wish i could tell you the source sorry

From Your One and Only - Bucky Barnes

request:  Hey doll! Since valentines Day is coming up could you do a love letter from Bucky to the reader??? Thanks ❤️❤️❤️ - @winters–doll

summary: The heart can only hold so much emotion before it breaks. Bucky decides he can’t hold his emotions in any longer and writes to you while he’s away on a mission. (really crappy summary, sorry!) 

characters: bucky barnes / reader 


To the one who holds my heart, I owe you this.

I’m in Albania right now, and I’m sorry that’s all I can tell you. I know you understand that I can’t say more, so I’ll just say that the snow is falling like it does at home. The windows are covered and the heater is jammed (just like at home haha). It’s freezing but don’t worry; we have other heat sources. I will not be cold, doll, I promise. We are all in tack, no one is injured or sick. I’ll be home in seven days, I can promise you that much right now. I wish I could say how much I miss you but we have a limited amount of paper supply and I’m already using up the last of Wanda’s journal paper to write to you.

       This letter will reach you on the 14th if all goes right. I will be home in seven days. I love you girl, I love you with all the fiber of my being. It’s been awhile, doll, and I can’t make up for those weeks you opened your mailbox to just be met with a black hole of nothingness. I hope, beg, pray, that you will forgive me. It just wasn’t safe… and to put you in peril, would destroy me more than being stabbed in the chest. You are my heart, my love. You are the drum that beats in my chest. My drum beats faster than the clock’s movements in seconds. It’s so hard to breathe normally when I watch you fall asleep on the couch or see you walk in the house after a day out in the city. It’s like the relief of seeing your eyes all shining and bright finally returns to my body, and I can relax. But the wind in my chest has caught itself in my throat. You make my breath disappear in my lungs when I can smell your shampoo right after your showers. The way you dance in the kitchen to different bands you’ve introduced me to as our years together have gone by. I love the way you have no worries on your face, but they lay right behind your eyes, so tightly sealed, darling. I can see the fear you try to hide when I have to leave for missions that sound probably sound like death sentences to you.

I can’t let my past define me, and you can’t let your fears define you. My past is my fear. 

        One day it comes back and I do something so regrettable and so unforgivable. It would kill me to see you leave in fear. In fear of me. Please know that these missions and these tests I have to do with Steve at Stark Tower; they are all for you. 

Because I want you, I want you forever. Because you are it. You are the one thing I ask for in this life I’ve been given a second chance at. 

You tell me in the mornings before you leave for work, in the middle of the day when I get to hear your voice through the phone, and then when you get home, how much you love me. And I can’t count a number of times we whisper it in each other’s ear, while we lay together in our bed. I can only ask you to love me for what I am.  I can’t change the past, and I can not predict the future for myself. I can only hope.

       You can never do anything that would make me love you any less. Because my love is finite for you, doll. It always has been, but like you’ve always said, men take longer to realize the truths about love and life. It took me only 70 years to finally realize that you will always be right. Because you always speak from your heart. It’s the one honest thing that the earth has ever created. 

The heart tells you what you believe in, what you want, what you love.

And I love you.

I’m scared, doll. I’m sorry to end on such a bad note, but I know you’ll want to know what I’m feeling. I’m scared right now, I’m terrified that I’ll be taken again, even though I fully aware that I have more strength than twenty of HYDRA’s men combined. It’s okay to be scared, though. Right? Even a super soldier can be scared. I may be scared but the knowledge that you are waiting in Brooklyn, with a cup of tea for me and cookies that I know you are making nonstop right now because the little fighter in your belly is kicking like mad.

     You’re so brave, sweetheart. So brave to let me love you. So brave to let your husband go off and fight the evil of the world, while you carry around the most precious thing in the world. I will be home. I’ll be home to be with you two after this. This is the last mission. I swear to you, when I come home, I will not leave our apartment. Just with the exception of getting food for us and diapers for the baby. 

We’ll live as one family. No craziness, no fighting, just peaceful love. 

I wish I could write more but it’s time to go and finish what we’ve started here.

With all my heart, I love you.

