wish i could do these in color

anonymous asked:

I wish people would ask you stuff other than just related to your fics bc like ? You seem so nice and chill? So like hi what’s up how’s your day going? Do you believe in ghosts? If your hair could be any color or style what would you do to it? Do you wear matching socks or mismatched socks? I wanna actually know fun stuff about you not just when you’re gonna update next

Well lol. My day’s been pretty good, I played some video games with my sister and that was about it. I think I believe in ghost but who knows. I used to be blonde and I kinda want to go back to that but It’s to much work and I’m not lazy. Usually matching but going back to the lazy thing, if I don’t feel like finding matching ones I have no problem going mismatched. I love all the kinds of asks I get but I don’t really get them asking about me to often so this was nice lol. But I also don’t know how interesting my life is and if people what to know about me. 

anonymous asked:

Your art doesn’t exist for others, it exists for you. Let yourself have time to experiment with other features and skin colors (esp skin colors bcs I’ve seen people try really hard but get backlash because it wasn’t super good). Yeah? SOME of your ocs have similar faces, but p much all of anime does too. Plus, one of my favorite things about your art is your hair and eyes. Your eyes have such nice lashes that I WISH I could draw. Keep doing what YOU want to, and don’t listen to others.

aa thank you;; you’re super nice… i appreciate the words of encouragement !!
 

6

Happy Pride Month! <3 Wanted to do something special for it with my kids!

deathless ♚ sentence meme
  • You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.
  • You are going to break your promise. I understand.
  • You’re lonely too.
  • It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.
  • I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.
  • I am your servant.
  • I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.
  • For you alone I will be weak.
  • I belong here, and you will not deny me.
  • I say these things, and the world listens.
  • I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.
  • In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.
  • I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.
  • I moved the earth and the water for you.
  • You will always run away with her.
  • You will always lose her.
  • You will always be a fool.
  • You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.
  • You have already done all of this and will do it again.
  • No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.
  • We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.
  • What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.
  • There need never be any rules between us.
  • Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.
  • Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.
  • I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.
  • Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.
  • I can’t abide a poor liar.
  • You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.
  • Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.
  • Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.
  • Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.
  • In his own country, Death can be kind.
  • What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?
  • Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.
  • I am no one; I am nothing.
  • Nothing in me was not made by you.
  • A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.
  • Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.
  • Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.
  • I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.
  • If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.
  • What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?
  • Don’t you dare speak to me like that.
  • I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.
  • I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.
  • I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.
  • I have learned to watch everything die.
  • I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.
  • Are we not devils?
  • No one is now what they were before the war.
  • I have not seen you without your skin on.
  • Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.
  • We obsess. It’s in our nature.
  • I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.
  • In war you must always choose sides.
  • If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.
  • We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.
  • My old bones will follow yours soon enough.
  • It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.
  • I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.
  • After love, no one is what they were before.
  • I have survived, but I have not been spared.
  • In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.
  • Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.
  • It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.
  • You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.
  • You will be so beautiful when you are old.
  • I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.
  • You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.
  • I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.
  • She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.
  • I still want to kiss you.
  • My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.
  • What happens to anything beautiful?
  • I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.
our little family pt.1 | park jimin

Pairing: Father! Jimin + Reader 

Genre: Fluff/Angst + parent au 

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: You were just a pre-school teacher, a simple dream that came true as you always adored children. But what you didn’t know, was how one child and her very special father would change you dream forever. 

“Jieun-ah, please.” Jimin sighed, as he tried putting her arms through the sleeves of her baby pink coat, which she shrugged back off again for the nth time making Jimin let out a soft groan of exasperation.

“Jieun-ah…” Jimin pleaded as he felt his patience go thin after a long tiring morning. 

“I don’t want to go to school daddy,” Jieun said softly, pouting as she looked at her dad with round eyes, the corners watering slightly before Jimin felt his resolve weaken at the sight of his little girl before him.

Sighing, he grabbed her hands and put on a large grin, “Jieun-ah, It’ll be fun!” he tried cheering, “Daddy had loved going to school all his life (what a lie) and really wished he could go again.”

“Then why don’t you come with me?” Jieun asked, tugging at the ends of her little pale blue sundress, the color contrasting strongly against her raven blank hair that tumbled around her shoulders in soft curls.

Cradling her face in his hands, her cheeks squishing up together making Jimin chuckle slightly, he said, “Daddy’s too old now, but if anything happens I’ll be there for you, alright? Do you wanna go now? I promise it’ll be great.”

“Pinky promise?” Jieun asked, holding out her pinky to Jimin’s face as he laughed a little, hooking her tiny pinky within his and bringing them together before pressing a small kiss to her hands, “I promise baby.”

“Hi guys!! Welcome! Hello!” you smiled happily as the kids walked one by one into your class, all their faces with expressions that varied, some happy, some mad, some scared and some with tears and snot dripping from their little noses.

Oh, children. 

“There you go Jieun-ah, I’ll pick you up in a couple hours okay?”

Keep reading

3

What happened with your father?
He was the guy that couldn’t walk away. The Ministry of Culture offered to finance…one more of his expeditions. But, the bandits raided his camp and, um…local authorities found him weeks later. This showed up in the mail a few weeks after we got to Australia, and this stupid thing is all I have left of him.
I’m sorry.
Oh, hey, he certainly made his choice.

