Summary: This one I almost didn’t want to write, but it’s prevalent to the story and vital info in here, so it had to be included. There’s no warnings I can think of. Sam finds you in a bar after the incident in the gym and convinces you it might be time to talk to someone about what’s happening. That’s the best summary I can give right now.
The bar was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday evening. You’d been here for a couple hours now and the crowd hadn’t grown all that much as you watched from your worn out barstool. The amber liquid was burning less and less with every sip you took from the tumbler in front of you.
Was this your 7th? Maybe 8th? You’ve been here too long now and your drinks were starting to blur together.
It’s been a long time since you’ve drank this much. You’d made it a point since you’d left your early-twenties that you would be more mature, more responsible, less…drunk.
But tonight, oh boy, tonight you were going to do whatever you could to numb this agony residing deep in your chest. Bucky’s words were so fresh as they replayed in your ears over and over.
“…only one desperate enough to keep coming back…”
Well, if he hadn’t hit the nail right on the head with that one, huh? You were desperate. You were pathetic. You were not worthy. You were weak.
01. longing: first word. trigger of the process. he screams, not from pain, but horror because he is still aware of what’s happening to him and knows what comes next.
02. rusted: sense of hopelessness kicks in. realization that he cannot escape the chains, knowing he will turn into a puppet, a monster.
03. seventeen: tries to breathe, to stay focused, calm, to slow down the process, but knows it’s inevitable.
04. daybreak: first painful trigger. word that can be connected to the torture he is enduring or painful memory from the long lost past. tries with everything he has to hold onto his soul.
the winter soldier is trying to come to the surface, we see last real struggle of bucky barnes to stay himself.
06. nine: takes five words to delete bucky barnes from existence, but the process is not over just yet. pain is gone, and so are memories, heart, soul of someone who was not so long ago kind and loyal. the winter soldier hasn’t shown his face yet, this is in between phase, where shell of a human being is full of rage. wrath is first emotion that leads to the winter soldier.
07. benign: slowly becomes blank piece of paper that is ready for the last words before turning into a weapon. doesn’t struggle any longer, hands are not trying to break free, he is where he belongs.
08. homecoming: body is giving its all not to become the other, more vindictive, vicious, dangerous person. there is no bucky, just one last piece of conscious human mind trying not to give into torture. first sighting of the winter soldier. ultimate trigger that pushes him to the surface.
09. one: next to last stage. no conscious mind left. shaking and trembling have stopped. breathing slows down. machine is born.
10. freight car: words attached to his death, symbolize death of a human being, friend, brother, loved one, and birth of the weapon. every emotion, memory, sense of being self aware is buried deep down and it will take a long time before any of those resurface again. breathes in new air. eyes become dead. the winter soldier is ready for orders.
Ella era una hermosa metáfora.
Ella era poesía misteriosa.
Para descubirla y decifrarla tenías que buscar significados en cada verso y estrofa.
Era un poema frío pero con sentimiento.
Mirarla causaba dolor, tristeza y distancia hacia a su persona.
Pero cuando hablabas con ella, cuando la comenzabas a conocer te dabas cuenta que las apariencias engañan.
Que en fin de cuentas si tenía algo calido en sus adentros y era su alma.