- Your James


a/n: I hope this was good for you, @winters–doll ! Remember, you can always message me if this wasn’t what you wished for and I can rearrange it or write another one :). I love you all so much, thank you for reading my stories! <3         - R .x

Keep reading

lavenderheljardottir  asked:

I know this is probably an irritating question but, could you give me a few of those sources about Easter not being a pagan holiday? I wish to give them to a friend off tumblr, a Christian, because I was telling her about how the old "the holidays are all pagan" is false, and I got her very curious. I attempted to look for them on your tumblr but am failing miserably. Sorry if this is aggravating.

apologies for getting to this so late! here’s a compilation of potential arguments that may arise and can be combated with Abrahamic knowledge and information:

  1.  ”Easter is based on Ishtar! The names are pronounced the same!”: here’s a pronunciation of the word “Ishtar”. they do not sound the same, they are not based off one another.
  2. “Ishtar’s symbols are eggs and bunnies, which means they’re based on fertility!” According to Gods, Demons, and Symbols of Ancient Mesopotamia: An Illustrated Dictionary by Jeremy Black and Anthony Green, her symbols are lions and the eight pointed star. while she is associated with fertility, she is not associated with eggs or bunnies.
  3. “Where do the eggs come from, then? what do they have to do with Christ?” a lot, actually. eggs have multiple meanings. Here is information on the boiled egg on the Passover Seder Plate. Here is the story of Mary and the Red Egg, which gives us information on why those eggs may be painted. Here is another collection of stories that involve eggs regarding the resurrection.
  4. “Where do the bunnies come from, then? what do they have to do with Christ?” the symbol of the Three Hares shows up frequently within Abrahamic religion. each religion has a different interpretation, but Christianity in particular associates the hares with the Virgin Mary, as it was believed hares could produce young without losing their virginity. (click through to “What does this symbol mean?”)
  5. “Easter and Ostara are the same thing!” Easter and Ostara will never be on the same time. Ostara is always on the Spring Equinox, while Easter is always the Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.
  6. “Why would Easter be based on a Lunar Calendar? That’s not how Christianity works!” However, that is how Judaism works, and the holiday is invariably tied with the timing of Passover.
  7. “Easter HAS to be pagan though! what other holiday could it be based on?” Passover. The time of Jesus’ resurrection took place during the end of Passover. this is shown by virtually all other places in the world having Easter referred to by some variation of the word Pesach, which is Passover. Packsha, Pacshal, Pasqua, and Pasden are all examples of other names of Easter in other countries.
  8. But here, it’s called Easter, like the Goddess Eostre!” Is is referred to as some variation of Easter in two countries, Germany and America. Eostre was originally the name of the entire month of April in Germany, and the only citation we have of Eostre existing is a monk in the eighth century who wrote that a festival happened during this month in its name. and that is literally all of the information on said “goddess”. it is actually contested whether or not she even existed.

Let me know if there’s anything else you need me to cover!

Everything Will Be Alright Kit Walker x Reader

Words: 2,939

Description: You and Kit are married and this is the story of how this whole situation where Kit is placed in Briarcliff. This story was created without the whole alien thing. Please let me know if you want me to make a part two! Enjoy!

          It was the year 1964 and my whole world was crashing down. Kit, my wonderful husband, was being charged for the ‘Bloody Face’ murders. I couldn’t believe this, what evidence did they have? Today is when they take him and I can’t handle it. I love him more than anything. 

TWO DAYS BEFORE

           Kit was out working and I was getting the table set up for dinner. I was exceptionally happy and decided to dress up and clean some stuff so Kit didn’t worry about it. It was a good ten minutes before I saw truck headlights shine through the windows. You didn’t know who it was so you were a little agitated and decided to look through the blinds. To your relief it was Kit. You were as happy as you can be, now knowing that your sweetheart was home safely. You heard the car door slam and so you decided to start placing the silverware and the napkins down. You heard Kit’s key jingle and started to chuckle when you heard him dropping his keys and letting out a whisper of a curse word. You decided to look in the mirror on the wall to adjust everything and then opened the door. When you opened the door you saw Kit looking through the screen door. 

Originally posted by lord-bat-jesus

 He looked up and smiled at you. You looked at him and said 

“Would you like to come in or should I go get my husband to escort you off the property?”

“Oh, I’m sorry this must be the wrong house but I don’t think so because I was supposed to meet a really hot babe and you look like you fit the criteria.” He said playfully.

“Oh, really I do huh?” You said encouraging him.