10

it’s day 353. i had a bad day today. i don’t know. i…i guess i wish you were here. i mean, we all do. if you’re out there, just please give me a sign. mike. eleven?

List of “People Who Are Our or just My Inspirations”

Hmm…I can´t sending that much words into that much inboxs….time for tagging then and for text under these amazing people >:3

@ask-drunk-chara @artsyfeathersartsyblog @ari-angel-1193 @azraeltree @azy-arty @aude-javel @askunderswappaps @allesiathehedge @alainaprana @alcorner @axayt-thenightsoul-fox @axaeldraw @axellesanblog @abiubiuus @ania-da-peasant @anrez-op-skele @aniitaruiz @animekuma @anorha-nono @amachi-blaze @babyanimalgifs @bossmonsterbani @buttercupsticksntricks @beckyshecky @button-tale @buttonmemo9530 @bonetodraw @boyinthehat @bonesandblasters @bomberextreme @batter-sempai @barsom-fearce @byutak @byutak @cursetale @blesstale @cutepanda000 @comyet @calista-222 @caretaker-au @camilaart @chronictale @chloethecartooner @clover–toon @clacy2812 @cybertale-0 @deusn @delicatewizardstranger @dustyart @divagirl03-me @diya2003d @diesel-1997 @domino-doodles @blutheboo  @blue-violet153 @bluerose099 @doiduh @dazzysdailydoodles @dangletsjam @d-han @epicsans12 @electronthehusky @elamaniia @ella-elly-love @elchenco @eclipticart @emelynchoco @fermata-animation @fellbros @ferisae @feredir @franshaven @friisans @fuyuko-chan @furgemancs @foxyandsansask @faithtaleau @fatal-error-blog @floxy-offical @floxythefox @flouwytheredflower @flyingstar34 @flamefiends @geekygiirl @gemstoneblitz @gzstudio-official @gztale-comic @guardiantheskeleton @golzy @captainthane @gobikass @gollnar-studio @goldenbird223 @gabbeh @gastersans @glitterypeachy @hereiserikimgood @heavenlytale @hellohipstercookie @hushabyevalley @hiimtryingtounderfell @holloweentwinkie @han-doodles @hammie-heart @hakkids @ir-dr @icecreamsandwichcomics @ivory145 @inksansfan @intrepids-stuff @indieteenartist @indulgenceahoy @isaacthompsonus @imjustalazycat @jessitale @jennifer-lindberg @jesuka-arts @jenny-penny-art @jujus-junk @jumbletale @just–space @jokublog @jazzthetiger @janghongi @jakei95 @keru-the-green @kell0x @keeeroro12 @keksbela-art @keksbela @kuzukago-undertale @kustardlovin @kiyashie @kintsyart @kitty-sews @kinapie @kiacii @koyoriin @kartrina130 @kaweii @kakimochi0820 @kathaynesart @khalliys @kkunim @leoyee0w0mainblog @leoyee0u0 @ltolu @lueduartv-cartoons @lunarnix-ct @lucyfairy213 @lunaartgallery @lixthenala @licollisa @live4love136 @little-noko @linssins @lonely-void-flower @loverofpiggies @lazycb @lazyartz @lyoth737 @lynxgriffin @chomper-6735 @metamugiero @metakazkz @melle-d @memoryfell @messbyaccident @mrsbushlikestodraw @muside-trash-blog @munmathegreat @mus0330 @muskka @miele-turquiose @miikpahs @miyako47 @min-play @mikeinelart @moonia0 @moinstar @momoishy @mooncatyao @majikokoko @macotea @marksandrec @markiplier @mscheckacheck @msmadeleines @mk-alice @mystiquewisdom @mysteryskullsacademy @mykittysansy @mylcreates @myrobotlandlord @mckayla-sky @mnstrcndy @neofox67 @nebusoku3 @nendoroidoftheday @nextale @nekophy @ninathepink @nighttimepixels @nikomochi @nickelodeon @notch0607 @nochocolate @nagisaheichou @nyxshadowz @nyxtheshield @nyublackneko @nxsuper @nvart1 @oraclesaturn2 @oraclesaturn2 @oti-sama @othertale-blog @outertale @officaldaelight @octocookies @oceantale01 @pepamint709 @pet-sanses @perfectshadow06 @penneko @punnyskele-scientist @powaro810 @mangleschmidt @paintingit @papercranesnas @paint4234 @paurachan @pshattuckproduction @psicro @bunbun8815 @phototale @phantomrubies @phoenixmeeka @phaunicier @plundertale-au @quantumshow @quantumtale @rwbymotivation @redkammy @redworld96 @rensaven @rossdraws @rainbowlustdash @rahaf-wabas @rainbowchibbit @rahafwabas @squigglydigg @nasell @swthedragonarist16 @swapdancepapyrus @cocoeiyou @swappapyrus @sweetoothgirl @sevinss @semisolidmind @srpelo @starmallow03 @madhattey @stuffedart @starbotdubs @stimmystuffs @supershadicx250 @sushidragon @sukunu @superyoumna @suger-mellow-bear @silversans098 @siiversans @sinfulzany @silly-overwatch-stuff @simonsoys @sori4rt @soganooooo @sora-smallsky @sour-apple-studios @soupery @spookyswap @spacejacket @sansybones @shinydiamondblog @shimo25 @shojotale @sharaxofficial @sheldontinydino @sketchy-noodles @skydendrin @syuuya-g @symphysins @scribbleshadows @snuffysbox @smo1evi1chi1d @twoallnighters @twinklephoenix @tenibris-the-unseen-world @teenfriskangel-deactivated20171 @tempura-bean-jelly @tehrogue @teandstars @tidorito @toggy001 @totallycorrectmsaquotes @tokonbu @tobyradiationfox @tatsublood @the-ink-monster @thegrinningkitten @therealjacksepticeye @thenerdartkid @tmnt @uraniumfreak @nerdydoodler @ursik-l @urusinana @ursik-l-in-junk-mind @ut-storyshift @uyuni-piyo @z-artblog @underfellfangame @underchaser @underlineau @undertale @verlinktbeichris @very-kawaii @vzearia @vgyume @vjatoch @vjatoch @whelth @walkingmelonsaaa @wilyart @xtaleunderverse @xxk-22xx @xx-blazingespeon33-xx @xxbubblewitchxx @xxmileikaivanaxx @yesyooduck @yuki-akamura @yukinko888 @yugogeer12 @yotayotayyt @your-friendly-anon @yoralim @yamsgarden @yanderedev @zeroa5raven @zenooth @zenpencils @zombietigresscomics @zombie-frisk @zarla-s @zhamkadolls @zheyzhey-art @zheyzhey04 @zvirtale @weirdhusk-y-second @wildtaleau @wildstarfan @wolfwrathknight @wonszusart @wolf-wrathknight @warriorreshiram-blog @wavewolf @revaart @camilieroart @undertalepositivityproject @delicatelysaltybeliever @luke0maker @revolutions-stranger @cao-the-dreamer @askgoldengaming00 @thunderappledrawing @marookooart @marco95z @thefluffyslipper @thefloatingstone @anaarts121 @chomper-6735

