wire act

4

She is beauty, she is grace

(she hits people with her face)

Origins, Pt. 1


This post brought to you by @eizabet, who inspired me with the tags to this post:


Bonus:

Today’s horoscope did say he would tackle new relationships head on ¬‿¬

Crossing Wires

Tuning in to the audio apocalypse.

Hello everyone!

I’m writing a podcast, and I’m going to need some voices for it! Quite a few, in fact.

It’s got something to do with an apocalypse and radio waves, and there’s going to be quite a large cast of characters - some reoccurring and some just one offs.

We have characters of all sorts. We’ve got a beauty blogger and an apocalyptic prepper, a garage band musician and a travelling radio repair person. And those are just a few examples.

How do you audition? It’s pretty simple. Record a short (around 30-60 seconds) audio clip of you reacting to an apocalyptic event. Maybe you’re at home, or at your favourite local hangout. Is it meteors? Is it Cthulu? You choose! We just want to hear you reacting to it in some way. Don’t do any editing to it, just send us a raw take. Have an accent? That’s totally fine! Although the podcast takes place in North America, we have characters from all over, and are more than willing to tweak a character to make your natural accent work for them.

If you have a reel, you can link us to that as well, but we would still like to hear your apocalyptic reaction.

We also have at least one character who sings, so if you sing, throw in a couple bars of yourself singing a favourite song (this can be separate from your apocalypse reaction). A link to a past performance or recording works as well.

Please record on the best quality mic you have at your disposal, but don’t think that not having a high quality mic disqualifies you from auditioning. If we fall in love with your audition, we’ll find a way to make it work.

Auditions can be sent to crossingwirespodcast@gmail.com. In the body of the email, please include the following info:

Name:
Pronoun:
Are you okay playing a character a different gender than you? y/n
Age:
Location:
Any relevant experience:
Your favourite post-apocalyptic setting or media:

At the moment, this is unpaid.

Auditions will be open until the end of the month (May 31, 2017).

If you have any questions, feel free to email us, or send us an ask here! We also answered some questions we already got over here, as well as going into a bit more detail about what we’re looking for.

10

- Well, we have - we have similar jobs in a way. I wear a uniform, you wear, uh – I suppose you could call that a uniform.

anonymous asked:

Dum-E and U start adopting stray robots or technology (like a toaster/Clints game console).

This was cute!! And it isn’t super long, but I hope you like it!


“Stark!” Clint calls, pushing into the kitchen. His pushes his bangs out of his face, still not having cut his hair as what he calls an “Act of Rebellion” after Natasha told him he looked better without them. “You need to get your children in control.”

“Whatever smartass thing Peter said, I stand by it, and whatever Harley stole, I support his endeavors. Also, whatever Riri’s doing, I stand by that too. Listen, Clint, if you wanted a middle-aged mom showdown, you came to the wrong playdate.”

“Okay, not what I meant at all, but… okay. I wasn’t talking about your flesh children.”

“That is probably the most terrifying way to state it,” Tony says, finally looking up from his sadly empty cup of… whatever Natasha put in it. He isn’t sure, but it was brown coloured, so it looked safe. “Are there any children not made of flesh? Or are you late for some cult thing?”

Keep reading

You only have one more week to get your audition in for Crossing Wires!

What is Crossing Wires?

Crossing Wires is a new podcast, one that follows a cast of characters scattered across North America as they navigate a post-apocalyptic landscape. The story is told through their recordings and broadcasts, even though they all know there’s no one out there to receive their transmissions.

Except for us listeners, of course.

Auditions are open until May 31st!
Audition Information | Audition Hints | All Questions About Auditioning

A couple of fun costume things that I learned (or relearned? it has been a long time) whilst checking things for the Fashion of Nemesis post, but couldn’t find space for:

  • Iain McCiag’s original intention was that Maul wore feathers on his head, attached to a wire. The act of wrapping the feathered wire around his head was to be a meditative act of self-flagellation, each feather having to hit exactly the right point or he would have to start over. The design, when passed on to the creatures department, was interpreted as horns, and that’s how we ended up with the spiky zabrak we all know and, uh, know today. 
  • Maul’s markings were created in a frustrated accident of spilled ink, and were developed and finalised through experimental rorsharch-like ink blottings.

Iain McCaig, The Art of Star Wars The Phantom Menace

This sketch also demonstrates the original ‘muscle suit’ costume before it was decided to more directly mirror the Jedi costumes, and design something more sympathetic to movement and combat.