“Oh yeah! I think you actually broke the system of hotness. Wait you said you had a husband? Oh yeah, I don’t really do the whole sharing thing so I think I’ll just leave. Have a good night,” he leaned in closer and said, “and tell me when your husband is gone then I’ll come on by.” He winked and slowly started to walk away but before he could escape you came rushing out and grabbed his arm. To your surprise he grabbed your wrist and twirled you around bringing you close. Since he so quickly displayed this form of affection you stumbled and to keep you up right, you put your hands on his chest. 

“KIt! Just come in already I miss you like crazy all day and I need you to come inside now!”

“Okay, Mrs. Walker but what do I get in return?”

“You get a hot pipping plate of (Your Favorite Food and Side Dish) for dinner!”

“Ooh yum! I’ll be in real quick I just got to lock the truck up.”

“Okay, just don’t keep me waiting or I’ll start eating without you.”

Off you went to place the food on the plates. Kit came in a few seconds later after you got the food on the plate and pulled out your chair, man what a gentleman! 

“Why thank you sir!”

“No problem.” After you scooted your chair in you realized that he hadn’t gone away from the side of you.

“Kit what are you do–.” You were cut off by Kit kissing you and taking your breath away, like always. It was a short but passionate kiss because when we needed to breathe he realized that food had still been untouched and he rushed to the other side of you and plopped down.

“So honey how was your day? I want to know all the details!” Kit took a deep breathe in and gazed deep into your eyes. You could tell that he was immediately saddened by it and you smile turned into a frown.

“Well sweetheart there was this family that came in to refill their gas tank and you know they have these two little cute kids playing in the back and as I was finishing filling his tank I said ‘That’ll be three dollars even.’ and the man says ‘30 cents a gallon. You think because you’re out here in the toolies you can gouge people?’ I was just amazed that this guy would assume that I would rig it so it meant more money that I earned and more money he lost. I mean I know I shouldn’t get worked up but it just bothered me.” You reach over the table and grab his hand rubbing your thumb around the back of his hand. “You know I politley tell him ‘I don’t set the prices sir.’ because I don’t our government does. Then he asks ‘The kids get a coloring book?’ and I respond ‘Yeah, that’d be Texaco.’ then the wife says that she just wants to go home. Then the next thing that he did which ticked me off was that he just threw the three dollars out the window! I was so mad because you would think that he would have more respect for me considering its nine o’clock at night where I should be here with you!”

“Aww Kit, I am so sorry you had a bad night. I wish I could erase that from your mind.”

“Well you could,”Kit got up from his chair and approached you and took your hand, “if you come and dance with me.”

“I think that is a marvelous idea. Just let me get this mess cleaned up and then I’ll turn on the radio and we will dance.” 

“Noo. Leave those dishes for later, lets dance now.” Kit took both of your hands and started to walk backwards to the big open space in our living room. He pulled me close to him and put his hands on my waist and I put mine around his neck. He brought us closer together and started to kiss me. We broke apart and just looked into each others eyes swaying sharing a kiss inbetween. 

    It was a good thirty minutes of us just swaying. We stopped dancingn when I yawned and Kit picked me up bridal style and walked over to our shared bedroom and dropped me on the bed. He crawled on top of em and started kissing me.

“Kit not tonight I am way to tired.”

“Okay you just stay here while I go clean up the mess on the dinner table.”

“Okay, I love you so very much.” You put your hand behind his neck and he leaned his head closer to you and shared a very passionate kiss. 

“I love you too.” Kit got off of me and pulled the covers over me. When he was done ‘tucking me in’ he walked away and shut of the lights giving me a wink. I slowly fell asleep. If I had known what would of happened the next day even sooner I would have spent the whole night staying up and talking with Kit. 

ONE DAY BEFORE

        It all came too soon for you even to adjust to this news. You wake up with someone pounding on the door and Kit unravels from you and gets pants on to open the door.

“Stay here (Y/N)!” Kit whispers harshly. I do what he asks not wanting him to get mad. I still get up and quietly go to the door frame of our room to see who is pounding on the door. 

“COMING!” Kit yells. He opens the door and is met with four police officers staring at him. The next thing that happens is too quick. They kindly asked if he was Kit Walker and of course Kit says yes, the next thing I see is Kit on the ground with two police officers on top of him, restraining him. I quickly grab my robe and rush over to where Kit is.

“What is going on?” You ask the police officers.

“What’s going on is that Kit Walker has been charged with four counts of murder of four different woman.”