For all these people I want to say “Thank you”. You all are inspirations for us or just for me, and when I say that ”you are” then I mean it. THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US, you all are awesome people who deserve so much love, I´m/we´re so glad to seeing you all, or some, on our dashes everyday. It´s almost another year and we´re still here together, please don´t give up for some people who don´t want to accept you, they don´t know what they´re doing anyway. My holidays will be horrible as always, and as some people were curious why, so I can tell you that I lost someone important of my family because of cancer and after that I was very lonely on these days when I couldn´t spend time with that person, with only one person, and I really hate gifts too of that fact that the best gift for me was spending time with that person and I never got anything else on this holidays, I don´t deserve that anyway and yea I know it´s for some people nice thing when someone gave you a gift but…*sniff*..give me a moment…………………..but I don´t mind on it anymore of that when I´ll see you all being happy and being at home..together, and that´s I think the best gift which you could get..when the family is together…. And I noticed that the cristmas will be in Sunday, and that´ll happen only every 20 years so this year is special for this day, and I´m wishing you all only the best..unlike me but that´s not important. And as always don´t forget that you´ll never be alone, there´s always someone for you who´ll try to help if you need it or if you need to talk, as me, I´m always open for you all, even if we don´t know each other and I´m not that good or cool as you wish/ed..but it´s okay, I´m used to. Even if I´m shy I really like to talk with some people, but I´ll get so nervous and then people will see me as an idiot who´s trying something, but I just want to talk to people like normal person do.. Nevermind, have a nice rest of day everyone ^^”

And I´m just a normal person who really likes to talk about the others or with the others, and trying my best with my work as with helping people, and wants to give them as much love as they deserve because you all are really amazing and really meaning a lot for me!!! QwQ

+ Please write into the comment or into the reblog your favorite color, it´s for something what I´m working on and I need to know this thing, so please do it and thank you. QuQ

October splatfest doodle ! Aaaa I love halloween !! Just something small i colored in, but i hope it looks alright ! :^D
I wish i could participate in the upcoming splatfest but, alas, i do not own a nintendo switch. Good Luck to all the participants ! Ink it up !!

8

this is meant to be presented as one big long image, but because i don’t have a do-you-love-the-color-of-the-sky kind of death wish, i had to chop it into pieces.

anyway, here’s the long awaited reveal of our data from the fallout survey project we did a few months back. over 2,000 of you contributed to this, so that’s pretty neat!
there are a couple errors and spacing issues my partner and i are too lazy to fix so. here you go.

Ouija - (H/M)

A/N; SOOOOOOO
This turned out A LOT longer than @dont-run-up and I first intended, but hopefully, everyone enjoys! Leave some comments letting us know what you thought of Incubus!Yoongi~~

Genre; Horror with that good S M UT 

Length; long af- 9,800+ words

Kink(s); A sprinkle of Master/Pet, impact play, oral (giving and receiving), creampie, light bondage, etc.

Originally posted by taes-nose-mole

12:00 a.m.
The time blared on your friend, Hee Young’s, phone screen. “Come on Y/n,” She jeered, keeping that eager grin and puppy-dog look in her eyes as she gently grasped your biceps, swaying you from side to side. “I wanna play! It’s just a game-” She added, pointing towards the newly purchased Ouija board that sat on your coffee table. Just the sight of it rushed a wave of uneasiness over you.

