beach

-In some interview or another I’m pretty sure one of the backup dancers on tour implied that they fucked. 

-Ryan wrote this livejournal entry about the night:

Sun, Jun 25 2006

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight.the salt burned you right out of my eyes.and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.

Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath.

this is why I walk to the ocean.swim with jellyfish.I may never get this chance again.

this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss.

If you want to cry you should cry, and

if you want to live you should live.

You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.it’s for lovers (orjustfriends)

This is why I do it.

-and then promptly deleted his lj account shortly after that

2007/2009

Seattle 

-Seattle is already a significant place for Ryan as noted by this livejournal post:

Mon, Feb 6 2006

lay like lions in the sand..

one day we’ll settle in Seattle.

-But back to what this is really for (also totally copy and pasting this from my seattle post yesterday)

-Ryan turned 21 Pete Wentz  threw his party at one of his clubs in NYC, none of the other Panic! were 21 yet so they were already in seattle for the next show they were playing. 

^^^ Ryan @ his bday party,  -But anyways sometime during that night Ryan left his birthday party to fly out to Seattle, and was spotting in a resturant with Brendon, and a fan reconized them and got a picture which is here (sorry she’s blurred out I can’t find one not like that.)

-So yeah our boy left is own bday party to be with Brendon and wrote a song about it ( more on that in the next section) 

 -Ryan and Brendon also did an interview together around that same time where Ryan was still wearing the outfit from his B-day party and Brendon was wearing what he wore in that picture with a fan. Link to that interview: Here

Pretty.Odd

-2ish years since fever

-How much detail so I gotta go into here? That album was gay as fuck.

- It’s lengthy so I won’t go into depth but this entire album is basically about a summer love, more specifically the two people in love (Ryan and Brendon since this is a Ryden thing) Who use “the sun” and “the moon” to refer to eachother. It’s up for debate who’s who. And i’m not going to get into it

-Most notably is the lyric “We must reinvent love.” From Mad as Rabbits which is quoting a poem by a gay man about how since he doesn’t like women love must be reinvented

Northern Downpour (yeah I had to give this it’s own section)

 -This is a song on pretty.odd is heavily suspected to be about that night in Seattle, including lyrics such as “I missed your skin when you we’re East, you clicked your heels and wished for me.” (Ryan was in NYC which is east of Seattle), along with Seattle is rainy and in the North of the US.

-Ryan told Brendon to pay special attention to the lyric “I know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches call it home.” and that is the lyric he got chocked up on playing it post-split

-Also during the Live in Chicago performance Brendon sings “Northern Downpour sends it’s love-” and then adds in and “I love you.” Right after.

Cape Town

-Pain, sadness

-No one knows what the fuck happened (aside from those involved)

-Cape Town, South Africa is where the last Panic! show with Ryan and Jon in the band played. It’s shady, and what is know is that Ryan and Brendon were not getting along to the point where they could stand to be in the same room together so Ryan and Jon left and created The Young Veins. 

- The Young Veins just so happen to have a song called Cape Town

-There’s a lot of speculation about said song being about Ryden and the band split (wrapped up into a metaphor about a girl). Mostly because the song is about a lost love. (in cape town.)

-Another large reason this is a very significant place in Ryden lore would be the lyric comparisons from the song Cape Town by The Young Veins, and a few songs off of Vices & Virtues. Most notably. From Cape Town: “Woke me in the morning asked me if I meant it, I didn't”. And from The Calendar (A song confirmed to be about the panic! split): “And I meant everything I said that night”

-The V&V bonus track the song Bittersweet has the lyric: “I’ve been to Tokyo, and to South Africa so many places that you may say I’ve seen it all”. Cape Town is in South African, not hard to make a connect about the two. And that concludes today’s lesson on the mystery of Cape Town.

Post-Split bits and peaces

-The Young Veins went off and wrote an album all about regret called Take A Vacation!

-Brendon and Spencer went on and released Vices & Virtues which is full of salt and bitterness. Salty Breakup album. 

-Ryan and Brendon parallel lyrics to eachother and I reccomend doing research on it or shooting me an ask and I’ll talk about it. 

And that is a timeline of Ryden 2004-2011ish. Feel free to ask me for more post breakup stuff (like Halloween, or the whole ‘they were cool after the split to now they rarely talk’ ) This is just getting lengthy but I will answer more questions on it

anonymous asked:

Can i have a HC where MC buys the RFA a video game and finds out that they are all rage-videogamers? Like MC will be cooking in the kitchen and then all the sudden hears their S/O shouting something so ridiculous because they're mad at the game?

Idk much about videogames, so these are short and maybe not that good. Hope you still like this!

I’ll be back soon with the first fic for Choimatos’ b-day!


RFA turning into rage gamers


Zen

  • When he saw you bought Resident Evil 7, he laughed.
  • More like scoffed.
  • “Babe, you give money to them, you encourage them on keep on doing those bad movies.”
  • Then he sees you playing and… okay, seems realistic, seems like a good horror movie…
  • He gives it a shot when you’re not home and boy…
  •  He doesn’t really like horror genre in general, he just likes when you two are watching some movie and you keep clinging on him.
  • But this game is so good, it has action, mistery and it’s scary as fuck, he would cling on you for his dearest life if he didn’t feel like playing the knight all the time for you.

Yoosung

  • For. Your. Honor
  • Look at these graphics, Yoosung! LOLOL could nevah!
  • He’s offended by such a blasphemy!
  • So it’s a little bit of a cold war, he’s on his room playing LOLOL, you’re in the living room playing FYH, and you look so focused.
  • So he needs to see what’s driving your attention on scolding him for playing so much.
  • And gurl… you were so right. LOLOL could never, indeed.
  • Now you can scold each other for playing so much, but just because you’re taking turns on playing this.

Jaehee

  • Sniper Ghost Warrior 3? WTF?
  • She didn’t even know like video games, let alone games with so much… violence!
  • Oh, she’s so worried you’ll end up like Yoosung!
  • And she won’t be able to do anything, because she hasn’t the guts to scold you like she does to Yoosung.
  • “MC, what are you doing?” “Learning history, geography and how to build guns!” “Okay…”
  • You explain to her very excitedly about the game and she… sees the appeal. Cn she try a little?
  • Ugh, why didn’t she find out about this before? This would be such a great anger relief in those days at C &R…

Jumin

  • He had access to the best and the most current releases when he was a kid and… never cared about this.
  • You glare at him, what would you give to have all the games you wished for?
  • So now you got all the Super Mario editions!
  • And though the most recent ones are beautiful, you have a thing for the classics.
  • Apparently, so has he, as he watches you attentively and ask you to reming him how to play.
  • “I liked this one when I was little.” Hmmm, he still does.
  • It’s been a few hours now, won’t he go to work?