  • Maul’s one piece of bling, an earring in his left ear, was never a part of his character design. It was Ray Park’s own, and he was wearing the earring when he sat down in the make-up chair. Hours later, when he stepped in front of the camera, it was still there and wasn’t noticed until it had been shot on and established. The earring stayed for the remainder of the shoot, and Maul has stuck with this one concession to fashion all the way through the Clone Wars to rebels. Despite its constant presence over 20 years, it has never been given an explanation or backstory. Maul just really likes it, ok.
Why I Don't Gamble Online..(and haven't for quite some time)

Read the previous post to this one. Although online gambling has been a contentious topic ever since its advent in the mid to late 90s, most who indulge in it don’t realize they’re both breaking and following the law simultaneously. In 2004 the World Trade Organization (WTO), ruled in favor of Antigua in a confidential case during which the United States had sought to maintain its prohibition of offshore gambling services which catered to American clients through the internet. 



Why Antigua?
Ask Jay Cohen, at one time the operator of the ‘World Sports Exchange’, based IN Antigua. In 1998, the US cracked down on so-called 'Internet Betting Parlors’, and charged 21 US citizens, including Cohen, with violations of the Wire Act of 1961. Cohen was the only person charged who neither pleaded guilty nor became a fugitive (fleeing or remaining out of the country)

.

…Hold up, what’s that 'Wire Act’ you mentioned?
Oh yeah, that. The Wire Act of 1961 is a federal statute prohibiting the transmission of certain types of bets via wire-based communication networks (i.e. telephones). Although the Wire Act obviously predated the internet, and is arguably a prime example of the American government overreaching past its own boundaries when it comes to jurisdiction, the Department of Justice (DOJ) articulated its extrapolation of the Wire Act in 2002. Then Assistant US Attorney General Michael Chertoff stated that the Wire Act, “prohibits gambling over the internet, including casino-style gambling”, and [covers jurisdictions both] “where the bettor is located and the state or foreign country where the gambling business is located”. Even before the Antigua/US  international judicial conflict, rulings made by domestic courts have partially contradicted the DOJ’s stance and extension of the Wire Act. Regardless….



Okay, we get it; quit dropping legal jargon and tell us about that Cohen guy..
Jay Cohen, our brave (or foolishly naive depending on how you look at it) protagonist, left the safe haven of Antigua to contest his case in the United States. As you’ve probably concluded at this point: he lost. In 2000, Cohen was sentenced to 21 months in prison, and was fined 5 grand, in the process becoming the first person convicted in the United States of operating an offshore internet gambling website. 



Poor guy, sucks for him..what does he have to do with the rest of this mess?
While Cohen’s conviction wasn’t exactly front-page news, word traveled. It eventually reached attorney Mark Mendel. Mr. Mendel did some research, leading him to the belief that the government had violated the WTO’s General Agreement on Trade Services (GATS…no joke, it’s most commonly referred to as GATS). After outlining his case in a memo sent to Antigua’s government, their prime minister enlisted Mendel to file suit against the US at the WTO.



And??
Our (speaking as an American citizen) “mighty” government lost a confidential ruling, and several appeals that followed to a country that is roughly 1/10 the size (in area) of our smallest state, Rhode Island.
The American government is known for its pride; hell, historically there’s a precedent for what was to come next from the 'Stars and Stripes’. Remember former president Andrew Jackson? Old Hickory? He definitely had a pair of what those speaking Antiguan Creole would call ‘frickadella’. In reference to the former head of the Supreme Court whose ruling ordered for a cessation of Jackson’s Indian Removal Act, he allegedly audaciously stated, “John Marshall has made his decision, now let him enforce it!”. Jackson’s Treaty of New Echota flew directly in the face of the decision rendered by the Supreme Court. Its amendment and ratification was essentially the legal basis for what became infamously known as ‘The Trail of Tears’.

So wait..if I live in the United States and use an online website to gamble on sports, or horses, or casino games..am I breaking a law?
If we’re going by international court and the accompanying legal precedent: no, you aren’t. If we’re talking about the reality and logistics of it: yes, you are. I don’t know exactly why our government chooses to ignore the WTO’s ruling, but it does.

Okay, so it’s a bad idea just because of that..?
If that isn’t enough on a castigatory basis, think about the ramifications it has regarding the integrity of establishments choosing to violate domestic law. Let’s say you’re a great sports-capper (..like me), but unlike me, you’ve chosen to place $200 into some online book. What do you think happens if you win $1000, want to withdraw that money, and the book becomes unresponsive or uncooperative? Are you going to threaten them? Tell them you’re going to call the police for refusing to give you what’s rightfully yours? If you can even get them on the phone, you’ll probably hear some customer service rep laughing at the mere thought. It’s tantamount to a pot smoker calling the cops because their dealer shorted thema few grams.