Shaking your head, your brows furrowed slightly, “I don’t know-” You replied, as anxiety laced your words. “My grandma always told me to steer clear of them, they could allow things into your home and life.”

“Oh my gosh, you don’t really believe all that nonsense, do you?” She asked, giggling through her words while she began to open the board’s box. Unlike you, she was a full-blown skeptic; she wasn’t a believer in anything paranormal, so Ouija was just a game to her and nothing more than that.

God did you wish you could dismiss it the way she could.
Though you had never personally experienced anything ghost-wise, you knew plenty of people that had. “Ahh I do, but..” You began, sighing as you decided to give in despite your better judgment, “But I guess we can play, just for a little, at least.”

Heeyoung excitedly clapped while smiling like a dork as she lifted the onyx and pearl colored board and planchette out. “Don’t worry,” She sweetly said, recognizing the nervous expression that painted your face as she placed it onto the glass. “It’s just a game.”

Keep reading

HDHDJD,RNN Why is this boy so attractive help.

~~~~~

It must be the coffee. (submitted by @xxrosethornexx)

💖 Nail Polish Ritual 💅

Here’s a simple, versatile ritual that I do weekly…my favorite ways to practice witchcraft involve incorporating magic into the mundane, and this is a great example of that! 

You can charge your polish with any intent – some examples are glamours (such as beauty or confidence), luck, focus/concentration (great for exams or finals week!), protection, energy, or simply for enhancing your own magical power!

🌹 Start by using nail polish remover, and visualize that as the old polish is wiped away, so is the accumulated negativity and stress from the previous week. (If you don’t have any nail polish on a substitute could simply be washing your hands clean!) I like to charge my nail polish remover beforehand with crystals that have cleansing and purifying properties, such as clear quartz, amethyst, selenite, and celestine.

🌹Next, choose the color of nail polish you wish, and charge it with your desired intent. There are many ways to do this – usually, my preferred method is simply to charge the bottle with crystals matching my intent. If you have the time and patience, drawing sigils underneath your polish is another great way to channel energy. And of course, you could use color correspondences, just like you would with candles! Use the correspondences that work best for you, but here’s a basic list of some of my personal color associations!

  • Pink: Love, Beauty
  • Red: Confidence, Strength
  • Orange: Energy, Success 
  • Yellow: Focus, Positivity
  • Green: Luck, Prosperity
  • Blue: Wisdom, Peace
  • Purple: Inspiration, Psychic Ability
  • Black: Protection, Banishing
  • Gray: Calm, Stability
  • White: Clarity, Purification

🌹While waiting for my polish to dry, I’ll take a few minutes to meditate. I’ll put on a calming Spotify playlist, light a candle, and just take a moment to clear my mind and focus on my breathing. (It goes without saying, but of course use common sense and don’t let your candle get too close to flammable nail polish/remover!) 

🌹After your nail polish has dried, finish with a top coat to “seal” the intent and help it last longer. Again, you can enhance the polish’s strength and protection properties by charging the bottle with crystals such as tiger’s eye, hematite, or black onyx (yes, I know, I use my crystals for just about everything…)

*As a side note, I know there are several posts about nail polish magic floating around, so please know that I am not trying to claim that the entire concept is an original idea – this is just my personal ritual! 💖

7

So I don’t have the lingo down yet, but at least I have the attitude.

You do, huh?

Oh yeah. When I was getting a locker for my backpack at the bus stop, there was this guy and he was just standing there staring at me and instead of ignoring him…

Howlin’ For You - 5/?

Description: When Y/N gets an unreal deal on her first home, she wonders why her neighbor scared away all the other buyers. Despite being cautious, she doesn’t fully understand what gave Bucky Barnes such a bad name.

Pairing: AU - Biker!Bucky x Fem/Reader

Word Count: 4,305

Part Four


Y/N quickly broke her slumber with the ache in her chest. The doctors said it would be hard to sleep for awhile. The slightest movement or deep breath caused a jolt of pain. Her eyes remained closed, but squeezed tightly from the discomfort.

When she finally managed to even her breathing, her body seemed to sense another body in her room. Her mother and sister had already exhausted her with their visit earlier. Y/N wasn’t ready to deal with them so soon. So, keeping her eyes closed, she listened to be sure it was them.

However the breathing was different and then she caught his scent. It was the same smell that had lingered on his leather jacket.

Y/N instantly went into a battle of deciding whether or not she wanted to continue faking her sleep or actually face him.

Her heart won the battle, for her eyes flickered open. She was able to watch him for a moment since he wasn’t looking up. Instead, Bucky was leaning forward in the chair, with his forearms resting on his knees. His hands were clasped together. Y/N noted that most of his knuckles were bruised and split. There were even a flew splotches of of blood staining the skin.

Bucky was wearing a black t-shirt with the short sleeves messily rolled up.

Once again, Y/N was caught off guard by the sleeve of tattoos on his left arm that he rarely exposed. She hadn’t been this close before. It made her see that the flesh was different; there was something off. It took her a moment to realize it was because the skin was burnt. The tattoos were hiding the scarring all up his arm.

“What are you doing here?” Her raspy voice surprised even her.