Saeyoung

  • He’s been using the memes, but he doesn’t really care for the origin.
  •  You do, it’s from Persona 5, and you just bought it.
  • He’s watching you play, and you look so caught up with the plot, it’s adorable.
  • He keeps asking you questions to see you get all excited, then he starts taking interest in your answers.
  • Next thing you know, he’s helping you.
  • Now he has the console.
  • And you don’t even care, you both just want to finish this. The house is so silent, Saeran and Vanderwood are starting to get worried.
Red Dragon con 3 recap part 3

PART 1 - 2 

Hugh and Bryan Q&A panel summary (well, only Hugh in this post though)

Poor Hugh had to start the panel alone, because Bryan was still taking his time doing his autographs! In the end, the whole panel lasted close to 1hr extra, but I’m not sure anyone really minded! (Also, once again, apologies for possible inaccuracies, but I tried to make this as detailed as I could!)

Hugh

-The panel started with Hugh announcing he would not planning to do any one man reenactments of BDSM practices :’D 

-The first (oh god haha) question was if he did any preparations for his role in Hysteria? Well, he did hand exercises…also, some guy in customs in Israel asked him “did you do that vibrator movie?”

-Dream project? “Besides the obvious?”. Hugh trusts Bryan, and would take part in any of his projects. 

-Will presenting to be “on the spectrum” was a defense mechanism!

-People kept telling Hugh “thank you for being here”, and he just had to emphasize that HE is really happy to be here. (aww)

-Role models: directors who went the extra mile, family, friends.

-Cal is a “very lonely man”. “The last thing I would do would be to practice in front of a mirror”.

-Hugh and Mads joked about Will finding Hannibal’s notes on him, and wondered if Hannibal had a “don’t show this to Will” folder.

-Hugh about Hannibal: Hannibal is an evil genius, getting dressed up in the morning, preparing food etc. “When does that man sleep?”

-Will Graham would be the world’s worst Christian Grey like billionaire: he’d live in the same house, buy more dogs, upgrade his fishing equipment, build a wall around the house…and he’d never take off his glasses.

-Hannibal & Will relationship: To Hugh, when Will asks “is Hannibal in love with me”, it’s weird it hasn’t occurred to him before. Before that question, he saw it as platonic obsessive love. “For both of them it’s a relief from loneliness. Is that not love?”. Meeting a person who answers all your questions, even if they create more questions in the process. The world makes more sense when they’re together. (I really wish I could give a direct quote about this!)

- Will was plenty dark before Hannibal’s influence. Will was born with his mental makeup, as was Hannibal. “It doesn’t matter what kid got eaten”.

-What does Will listen to? “He could be a Deadhead and listens to 70s rock. He could also have a deep love for Austrian chamber music”. Will could be one of those people who are full of surprises, so maybe he played the piano in his house, but it probably came with the house.

-”You could think about these things more in depth. I’m very aware the characters are not real, except Scott’s performance which was rooted in reality”

-”If Will and Hannibal survived the fall…”, “Oh they did”. Maybe Hannibal had a magic toolbox that saved them? The fall was real, not a metaphor. It was a deliberate decision for Will to go off the cliff, he was convinced they both had to go. After the fall, there would be a lot of recuperation going on, and it would allow a kind of character reset. However, a show without Will’s empathy would not the show anymore. 

Keep reading

Things in BMC 11/12/17

- there was an ensemble girl who had an outfit very similar to original Brooke and I hope that it was on purpose

- Christine is SO GOOD AND PURE

- pitiful children was AMAIZNF

- honestly all the musical numbers were tbh…

- Jake hAD A FIGDET SPINNER IM DYING

- Michael semi-dabbed in two player game, which was awesome and Jeremy pushed Michael off him st the end and Michael just FELL LIKE A TREE HAHA

- during “A guy that I’d kinda be into” where Christine sings about how she likes talking to Jeremy, he takes her hand and they start slow dancing and it’s really so cute

- Chloe and Brooke during the play sounded so emotionless and robotic when saying their lines and I thought it was so cool bc I never would’ve imagined that small difference

- and during “the play” after Christine’s been squipped she dances with Jeremy again and it really breaks my heart

- Also during that part ^ where Jeremy’s like “she’ll do whatever I want?” Michael is in the background and he starts getting emotional and I don’t know how Ryan did this, but you could tell by his facial expressions and body that Michael was thinking “I knew it. I can’t believe Jeremy.” And he gets really upset and right before Jeremytells Christine to drink the Mountain Dew red, MICHAEL WIPES TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND IS ABOUT TO LEAVE SADLY and then he gets so happy but then after everyone screams and falls to the floor, Michael just goes “OH FUCK” it’s hilarious

- I never really liked Voices in my Head much but I really love it now bc of what the actors did during the number.

- CHLOE TELLS JENNA TO TELL JEREMY WHAT TO SAY TO CHRISTINE DURING VOICES IN MY HEAD AND JENNA DID A DOUBLE TAKE AND JUST WENT LIKE “me?” AND IT WAS SO CUTE AND SAD

- Christine kissed Jeremy and it was really adorable and I loved it and the audience cheered (they also cheered when Mr Heere had pants on - by the way, I sat right by the isle and Michael ran right past me once and I freaked out and MrHeere did too and he wasn’t wEARING PANTS and it was the funniest thing ever

- During voices in my head, Michael did a coolio dance right in front of me and my friends’ seats and HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ALL OF US AND LIKE NODDED AT US OR SOMETHKNG?? IT WAS GREAT

- Standing Ovation™

- I went to the stage door w/ my friends and Jenna, Mr Heere, Jake, and someone else (I honestly can’t remember who and their signature is unreadable but it MIGHT have been Rich) signed my book and Jake was so polite and he liked that I had a book AND IT WAS AWESOME

- I ALMOST got matts signature but they had to finish signing quickly because of the talkback but still!