“WHAT?!? I am sorry sir but I believe you have the wrong man! I know my husband and I know he could never kill somebody!”

“I am sorry m’am but maybe you don’t know your husband as well as you thought.”

“I know my husband well enough to know he wouldn’t do something like this! Officers I am telling you have the wrong man, Kit is innocent. Anyways, what evidence do you have?!”

“We have several sources saying he was seen carrying dead bodies from his work site at the gas station.”

“And by whom may I ask said these obviously false things about my husband?!”

“M’am I am sorry but they wish to be kept anonymous during this investigation.” I was completley shocked and bewildered. I backed up and leaned on the kitchen counter to keep stabled. All the emotions just came spilling out and before I knew it I was sobbing like crazy, my head in my hands. I looked up when I started to hear Kit get up and rushed over to me before the officers could take him down again. He held me tight, kept me warm and kept me safe for the time being. I eventually stopped crying and looked into his eyes. I got on my tippy toes and kissed him for as long as I could. The officers pulled him away from me and I started crying even more knowing that he could possibly get the chair. They carried him out to the police car and I followed them fighting the other officers to get away from him. When they got him into the back of the police car, the police officer who I spoke to earlier approached me.

“What is going to happen to him?” I softly say because my voice is hoarse from so much crying. 

“We are going to take him to court and they will decide if he gets the chair or if he is crazy and take to Briarcliff Manor.” Just thinking about him getting the chair makes me cry even louder and harder. I ask them if I could have a moment with my husband alone and they said I could. I crawled into the back of the police car and shut the police door so I would definitley know I had privacy. I hugged him and he just leaned in considering he was in cuffs. I slowly pulled away and whispered in his ears what the police officer told me about what was going to happen to him.

“You need to convince the jury that you are crazy so that you don’t get the chair. You need to guarentee that you will be placed in Briarcliff.” I said.

“I don’t know if I can. I can’t fake crazy it’s just too hard.”

“Baby, you need to do it say you saw aliens trying to take you away from me, convince them that you saw aliens. Please, for me.”

“I’ll do it just for you.” I grabbed his face and pulled him in and our lips touching. It wasn’t long until after the police tapped on the glass and said “Time’s up.” I unraveled myself from his arms and slowly got out of the car. I just had enough time to roll down the backseat window so I could say goodbye to him. The police officers got into the car and started the car.

“Goodbye baby! I love you so very much!” I said with all my emotions comming out and me sobbing.

“Goodbye sweetheart! I love you too!” Kit said blowing me a kiss. The police officer rolled up the window and I just collapsed, falling to the dirt ground and my body shaking with sobs. I saw the car slowly drive off down the driveway and Kit looking back at me mouthing ‘Its going to be okay.’ I looked down and countinued to sob more. I finally got the stamina to get up and walk inside. The day went on of just me looking through our scrapbooks and me crying. It was around midnight when I decided to go to sleep so I took one of Kit’s shirt and put it on. I pulled the shirt closer to me and taking in the smell of his cologne. I cried myself to sleep and had the worst night of my life.

PRESENT

          I woke up at nine in the morning and got a glass of coffee and sat at the table gloomingly looking out the window. An hour had passed and a knock at the door startled me. It was the mailman and he gave me a telegram saying that Kit’s court was happening today at noon and that a police car was coming to escort me at eleven. I looked at the clock and it was ten o’clock. I walked over to the bathroom and got ready. In fourty minutes I was all ready to go to his court. Fifteen minutes passed by and the doorbell rang. I got up from the couch and walked to the door opening it up to the police man who came to escort me to the hearing. He opened the car door and I climbed in. I didn’t speak the whole ride, I just looked out the window. The police officer opened my door and escorted me inside where I could talk with Kit for twenty minutes before this whole thing happened. 

           The officer brought me to a room and said that I could go right in and said that Kit is in their with two police officers but they will later leave once you are situated. I walked in and saw Kit sitting in a chair in a straight jacket with a cut on his lip. He looked up surprised to see me.

Originally posted by ipaper-planes

I ran over to him and engulfed him into a hug. He did his best to try to hug me considering he was in a straight jacket. The two officers left leaving me and Kit alone.

“They told me that there is no recording so you can say whatever you want.” Kit said.

“Okay. Kit please do what I told you yesterday. I don’t want you on that electric chair and me sitting behing a glass window doing nothing to stop you from escaping. I love you very much and I want to grow old with you! I don’t want you to be killed by something you didn’t do!”