Bucky’s head shot up. “Hi!” He accidentally blurted out. Then he awkwardly got up from the seat next to her bed. He looked around and wiped his hands on his pants. For as large and tall as he was, Y/N had never seen him as anything other than graceful… until now.

“I…I…” He ran his hands through his shaggy hair. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ll leave you alone now.”

It was obvious from his body language that the last thing he wanted to do was leave her.

Y/N watched him with her brow furrowed. A part of her wanted to let him go.

“Bucky?” She interrupted quietly, mostly because her voice and ribs wouldn’t allow her to talk any louder.

He froze.

“You can stay.” She stated. “On one condition: you answer all of my questions.”

Bucky’s entire body relaxed. Then he nodded and slowly made his way back to the seat next to her bed. “That seems fair.”

But Y/N watched him wearily. There was no playfulness to her expression or voice now. She didn’t trust him anymore.

Bucky took in a deep breath and leaned forward. “Can I just say something first?”

She watched him for a moment before finally nodding.

“I can only imagine what you thought when you saw Dot at my house.” He cleared his throat. “But I just…I just need you to know that nothing happened between me and her. Before you came over, she drove to my house completely wasted. I wouldn’t let her go home until she sobered up. She was wearing my clothes because she got sick and threw up all over her dress.” He tried to gage her reaction after giving his explanation. “Do you believe me?”

Y/N kept her expression passive. “Why does it matter if I believe you?”

Bucky’s face dropped. “Please don’t do that…”

“Don’t do what?”

“Push me away.”

Y/N scoffed at that. “Isn’t that your job?”

Bucky shook his head firmly. “That’s not what I was doing.”

“Then what were you doing, Bucky? Because I can’t seem to follow anymore. One second your giving me these looks that no man ever has and then the next you act like I don’t exist.”

Bucky knew exactly what she was talking about. “The night at the bar…I didn’t expect you to be there. As soon as I saw you, all I wanted to do was talk to you. But my life has made me enemies. I was trying to leave you out of it. I thought I was keeping you safe. Clearly that did nothing.” Then he gestured angrily at her body. “I mean look at you! You could’ve fucking died! And it only happened because you’re associated with me!”

“I shouldn’t have been out by myself. Like you said, this town gets dangerous…especially at night.”

Bucky glared at her. “Y/N, none of this is your fault. Rumlow did this because he knows I care about you.”

She ignored his comment. “How did you get into a biker gang?”

“Huh?”

Y/N stared him down. “You never explained how you and Steve went from the military to a biker gang. I said you could stay if you answered all my questions. So answer.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smirk a little at her stubbornness. “The motorcycles were always a part of our friendship. We’ve been breaking them down and building them since we were in middle school. The gang part didn’t happen until later…”

“You’re not doing a really great job of explaining this.” Y/N pointed out rudely.

Bucky chuckled at that. “Yeah, doll? Well, it’s not like it happened overnight.” He took a deep breath and ruffled his hair. “We had our friends and we became a family. Sometimes bad things happen to your family. Like Steve’s dad beating him and his mom. Or Wanda’s twin brother getting hit by a drunk driver. Or my sister falling in love with a man, who mentally and emotionally abused her.”

Y/N’s cold demeanor broke.

But Bucky continued. “The law doesn’t always protect the people you love. The police are never there when you need them. Judges let guilty people go free and imprison innocent ones. So we started doing what we had to in order to save the people we love.”

“We threatened Steve’s father, scared him so badly that he left town and never came back. We hunted down the drunk driver that killed Wanda’s brother. He ran out of state lines, so we caught him ourselves and handed him over to the police, just a step away from death.”

Y/N looked down at her hands in her lap. “And your sister?”

Bucky frowned. “I figured it out before it was too late. I was going to kill him, had a knife to his throat. But my sister was crying her eyes out, begging for me not to. I’ve never heard her so desperate. I knew she wasn’t in the right state of mind. But I couldn’t do it after listening to her like that.”

He took in a deep breath. “Soon people caught wind of what we’d been doing. Strangers in town ask us for favors…to do things that law enforcement ignores. Then the town catches rumors, people just hear what they want to hear and assume the rest. Overnight, my friends and I, who just happen to ride motorcycles, start getting called a biker gang. Eventually you become the thing that people expect you to be.”

Y/N eyed him. “You don’t sell drugs?”

“No.”

“Kill people for money?”

“No.”

“Own a sex trafficking ring?”

Bucky can’t help but laugh. “No, Y/N.”

She doesn’t find it amusing.

He leans forward even more. “Look, doll, I know it’s hard for you to believe…but we do have a moral code. It doesn’t match the law. But we still abide it.”

Y/N’s satisfied with this answer, but she doesn’t let it show. “What happened to your arm?”

Bucky sits back in his seat and shifts, clearly uncomfortable by the question. “It happened when I was in the army. Steve and I were on patrol. A grenade was thrown right in front of him. I panicked and managed to shove him out of danger. But I was still too close. I held up my arm to shield myself and my sleeve caught fire. I got third degree burns from my shoulder and down to my wrist.”

Y/N gave him a sympathetic look. “Can…Can I see?” Her voice was surprisingly sweet.

Bucky gave her a shy smile and nodded before reaching his left arm out. He rest it on her lap, making sure to avoid her ribs, in fear of hurting her.