- The theatre was absolutely stunning. The lights and the walls and everything was amazing and there was a lounge that was so wonderful. The theatre itself was beautiful and very big and the stage was gigantic as well. They had balcony “seats” with those mean muppets (sorry if you can’t tell what I’m talking about I don’t know their names haha) but I thought it was super funny.

- I got an “I <3 play rehearsal shirt” which I love but I wish I could’ve also gotten a Be More Chill shirt but they sold out =(

- I sat front row and I was very shocked that no one spit on me?? But also VERY impressed

- there was a person who offered to pass my book up to the cast during the stage door thing and they had awesome hair and a really cool beanie and I just wanna say THANK YOU PERSON!! HMU IF YOU SEE THIS YOU SEEM AWESOME!!

- also a LOT of Michael cosplayers and I saw a Jeremy and they were some GREAT COSPLAYS!!

- the audience wasn’t that bad tbh, they cheered for the beginning of Michael in the bathroom and the squip song which I totally get btw

- Rich was… so great

- Everyone did an EXCELLENT JOB!! ESPECIALLY the director and the crew and the musicians!!!

Hey everyone! It’s been a long ride but I finally made a huge milestone! 500 plus followers! I’ve never dreamed I would have have so many of you following me. It brings a tear to my eye that everyone loves the meme son so much! Especially with all of you so cool and awesome. And being such good friends. And to those who left, I wish you the best and hope you find some type of happiness wherever you are. First, here’s a little list of people who has made this experience on here such a blast.

-

@beyondarrest I don’t talk to you much but the conversations we did have, mostly us making jokes that Akira was Katsuya’s son and actually making it happen was one of the best moments I’ve had ever since I made this account. Plus, you really make a great Katsuya. You’re the reason why I got invested in playing Persona 2 Eternal Punishment. Still gotta finish it but I do thank you for recommended it to me.

@skullheist Jazz, you were my first friend on here and I thank you for sticking with me. We don’t talk like we used to but I still like you as friend I whole bunch! Hope to still be here with you for many more funny times on here.

@the-phantom-crow Minty, I know my meme son can be frustrating sometime but I am glad you like my version of Akira. I like how you can tell he’s unique and somewhat annoying but a good annoying as I recall you saying a little while back. Also, you are the first Goro I followed and I don’t regret it one bit. Here’s to many more shenanigans.

@dolgelo  I know we haven’t spoken or interacted that much. Maybe a meme or something like that. It’s been to long. Anyways, I love and admire your Mitsuru. So much that I actually like her a lot more than I used to.

@hekigankiseki  Oh gosh. You’re like the first Minato that I followed on here and I gotta say, I really love everything you do with your muse. Keep up the great work. I read all your your threads and headcanons, just amazed at your time and dedication to your muse. Happy vibes to you! 

@gooselullaby !! Your Nana-chan I just a little bundle of sunshine! She’s cute, she’s a little bit sassy but loves everyone. I can tell the love and joy you put into Nanako and ours muse’s interactions are just the cutest! I always love to see you on my dash everyday. Much happy vibes!

@desbearer hEEEy! Unicorn! Can’t forget about u. U are like my most favorite person to know. I mean seriously, I thought I was the only one who liked the RICK ROLL song but to have you like it as well is so awesome! And I love your human monokuma so much. So much that I cry at the perfection. Don’t stop being you, you great person!

@steelbanchou / @ultimatetalentless Sin! There’s so much I’d like to say here! One, thank for being at my side during my more darker patches in the community. You really stuck with me in the month of July. At that time, I felt awful and wanted to delete but you kept me from doing so. I’ll never forget that kindness. And two, I am really thankful for all of the things you tag me in and being cool when I sent you random asks, because we both know how random Akira can be when he’s in a mood. Good thing Yu/Hajime doesn’t fall for the silly things he does. Anyways, I am glad to know you by being here! Here’s to more days to come!

@praepcsitus Hey Yang! I can’t tell you how much I love your Edgeworth! I’ve always been a fan for the ace attorney games and found out about you following me, I literally screamed in excitement! And to my surprise, I found myself liking everything you write about one of my favorite characters too! Keep up the awesome job you do! You really are one of the best Edgeworth(s) I’ve seen in awhile. Much luck to you!

@corruptedpersona Hey! We don’t talk that much but I very much love your (dark) Akira very much! You really make him unique and sometimes down right crazy, but that’s cool too! Enjoy seeing you once in awhile on my dash.

@edgyearring You, yes you! Rach, I just love that we both know about SMT IV and SMT IVA and can talk about it for hours on end. I just like that I found someone who likes something I do. We also like dothack but I was really surprised when I saw you talking about the one game that isn’t liked by many fans. Plus, you’re funny and great to talk too. Always love reading your OOC posts too! Thanks for being my friend. Here’s to many more!

@positivepianist oh my god!! I love your Kaede so much! I know next to nothing about DR3 but reading your interactions with your followers makes me like the pianist so much! Can’t wait for the release of the game and hope she’s just as much as good as your version of her. Keep being positive! 

@whtcoats Libra! I can’t say how much I love your Akechi! From the way your write, to your headcanons, to your crack posts. I’m such a fan, you don’t know how excited I get when I see your posts or when you come online here. I just wanna say I wish all the happy things in the world happen to you because you deserve it! Hopefully, we can have a proper thread or something some day ( besides the one where Akechi kills Akira because the idiot called him ‘Light Yagami’).

@kitsunekatana !! I love your Yusuke so much! With him drawing memes like the crepe for Ann and that other thing that resembles Mara. Those really made me laugh and also that crack thread with him complaining that no one bought him dinner. Keep up the good work! Love seeing you on my dash everyday. Hopefully Yusuke will be fed properly. That boy needs to eat something and not his paint brush.

@pillcger0ftwilight Hey look! It’s Akira buddy, his persona Arsene! Wow, Akira is intense but your Arsene is even more since he likes to bug the cat dad at his home. Even Akira shakes his head at that. Also. them getting into trouble sometimes is hilarious and cute at the same time. But don’t call them cute. The two get really defensive about that issue, even when one of them calls the other that. But they are best friends, which I love. Always enjoy seeing you on my dash. Yay persona!