Two reasons..I need some more convincing!
Uh..let’s start with that article from ESPN I posted. These websites don’t answer to anybody or any body (see what I did there?) until the damage has been done. Full Tilt Poker currently owes $390 million to its players. They have only $59 million. Considering ESPN trusted Full Tilt’s legitimacy enough to allow them to sponsor…ESPN, think about websites that aren’t under a corporate microscope. Think about everyone you know that knows how to make their Myspace look appealing—professional, even. They’re about 10 hours of learning away from being able to use their skills to establish an official, sophisticated online gambling website. When you go to Las Vegas, walk inside Caesar’s Palace, take note of the lush surroundings, you can LITERALLY see people cashing out (some small, and some large), you KNOW there’s REAL money that your chips represent.

I could honestly give ten more reasons, but the bottom line is: online gambling is more than a gamble. I’m Sharp. Trust me.

Crossing Wires - Audition Questions

(What is Crossing Wires? Crossing Wires is a new post-apocalyptic podcast that will be recording and putting out its first episodes this summer. Original call for submissions here )

We’ve gotten a few questions regarding our auditions, so here’s hoping this post can clarify some things!

Can I still audition if I am Far Away?

Yes! You definitely do not need to be local in order to audition. We’re already getting auditions from all sorts of places, which is awesome. Also, your native accent, whatever it is, is totally acceptable. Although Crossing Wires is set in North America, we’re looking to have characters from all over.

But I don’t have a high quality microphone!

That’s okay! You can use your phone microphone, if that’s all you’ve got. Use the best microphone that’s at your disposal, but don’t fret if the best you’ve got is just the one on your headphones or whatever. If we want to cast you and your microphone quality is not usable for the actual podcast, we’ll help look for resources around you to make it happen. Don’t let microphone quality stop you from auditioning.

I have no acting experience/the wrong kind of experience!

Every time I run or sit in on auditions, I am always blown away by someone who walks in with nothing on their resume. The question about relevant experience on the application is not there to count anybody out, it’s more there out of curiosity. It is often difficult to get any experience, especially if you’re part of certain groups that have a hard time even making it into casting rooms. No experience is totally okay.

I want to audition, but not having a script is scary…

Understandable! The reason we didn’t give out a more strict guideline on what we wanted for that audio clip is because we wanted to see what people came up with (and didn’t want to give any hints as to what kind of apocalypse it is in canon, just yet). So far, we’ve gotten a lot of different stuff, which is really fun! Including someone using a random apocalypse generator for their scenario, which is a good idea if you’re stuck for ideas.

If you’re still really stuck, here are some questions that might help you out:

  • pick a location (supermarket, at home, on a plane, on an awkward first date?)
  • are you (or the person you’re being for these sixty seconds) a panicky person? Do you go calm in the face of danger? Do you try to make jokes?
  • pick an action. Are you gonna try to make it home? Call the police? Head to the nearest pub and wait for all this to blow over?

That should be more than enough for sixty seconds! And don’t worry about it fitting a particular type of character. Although there are some characters that are already written, we’ve left a lot of space for characters who are going to be inspired by the auditions we get and the people we cast.

We might ask some people to read for specific characters, but that will be secondary to the first audition, and won’t be right away. And if we don’t ask you, don’t think of it as a rejection! We only are asking for readings for a few very specific characters.

Finally, tone.

Do you want the auditions to be funny/serious/scary?

This podcast is aiming to have a little bit of all of those things! You can do whatever you want in your audition. The overarching themes of Crossing Wires are going to be about connection in unexpected places, isolation, and long distance friendships, essentially. What does the end of the world look like when the thing that often goes out first in such scenarios (ability to communicate with the world at large) starts to come back?

Thank you for all who have expressed interest in Crossing Wires, and for the auditions we have already received! We look forward to hearing from more of you soon!

Auditions are open until May 31, 2017. Crossing Wires will be casting in the first week of June.

READER HOROSCOPES FOR JUNE 2017

Flipping the pages of your celestial fortune

GEMINI

 Gemini season is upon us!!! Birthday behavior will be in full effect, so enjoy this month and all it has to offer. How do you see yourself developing in the next month, year, or five years? What do you want to achieve, and how can you make that happen? Use this burst of positive energy to fuel your ambitions because honey, the sky’s the limit! In between all of the birthday partying you plan to do (you know you tend to need twice the celebrations - get it?), take some time to peel yourself away from the crowd and reflect on what this past year has brought. There have been many ups, most likely a few downs as well. But you’ve made it this far, and there’s no slowing you down now. Be bold, be serious about your dreams, and start taking concrete steps to reaching them! That means investing in yourself - whether it’s a side project that needs more time, a long-term endeavor that you’ve abandoned lately, or a relationship that you want to improve. The onus is on you to take control - it’s your life, after all! The characters in your lucky book this month may not always get along, but they are driven by their passions, and act accordingly. Wires may get crossed, accidents can happen, or the side project you invested time and money in may reveal itself to be smoke and mirrors - these are some unfortunate side effects of taking risks. But guess what? You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And, in the end, even if it all goes up in smoke, you become stronger by learning how to rebuild. This is your time, Gemini, so go after what you want, and be unapologetic about it. You’ve got a pretty big crowd cheering you on, every step of the way.

