You eventually made it home, you felt both physically and emotionally worn out. You couldn’t tell anymore if you were crying or if it was just the heavy raindrops falling off the soaked tips of your fringe.
Either way, you felt tormented. Tormented by the word ‘love’; tormented by the word ‘soul mate’; tormented by the unjustified and overwhelming feelings for Sebastian you’d been burdened by for so many years. In a way, you could actually assume that you’d always felt this way.
Back when you and Sebastian were children, you’d never let him play with other girls because the two of you had gotten married under the swings. Obviously that meant he was cheating on you if he dared play with any other girl. And it didn’t stop there, every time you saw him with a girl you’d feel a little jealous. You thought that during college you’d sobered up with age, with the added effect of knowing you’d always be his first kiss, date, and love. But after what had just happened, you realised the only reason you never felt jealous during college was because Seb had been concentrating solely on trying to get you to be his girlfriend. You’d just been too stupid to realise, your insecurities getting in the way.
Like most teenagers, you’d shared your fair share of self-hatred. The only difference is that you had Sebastian with you every step of the way. Never did he help you out just because he wanted to date you. And never did he once say to you that he deserved you as a girlfriend because he was a ‘nice guy’.
Tears began to fill your eyes as the phrase ‘you never know what you have until it’s gone’ passed through your thoughts.
Getting changed out of your wet clothes was a difficult and slow process. You knew that you should probably go and have a bath but everything just felt so… pointless.
It really was like a part of your soul had been ripped apart and taken away. Though you suppose that’s the point of a soul mate. You share everything with them, even your spirit. And so when they go, it’s like half of you is gone as well, all you’re left with are the defected remains.
Sleep was another thing which felt too pointless of a thing to do. That was mostly out of self-hatred though. You knew that Sebastian was hurting just as much as you were, perhaps even more because he had been trying to date you for ages, and you finally came round to the idea right as he was about to get engaged and promise his heart to someone else.
Instead of sleeping you ast on the couch and thought over the past, present and future. You thought about all the times you’d shared with Seb and how you’d poisoned those moments with your latest mistake. And you thought about the future you were incapable of having because of it. You got so lost in these simple fantasies of holding hands and sharing a bed, that when you fantasized about Sebastian arriving at your door and revealing that he still loved you, it sounded like your apartment door was actually being knocked on.
It wasn’t until the knocks started to become more aggressive that you realised it wasn’t just in your dream that this was happening.
Standing up, you tepidly began to walk over to the door. You’d only managed to open it a crack when (the one and only) Sebastian Stan entered the room.
“Hello!” He greeted whilst stumbling his way to the kitchen, looking very much like a man on a mission.
You guessed where he was going seconds before he made it to his destination. Under the sink in a cupboard there was a bottle of southern comfort which Seb had given you after the you failed another date. Attacked to the bottle were the words: FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY.
Seb had told you very strictly when he gifted you the bottle, “this drink is for when I’m not here to comfort you okay? Bad dates, failed job interviews and family or friend fall outs. Got it?” You’d nodded your head but he didn’t fully trust that you’d refrain from drinking when you just wanted to get drunk for fun and so he put the post-it note on. After that it had become some sort of good luck charm as you’d never had to actually drink from it.
Present Sebastian was quick to pull the note off the bottle, scrunching it up and putting it in the bin.
“Seb,” you mumbled, feeling nervous and with good reason. “What are you doing here?”
He drank straight from the bottle, after you’d finished speaking he placed the bottle back onto the kitchen counter and looked at you with surprise, acting almost like he’d forgotten you were even there which hurt your feelings a bit.
His eyes scanned your body, “damn, you look really good right now,” he sighed out in a dream-like tone.
This caused you to cross your arms over the front of your body. You’d changed into a tank top and shorts after turning the temperature in your apartment up pretty high so you could warm yourself up after standing around in the rain for so long. “Seb…”
His eyes softened for a moment when he noticed how vulnerable you looked (and felt) then his face once again filled with the same determination he’d entered your apartment with. His eyebrows scrunched together and his iris’ lit up, meanwhile his lips fell into a straight line.
“Can you sit down please?” He requested, “I need to say some things to you.”