@lcvesicken Wiz! I miss you so badly but I know life gets in the way. Including, time zones, am I right? But I love all of your muses dearly. But the way my muse messed up and know have Ayano being interested in him is really funny. Not to my muse but he’s going into space to live so it’s all good. Hope to see you again someday.

@entreve / @trickstre P! Like omg. I cry at the perfection that you portray with these two boys ( and also your Nocty, Jun, and others ). I mean, the headcanons are so detailed, the crack posts are pure genius and the OOC stuff is good too! You’re one of my favorite Akira(s), you just don’t know how much I like seeing you and the son on my dash everyday. I really hope everything in your life is always happy and safe. Thanks for sticking around with me and the meme son.

@flaracr I love your Loki! He’s so interesting. Nothing like I would imagine but that is why I like it so much! I’d thought he would be more like the media type but you put a unique spin on the legendary trickster. I like seeing you on my dash everyday and hope we can interact one day.

@queenxfjustice Kate! OMG, the hilarious things we both come up with. With Makoto getting called ‘beep boop’ and Akira naming their hypothetical child Makoto 2.0! But just him being a meme and her trying to deal with that everyday. But I guess someone has to keep him from messing with the masses. haha.

@mcsketeer hey! love to see you around. your haru makes my muse blush like crazy every time you appear on the dash. Hopefully, he won’t be as shy as he has been and might watch scary movies with her some day.

@wildsuit I’ve always been a fan of Tiger & Bunny ever since it came out in 2011. To see your Kotetsu is such a joy to behold. I don’t know how many times I’ve see you on my dash and it makes so happy to see the fandom represented. Maybe some day I’ll come back to the rp side. I used to rp as Yuri/Lunatic actually. haha. surprising right? keep up the great job!

@shushc When I first got followed by you, I was amazed. Even more amazed when I saw how much dedication you put into Shido. He’s a hard character to get right most of the time but with you, it feels like a breeze. I love how mean he is to everyone and that’s what I like about Shido. He’s supposed to be like that. Glad to see you on my dash!

@lunefated Gosh mya! I’ve known you ever since I made this blog and I do not regret ever following you because your are own of the best original characters from the persona 5 community to ever exist! I love your Natsuki so much! Even the times she’s been in the palace(s) ruining the thieves plan. xD

@bopnty Ya know? I’ve never liked CB that much. I watched an episode back when I was in high school but didn’t think too much about it. It was the one where everyone ate the bad food in the fridge or something. Anywho, never picked it up again until your version of Spike came up on my dash. Now I wanna watch the whole series just because of how good you are rping Spike. Keep doing what you are doing because you are rocking it.

@geimaa Your Chiaki is so adorable but also hilarious when she tries to take Hajime down when he calls her short. I can really tell the details you put into her character. Enjoy seeing you on my dash everyday. Love to see what else you make her do that’s hilarious.

@loptri Hey Thoria! Thanks for being a great friend and having my back. I suppose we should make a contest on how many blogs we both make since we do sure have a lot. But we both do a great job portraying all of ours muses. So here’s a shout out to you for being awesome and an awesome Goro ( Akira, Ann, Berkut , and your OC too) ! :D

@whipsmacked You’re new but omg, I love everything you do! I’m a big fan even though I am so slow on replies. it’s so fresh what you do with Ann and it shows how good you are at rping as her. here’s to many more shenanigans.

-

And to everyone else, thank you!

@consumedwithcontempt @ultimctepoet @theholylight @trashcanarcana @kunaiflourish @thecafeleblanc @chxntpleure @nonludum @gaywiththewind @calystegiaidol @mystxryious @shadowsboxer @ayatsurii @millenniumpharaoh @crossxskulled @orakl @artsgasm @preciousyellowidiot @kaitouyusuke @nee-chan-maya @chariodyne @inviai @locksfate @zentokugyaru @severepiratecrown @yuizakami @yamiisha @cardcaptis @ultimategreasemonkey @nagifool @desolisms @tricange @checkeredscarfs @j0kester @desclateblue @uila @aturxox & @divinesight

And to the rest of my followers! THANK YOU TOO!

Under Control (Part 19 of Faking It)

And the kinks continue! Enjoy!

Read Faking It, Just Breathe, Sex Hair and Blindfolds, Cold as Ice, Rough Around the Edges, Sticky Sweet, Slow Burn, Adult Film 101, Date Night, Hell on Heels,  The More, The Merrier, Even More, Even Merrier,  Hunter’s Aftercare, and Under Arrest, Flexibility, MeltingAnger Management, and Tight Spot.

Warning: SMUTTY SMUT, dom!Dean

Word Count: 3150

A/N: 19 parts? Seriously? Y’all are the best for sticking with me this long.

Keep reading

4

23 Years Old!?

Hi friends! Soo, today was my birthday. I turned 23 today, but let me tell you, I feel a lot older haha. Raising two little ones surely will put some grey in your hair. 

Honestly, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of today and just wanted to spend it with my family around the house. My wish was granted by the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. We lounged around all day, played outside, and took a nap together. It was perfect. 

The one thing I did want for my birthday was some more pictures of us as a family to put in my scrapbook, and as you can see I got those. I’m hoping to do an actual professional photo shoot later on, maybe when the kids get a little older. For now, some home photos are just perfect. Ron did surprise me with breakfast in bed and a beautiful necklace, even tho I said no gifts. 

All in all, it’s been the best birthday I’ve ever had. Until next time, ciao! 

16 Days of Outlander - Day #1 Sassenach

So excited to have an excuse to rewatch Season 1 all the way through (I realized that I’ve watched the first eight episodes way more times than the second eight, despite the fact that I only watched the first eight for the first time the day before the second half of Season 1 started airing). 

Fair warning: I’ve been trying my hand at screen caps to go with the posts for this 16 Days of Outlander. 

Anyway, onto my favorites for 01x01 Sassenach.

Favorite performance: Caitriona Balfe. From the beginning of the episode through the end, she has so much to do to carry and establish the story and not just for the episode, but for the series. What gets me every time is the scene below when she learns the war is over. Everyone else is celebrating and while I wouldn’t say she’s disappointed - she’s far too compassionate for that - she does immediately look lost. Having just come from that horrible leg injury, there’s clearly still work to be done but when her friend tells her “it’s over” I can’t help feeling that there’s a little bit of Claire that feels like her usefulness is already slipping away. To convey such depth right off the bat in the episode floors me every time. 