She put her left hand in his palm and squeezed as if to comfort him. Her right hand traced over the sleeve of tattoos. There were so many elements to it, but somehow all the different tattoos looked like they were meant to be together. There was a skull on his forearm that had a snake coming out of its jaw. It was slightly cut off by three roses. There was also a star right at the center of his shoulder. It was a piece of art that Y/N was amazed Bucky could imagine for an artist to create.

“Steve did it.” Bucky pointed out softly.

Her eyes flickered up to his.

“After the military, Steve went to college. He double majored in mechanical engineering and fine art.” Bucky smiled at the absurdity, but there was clearly pride there too. “He has a tattoo parlor in the auto-shop.” The smile dropped a little. “I figured I’d rather have some art to look at every day than a scar that reminds me of that grenade going off.”

“It’s beautiful.” Y/N accidentally sighed.

But it earned her a shy smile from Bucky.

Then she frowned. “The doctors said the cut at the edge of my eyebrow might scar…”

Bucky’s stomach dropped at how sad she sounded about it. He eyed the cut she was referencing. It was a straight line that when through the edge of her right eyebrow and stopped just above the corner of her eye. The doctors had put hot pink stitches in it. Bucky liked to think she requested the color.

“Doesn’t really matter though, does it?” He said like it was a matter of fact. Her face scrunched in confusion. “You’ll still be fucking beautiful.”

She chuckled at his charm, but then immediately winced from the pain. “Oh. Please don’t make me laugh.”

“I’m sorry.” Bucky panicked. “Do you want me to get a nurse? Do you need more pain killers?”

She shook her head. “No. They’ve given me all they can. Just…just keep distracting me. Your voice is relaxing me.”

Bucky’s cheeks tinged pink.

Y/N smiled. “I wish the world could see that I just made Bucky Barnes, the dangerous and scary lead of a biker gang, blush like a little schoolgirl.”

Bucky’s laughter quickly died when he heard scuffling in the hallway and whispering. His expression darkened. It was in the middle of the night. Visiting hours had been over long ago and Bucky was only here because people feared his wrath and Natasha had wooed a few doctors.

He got up quietly from his seat and tiptoed to the door surprisingly silent for someone as big and heavy as him.

Y/N’s body tensed as he saw Bucky disappear around the corner.

But then she swore she heard giggling.

Bucky returned with a smile on his face. “Doll, I think you have some visitors.”

Suddenly four children came scurrying into the room. “Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N! Are you okay?” They were all dressed in some variation of hospital gowns or pajamas. One didn’t have any hair. But they all looked delicate and sickish.

Y/N immediately recognized them. “What are you troublemakers doing out of bed?”

“We heard that you were in an accident!” One of them cried out with concern.

“We made you cards! And Bobby even brought one of his balloons for you!”

Bucky stood back and watched the interaction with amusement. The children were careful of her injuries when they crawled on the edge of the bed. They were talking a mile a minute and seemed very concerned for Y/N’s well-being.

After a half hour or so, a nurse came into the room. “As soon as they went missing, I knew they had found their way over here.” But she didn’t seem the slightest bit mad. She apologized to Y/N and herded the children out of the room.

Bucky cleared his throat once they were alone again. “Your friends are a lot younger than I imagined.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the joke. “I work for a non-profit organization. We coordinate and fund after school art classes for schools that can’t afford to keep their art department running. We do activities in hospitals for sick children too.”

“You really are a saint, aren’t you?” Bucky said in awe.

“Definitely no saint.” Y/N sighed. Then her attention was brought back to Bucky’s hands again. “What happened to your hands, Bucky?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“We had a deal.” Y/N reminded him.

But Bucky remained silent.

“Did you go after Brock?” She asked carefully.

He still stayed quiet, looking at the ground.

“Bucky?” She whispered. “Did you kill him?”

“I would’ve if Steve and Sam hadn’t been there.” He finally spoke. Y/N opened her mouth to scold him. “He shouldn’t have laid a hand on you, let alone looked you in the eye.” Bucky growled.

She didn’t know what to say.

“I told you I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” Bucky mumbled in shame.

“But you can’t protect everyone all the time.” Y/N told him gently.

His brow wrinkled at that idea. He didn’t like it.

Silence filled the room.

“I have one more question.” She muttered.

He waited patiently.

“What am I to you?”

Bucky slowly moved to her side, opting to sit on the edge of her bed instead of the chair. He smiled as his mind went back in time.

“The first time I saw you, you were wearing overalls and that Calvin Klein top. Which wasn’t much of a top, I’d like to point out.” He added with a playful smirk. She wanted to correct him and clarify that it was a bralette. But she stayed quiet. “You were painting that front door pink.” He paused. “And…And I just thought you were so beautiful. It felt like some cruel punishment that you lived across the street, because I assumed there was no way you hadn’t moved in with your boyfriend or husband. Then I kept seeing you go on those dates. You always dressed differently. Somehow I knew you weren’t yourself with them. It just made me want to get to know you…the real you.”

“So you were watching me?” Y/N teased.

“Hey, now. That’s not what I was doing and you know it. It’s just hard to take my eyes off you, doll.” Bucky chuckled. “But that first night I saw you at the bar, I was too excited for an excuse to finally talk to you. I just wish it had been under better circumstances.”