This did nothing but assist in making your nervous emotions grow larger but, out of respect and your inability to actually speak, you did as he asked and laced yourself down onto the middle of the sofa, sitting right on the edge of the seat.
Sebastian took another two gulps from the bottle before following you into the living room so that he could stand across from you. He didn’t actually speak for the first few minutes. On his walk over to your house however, he’d had plenty to say in his head, but now that he was here he had no idea where to even start with all the thoughts running around his brain.
“So,” you coughed out after another minute of complete silence.
“First things first,” he interrupted, beginning to wave a very wobbly finger in your direction. “I’m very sorry for yelling at you, it was uncalled for and very mean of me.”
You were very grateful that he’d started with that as it eased you into the conversation rather than scaring you off. “Apology accepted, “ you nodded at Seb so that he’d continue.
He nodded back at you, grateful that you’d accepted the apology. “Secondly, I never went back home. I can’t face her right now, you’ve really messed up my head and I feel really lost because of it.”
You gulped and put your head down. You’d not at all been thinking about how it would affect Seb when you called him and asked him to meet you at your bench. You’d been more concerned with freeing yourself from all the pent up feelings you’d been storing over the years. You thought it would be better to free yourself, but now you were experiencing a newer and fresher kind of pain you very much did not want.
“But, and this is my third point, I still truly believe that we are soulmates. I believe that I share a connection with you that I’ll never be able to share with anyone else. I love you, ever since we got married under the swings as kids, and I’m afraid I’ll never stop loving you.” He moved even closer towards you, getting down on his knees so that you were fully able to see his bright eyes that were filled with something you’d seen a lot before but never been able to name until then. Love.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked.
‘No!’ Your body screamed. Every part of your body revolted. there were so many factors to back up that decision as well: He was drunk, he was still with his girlfriend, you would only get more hooked, Sebastian may regret it in the morning.
Yet despite all these countless reasons, the closer Sebastian got you, the more you started to agree with the part of your body that was screaming ‘yes’ at the top of it’s voice. Your soul.
“Still not convinced?” He asked, noticing that you’d gone as still as a rock. Even so, he remained on his knees with his lips a mere centimetre away from yours. “Then let me tell you my final point, I promise you that even when I’m sober tomorrow morning and I also promise you that if you ask me to, then I will leave her. I’ve wanted to be with you for years, I know it’s cruel to her but… the heart wants what the heart wants. So just ask me to leave her.”
Your eyes widened at that, but as you looked at his, he had a surprisingly composed and serious expression (surprising because he’d arrived acting like a drunken fool). You didn’t know what to say. Another wave of sickness and happiness hit you all at the same time. He wanted you, but did you want to risk both your lives on something? Even if you were soul mates, the future is a blank page and that terrified you.
“Ask me, Y/N.” He repeated. “Ask me.”
Normally people never read the part two and so I’ve decided to make a rule that I’ll only do a part three if over ten people request for it so… part three?
You want to kick yourself for making Bucky leave your room. Pressing your body impossibly deeper into the cold window, you look around the room. You have absolutely nothing with you, all the guns and weapons are in a bag that’s right behind Feliks.
“Come next to me, honey.” You look at him while he holds his hand for you.
Swallowing, you walk while ignoring his hand until your are in front of him. Your back is facing his chest and a shiver runs down your spine when you feel his hands on your shoulders. Immediately, your body tense and you feel a low chuckle behind you.
“I can’t believe you are still so scared of me after all the presents I gave you.” Feliks massages your shoulders and you try to keep your breath steady. “I love you, but you hate me. We should do something to fix that, my sweet.”
You close your hands into fists and take a deep breath. You could just turn around and punch him in the face, but if he gets pissed off you are dead. The bag with all the weapons is too far for you to reach it and you definitely can’t scream for help, that would be too dangerous. Feliks’ hands leave your body and he walks around you, positioning himself in front of you.
“I’m not here to fight you, (Y/N). All in due time.” He walks closer to you, his left hand on your cheek. “But I do want to ask you something. Why him?” You look at his eyes with your brows furrowed. “Why James Buchanan Barnes? He’s stupid and broken. He doesn’t know anything about this damn world, he can’t even trust himself. I would never do what he did to you. I would never avoid you. I would kiss you every single day of the week, no matter what.”