Favorite Claire and Frank Moment: Jumping on the bed. There are little glimpses of the marriage Claire and Frank used to have (few and far between, though they may be) but those glimpses show enough of what they’re both trying/hoping so hard to recapture - namely the levity they felt before five years of war - that I can’t help loving this little moment. It’s clearly going to take work if they are going to have any chance of succeeding - I mean, immediately after getting into their room, Frank just takes out a book and starts reading. It shows a little better the balance/dynamic they once had. Claire helping Frank not to be too serious all the time; Frank helping rein in some of Claire’s wilder tendencies. It isn’t as great a balance as she will have with Jamie but it probably worked better for Claire and Frank before the war changed them so much as individuals.

Favorite Location: Reverend Wakefield’s library/study. I mean just look at it! That fireplace, that window, how open and light it is. I would love to have a room like that to work and play in - it’s got plenty of room for both. Totally personal taste on my part but just… love it, want it, don’t care that we hardly spend any time there this episode (and can’t wait till we get another look at it later).

Favorite Minor Character: Mrs. Graham. In working on my Jamie through the stones fic, I’ve gotten very attached to Mrs. Graham as a character. I also love Claire’s surprise when she realizes that Mrs. Graham is one of the “druids” dancing at Craigh na Dun. She’s just one of those characters I really wish we could have more time with in the series as a whole. 

Favorite Scene, Favorite Book-to-Screen Adaptation Moment: Frank’s encounter with Jamie’s ghost. One scene, two favorites. This is the scene I go back to and rewatch over and over and over. The lighting, the perspective, the sound mixing/editing… I just love everything about this scene. And it’s a scene I’ve enjoyed analyzing so much in the book. That you can see Frank watching Jamie watching Claire: Frank’s attention on Jamie and the fact that he is watching his [Frank’s] wife; Jamie’s complete absorption in watching Claire fighting with the curls he loves to much. The haunting way he just vanishes when Frank turns and the lightning illuminating Frank briefly before all the power in the square goes out just emphasizes the significance of that moment so subtly and so well.

Favorite Costume: Claire’s night gown. I’m not a huge fan of the 1940′s costumes - I find the 18th century costumes more impressive but we don’t see too many of them this episode. This costume is also one of the most “traditionally” feminine costumes Claire wears. A lot of her 1940′s dresses have sleek lines but this flows and billows. 

Favorite Music Moment: Claire gets shot at (Fallen Through Time on Volume 1 of the Outlander Soundtrack). I am addicted to television and film scores and the music for Outlander is definitely up there on my list of all time favorites (seriously, at least a third of my iPod is instrumentals from soundtracks - about 2 days worth of music). The transition in this scene as Claire stumbles around the woods trying to figure out what just happened to being shot at by the Red Coats is perfected by the shift in the music from quiet and innocuous to loud and raucous (courtesy of some amazing bagpipes and drums/bodhran). 

Favorite Jamie and Claire Moment: Cocknammon Rock. It’s after they’ve been riding for a while - Claire has already fixed his shoulder which has earned her a few points with Jamie - and when she mentions the Red Coats’ preference for Cocknammon Rock as an ambush point, Jamie doesn’t hesitate to believe and trust her word. He alerts Dougal immediately and when Dougal basically asks, “are you sure?” Jamie takes one look and Claire and asserts, “yeah, he’s sure.” Then Dougal gives the order and Jamie promptly dumps Claire off the horse and breaks free of the belt she used to bind his arm to his side. 

Favorite Line, Favorite “This wasn’t in the book” Part: “On your horse soldier.” Another two-fer. I love this line that wasn’t in the book, so much so, it’s my favorite in the episode. Seeing Claire in action at the beginning of the episode when the war ended balances nicely with this line (and scene of her healing in action) at the end. They’re scenes when her mask/facade drops completely - no polite smiles or wary/guarded looks, just Claire at her most competent. The scene passes from Claire cursing at Jamie in frustration through the more somber and serious hint from Jamie about just how dangerous BJR is and ending it with this more light-hearted, mildly affectionate, but respectful note adds to the understanding that has begun to develop between Jamie and Claire. 

Favorite Performance Honorable Mention: Sam Heughan. Claire may not be consciously aware of Jamie’s feelings for her for a while but his falling for her occurs hard and fast - both on the page and on the screen. The ability to capture in that one glance what I tend to think of as Jamie’s enlightenment about his feelings, could not have been easy but there it is, broadcast for all to see. Jamie is entirely hers in that single moment by the roadside as she curses him for being too stubborn to admit he was hurt and needed help (basically, Jamie in a nutshell). 

Dear Mom iii.

[A little note: Sometimes all the stress that Freshman leaves me with comes out in the form of a letter. This is one of those times. For those of you like myself, maybe it’ll give you some sort of peace too. Here’s another one of those Dear Moms that you wish MC could say to her mother face-to-face.]


Dear Mom,

Two weeks have passed by. I hadn’t realized it until I checked my calendar this morning. I think it’s because a lot of these days are beginning to blur together. Sometimes it feels like a day overstretches and lingers, then before I know it’s the middle of the week. Sometimes, I’m left wondering where the rest of the time went. It’s the worst it’s ever been. I’m having trouble sleeping. I can’t focus. I can’t write. There’s an insistent ticking in my head. I’m behind but I barely can lift a finger to write. It’s all too much. “This is narrative gold!” That’s what Professor Vasquez’s probably say if he could see me, chastise me. I’d kick myself for ever thinking he’d give me some sort of sympathy. I’d roll my eyes and yell at him. And then he’d kick me out of his office. Rinse and repeat. It’s the only cycle I miss. I know I talk about him a lot mom and don’t get me wrong - you have nothing to be jealous of. No one can replace how much you mean to me. You’re my mom. I know you and dad did your best. It’s just that he’s helped shape this version of me. The adult me. I’m not the same girl I used to be before Hartfeld.