Y/N’s eyes lowered, too scared to ask her next question while looking into his blue eyes. “Why didn’t you just ask me out?”

“Because you’re too good for me.” He answered instantly, further proving that he believed it.

“How can you say that?” She whispered back.

“Your mom and sister will know it too.” He laughed darkly. “Every date they set you up with has a fancy sports car, makes six figures, wears a suit and tie, probably works in finance or law…”

“Exactly.” Y/N spat. It caught Bucky off guard. “That’s not me. All of those men, they want a trophy wife. Some girl that’s pretty and indifferent. I’m just another box to check off on a list that means they’ve lived a successful life.”

She took in a deep breath. “You asked me why I moved here.”

Bucky nodded.

“All my friends… they’re married or engaged. Some of them have started having kids. They moved out of the city and back to the suburbs. I felt like I was suffocating as everyone in my life waited until I joined in too.” Her eyes locked with Bucky’s. “I wasn’t running away, I was trying to run towards something. My friends… they’ve started the new chapter in their lives. Yeah, I might still be in it, but my part is hardly important. Moving an hour away didn’t make a difference. They don’t have enough time for me anyway.”

Y/N reached for Bucky’s hand. “My point is that I’m not too good for you. In fact, I think you actually might be what’s best for me.”

“So you just want to date me to piss off your mom and sister?” Bucky mocked.

“Oh, get over yourself. As soon as they hang out with you, they’ll realize you’re not as much of a tough biker as you pretend to be.” She chided.

Bucky leaned in closer. “Shh. Don’t tell anyone. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.” He whispered.

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway.

Both of them looked over to see that Steve was standing with a nurse at his side.

“You’ve officially terrified all of the staff.” Steve scolded Bucky. “So I’m here to relay the message and tell you that Y/N needs her rest.”

Y/N smirked. “Just give us a few more minutes?”

Steve looked down at the nurse for approval. She nodded her head and then disappeared.

But Steve lingered in the doorway. “I’m glad to see you’re okay, Y/N.” She thanked him and he too disappeared.

“Y/N?” Bucky grabbed her attention with his delicate tone. “Thank you for letting me stay… and for listening to me.” Then he leaned forward and surprised her with a kiss on the cheek. “Get some rest.”


“I love you two. But you’re driving me fucking insane. The doctor said I’d be able to get around fine on my own.” Y/N tried to remain calm as she kicked out her mother and sister. She’d been discharged yesterday. But she made an oath to herself that she’d only let the two of them stay over one night. Otherwise her sanity would never be saved.

“But your hand…” Her mom began.

“Is a minor annoyance and inconvenience!” Y/N finished. “Please guys. I’m just exhausted. All I wanna do is sleep in my own bed and not have to breathe in that gross hospital smell. If I need anything, I’ll call you. I promise.”

They finally agreed and started grabbing their things to head out.

Y/N swore her heart lifted with relief when she heard their car drive away. But it was short-lived when her doorbell rang. Had they forgot something? Or worse, had they changed their minds?

She swung open the door to find Bucky standing on her front porch. His hair was in that messy bun that she’d grown addicted to. His jeans were slightly distressed, tucked into his combat boots, and he was wear a white Led Zeppelin t-shirt.

“Christ. I thought they’d never leave.” Bucky exhaled. Then he let out a laugh when he saw the look of relief on her face.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, trying to hide her happiness from seeing him.

“You’re ribs are still healing and you have a broken hand…” Bucky pointed to the cast as if his appearance was the most obvious thing ever.

“Yeah?” She answered, still confused.

“Nurse Bucky at your service.” Bucky smirked. “I already ordered pizza…should be here in 20 minutes or so.”

“Bucky, you really don’t have-”

But she was interrupted with his lips pressing to hers. She moaned softly into the kiss with surprise. But her body reciprocated almost at once. The hand that wasn’t in a cast, cupped his cheek as their lips continued to dance.

Eventually they pulled apart for air. But Bucky leaned his forehead against hers, just like last time.

“What was that for?” Y/N whispered, not that she was complaining.

“I figured it might cure your stubbornness. You know, distract you enough to stop you from brushing my offer aside.” He grinned shrewdly. “And I think our first kiss got a little ruined, don’t you think?”

“You’re evil.” Y/N scolded.

But Bucky had the audacity to wink and move around her. He made himself at home, sitting on her couch and immediately picking up the remote to change the channel.

Y/N paused to watch him for a moment. It was strange to see how much Bucky looked like he belonged in her house. Despite her quirky and brightly colored home decor, his dark and grungy aesthetic didn’t clash with it. Y/N wish she could take a photograph of that moment. But to actually do that would taint it.

“You gonna join or just check me out, doll?” Bucky asked without taking his eyes off the television.

The rest of the night was filled with movie watching, Netflix binging, and pizza eating. Sometimes the TV was just background noise as the two of them talked and other times they couldn’t take their eyes off the screen as the fictional story unfolded.

Eventually the pizza box was empty and the credits of another movie were rolling. Bucky looked down. Y/N had cuddled into his chest at one point. She was breathing evenly, fast asleep. Her head was resting over his heart and Bucky’s left arm was wrapped over her shoulder.