 LUCKY BOOK: Modern Lovers by Emma Straub

CANCER

 Namaste, Cancer. Summer is nearly upon us, and you’re feeling extra motivated to get yourself in shape. Whether it’s inspired by the ‘beach body’ craze (any body at the beach is a beach body, FYI!) or you’ve just got some spare energy to burn, lean into that impulse and follow where it takes you! Putting in those hours of physical exertion - whether it’s on a yoga mat, treadmill, or the winding paths of your local park - will only make you feel stronger, healthier, and happier…and probably pretty sore, too. But good for you! This commitment to bettering your physical self will do wonders for helping you manage your emotional self, as well. While you have the time to let your mind wander while you work out, allow it to drift to your personal goals - and I’m not talking about how many pounds you want to lift. Where are you headed, and what’s driving you there? When is the last time you reevaluated what you really want? It’s crucial that you stop and reflect from time to time, keeping in mind that desires change, and that’s normal. If you’ve been pushing yourself lately, think about why that is. Are you keeping yourself busy to avoid thinking? Why? Use this month of recalibration as a reset - absent yourself from the whirlwind of rooftop parties and bar hops for a bit, and just let yourself rest. When is the last time you took an honest to God NAP? Yeah, thought so. Your lucky book this month follows a young man who, similar to yourself, is on a quest for knowledge - how does one achieve transcendence? Nirvana? The only way to find out is to seek it out - a journey that tests his physical abilities, but his emotional and spiritual grit as well. Take the time, put in the work, and then wait - with time, your answers (and rewards!) will come..

 LUCKY BOOK: The Yoga of Max’s Discontent by Karan Bajaj

 

LEO

 Thank you for being frieeeend, Leo! This month your social butterfly-ing is off the charts - everyone wants a piece of you, which is exactly how you like it! The summer season and hours-long group hangouts are exactly what the doctor ordered, so you’re in a good place. Listen to that feeling in your gut that tells you are exactly where you need to be - June very well may be the month of beneficial collaborations! Keep your eyes and ears open during your group conversations - you never know who may wind up being a fantastic potential partner for a joint venture. That said, you may prefer not to think about any joint venturing right now, due to a stalled project that’s been getting you down. A short story you can’t find an ending for, a relationship that refuses to be rehabilitated, a jewelry business that you are having trouble getting off the ground - whatever it is, it can be incredibly frustrating to devote time and energy to a project, just to have it stutter and stop before it even starts. Don’t avoid the issue, but don’t keep trying the same methods over and over again either. It may be time to seek out some help - might it be an emotional block? Is it time to seek out your old therapist, or maybe an acupuncturist? The point is, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you find yourself needing a fun distraction between therapy sessions, your lucky book this month is about a pair of friends whose relationship takes a sharp turn one fateful summer. Young rich women in 1950s Houston, Texas, one of them gone off the rails and the other her self-appointed chaperone: what follows is a story that is sure to lend some perspective to the issues you’re facing. Sometimes, you really do get by with a little help from a friend.

 LUCKY BOOK: The After Party by Anton DiSclafani

 

VIRGO

 Summer is rapidly approaching - for most people, a time when responsibilities are slackened, the meetings end earlier, and the long, sunny days make for less work, much more play. But you aren’t most people, are you, Virgo? This month, you’re determined to make good use of your time and energy rather than while it away on the boardwalk or rooftop bar. The good news is, you’ll start to see the returns from this burst of extra effort pretty quickly: if you haven’t already, you’ll start getting noticed by some important higher-ups, community influencers, maybe even a potential business partner or two. Your career is going places, so take advantage of that momentum! This means thinking more broadly about how you’re utilizing your position and whatever power you wield to make the world a better place. How can you contribute to the causes that are meaningful to you? Can you sacrifice your time? Resources? Money? The more successful you become, the easier it can be to hoard the wealth you accrue, but be warned: money is fickle, and has ways of making itself scarce - sometimes at the most inconvenient or unexpected times. The family in your lucky book know that well, having lost their riches in one fell swoop on a fateful summer’s day on Martha’s Vineyard. Shaken, bewildered, and grasping for steady footing, they undergo very separate journeys - the childrens’ distinct from the parents’ in order to make sense of their strange new world, and figure out their place in it. So keep making the boss moves you’ve perfected into an art, but stay ready at all times for the other shoe to drop.