Chris tried to apologize for not coming to Kaitlyn’s concert. It’s a start but it’s not much. He doesn’t realize how much his words hurt me. He apologizes without any real meaning. It feels like he’s just saying it to - well say it. He doesn’t realize how much everything hurts. Ugh, just writing about it frustrates me. I want to lash out at him because it just isn’t enough. Not this time. Apologies are a good start but nothing’ll ever change if we don’t make the effort to. And right now, it feels pretty one-sided. I know he’s doing something important Mom, something special - something worth remembering when we’ve all moved on from this place. I know it, our suitemates know it - Hartfeld knows it. But who exactly is Christopher Powell? I don’t think even he knows the answer to that anymore. He’s doing something important. That’s what I keep telling myself, that’s what I keep saying to convince myself that I shouldn’t be so angry. I’m fed up with the state we’re in and I usually try to hide behind a smile or some misplaced joke just to ease some of the tension, but It doesn’t work all the time. I know being supportive is what he needs right now - but these days it barely feels like I know him.

Kaitlyn and I are on a break. Our friendship’s hit the pause button. She’s really mad at me and I’m really mad at her. It’s like the concert just proved how far apart we are. I never wanted to admit it to myself, but I couldn’t shy away from it when she threw those ugly words at me. She said I never supported her - like I thought the Gutter Kittens wasn’t worth my time. Well I think I did - I think I’m always the only one trying. She’s upset that I brought Zig along to her concert, her big break. And get this Mom, she even says I sabotaged the whole thing - made it sound like we purposely ruined her night. She says it’s because I can’t stand her having new friends. My hand shakes at the thought but she’s not entirely wrong. I don’t like them. I really tried to the first few times, but I just don’t. They bring out the worse in her. Me? Hurt her? I would never - not if I can help it anyway. That’s not the kind of friend I am. She means a lot more to me than that. And despite what she thinks - I’ve tried being there, being a shoulder for her - a listener. But I can’t justify her friendship with them any longer - I’m convinced they’re a bad influence. I’m convinced they’re trying to drive a wedge between us because she’s not the Kaitlyn I made a pact with at the beginning of freshman year. I know I’ve mentioned it, except I can’t let go. I can’t let go of the old Kaitlyn, because I miss her so damn much. Why can’t we just go back? Why can’t we just pretend these last few months never happened?She says she needs her own space, she says she has to figure herself out -  whatever that means. She says she we need a break. It all sounds like a giant excuse to me. An excuse to push everyone away, to push me away. I don’t want to leave her alone; I feel like that’s the worst thing I can do as her best friend. A lot of darkness can creep up on you when you’re alone. But I also don’t want to keep pushing. I don’t want to push and push until there’s nothing left. Now that I’m writing how I feel and I’m not as angry anymore, maybe I am too involved in her life. Too involved in everyone else’s. I know how much you liked her mom, and I used to talk about her all the time but maybe this break will do us both some good.

I’ve mentioned Zig in passing before Mom, and the night at that concert wasn’t the beginning of our friendship. Oh boy, Mom. You used to warn me in high school to stay away from people like him. The people that follow their own crowd, that has a chip on their shoulder because it feels like they’ve got something to prove. You’ve always insisted that they bring trouble, that they’re fun until they’re no longer fun. But there’s just something about him. I can’t put my finger on it, and I’m not sure if I entirely understand it myself - but there’s something there. He’s been good for me. Sometimes we hang out in his car with our legs propped up on the dashboard, listening to music. Sometimes he just listens. Sometimes we go by that bar he likes so much and play pool till it’s really late. We flirt but it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s easier to just be friends. He’s almost perfect except when his temper flares up at the most unexpected times. It’s the most frustrating thing about him. I don’t know how to handle it and it baffles me how much it changes him. Truth is; it scares me a little - I don’t handle people flying off the handle well and I don’t condone violence. It’s another layer of him I don’t really understand. I want to, but it’s just that there’s so much going on right now. All I want to do is go back to when we just sat around in his car and talk.

I spent the weekend by James. Surprise, surprise. I know I didn’t mention it before but it just kind of happened. I just packed up some stuff and left. I flew to meet James in California and after the crappy week I had I figured I deserved it. Don’t worry, I didn’t spend a lot of money. James bought the tickets for me weeks ago, and they were non-refundable. Besides, I needed to get away. James told me he’d be there when I needed him to, to help me make sense of everything. And it started off the way it was supposed to - a good weekend, until it wasn’t anymore. We toured the set of his movie and I even got to see some of my favorite actors from the Crown and the Flame, and Most Wanted. It’s weird because I ship them so much in their tv shows and seeing them be regular people…..It’s like realizing for the first time that they aren’t who they are on camera. They’re real people that like hot yoga classes and can’t go off set without their favorite drinks. It’s just a little sad seeing your idols become real people right in front of you. After we left the set, James and I spent the rest of it lounging at the beach. Finding things that we thought we’d never find. We chatted about silly things for awhile and some of it felt like the way it used to; simple and easy. It was a nice change of pace from being in Hartfeld and worrying about everyone else. We caught up in each other’s lives. I told him about what’s been going on. I told him how much I miss him. He told me how different Hollywood is from what he expected. He told me he enjoys it except the smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he does. I’m really worried that Hollywood isn’t good for him. The play he’s worked his entire life around isn’t the same play that’s being turned into a movie. I see so little of him in it, and so much of the blitz and glamour of Hollywood. He confessed to me he still misses Professor Vasquez and I admitted to missing him too. It’s hard not to when he’s had such a huge impact in our lives. Those were some good moments and I wish I could say it got better once we headed back to his room. It didn’t. One word ruined it, or better yet a singular person. Yasmin. She’s the woman that’s supposed to lift his career off the ground in Hollywood except it feels like she’s holding him back. She’s chaining him to what she thinks is better and erasing the James I remember. It starts off with the little things until they become something bigger. She’s manipulative and I don’t think her feelings for him are real. But try telling James that - he wants this thing to work out so badly that he doesn’t see how destructive she is. I’m worried that it’ll be too late when he does. He’s so caught up in this movie deal that he’s blind to everything else. Hollywood tries to hide all its ugly with all the things it offers to you. But from the bits I’ve seen; the glimpses of the ugly - terrifies me, and I don’t want James to end up like that. But how can I help him when he doesn’t think he needs any help? 