A shy smile formed on his lips at the sight of her. Y/N was so beautiful. He’d never met another woman that made him feel more like himself. When he was with her, he didn’t feel like the scary biker that everyone else saw. He just felt like Bucky. He could let his guard down, be himself. There wasn’t a reputation to protect because Y/N was only interested in the real.

“Doll…” Bucky whispered into her ear.

“Hmm… I’m sleeping.” Y/N mumbled and buried her face further into his chest.

“Your bed is going to much more comfortable.” Bucky continued whispering.

“No.”

Bucky chuckled. “Alright. I’ll carry you.” Before he got an answer, he ever so carefully brought her body into his lap and then stood with her in his arms. He was cautious of her injuries and scared of holding onto her too tightly.

Once he gently placed Y/N on her bed, he took off her fuzzy slippers and pulled the covers over her.

“Bucky?” Y/N mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Yeah, doll. I’m right here.”

“You should stay.”

He chuckled at her forwardness, suddenly remembering that she’d taken two heavy duty painkillers before falling asleep. “As tempting as that is, I think you should rest in your bed alone.”

“Tempting?” Y/N groaned in annoyance. “You’re one to talk…walking around all hot and badass, wearing leather jackets and combat boots. Can’t you just let me live my life?”

Bucky tried to suppress his laughter as he sat on the edge of Y/N’s bed. “Are you saying you think I’m sexy, doll?” He pushed.

She sleepily scoffed at that. “Sexy doesn’t even begin to cover it.” But then the room was filled with the sound of Y/N’s cute snoring.

Bucky chuckled again, then made sure the blankets were all straightened and covering her body.

“For the record, I think you’re sexy too, Y/N.” He whispered in a laugh, even though he knew she was now sleeping and drugged out.

Bucky cleaned up Y/N’s living room and kitchen before leaving and made sure to lock the door behind him.

When he started walking across the street, he saw Steve’s motorcycle parked in his driveway. He looked over to see Steve sitting on the first step of his front door.

“How long you been sittin’ here?” Bucky asked when he was finally at his door. But instead of going inside, he sat next to his friend.

“Not too long. Figured you were at Y/N’s.” Steve shrugged. “How’s she doin’?”

Bucky sighed. “She’s a tough girl… just wish it never happened in the first place.”

“I’m glad you two worked things out.” Steve credited.

Bucky nodded to himself. “I wanted to ask you something actually.”

Steve looked at him, urging him to go on.

“How did you know what to do with Peggy? Weren’t you scared something was going to happen to her?”

Steve’s wife was their gang’s best kept secret. No one outside of The Howling Commandos knew Steve was even married, let alone that he had two kids. Steve’s family was outside the biker life. He didn’t want them to be in the dangerous side of his life. It had to be done in order to keep them safe.

“I didn’t.” Steve finally admitted. “I just knew that I loved her and I would do anything to keep her in my life.”

“People have already found out about Y/N. We all know Rumlow’s face is walking proof that he crossed me.” Bucky sighed.

“We’ll all look after her, Buck.” Steve vowed. “You know that, right?”

Bucky looked at him with a smile. “Yeah, punk. I know that.”

Steve pat him on the back. “Like we always say…”

“…Till the end of the line. Yeah, yeah. I know, Stevie.” Bucky playfully rolled his eyes.

Steve chuckled at his dramatics. “So are you going to actually ask her on a date or just keeping wandering over to her house like a stalker?”

But Bucky’s only response was wrapping Steve in a headlock and messing up his hair in a noogie.



Part Six

Why I don’t see Destiel as real

Have I noticed odd subtext between Dean and Castiel? Yes. Do I think that subtext adds up to a homosexual relationship between a sexless, genderless angel and a human man who can barely manage to have a meaningful relationship outside of the brotherly bond he has with his own brother? No.

I don’t see the show Supernatural as a show about romance. It’s about family. Castiel is family to Sam and Dean, the only family they really have left. (I don’t have positive feelings towards Mary, but she counts, obviously.) Destiel is something that was borne out of fan fiction. The two things are not related.

I’m a bisexual woman. I’m not locked into the hetero-normative relationship patterns on TV. I don’t believe in traditional anything, so if I thought there was a reason to believe Destiel was real, I would. I’m also not trying to change anyone’s mind or argue about whether it exists. I don’t think it does, but others do, and that’s all fine. All I’m saying is, until it’s directly addressed on the show or confirmed by the actors/writers/etc., it’s not real. 

Jensen has repeatedly said(and been threatened as a result) that Destiel is not real. If the man who originated a character in the pairing says it’s not real, then maybe you should all just accept it as not real and move on until it’s confirmed or explicitly depicted. Obviously you shouldn’t stop shipping it or writing it in your fan fiction, because some of the hottest fic out there is Destiel fan fic. But you can’t really say it’s canon until it’s actually directly confirmed. Subtext isn’t confirmation. It’s disrespectful to the actor who plays the character to insist something is real when they’ve said it’s not. I respect the actors of SPN and their wishes. If Jensen says it’s not real, then that’s good enough for me. 

I realize that the Destiel shippers will likely be upset by this, but the truth is the truth. I don’t know why so much time(including this post) has been devoted to a fictional ship when it could be spent doing something so much more productive. The actors of SPN devote their time to helping people outside work, and we’re all here screaming about a nonexistent ship. It originated in fan fiction and not the show for a reason, y’all. Sorry. 

Post Script: Keep the hate coming, trolls. Your true colors are showing. 😉