 LUCKY BOOK: Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty by Ramona Ausubel

 

LIBRA

 Oh, lovely Libra, where will your spirit move you this month? The summer breeze has you feeling particularly fine, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. Feeling antsy and in need of a change of pace? Join a Capoeira class! Do you miss scintillating classroom discussions and writing important papers? Sign up for the community college class you’ve been eyeing for weeks now! Don’t let your nomadic spirit spiral into aimlessness - your open-mindedness is a gift; take advantage of it! Don’t settle until you feel, internally, that you’re in the place you want to be. What form that place will take, only your future self knows, but one thing is clear: you’re hungry for knowledge. You want to know more - about computer science, about birding, about the coasts of Santorini - it doesn’t matter what the topic (or the hemisphere), just that you find your passion and let it consume you. Throwing yourself into a brand new pursuit is one of the most sustaining and reliable pleasures of life; it can remind us of the wild curiosity we experienced for the first time as children, and it can teach us discipline and patience. But most of all, it will scratch the itch that’s been nagging you: the itch to simply know more. The authors of your lucky book know exactly how you feel - they wrote and illustrated an entire book that explores everything we don’t know about the universe. Quarks and neutrinos, black holes and Dark Matter: words we hear in physics class that vaguely ring a bell, but easily evade human understanding. This is the perfect downtime book for you this month as you embark on a quest of personal fulfillment via life’s classroom - but the best part is, there’s no test at the end.

 LUCKY BOOK: We Have No Idea: A Guide to the Unknown Universe by Jorge Cham and Daniel Whiteson

 

SCORPIO

 Scorpio, you siren, you. Do you ever tire of leaving broken hearts in your wake? Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but the truth is, you’re quite the hot commodity this month, but something tells us you don’t exactly mind! Call it hormones, pheromones, or what have you, but the seductive vibes you’re giving off are driving your admirers wild - some you’re probably already aware of, some you may not be! You officially hold the crown in the kingdom of “leave ‘em wanting more,” but a little mystery never hurt anybody, now did it? On the contrary: this surge of power has awakened your artistic sensibilities, and your creativity is off the charts. NO matter your given field - photography, singing, comedy, acting - you’ve tapped into that elusive space where the magic is flowing and you’re on a high that feels as if it won’t end. Allow yourself to be fully submerged into that place of artistic nirvana while you can - because, as you know well, the muse will float away and the output won’t feel as effortless. And speaking of being submerged…your lucky book this month is a perfectly creepy read to keep you engaged, awake, and on your toes. The queen of intrigue is back with a thriller that follows the story of a small town grappling with two grisly murders that occur within weeks. Don’t stay up late reading this one - or do, if you’re the type to derive inspiration from unsettling dreams…and the satisfaction that comes from hoarding all of those unanswered texts…

 LUCKY BOOK: Into the Water by Paula Hawkins

 

SAGITTARIUS

 Happy June, Sagittarius! These longer summer days and balmy nights are incredibly restorative, after a rather stressful past few weeks. Now that some of the furor has died down, you have the mental real estate to take stock. Your relationships have been heavy on your mind lately - be they romantic, familial, platonic, or professional, it’s important to recognize when your gut is telling you to pay attention. Trust your instincts. This month, you should have little trouble recognizing who is worth your time and who is a drain on your energy, and acting accordingly. Life is too short to spend it catering to people you know aren’t good for you, whether out of respect to a bond formed in childhood, a friend in common, or simply an unhealthy infatuation. Make the conscious decision to choose quality over quantity - you may be surprised at how much easier it becomes to recognize your genuine attraction to the right people, and repulsion by the wrong ones. And if you’re having trouble finding the motivation to sit with yourself and do this necessary emotional work, let your lucky book guide you. A hilarious and poignant memoir that explores the strange inner workings of a strict Catholic childhood, Priestdaddy is a great reminder of the necessity of intense self-reflection. Taking a step back to take stock of your history, your interactions with the people in your life, and most importantly, how you feel about how far you’ve come - it makes an enormous difference. Better yet, it can help you identify patterns you may have unwittingly established, and the best way to move forward.