“Why? You don’t want me to tell you the truth? You don’t want me to tell you that he doesn’t love you? That he doesn’t even like you?”
“You’re lying.” You don’t have the strength to talk and it comes out as a little whisper.
“Am I? C’mon, (Y/N), you and I both know that the super-soldier has been playing with you.” Feliks’ voice is low and almost soft.“I would never do that, I would take good care of you. The only thing you have to do is come with me.”
His hand leaves your cheek and he pushes you to the window, your body slamming against the glass making you whimper. Scared, you look at his eyes. They are full of anger and he looks like he could kill you in any moment.
“No?” Feliks’ jaw is clenched and you take a deep breath, trying to find your strength.
Feliks lets out a creepy and devious chuckle that makes your whole body shiver.
“Okay. I didn’t want to do this, but since you made your decision, I’ll have to. I’m sorry.” He lets go of you and leans in, his mouth in your ear. “I’ll have to turn your life into a damn nightmare, sweetheart.”
He quickly steps back and walks out the room, disappearing into the hallways of the hotel. You let out the breath you were holding and put your hands on your face. You try to process what just happened and swallow the knot in your throat. Hearing someone enter the room, you look up scared only to see Nat and Wanda. You let out a sigh of relieve when you see the two girls looking weirdly at you.
“Is everything okay, (Y/N)?” Wanda asks you softly while approaching you.
“Feliks. He was here.” The girls have a look of concern on their face.
“I’m going to call the guys.” You nod at Nat and Wanda sits down on the bed, bringing you to her and hugging you.
When the boys arrive to your room you prepare yourself to explain to them the situation that just happened.
“He was here. When Bucky left the room, he came in.” Bucky furrows his brows.
“How is that possible? I didn’t see anyone on the hallway.”
“I don’t know, but he was here. He told me that he was going to turn my life into a nightmare…”
“He’s in love with me and he got mad because, uhm… He thinks I’m in love with Bucky.” You don’t dare to look at the blue eyed man, you don’t dare to look at anybody.
“I think it’s best if you go back to the Tower, (Y/N).” Steve speaks softly to you. “Nat, Sam and I can handle this mission. Wanda, Buck, take her back.”
They both nod at the Captain’s petition and you let out a breath, already wanting to leave this hotel.
During the flight, the three of you are quiet. Wanda gets up saying she has to go to the bathroom, leaving you and Bucky alone. You know she is not in the bathroom, she’s just waiting for you two to talk again. You sigh, avoiding to look at the man next to you.
“So, he hates you just because you like me?” Your head snaps back at Bucky, a little smirk on his face.
“He hates me because he thinks I like you.” You give him a fake smile and look in front of you again.
“Oh, so you don’t like me?”
“Can we leave this conversation for another time, please?” You rest your head in the palm of your face and hear Bucky sighing.
“No. You always push things back, why do you that? We are not teenagers, (Y/N). We can talk about things without being embarrassed or weird about it.” You can feel the annoyance in Bucky’s tone and you turn to him.
“You want to talk now? Okay, let’s talk.” Looking at his eyes, you feel the anger going through your body. “Let’s talk about the fact that since that fucking morning that you decided to ask a stupid question about my boobs, your whole attitude towards me changed. Let’s talk about how you wouldn’t stop with your stupid, flirty, unnecessary comments. Let’s talk about what happened in the hotel, you remember it? I’m sure you do, it was the night I met Feliks and the night that we almost had fucking sex while he was passed out in a chair. Let’s talk about the fact that you let me sleep with you during all these days, cuddling with me and treating me like a freaking girlfriend but when I finally had the damn guts to reach out for you, you pushed me back. You were the one who pushed me away, Bucky. So excuse me if I don’t want to talk about how humiliated, stupid and crushed I felt that night.”
Bucky looks at you with a surprised expression on his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting that answer. You raise your brows, waiting for him to say something, but he keeps quiet, his eyes never leaving yours. Finally, you turn your face looking once again in front of you. After a few minutes of really awkward silence, Wanda comes in with a big smile that quickly fades when she sees your face. Luckily, she doesn’t ask any questions, although you know that she is probably reading your mind.