Becca and I had a serious heart-to-heart this week. I know - it surprised me too. But when all my friends let me down - she was there. We sat around and complained about life while gulping down shots of liquor. With every shot it got easier to talk to each other, to laugh even at the the most tragic things. I saw a side of her that I never thought she had. It’s honestly the most fun I’ve had in weeks. I stayed at her sorority that night and shared a room with her. I told her about my crumbling friendships and she told me about her parents divorce. There was no liquor to drown out our sorrows this time, and all I could do was listen. She listened to me too. We’re supposed to hate each other, but suddenly I can’t remember why. That night we were just two friends having a sleepover. Two girls just talking about the crappiest week they’ve had. Did we really grow up that much in one semester?  

Abbie and Tyler are still going steady in case you’re wondering. I still can’t believe out of all this - they’re still the only good thing. To be honest, it baffles me at this point that they can keep it so together when the rest of us are struggling to. I guess that’s what happens when you can rely on someone and pour your heart out to them. I’m jealous and happy for them all at the same time.I can’t help it. When I see them being all romantic and sweet to each other, I feel guilty because of how envious I am. I want what they have, but I don’t think I’ll ever find it here.

And Zack is still Zack, not as mopey anymore because of how much he skypes with Brandon. But there’s still moments when I see it, the sadness in his eyes - the loneliness. I can understand those feelings like they’re my own. I never thought I’d feel like that, be more depressed than he is. But when I’m home I feel it clawing at me, trying to get in. I have my walls but they’re crumbling and I’m afraid that soon there’ll be nothing left. Suddenly, he’s the one watching over me, keeping tabs and forcing me to do things. He makes up some lame excuses to go to our favorite cafe, and sometimes he’s adamant to venture out to Hartfeld’s local cinema and watch a movie. I roll my eyes in the moment but when I think about it now - he’s really the only thing that’s keeping me sane.

I was wrong Mom. I was so very wrong. I thought I could fix things, I thought could mend everyone back together. I thought the invisible ties between us could withstand everything - all the drama, all the ups and downs. Hell, I thought we could go back to the way we used to be. But these past weeks proved to me that we can’t. We can’t go back to the way things were. Things change, and they always change whether we want them to or not. 

Yours truly,

X

A Year of Not Being Bitter About Last Year

You are twenty years old next week. Your loneliness is the cigarette you suck until the cancer hits.

You are nearly twenty and have never dated.

You are nearly twenty and vodka fills the cavity in your tired chest. Wine patches every bullet hole in bare skin. Whiskey preserves your crumbling bones until you can wrap them in gauze.

You are nearly twenty and forget shit if you don’t write it down within ten seconds.

You’ll wonder why the fuck you don’t etch things into your bones immediately.

You love astrology even though you don’t fully understand it. You just want to love something other than your aching wrists.

You need to make yourself interesting somehow.

You brag about training for a 5K “for your health” but, really, you wonder if someone will love you if there is less of you.

You need to make yourself interesting somehow.

It seems like birds can’t stop crying for you this summer. Maybe they’re alone too.

Because all the other birds are paired up and doing lovebird things together while these birds are at home on a Saturday night crying into their cereal bowl.

Or maybe that’s just you.

You think you want to be a bird. How convenient it is to fly away from every awkward situation that makes your overly emotional self want to run out of the restaurant screaming.

How convenient it is to run when things get heavy.

You wonder if that’s the real reason you’re training for a 5K.

One unrequited love announced her engagement this year. Another watched her brother marry, got to wear a dress she hates but celebrate with a girl she loves.

You wonder if fairytales are just for other people. If you are constantly destined to watch them play out from a distance.

You wish for wings and start to grow feathers. You wish to fly but cannot stay off the ground.

I wish I could fly out of love
as fast as I fall into it.

Last year, my goal was to love unapologetically. This year, my goal is the stop apologizing
for those who do not love me back.

Acknowledge Part 2

Summary: A continuation to “Acknowledge”. Louise and the rest of the office workers wonder when Dan and their boss’ relationship is going to become official. Contains pastel!Dan + rich and successful Phil.

Read part 1 HERE


“Good morning,” Louise greeted Dan on the Friday of his third week at Lester Global Inc. He was wearing a cute button up lavender colored shirt with sleeves that reached his mid elbow, accompanied with another pair of white skinny jeans. The flower crown that sat atop his head was a combination of pink and white flowers, looking absolutely beautiful. Louise shook her head and set her things on the desk.

“You just get cuter everyday. I think that’s my favorite crown so far.”

“Thanks, Mr. Lester got it for me.” Dan informed her, cheeks flushing as he instinctively felt for the crown.

Keep reading

This is my first story and I hope you enjoy it. Feedback will be appreciated. 

“You know you’re not even a choice when they keep coming to you for relationship advice.” for Julian Brandt. 

Word count: 1,583


“He’s so into you” (y/n) rolled her eyes at the naive words of her best friend while taking a sip of her milkshake.

“You know, I really wouldn’t like to make him the topic of our conversation. We came to have breakfast and forget remember? Not to talk about my issues.” (y/n) stated with irritation in her voice. 

“I don’t know why you think it’s such a big issue! He likes you, you like him. It’s not that complicated.“ 

“He’s seeing someone else!” Her voice raised unintentionally. “He doesn’t like me and it’s never gonna happen.” (y/n) could feel her heart ache as she spoke the words out loud. 

“What if he’s seeing someone else? Look at me and Armando. He was dating my cousin before me and now we’re engaged!”  

(Y/N) shook her head while managing to keep a straight face “You know you’re not even a choice when they keep coming to you for relationship advice.” She managed to hold in the tears threatening to fall. “He cares about her, and if he’s happy I’ll be okay.”


     She wanted to be unaffected. Wanted her feelings for him to fade and to feel okay again. Sadly all she could do was pretend. It wasn’t easy, mainly when he was so happy and (y/n) couldn’t exactly ignore the situation. If it had been anyone else things would’ve been as simple as deleting a contact and cutting communication, but it was Julian. The boy she’d known for years. The one who was there for her during lonely nights and made part of some of her best memories. “How the hell could I let him go?” She thought. 

     The buzzing of (y/n)’s phone against the dining table managed to derail her thoughts for the first time since the morning. She gravitated from the sofa to the kitchen just in time to see a message notification before the screen went black. With a bit of hesitance, she unlocked her phone to see two messages from Julian. Her heart fluttered a bit. ‘He’s just your friend (y/n)! Calm down.’ She took a deep breath trying to calm her rushing thoughts before opening the messages.

  "Hey (y/n)“"Can I come over?”