 LUCKY BOOK: Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood

 

CAPRICORN

 Watch out, Cap! June is coming at you fast, and there’s no time to waste: only strategic thinking and maximum efficiency will get you through this month unscathed. Luckily, you’re already a practical thinker by nature, with a healthy amount of determination and ambition. These traits will come in handy when your responsibilities start to ramp up, and opportunities begin flying at you from all directions. It’s exciting to find yourself in such high demand, but this is when it’s most essential to keep a level head and practice the art of the “no.” Always, Cap, aim to work smarter, not harder. Utilize life hacks to maximize your time and energy, rather than spreading yourself thin in an attempt to be everything for everybody. Make a list of your priorities and passions, and don’t apologize for making those your focus this month. Some things will necessarily fall by the wayside, and that’s okay. Self-sustainability is the name of the game, so don’t feel guilty for looking out for #1. This goes beyond your work life, though: you should be taking precautions to keep yourself safe, in general! Your lucky book this month is an excellent guide to all of the strange quirks of human nature when it comes to keeping ourselves alive from day to day, like insisting on fat-free salad dressing but text while behind the wheel. Filled with eye-opening statistics and anecdotes that paint a striking picture of the need for more careful living, this is an excellent downtime read that will satisfy your need for concrete steps to leading a more responsible and efficient life.

 LUCKY BOOK: Careful: A User’s Guide to Our Injury-Prone Minds by Steve Casner

 

AQUARIUS

 Aquarius, where’s the party?! June is here and you’re ready to celebrate - good for you! Your festive spirit is incredibly contagious, which is probably why you’re finding that many old friends are popping out of the woodwork to extend invitations to hang out. People love to be around a welcoming and effusive spirit like yours, so revel in it! Make the very most of those day parties and parades, don’t be afraid to get a little loud and flamboyant! There’s a time for being a little over the top, Aquarius, and this is yours. If you find yourself drawn to experiences simply for the amazing story they’ll make in the aftermath, follow that impulse! You’re known for spinning some incredible yarns, but the stories that keep your friends and family the most rapt are definitely the ones that are based on 100% true events. And with the high you’re currently riding, who knows what adventures you’re liable to get into? Your lucky book this month is by an author who consistently tells riveting, eye-opening stories - a trait you both share! A deeply affecting story of a young couple in 1930s Austria desperate to be together in the midst of war, this novel will provide some much-needed balance to the endorphin-addled rollercoaster you’re on this month - while still keeping you on the edge of your seat.

 LUCKY BOOK: The Lost Letter by Jillian Cantor

 

PISCES

 Home is where the heart is, isn’t that right, Pisces? This month, you’re feeling every bit the domestic goddess: your plants are thriving, wardrobe cleaned out, bathroom sink sparkling. Or maybe none of those tasks are completed yet, but you’re counting down the minutes until you can cross them off your to-do list. Embrace the urge to beautify your space - you have to live there, after all! It’s absolutely in your best interest to take the time to make it look and feel the way you love; being in a space you don’t enjoy can negative effects on your mood and productivity, which makes total sense: if the first thing you see in the morning and last thing you see at night both make you say “Ugh,” how can you expect to feel anything but? But surrounding yourself with beauty and cleanliness (or otherwise, whatever you’re into!) shouldn’t only be for your home - this month, finding yourself in the company of powerful women you admire will be key. They say you are the average of the people you spend the most time with, so think carefully about who you are allowing to influence you every day. The company you keep - just like the furniture or framed art you choose - can make all the difference. Your lucky book this month is another kind of domestic tale - a hilarious, heartwarming story of a newly combined family trying to adjust to their new roles. A testament to the ongoing awkwardness of life, no matter what age you are, this novel is a great reward for finally building that Hemnes dresser - or an even better distraction from starting (don’t worry, we won’t tell).

 LUCKY BOOK: The Awkward Age by Francesca Segal

 

ARIES

 What a time to be alive, huh, Aries? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the Instagram stories are flowing! After the seemingly endless month of May, June is finally here in all of its glory, and you are ready to take full advantage. Get your calendar ready - you’re stepping back into your social butterfly shoes (or should it be wings?) and it is wonderful! Friends and family love to see you in your element, so don’t be surprised by all of the invites fluttering your way. But if your heart is telling you to hit the road, it may be best to put some of those brunch dates on hold - getting onto a bus, train, or place and exploring a brand new place may be exactly what the doctor ordered. Don’t be afraid to follow your heart - especially if it leads you to something you’ve never tried! Your lucky book this month may give you some inspiration, particularly if you’re the athletic type. You may have heard of ultimate frisbee before, but never like this. Told from the point of view of “one of the greatest athletes no one has ever heard of,” Ultimate Glory follows the journey of a young man who devoted his life to those moments when he is able to lose himself completely in the game. And although he went on to hang up his frisbee and pick up a pen, his sheer adoration for the sport, and his passion for making his dreams come true, are all the motivational fodder you need to get up and get going. Go on and seize the day, Aries - and maybe give seizing a frisbee a shot too! You never know!