“I know baby! I want that too so much! I don’t want to die and I don’t want you to see me like that. I love you too!” I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. I just held him until the officers said it was time for his hearing. I whispered in his ear the plan about the aliens before they took me away from him.

They took me to my sit which was in the front row so I could see everything. It was a good five minutes before they brought Kit in a wheelchair. They placed him in a seat at a table. His lawyer was present and knew what to do to ensure that Kit wouldn’t get the chair. The judge took Kit and talked to him and asked him to tell us his story and he did, playing the crazy card perfectly. He shaked, twitched his eye and leaned back and forth during the whole hearing. 

      It was now time to hear Kit’s sentence and I prayed that it was to be enrolled at Briarcliff. 

“Now the case about Kit Walker and whether he should get the chair or be placed at Briarcliff has been decided and the jury decides that Mr. Kit Walker is criminally insane and that he should be immediatley placed into Briarcliff where he will be seen by a physicatrist and then he will give us the final verdict.” The judge declared.

I was so happy that he wouldn’t get the chair and that I could try and get him out of Briarcliff. I started to cry because Kit would still have to be away and in that horrible place. The officers escorted me down to him where he was placed in a van and driven to Briarcliff. They told me that I could be driven and see him be placed there and I said yes. 

     We arrived at Briarcliff and I ran out of the car and ran to the officers who were pulling Kit out.

They pulled me away from him and I watched them taking him in and he stared at me and mouthed ‘I love you.’

“KIT I’M GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!!! I PROMISE! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!” I screamed as they held me tight. 

After Kit was emitted into the asylum a lady who’s name was Lana Winters came over to me and started to ask me questions.

“When did you know Kit was crazy? Were scared that he could kill you? Why do you think he did this?” All this questions being thrown at me made me mad, espically because they thought everything was true.

“My Kit isn’t crazy, I was never scared because he didn’t commit these murders, and finally he didn’t do this because if he did I would be dead too. Those are my answers to your questions now please leave me be, I just lost my husband.”

I walked to the car and they drove me home. I don’t know what the next year will have in store for me but I know that it will suck without him.

anonymous asked:

I'm really mad at God, really, really mad. I'm reading Romans and the way Paul writes is making it even worse. I can't understand him. I feel like throwing my bible against a wall. I thought reading my bible would help ease my anger but it's not, it's only making it worse. Anything related to God is ticking me off right now.

Hi dear, I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way, I really am. I wish I knew what the source of your anger was, so I could pray more directly, but I think in times like these, the best thing to do is to get it all out. Tell God that you’re angry at Him, tell Him how you’re feeling, kick and scream and get it all out. He sees you, He’s listening, He understands. 

Romans can be a bit upfront to read, because Paul is a very direct writer. But the thing about God’s Word is that we have to take all of it. The bits we love, the bits we hate, the bits we struggle with, the bits we want to ignore, the bits that make us mad. All of it. God will be revealed to us by His Word and sometimes you’ll find something that questions your very foundations, but it’s all in the way to make God Your foundation. 

I’d recommend reading the Gospels (to see just who Jesus is), 1 John (to understand God’s love) and Hosea (to see the example of how God loves us even when we leave Him). 

Start there, see what you think. It’s okay to be angry at God. Be angry at Him. But don’t stop seeking Him. Don’t allow your anger to feed you.

I’m praying.