‘How convenient’ She thought as she read the two short texts. She stared at the texts before quickly replying. 

“Of course :)”  

There’s no way she’ll get over him like this. She couldn’t ignore him and loved having him around. He was one of her closest friend after all. 

“Okay I’ll be there soon and I’m bringing Nala.”

At least there would be a cute dog to calm her nerves. 


(Y/N) took a deep breath as she opened the door for Julian. Almost instantly, Nala was circling around her legs. Julian tried to carry multiple plastic bags while simultaneously holding onto his dogs leash. 

“Here let me help you Jule.” (y/n) reached for two bag and carried them to the nearest table before releasing Nala from her leash. “What did you bring anyways?”

“Chinese. Figured you’ll like some. And more food just because.” He smiled while pulling her into a hug. “I’ll go get drinks, you chose a movie to watch.”

They were sitting on the couch halfway through The Pursuit of Happiness when Julian’s phone started blowing up with messages. After a couple of minutes of nonstop messages and two ignored phone calls he turned of his phone and refocused on the movie. 

“Everything okay?” (y/n) asked genuinely worried something happened.  

He turned his head and smiled while casually throwing his arm around her shoulders. “Everything is fine.”

She continued watching the movie and petting the golden dog laying on her lap. Still, she remained curious of what just happened. 


After starting the second movie,  (y/n) felt her eyes start to close on their own. Julian smiled when he noticed the tired girl trying to stay awake, but to no avail. Last thing (y/n) felt was Julian hugging her closer to his body before she fell asleep. 

(Y/N) woke up laying on Julian’s chest. His arms wrapped around her body protectively as his hand ran through her messy hair. She didn’t want to move. It all felt so perfect. And so she didn’t. (Y/N) remained comfortably in his embrace dreaming of what could be. That was until he began to place soft kisses on her forehead. No matter how much she wanted him she couldn’t let this happen. (Y/N) began to stir, pretending she had barely woken up. 

“Hey sleepy head,” Julian mocked as she lifted her head from his chest. “Did you sleep well?” His voice was gentle and calm. 

“Yeah I did. How long was I out for?” She remained sitting next to Julian as he stretched out his arms. Once again placing an arm around her. 

“Almost two hours I think.” He pulled her closer. His body was warm and (y/n) refrained from leaning into the toned muscles she felt through the thin long sleeve he wore. (Y/N)’s head rushed with a thousand thoughts, but remained quiet next to Julian. “You okay?” Julian asked after a couple minutes of silence. But how could she tell him? How could she tell her best friend that she wasn’t okay because he was happy with someone else?

“Yeah I’m alright.” She turned to Julian with a deceitful smile. Unfortunately for her, Julian saw right through her. 

“You’re lying.” He pulled her into his lap and gently grabbed her hand. “What’s wrong (y/n)?” Her heart started beating faster out of fear of getting caught, but Julian’s warm hand lightly rubbing her own calmed her down enough to look him in the eyes. 

“Nothings wrong,” she placed her free hand on his cheek trying to mask her lie “you’re overthinking Jules." 

"I hope I am.” Julian felt his cheeks warm up with her proximity. He couldn’t seem to stop staring into the eyes he loved so much. (Y/N)’s hand remained in place feeling the light stubble scattered around his rosy cheek. She felt her heart skip a beat when Julian locked their fingers together. Her eyes broke away from his crystal clear ones and looked down at their intertwined hands. She smiled slightly at the sight. (Y/N) looked up to see Julian closer than before. It took him just a second to close the distance between them and press his soft lips to hers. She took a moment to process the situation before kissing him back. Julian smiled into the kiss before pressing his lips harder against hers and pulling her closer by the waist. (Y/N)’s hands cupped Julian’s face before melting into his arms and letting her fingers run through his blond hair. They broke away panting with slightly swollen lips. (Y/N)’s guilt-ridden look contrasted with Julian’s bright smile, causing his features to twist in confusion. 

“Hey hey what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” He asked while carefully placing (y/n)’s hair behind her ears. She just shook her head and began to tear up. 

“This is wrong Julian. We can’t do this." 

"Why can’t we do this love?" 

"Because you’re with someone else!" 

"But you kissed back!” Tears began to stream down her face as reality hit her. Julian pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck. He let her cry into his shoulder while he rubbed her back comfortably. He waited for her cries to simmer before talking again. “I ended things with her.” He whispered into her neck. “I wished I never started anything in the first place.” She listened to his words before lifting her head off his shoulder and looking him in the eyes again.  

“You really did?” Her hopeful eyes gave Julian the courage to pour every single word he had been holding in. 

“You remember all those text and calls I got earlier?” She nodded encouraging him to continue. “Of course I broke up with her. She was never the one I wanted. You on the other hand, you’re everything I wish for. Everything and more baby. Hell, she didn’t even care enough to know the team I played for. ” (y/n) giggled at the rushing words he spoke. 

She pushed his soft curls away from his face. “Then why did you even bother to go out with her?" 

"Because I was scared to be with you. My future is so uncertain and I can’t bare to hurt you by moving away. I know that’s still a possibility, but the longer I try to stay away from you the longer I’ll be unhappy. I tried to go out with the first girl I could to forget you, but you’re just impossible to get rid of aren’t you?” She laughed at his last comment while pressing her forehead against his. 

“Well I’m glad you’re choosing to be happy Brandt.” She whispered against his lips. 

“Me too baby.”  She pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss. Julian’s hand wondered down until it rest on her lower back while the other caressed her cheek. (Y/N) lightly bit his lower lip causing a low moan to escape his lips. They kissed for minutes until she pulled away in need for air. Julian laughed at her fast breathing causing (y/n) to slap his chest. Once again she laid against his body, but this time with a smile on her face. Julian kissed her temple before breaking the peaceful silence. “Besides, you’re the only girl Nala likes so my options are narrow here.” She hit his chest again while laughing at her lovers words.

elatekitty  asked:

I got some new dialogue to pop up while I was in the elevator on chapter 3! I'm guessing the dialogue is randomized in the elevator. I can't remember the whole sequence and I wished I had recorded, but "Alice" mentions that she remembers when people remembered her name. After a bit more talking, she then says: "Dreams come true, Susie. Dreams come true."

Oh wow!  I might have to play through the chapter one more time – I’d like to get those last four achievements I seem to have missed.