 LUCKY BOOK: Ultimate Glory by David Gessen

 

TAURUS

 Well, Taurus, another birthday season has passed, and you’re another year older and wiser! The best part of aging: becoming more accepting of your personality quirks and eccentricities. Constantly trying to alter who you are is not only fruitless, it’s psychologically draining! That said, as summer plans begin to heat up and your various friend groups make half-baked travel plans you know will require some forethought, don’t ignore your desire to step in and make sure the itineraries are up to snuff. You get a lot of grief for being the self-appointed parent from time to time, but guess what? Someone has to do it! And if it’s you, so be it. Needing stability doesn’t make you boring; it makes you indispensable, and it also keeps you sane. Not to mention, it truly does help people have more fun. Of course, it’s important to keep in mind that the best laid plans have their way of going awry. No one knows this better than the poor families of your lucky book this month, who embark on what begins as a lovely cruise, only to devolve into the most harrowing vacation experience of their lives. It’s a heart-stopping, engrossing reminder of the inherent unknowability of life, despite our Plans B, C, D, and so on - but moreso, a reminder to treasure your loved ones every day, as life is completely unpredictable. Be sure to smuggle this one with you wherever you go, because trust me - once you start, it’s nearly impossible to put down.

 LUCKY BOOK: Do Not Become Alarmed by Maile Meloy

High Maintenance (McCree/Reader)

Engineer Reader helps McCree with his prosthetic and he realises he has a crush on them. I had a bit of a rough day, so I wrote this to cheer myself up and not much happens but HERE YOU GO.

Warnings:

  • I was very sleepy writing this, editing did happen but tbh I probably missed a lot of stuff

  • WHAT IS ENGLISH

(Y/n) – Your name

~*~

McCree let out a grave sigh. He was seated at his usual spot in the Overwatch cafeteria, twisting and turning his mechanical wrist with a pained expression on his face. The wiring had been acting up –or something. He was no engineer but McCree knew something wasn’t right. Whatever the problem was, it was interfering with his performance as an agent. This morning, during the drills, he’d noticed his dodge roll was a little wonky. A by “a little wonky” McCree meant he’d crashed into several walls and a staircase.

He’d been sitting there for a good fifteen minutes already when you walked in. You approached the table and put down your lunch. At the sound of his name, Jesse looked up and gave you a quick affirmative nod. “(Y/n)…” he muttered, scooting over so you could sit beside him.

“Your arm acting up?” you asked, leaning over to have a better look. Unlike McCree, you were in fact an engineer –a nosy one at that, and a little bit too good at heart. Knowing this, the cowboy backed away, shaking his head.

“It ain’t nothin’ I can’t handle, darlin’.” He refused to let you fuss over him: too proud. Besides, he figured it wasn’t even that big a deal. After lunch, McCree planned on seeing Torbjörn about it anyway. So, he stood his ground and waved you off with a weak excuse of just being a little tired. However, despite the cowboy’s best efforts and the award winning smile on his face, you would not be detered.

“Jesse,” you groaned. “Just let me have a look at it. I promise, it won’t take long.” You reached forward, attempting to take his arm but he moved it out the way. A little annoyed whine escaped you as you attempted to grab the prosthetic again, only to be met with a blocking hand on your shoulder. You slumped back into your seat and crossed your arms over your chest, a slight pout on your face.

Jesse chuckled. You were as stubborn as ever, and while he thought that was kinda cute, McCree couldn’t have you worrying about him.

“Now, sweetheart, that won’t be neces–!!!” The cowboy was caught off guard when you slammed a screwdriver into his mechanical arm. (When did you pull that out?!) Before he had time to react, you straddled his lap –your back flush to his chest– pressing his prostethic under your arm to lock it in place. Your fingers made deft work of opening the maintenance panel and deactivating the artificial nervous system. The heat and tingly sensation that made the limb feel real disappeared all at once and his arm flopped onto the table, like nothing but cold dead weight.

“Make and model?” You asked, sliding the magnifying glasses from your forehead over you eyes; the contents of the arm instantly became sharper and you could better differentiate the components now.

“Uh O-Overwatch issued, Digit 2056-L1,” the man stammered out, still not used to the strange sensation of losing control over the mechanical limb. He tried moving it; it didn’t budge under your grip.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jesse?” You looked up over the rim of the glasses and stared back at your coworker. “That model is ancient! When was the last time you had a check-up done? What about a software update? Hell, do you even grease up the insides regularly?”

McCree felt a faint heat rise to his cheeks. “Um, a check-up…u-update?” He didn’t even know that was a thing he needed to do. The cowboy figured greasing the joints once a year would be sufficient, but seeing the look on your face now made him feel guilty for not taking better care of it.

“No wonder you’re having trouble…”, you sighed. From your inner pocket, you pulled out a PDA and conjured up the software menu. “Listen Jesse, I’m gonna update your system and close this up, but after lunch you have to go see the grumpy IKEA-knome about a new model, a'ight?”