xx - c 

Midnight Phonecalls

“Hello?” You mumble into the phone.
“Hi.”
“Aaron?”
“Yea it’s me.” He sounds so sad, and tired.
“What time is it?”
“Your time? Probably around five am. For me, it’s three.”
“Are you okay?” You ask sitting up and leaning against the headboard.
“Uh, yea.” He pauses and you hear him sigh. “Will you just talk to me?” He’s never told you what the nightmares are about but if you had to guess it was probably something to do with his job, specifically everything that happened with Haley and Jack.
“Jack and I went to the zoo today. He’s doing a project about Sting Rays so I called my friend Janet to see if we could get a tour. She let Jack feed them and he got to do an interview with her. He already put a thank you in the mail and she said he was a total delight. You would have been so proud. The puppy is getting fixed on Tuesday, which I feel bad because it’s going to hurt but we don’t want puppies. She didn’t have any accidents in her kennel today which was wonderful.” You shift and slip out of bed, heading for the balcony in your and Aaron’s room. “I miss you. I had a rough day at work, some of the kids are not thrilled about having to be inside so they were pretty hyper. I’m glad it was Friday.” This isn’t the first time you’ve done this for him. The air is cool but the night is clear and being in the suburbs allows you to see some of the stars, more than when you lived in DC.
“I should be home tomorrow.”
“That will be nice. You sound upset Aaron. Is everything okay?” He doesn’t say anything, you just hear his soft shaky breaths. “Just the nightmares?”
“Yea.”
“Oh Aaron I’m so sorry.” You comfort, “I wish there was more I could do.”
“You’re helping so much more than you know.”
“Do you want me to keep talking?”
“If you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. I’m working on teaching Zig sit. She just gets so excited that she gets it right then immediately forgets what she’s done right.” You chuckle softly, adding Ziggy was not only a security thing but a wonderful source of stories for when Aaron has nightmares. “We’re going to keep working on it. Jack got an A on his science test but when he tells you pretend like you don’t know.”
“I’m glad he has you in his life. You’re so good to him.”
“I’m glad he’s in my life. I don’t know what I would have done without either of you.”
“Thank god I came upon the scene then huh.” He muses lightly but it still sort of freaks you out. What could have happened if Aaron hadn’t shown up when he did. The man dragging you into the alley, one hand over your mouth the other in your shirt. You’d tried to fight him off, had tried to scream but he’d told you he had a knife, when you kept fighting he’d sliced your arm with it. Aaron had seen enough, and his instincts had taken over, he’d come running into the alley gun up and looking pissed. He’d arrested the man, called for backup and held you as you’d sobbed into his shoulder. You’d never felt so dirty or helpless in your life. Thankfully the cops hadn’t victim blamed you, something that was horrifyingly common.
“Seriously. I still have nightmares about it.” You admit, he’s not the only one.
“I didn’t know that.”
“I know. I was lucky, all he did was cut my arm, it could have been so much worse. It’s nothing compared to what you deal with on a weekly basis so I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.”
“Sweetheart. I love you. If you’re scared, or you need to call me and have me talk to you until you can sleep please tell me.”
“When you’re home it’s fine. I just curl up next to you. When you’re not home I’ll grab a tshirt and sleep in that. But they’re rare.”
“Still. Don’t feel bad for calling.”
“I hope you don’t feel bad for calling.”
“I do. But I know that you’re the one thing that can calm me down, help me relax enough to sleep again.”
“Don’t ever feel bad. If you asked me to fly to wherever you were so you could sleep I would.”
“I know. It’s one of the many reasons I love you.” His voice sounds thick with sleep.
“Why don’t you go to sleep?”
“Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep?”
“Of course.” You curl up on the bed then talk to him about nothing. Five minutes later you hear a soft snore, and smile into the phone. “I love you Aaron Hotchner.” You whisper before you hang up and fall asleep.

I’m Sorry

Genre: Angst, Slight Fluff, oneshot

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader

Word count: 2,070

Summary: The loyalty of a best friend is amazing.

Originally posted by hugtae


It’s not what you think.

That’s what they say in the movies and the books.

‘It’s not what you think’ and ‘let me explain’ and you had always hated that.The stupid ‘I’m the victim here’ act. You hated it and you always would.

At least, that’s what you thought.

But now that wasn’t the case.

The ‘It’s not what you think’ and the ‘let me explain’ excuses were all you wanted in this case.

It meant that they at least still cared.

Cared enough to make up something. Cared enough to try and ease the pain, but no.

All you got was an “I’m sorry.”

No excuse. No explanation. Just a sorry.

That meant he didn’t care enough, didn’t like you enough.

Not like you loved him.

It’s like those two words were actually saying ‘This is what you think’ and ‘I don’t want to explain’.

The ‘This isn’t what you think’ and the ‘Let me explain’ were all you wished you had gotten now.

Because who knew an apology could hurt so bad.

And it hurt like hell.

Keep reading

Whisper’s In The Dark

Author’s Note: Part 3 of If You Only Knew, as requested. It had a lot of Wanda in it. Like a LOT, lot.

Part 1 - If You Only Knew

Part 2 - What Am I Thinking?

Word Count: 1725


 (Y/N) was awaken by a loud knock on her door. She opened her sleepy eyes and leaned on his elbows to look at the clock. 2 am. God, who might be knocking on her door at that damn time? She would kill her father if it was him asking for something again. But the sight she has when she opened the door, ready to yell at someone had made her completely speechless.

