So my newly-obsessed-with-figure-skating ass just rewatched Disney’s “Ice Princess”
…and I had a lot of thoughts as I watched. Which I will now list. And they probably won’t make sense. Especially if you haven’t ever watched the movie. Okay, here we go, under the cut:
Before I even start, thank GOD they refer to FS as a sport because I will literally punch any of the idiots who think figure skaters are not athletes
Okay, how the fuck has she never fallen into that pond she skates on?? That is dangerous af what the actual fuck??? What if the ice is too thin??
Oh wow okay I actually know what these jumps are called now shit wow
I remember when I was little and I used to think these girls were so bitchy and stuck up with all the calorie counting and training but like??? what they’re saying is 100% true and valid??? considering they’re proper figure skaters doing like triple jumps and shit??
Wtf how do these girls have the time to go to high school if they’re training on such a high level??
Also, how are these girls juniors if they’re like 17ish?? Realistically, wouldn’t they already be in the senior division by now?? The max age for juniors is 18. Ummm, okay then…?
Ahhh the beloved butt pads. I need that for my everyday life tbh.
Omg but like I love how Casey is applying physics to 2005 figure skating because imagine if she were doing the same in this quadpocalyptic era that is Nathan and Shoma and Yuzuru and the rest of sQUAD
Yuzu: “Scientifically, 5 rotations in the air are possible, someone told me.” Was that someone Casey Carlyle?
I remember there were so many physics things from this movie that I used to think were super smart but were actually common sense
Okay but Nikki (Flying Shrimp) is literally Yulia Lipnitskaya who is literally Yuri Plisetsky LMAO
Wait… this is actually so perfect:
Yurio is Nikki because obviously
Yuuri is Tiffany simply because she’s the Asian For Diversity™
Victor is Gen because feeling uninspired and no longer wanting to compete? Retiring and having fun instead? Yeah that’s Binktop for you.
Otabek is Casey because he was also like an underdog and newcomer and whatnot and yeah it makes sense okay?
Yakov is the coach and Lilia is Casey’s mom
JJ is Zoey, but more annoying. Way more annoying.
(So like Ice Princess but more realistic and more gay)
I NEED THIS AU WITH A BURNING PASSION
Okay one does not simply go from landing a single to a double to a triple in the span of less than a year of proper training exCUSE ME??
SHE’S LITERALLY BEEN DOING BALLET FOR ONLY A MONTH WTF
She should’ve just gone to Harvard honestly smh
I mean, she could go to Harvard and still skate, unless that was somehow made illegal and I wasn’t aware. Like, obvi she couldn’t skate to the extent of what she’d doing now, but, like, IT’S HARVARD
(or maybe that’s just my asian-ness talking)
OKAY NO how does a Zamboni come all the way to her house, into her backyard, and onto the aforementioned dangerous af frozen pond??
OMFG MICHELLE KWAN AND BRIAN BOITANO ARE IN THIS WHAT AND I ACTUALLY KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE AHHHSDFGHJKL
Michelle Kwan aka most decorated US figure skater E V E R??
Brian Boitano aka creator of our favorite anime otaku Evgenia Medvedeva’s beloved Tano jump?? aka half of the Brian Rivalry™ (the other being Brian Orser, coach of team Orser, team of Yuzu and Javi)???
WOW and this was made in 2005, when Michelle Kwan was current and record breaking and history making I’M SHOOK
okay what why did the lighting change when she went out to skate THIS IS A FREE SKATE NOT A FUCKING EXHIBITION
No stop I’m so done goodbye. Can someone please. Explain to me. Why there aRE LYRICS IN THE MUSIC IF THIS WAS MADE IN 2005??? EXCUSE ME????? Lyrics weren’t allowed till like 2014. Umm bye.
Okay wtf where did all these triples come from? When did she learn these?? How did neither her coach nor any rinkmates know about it???? Please movie, I’m really trying here. But you gotta give me at least a semblance of realistic content to work with. Please.
“This does take her to nationals, and who knows, maybe the 2006 Olympics?“ said Michelle Kwan, internally screaming, because EXCUSE ME BUT REALITY CHECK THAT’S NOT HOW THE WORLD WORKS YOU DONT GO TO OLYMPIC LEVEL BY SKATING AT A PROPER RINK FOR JUST A YEAR, BARELY WORKING OUT, AND ONLY JUST RECENTLY STARTING BALLET.
JESUS CHRIST this is an insult to actual figure skaters who dedicate their lives to the sport. You know what the protagonist dedicated her life to? HARVARD. Where she should’ve gone.
Yes, I am a horrible person and a killer of dreams.
I knew this movie was gonna eventually make me lose my chill, and yet I watched it anyway, because I hate myself
Final verdict: This movie did not deserve to have actual Olympic champion figure skaters in it.
so I saw this au where there was a countdown on someone’s wrist to the moment they meet their soulmate and I’m a sucker for soulmate and muggle au’s so I decided to write one! I might do one in Harry’s POV if y’all want me to. Enjoy!
3 minutes and 34 seconds. The nerves were growing inside him. Draco had always strived to look his best, however this morning nothing seemed right. Even though his hair was perfectly styled and he tried to look casual but not too casual (even though the man almost always wore a suit). Today he wore a white button up under a black blazer and black skinny jeans. Draco didn’t think it was possible for someone to feel overdressed and underdressed at the same time, but that’s what he was feeling.
He’s been born into it, the cold cathedral walls of order and humility, the black and white reality. His childhood has been a soldier’s stance, his mother’s sharp tongue and discipline still ingrained into him to this very day. Between the blue-tinted corridors and occasional trips to Idris, his whole life has played out without his input, because the eldest child wears the heavy crown of responsibility.
His life has been endless hours of studies and twice as much time spent training, until breathing burned his lungs and his knuckles turned into a kaleidoscope of bruises beneath the shattered light in the colors of the stained glass windows. His childhood was never truly his own, instead it belonged to his parents, stern-faced and cutting cold, because ‘mistake’ was not a word he was allowed to speak.