He nodded and watched you work over your shoulder. While the PDA managed the update, you took your time cleaning out and greasing the inside components. It was surprising how gentle your touch was. You knew he couldn’t feel a thing, but McCree got the impression that you were treating the artificial arm with the same care you would one of flesh and blood. The precision you displayed while working was amazing as well, and Jesse found he liked the way your brow creased when you worked on a particularly tricky bundle of tech. You bit your bottom lip and his heart made a little jump.

Shit. He looked away. If you didn’t stop that adorable nonsense soon, Jesse was sure he’d have a heart attack. McCree could smooth-talk his way into anyone’s pants, but here he was, blushing like a school boy because you were biting your lip. It also didn’t help that you were literally sitting on his lap in the middle of a crowded cafeteria. Why’d you have to be so darn cute? He scraped his throat and shifted in his seat a tad, careful not to disturb your position too much. After the red on his cheeks had faded, he dared look at you again and watched, utterly mesmerized, as you took him apart and put him back together again.

A good hour later, the update had finished and you were piling the exposed wiring back into the metal housing. Somewhere along the way, his human hand had found its place on your left hip, loosely draping around your waist. By the time you were done, you were absolutely covered in grease from head to toe. McCree had to resist wiping the inky black streak off your right cheek. It was a good thing one of his limbs was immobilized or he probably would have made this situation very awkward.

Warmth began flooding back into McCree’s arm as you rebooted the system. Taking it one finger at a time, he managed to start moving it again. “Damn, darlin’,” he let out, holding up his tech arm and playing with the digits, testing them. The rolled the joints and snapped his fingers, pleased at the lack of resistance he encountered. The movement was smooth and light, almost like he’d gotten an entirely new prosthetic.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Ya did a mighty fine job. Way better than Torb whackin’ at it with a hammer…certainly more gentle, if I may be so bold t'say. Thanks, (Y/n).”

“You’re welcome,” you smiled, shoving your equipment back into the work satchel on your belt. A quick glance at the clock told you lunch time had come and gone while you’d worked on the arm and you sighed. “Crap. Back to work, then.” You stood up, leaving his lap, and gathered your forgotten lunch. “You owe me a warm meal, cowboy.”

McCree rose to his feet and playfully tipped his hat. The better part of him knew he had to nip this crush in the bud before it got out of hand, but McCree decided to just say ‘fuck it’. You were just too darn cute to let slip; a little crazy (with the screwdriver stabbing and all), but cute nonetheless. With all the courage he could muster, the cowboy conjured a dazzling smirk and turned to face you. “Well, then I’d just have to take ya out t'dinner tonight then.”

He almost sank into the floor when you winked at him and gladly accepted his offer, just like that. God, you were going to be the death of him.

Author’s note:

I’ve been staring at this fic all day and it’s not getting any better, so frickfrackfuckit. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, so I hope you guys liked this!

Love, Corbeau! 

Somehow, without posting any content aside from our audition notice and answering some questions, Crossing Wires has almost 100 followers!

Thank you so much for supporting this new podcast. We’re so excited about this project, and it’s nice to know we’re not the only ones!

It may be the apocalypse, but at least we’re all in this together.

Auditions are still open until May 31st!
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[I]t is actually more expensive to be poor than not poor. If you can’t afford the first month’s rent and security deposit you need in order to rent an apartment, you may get stuck in an overpriced residential motel. If you don’t have a kitchen or even a refrigerator and microwave, you will find yourself falling back on convenience store food, which—in addition to its nutritional deficits—is also alarmingly overpriced. If you need a loan, as most poor people eventually do, you will end up paying an interest rate many times more than what a more affluent borrower would be charged. To be poor—especially with children to support and care for—is a perpetual high-wire act.
4

I’m sorry.

(Our wired coms have been acting up all day. They’ve just made a farting sound)

Head LX: Just make sure to do a ‘check check’ after you hear that noise.

ASM: (on a wireless headset) I didn’t hear a noise.

SM: Basically…they’re possessed by a three year old.

Rather than getting vague and repetitive on a handful of asks about Robert’s Rebellion, this is an explanation of my current best guess at how Rhaegar seems to have been thinking. Obviously there’s plenty we don’t know and a lot of ways to fill in those gaps. But, assuming only that the information presented in WOIAF is accurate, there is one discernible pattern here: Rhaegar was a world-class choke artist.

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anonymous asked:

Since robot dick was created to basically be a human does that mean his balls are filled with little robot tadpoles? Or are they empty? Could he use them as a secret pouch to store stuff in?

A secret pouch omfg.

He shoots blanks. There’s no DNA in his sperm!

They are realistic as they can be and contain sensor and wiring to make them act real.