winning sburb

Ectobiology And Learning How To Perform CPR On A Baby

Ectobiology is the science of cloning, breeding, and genetic modification of an organism using appearification! Typically the one who has to partake in this activity within the session is the session’s designated leader of the SBURB players! Several of the machines needed for the tasks to complete ectobiology are located all over the universe and there seems to typically be more than one of each piece, so I wouldn’t worry too much if yours gets caught in a random explosion of any type. The paradox ghost slime that gets appearified contains the genetic code of the living organism you were attempting to clone. The equipment does most of the work, analyzing the slime and extracting the genome inside to produce replicas or new breeds of species.

Ectobiology does not, however, have to be done only on humans or trolls! For science reasons, you can utilize ectobiology on anything living! For example, our lovely Mutie was an imperfect cloning attempt of Jasper’s paradox ghost imprint, and in imperfect cloning attempts, strange mutations may occur, such as Mutie’s extra eyes!

The process of ectobiology isn’t very difficult in the first place, as you basically are just picking a point in time and space and creating paradox slime from attempting to appearify something that cannot be appearified at that time, such as when Rose tried to appearify Jasper before Roxy would later actually succeed in appearifying him. Then, the Ectobiology Apparatus will intentionally vacuum this slime into tubes, in which there is typically enough tubes for the paradox ghost slime of their current session and their scratch session. Space players will get a similar machine, but one that is specifically utilized for frog breeding. Please for the love of all Genesis Frogs, do not get these mixed up. DO NOT.

Now, if I am honest with you guys, I think the hardest part of all the ectobiology is becoming a temporary parent until the babies are prepped for being shipped back in time on a meteor!

Things I would recommend for leaders to partake in:

  1. Learn how to conduct CPR on babies. It’s so useful since you dont know whats going to be laying around on your planet or what the consorts may attempt to feed them (most of the time its bugs and that’s really gross to know your friend ate a bug once or that your friend let it happen so just don’t).

  2. Carry around one of those mom bags. Y’know the giant bags new moms carry around filled with diapers and formula and bottles and all that stuff? Yeah if the babies are sticking around more than a day you will need this. Desperately.

  3. Create a list of emergency numbers and a list of the best babysitters of the incipisphere. Trust me.

  4. No matter how tempting it may be, do not let the babies near their strife specibus. Please, take it from the girl who’s strife specibus is ScissorKind. Do not let your baby near the strife specibi.  

  5. Give the babies all the affection! I don’t care if your matesprit is super jealous afterwards, just kiss them all over and cuddle them because babies love kisses!.. Unless they don’t, in which you can interact with the child from a distance utilizing silly faces and singing songs!

  6. Send them on the meteor ASAP, please do not keep them past a few months, in which case you might risk causing a Doomed Session by missing the meteors that you need for sending them back in time on Earth.

  7. Never. Take. Your. Eyes. Off. The. Baby. Even if you need to reread this guide, if you have the babies already, DO NOT LOOK AWAY.

And now some words of wisdom from my friend, my session’s leader, Alex!

“for some reason ectobabies are far more advanced than regular babies in terms of like, acrobatics and shit”
“they climb on everything“
“broken glass tubes? look at my new home”
“oh you have a shelf that shouldn’t be able to be climbed?”
“guess what bitch“
“little shits“

Anyways, I think that sums it up! Good luck to your session and please remember the basic rules!

-Mod Ama, who’s birthday is today

I quit writing Homestuck meta a long time ago, but I guess the pre-4/13 fervor is infectious, because this popped into my head and wouldn’t go away. So here’s some musings on Homestuck, the ending, and its portrayal (or rather, erasure) of character identity and agency.  

Let’s rewind back several years and a few subsubacts, to the meteor and battleship crews’ not so triumphant arrival in the combined session. Two of the kids’ number have been mind-controlled and forced to work for the Empress. Two have been thrown in prison. One has been banished to the outer reaches of space. The rest have been divvied up and placed on various Lands, given different tasks to be completed for the Empress. Even in beating SBURB and winning the game they have no escape, because she intends to rule the new universe they create… until it spawns Lord English and is destroyed.

Things look bleak. And things look even bleaker when Game Over rolls around, and most of the cast gets exterminated. But wait! John Egbert, Heir of Breath and leader of the Beta session, has gotten his hands on a miraculous artifact supposedly useful as a weapon against Lord English. He now has the ability to travel throughout time and space and to change things that usually cannot be changed. While his friends get wiped out, he fights the “tyrannous author” figure who has been telling their story wrong and wins. Surely with his newfound abilities, he will set things right and lead them to freedom.

Except.  Not really.

Oh sure, John “saves the day”. He uses his retcon abilities to create a new timeline where everyone lives and wins the game. But is it a victory? And did everyone really live?

I’m going to argue that the ending of Homestuck is a tragedy where characters’ identities are frequently ignored or overwritten in order to serve the utilitarian aims of the narrative (and Skaia). I do not make this argument believing Hussie intended it. I think the dip in quality and coherency at the end of Homestuck was the product of an author who was tired of his project, had lost track of a bunch of plot points and characters, and just wanted to be finished. But I do think its treatment of identity is drastically different from the rest of the work and sends some disturbing messages about how “happy” that ending really is.

Keep reading

tkrm231  asked:

Hello friend I have a question for you. In you personal opinion which classpect, excluding the master classes, do you think could single-handedly win sburb/sgrub? Also which species (humans, trolls, and cherubs) has or had a more likely chance of winning the game or is more capable of winning??

oooooooo this is a good ask. if any of y’all have questions like these, I love these hypotheticals.