 - Wanda? – The girl in front of her seemed distraught, her eyes watery, her hair messy, arms in crossed in front of her chest clutching her clothes tightly and breathing heavily. - Is there something wrong?

 - I a… I had a nightmare. I’m sorry, I… I didn’t knew where to go, I’ll just go back to my room. – The girl made an attempt to live but (Y/N) caught her by the arm before she could runaway making the Maximoff girl look at her.

 - Hey, you came to me for a reason. Why don’t we come in and you tell me about your nightmare? – The Stark girl asked although she was already leading the other girl into her room. – Ok, sit down and take a breath. Do you want a glass of water? – Wanda shook her head.

 - No, thank you. I already feel like I’m giving you unnecessary trouble. – Her breath seemed steadier when (Y/N) sat with her on the bed.

 - That’s what friends are for. - She said taking Wanda’s hands in hers making the other girl stare at her with wide eyes.

 - Thank you. I usually go to Pietro but… - The witch paused mid sentence thinking what to say. She could always lie, even when (Y/N) would figure she was doing and just pretending not to know. Telling the truth seemed so difficult when just the thought made her embarrassed. But what for? She wasn’t doing anything wrong. – He’s occupied. – Another pause. The sokovian girl looked distant staring at the wall. (Y/N) was about to say something when the girl spoke again. – With some random girl.

 (Y/N) had heard people talking about it on the corridors, she couldn’t deny it. That was how things worked in the tower and, she could guess, in any other place in the world. However discreet you are somebody would always see something and the other day the corridors would be filled with gossip and even when you avoided it was impossible to not hear one thing or another. So the fact that Pietro was kind of a ladies’ man didn’t catch her by surprise nor did the fact that he brought girls to the tower, despite the fact that this kind of visitation were prohibited.

 - Oh, I see. – Wanda looked at (Y/N) confused.

 - You didn’t seem surprised. – They looked at each other, silent for a second.

 - Can’t say I was. The walls have ears, and here at the tower they have a lot of eyes and mouths to. – The stark girl confessed. – You don’t seem to approve of it. Am I wrong?

 - I never did and never will. Neither here or back in Sokovia. – The girl sounded a little jealous, Pietro was her twin brother after all. To (Y/N) it was nothing new, she got used with that feeling along the years living with Tony and knew exactly what Wanda was feeling.

 - Yeah, I know the feeling. – Wanda looked at her confused before (Y/N) explained what she meant. - My father used to be exactly like this. – The two of them stayed quiet for some time before (Y/N) talked again. – Want to talk about it? – Wanda thought for a moment.

 - No, not really. – She took a deep breath. – I guess I just wanted some company.

 - Then company you will have. – (Y/N) said smiling at the girl. She took a moment to think while she looked at the bed. – You can sleep her tonight if you want. – She offered making Wanda titles her head. – I bet you don’t want to be alone tonight, and I wouldn’t mind some company myself.

 - Yeah, I would like that. – Wanda said after some time of thinking and biting her bottom lip. The two girls got under the covers and keep looking at the ceiling, silence filling the room. Neither of them talked for a really long time, so long that (Y/N) thought that Wanda might have fell asleep, but when she looked to the side she was meet by the hazel eyes of the sokovian girl staring right at her.

 - I can’t read your mind. – She stated after a few minutes. – I don’t know if somebody already had told you that.

 - Natasha commented on it. You know why? – The girl arched a brow. - I mean, why you can’t read my mind.

 - No. It never happened before, except with Ultron, but he wasn’t a person, so it doesn’t really counts. – Suddenly a flash of memory passed before (Y/N)’s eyes making her squirm. She felt the cold metal contrasting with the fire burning within her skin, the restraints preventing her to move and the liquid coming from the needle burning in her veins.

 - (Y/N)? (Y/N)? Is everything okay? – Wanda had sat on the bed, a hand resting carefully in (Y/N)’s shoulders when she came back to herself.

 - Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay. – The witch noticed something glowing in the other girl’s throat, as if she had some kind of light inside of her, something that looked like fire. But she kept this to herself wondering if it had nothing to do with the fact that she couldn’t read (Y/N)’s mind. – Just hã… Some bad memories.