When you arrive back to the tower, you storm off the jet trying to get to your room as fast as possible. But, you stop your steps when you enter the living room. Everything is a mess, the couches are broken, the lights are flickering and the windows’ glasses are smashed.
“What the hell…” You hear Bucky’s voice behind you.
“Do you think this is Feliks?” Wanda puts her hand on your shoulder and you nod, walking to your room.
They follow you through the hallways of the tower. Finally, you reach your bedroom. The door is broken and Wanda moves it of the way with her powers. Your room is also a mess but there’s something that creeps you out. The Polaroids that were in the red box you found at the park are now pinned to the wall. Red crosses cover the images and you swallow while you see words written in your wall, right above the pics. Your time is over.
“This man is crazy.” You hear Bucky’s voice while Wanda just hugs you sideways.
It’s like your eyes are glued to the wall. You can’t stare at anything else and the words just go through your mind constantly. Your time is over. Does that mean that you’re going to die? That Feliks will come to get you? Maybe he tries to take you with him, torture you and make your life a living hell. You take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are an Avenger, there’s nothing that can hurt you. You look at Bucky, his worried eyes making you want to hug him and assure him that you’re fine. Your head snaps back to the wall, but this time you look carefully at the images. You walk closer to them, separating yourself from Wanda.
Every single picture is different, but they have something in common. The first one is when you first arrived to the Avengers tower, more concretely, it was the moment Steve introduced you to Bucky. The second one is during a mission. You can see yourself pointing your gun to someone, it was the first mission you were in and you remember that you shot one of Hydra’s guards that was trying to kill Bucky. The third one, is when you and the team went to a bar to grab some drinks and have a good time. You are laughing in the picture and you remember that was the first time you really talked with Bucky. Going through every picture, you realized all of this are moments that you spent with Bucky. Except for the last one, the one that you appear at the park, all the other pics show when you did something that was related, in some way, with the super-soldier.
Quickly, it all clicks perfectly on your head. You turn back and look at Wanda. There’s a look of terror on her eyes and you know that she’s on your mind. The both of you look at Bucky, he’s grabbing some of your necklaces from the floor and putting them carefully on your little, white dressing table. You watch how he picks up one photo from the floor. It’s your favorite photo so far. All of the Avengers smiling happily to the camera after the massive civil war between Steve and Tony was over. It was a really beautiful moment. Bucky smiles when he sees that the pic is not damaged and puts it on the table, caressing slightly the photo. You bit your lip and look back at Wanda. She looks down, already knowing what that message means.
°stucky things i didn’t expect to see in cw bc theyre super gay°
~elevator eye sex~
°steve holding a soaking wet bucky back to chest
°sam giving their heart eyes a Wtf is this look
°steve forcing bucky to admit why he pulled him from the river bc love
°steve looking back at bucky as they take him away like if he takes his eyes off bucky he’ll disappear for good this time
°buckys tiny journal of steve things
°the wrinkled and bookmarked brochure
°the two of them reminiscing over good times even though the world is after them
°steve becoming a fugitive and criminal for bucky
°sam p.much telling them both that the accords bs isnt the real war, the other is and this is why theyre fighting (it’s personal)
~desperate must-touch-you shoulder squeeze and silent reminder of vows~
°steve being salty over bucky flirting w/a girl in front of him over 70 years ago and bucky giving him a ‘god I fucking love you’ look over it
°bucky remembering newspaper in steves shoes but not that girls name, sadly smiling over remembering tiny steve like he did back in '43
°bucky actually admitting he doesnt (and prob never has) felt like he was worth fighting for
°steves heartbreaking reaction to that, how he takes a min to figure out what bucky needs to hear vs what steve wants to say
°bucky pinning steve to the ground with his body
°bucky jealously and bitterly watching the staron kiss
°steve keeping his hands in his pockets @ the end bc otherwise he’d touch bucky
°steve watching bucky on every camera angle when zemo was in there
°steve nearly killing tony bc he hurt bucky
°bucky nearly killing tony bc he hurt steve