 Natasha and Clint pretended not to see Wanda and (Y/N) leaving the last one’s room together in the morning after. The two of them were dressed with fresh clothes and laughing. The two spies exchanged a suspicious look. The two girls entered the kitchen and greeted the two spies sitting at the table to take breakfast. They seemed very in sync and neither of them had seemed Wanda looking that comfortable around someone who wasn’t her brother. The witch was all smiles to the iron girl. Sam joined them not much time after the girls arrived and the conversation between the group flowed without trouble.

 - Oh God, that was so embarrassing. – (Y/N) laughed at something that Clint had said about one of her first training sessions when somebody entered the room.

 - Oh. My. Good. You’re (Y/N) Stark! – Nobody seemed to have noticed the strange girl until she spoke. She looked to be about (Y/N)’s age but she was very smaller, a slim body, probably a ballerina or something like that, blonde hair falling over her shoulders looking kind messy, her green eyes were sparkling staring directly at (Y/N).

 - Guilty as charged. – The younger Stark joked. – And you are…?

 - She was with me. – Pietro appeared behind the girl looking annoyed and a little angry. Everybody stared at the girl and the newest avenger with a mix of disapproval and surprise, despite the fact that everybody had heard the rumors about Pietro. Wanda looked like she could kill her brother right here and now, a hint of red dancing in her irises. Natasha put on her poker face ignoring the couple by continuing to drink her coffee while Sam and Clint tried their best to keep a straight face in front of the awkward situation. The only person who didn’t lose the composure was (Y/N) who had a smirk on her face.

 - I asked who she was not who she was with. – Sam chocked on his coffee while Natasha and Clint smirked at each other. Wanda seemed too chocked to do anything besides smile a little. Pietro gave (Y/N) a death glare, nothing she wasn’t used to, but this time he seemed really scary. The Stark girl hold his gaze while the silence filled the space for some time.

 - Karen Harper. It’s an honor to meet you, I’m a great fan of you and your father. – Her cheeks were a bit red, probably after she realized the situation she was in, but the awe never leaved her eyes when she was looking at (Y/N).

 - Well, you already know who I am, but I’m honored you have us in such a high account. – Pietro seemed about to explode. Everybody seemed to kiss the ground (Y/N)’s walks on. Of course he wouldn’t be that lucky to have met a girl who didn’t liked the Stark girl.

 - You’ve earned it. I’ve read your article about the possibilities that nanorobotics can open to us, it was amazing.

 - Oh, thank you. Glad to know someone had read it. Why don’t you sit with us and have some coffee? – The blonde girl, Karen, wasn’t the only one who seemed surprised. Everybody in the room looked at (Y/N) to see a bright smile printed on her face. No one else could figured what was behind that not so innocent smile, but Natasha knew (Y/N) a little better than the others and she could read people very well to notice that the iron girl was playing a game.

 - Oh, no. Unfortunately I have another appointment.

 - That’s a shame. Maybe some other time. – (Y/N) offered giving the girl hope, although she still seemed a little disappointed with her own bad luck.

 - I really wish I could stay, but I’m already late…

 - Oh, I’m sorry. I’m holding you back. We’re fixing that. F.R.I.D.A.Y.?

 - Yes, Miss Stark. – The mechanical voice responded making Karen jump looking at the walls searching for the source of the voice.

 - Is Happy already here?

 - Yes, Miss. He arrived about five minutes ago.

 - Good, tell him to get ready for work. – The Stark girl looked at the blonde. – When you get down, ask for Happy Hogan at the reception, tell him I send you, he will take you wherever you want.

 - Oh, no, it’s not really necessary. I don’t want to bother.

 - No. I insist. – Karen thanked (Y/N) again before looking at Pietro and leaving. A glare that the sokovian boy totally ignored because he was to occupied staring at (Y/N). Natasha smiled to herself. That certainly wasn’t a game that (Y/N) intended to lose.

Sorry but this Emma:

(source)

And this other

(source)


Are just to different. One looks sincerily crushed because Killian said “I loved you. And sudenly she doesn’t gives a damm? 

Since last episode  I feels something is wrong, very off with Emma. At the dock talking with Regina she said “something is coming”, later to Killian “I wish I could (tell you)”. Like she is trying to advert them in a subtle way.

Like @killians-dimples maybe Emma somewhat is trying to trick the darkness inside her, so sometimes we see glimses of a more normal Emma. We needs to wait to see more details