°the two of them being a power couple in general
°steve confiding in wanda that the mere mention of buckys name makes him feel 16 again
°bucky and steve leaving together as a unit while an injured tony watches
°bucky pointing a gun @ tony just in case he tried shit
°bucky automatically aiming that gun within seconds of the first time tony hurts steve
°nat letting them run away together and telling steve she knows how much bucky means to him
°steve SMILING and meaning it
°both instinctively pulling the other behind steves shield
°bucky no longer kills people etc but he rejoins the fight w/steve just like he did in '43
°missions w/just the two of them including the jet that they stole
°the two of them breaking so many laws together
°tony realizing he’s only just now seeing the real steve and it’s only bc of bucky (“the whole world was wrong about you”)
°steve asking bucky (prob for the 3rd time or so) if he really wants to go back into cryo
°steve stealing an suv and chasing after bucky in hopes of getting to him before t'challa/rhodey etc
°steve telling bucky to run (while steve fights off men who are chasing bucky)
°steve in buckys apartment; his safe place. bucky not kicking him out or attacking
°steve cautiously inching closer to him in the apt
°steve cockily looking @ bucky after scott gropes him
°bucky on steves left, always
°steve letting bucky physically hurt him again yet still loving him the same as he always has
°steve sneaking bucky into wakanda and p.much asking t'challa to 'please keep him safe for me’
°the contrast of sams 'yeeeeah!’ face and buckys 'kill me’ expression @ the staron kiss
°steve dropping who he is and almost everyone in his life just to keep bucky
°steve verbally defending bucky to tony even as he knew about buckys victims and the starks; steve loving bucky unconditionally
°buckys tearing up when steve calls him his friend
°steves entire attitude of 'bucky has never did anything wrong ever, in his whole life’ much to the irritation of team iron man and the gov
~the airport eye sex and heavy breathing~
°sharing the shield like a cute lil murderous couple and seamlessly working together like they’d never stopped
°sharon seeing how sad and desperately steve was watching bucky on the cameras and pressing the audio button for him
i could go on tbh. what it all comes down to is this movie was not about staron or buckynat, it was about steve and bucky choosing each other over and over. it was steve proving to bucky just how important and loved he is; how he was worth every sacrifice. and in the end it was about selflessly loving one another enough to let go even though it hurt like hell. truly a stucky movie 💯
The page that Zemo reads from is supposed to contain the trigger words. But it also seems that there’s a drawing of an eye with instructions and explanations and the note on the bottom of the left page says “7 …(adjective, the kind of stitches I assume) stitches are situated relative to the center of the eye”. So imagine they had to operate on Bucky to ensure that those trigger words stick, among other horrible things. Now excuse me, I’m gonna go cry in the corner.
Hey babes. I was wondering if you’d write a fic where Bucky
really wants kids and (y/n) isn’t sure yet. So they move in together and set up
their lives. Then (y/n) finally caves in and they try for a baby. Then they get
invited over to see the avengers because they haven’t seen them in a while and
everyone’s really shocked to see (y/n)’s pregnancy belly. And the avengers are
just really shocked because they didn’t announce the pregnancy, they just
showed up. Please and thanks xoxoxox.
Bucky x Reader. SUPER FLUFFY WITH SOME SMUT. Word count: 4.1K (I liked this request and got a little carried away)
TW: sex, childbirth
“Bucky, I just don’t know, okay? I love you, it’s just that
kids don’t really seem like a good idea. Not considering your line of work,”
you said, washing the dishes as Bucky dried them. It was Sunday, which meant
‘family dinner’ with the team, and the two of you got stuck on dish duty.
“I know, which is why I’ve been thinking…” said Bucky, his
sentence trailing off as he paused and turned to you.
When you woke up the
next morning the warm feeling of Bucky’s body sleeping at your side made you
smile. You kissed his naked chest, right where his metallic arm connected to
his flesh and danced your fingers on his skin. The night before, after you two
cuddled Bucky made his way down and things got a little bit, way too, heated up. You laughed softly
at the memory of how his hands, and his entire body made you feel. You kissed
your way up to his chin and lips and he slowly opened his eyes. A smirk across
his lips and sleepy voice made you feel weak one again.
“Good morning doll” he
said and peeked your lips. Trailed his hands to your naked body and hugged you
tightly by his side.