We don’t know much about single-player sessions aside from a few details

- They’re called “Dead Sessions”

- The rules are completely different than a regular Sburb sessions

- The game becomes about learning to rule and conquer rather than create a new universe. The reward becomes self-serving (unconditional immortality) rather than for a common or greater good (creating a new universe to continue the cycle of Sburb).

To be completely honest, I don’t know if a Dead Session is meant to be beaten by anyone but a masterclass, but we can certainly try!

So starting with aspects, we know that Time is key in the challenge a Dead Session presents considering how the bombs are timed and how it’s crucial to be punctual. However, other aspects play their part as well. Blood, the aspect of bonds and unity, is essential since obtaining and commanding a team of minions is highly beneficial to completing your mission. The leprechauns, though likely not always gifted with Time-based powers, remain important allies during your mission. Doom also springs of mind as a Dead Session is, first of all, dead (devoid of Life, the opposite of Doom) and is heavily constrained by rules. Planets must be conquered in a specific order with specific timing else the game is lost. Time, Blood, and Doom all play key roles in the completion of this game.

Moving onto classes, the master classes are obvious shoe-ins for victory. Taking them out of the equation (since there have only ever been one of each master class present in the comic as well as because it’s what you asked) leaves us with criteria to fill: to win the game, one must be a leader who can overcome impossible odds and triumph. They must approach problems head on, conquer planets and “crush all form of resistance” before blasting them into the black hole that once was Skaia. This, to me at least, sounds like a Destructive class, and a very active one at that, such as a Prince.

If I had to guess what classpect would do well based on these qualifiers, I’d say that a Prince of Breath would do pretty well. Destruction is their game, they’d be fit for conquering and controlling others by destroying their freedom, and if they had powers even similar to John’s, traveling from planet to planet would be a Breeze. It’d still be incredibly difficult and tedious to pull off, but if anyone could, I’d stake my claim that a Prince of Breath stands a pretty good chance at surviving a Dead Session.

As for species, I’d throw humans right out and leave the competition between Trolls and Cherubs. Humans are soft and weak, not raised to compete like Trolls, nor to stand soul-crushing solitude like Cherubs. In short, human upbringing has little to do with the game in any capacity, so they’re less likely to succeed. Trolls, though prepared for the rigors of Sburb by Doc Scratch’s machinations, probably are not well prepared for the solitude and turmoil of a Dead Session either. Apart from the issues raised by housing two personalities in one body, Cherubs are unparalleled cosmic entities that, should they reach adulthood, are extraordinarily powerful.

So there you have it! Excluding master classes, I think that a Cherub Prince of Breath stands a decent chance at beating a Dead Session and claiming unconditional immortality or whatever other prize they desire.

anonymous asked:

Homestuck game theory topic ideas karkat is secretly a highblood, trolls are jades hallucinations, heres how johnrose can still win, sburb is actually the sims *links ten part video series about how dark the sims are*, and the classic john is sans five part theory video

john is sans is so ridiculous obvisiouls terezi is sans

Void and Light Tier 4 are Out

So, let me paint a picture for you.  I woke up this morning full of dreams an naiveté.  I had a clear idea of how I wanted to Void, Light and Blood and thought I could do all of them in a single day.  I had a lot of the structure down already for tier 4, how hard could it be?

My confidence only grew when it only took a few hours to get Void ready.  Void players just straight up ban the Observer from viewing the session to the very end, and even go so far as to lie to AB so nobody can Observe them. P nice, I thought.

THEN I get to the light players.  Now, I know that Mind and Light are often at odds with each other (after all, LUCK DO3SN’T R3411Y M4TT3R or whatever), but what happened was fucking RIDICULOUS.  I spent more than 12 hours (minus meal breaks and shit) fighting the Light players stupid fucking bullshit. 

I started out going “Lol, it would be funny if they could replace other players in scenes, so things are AAAAAAAALL about them!”.  But this caused severe crashes because, get this, the Light players expected EVERYTHING  to be about themselves.   “Who’s this not-me trying to auspitize between me and me” they’d ask, right before rage quitting and crashing my damn session.

I’m tempted to just fucking NOT announce the light update at all, be all ironic and only draw attention to Void, but that’s not fair to you guys. Just.  Fuck Light players, man.

Light players also “steal the spotlight” and are more visible than other players. Since there can be only 1, they steal it from each other and cause a big clusterfuck. Can you tell who is currently winning?

anonymous asked:

So, with the combined roles/jobs of time and space players we get the result of a successful genesis frog and a scratch. Both of which set up a pretty good chance of success with the session. But, if there was to be only a space or time player in a session without the other one, might it be possible for another kind of player(s) to step in or help with the process in any way? Because Karkat wasn't the time player of the troll session, but he was the one to help Kanaya with the frog?

again, like karkat and kanaya did, you can technically make a genesis frog if you have at least the frogs on the planets and the ecto breeding equipment *edit* AND THE FORGE duh lol

but its not gonna be pretty, and almost definitely does not count as a successful frog for the sburb win condition, but it is technically a universe, just a kinda shitty one

again the forge is the most necessary thing though, so no space player = no dice

It’s true, though, Jade never just got to have fun. She’s spent her entire life preparing for Sburb: reading Skaia’s clouds, planning John’s present, figuring out how disks will get where, charting Prospit, waiting for her friends to wake up.

And that wasn’t all bad! She had fun, sure, and she loved her friends, but she’s been compelled by duty for a long, long time, and she’s been continually sacrificing things for the sake of the Alpha Timeline. For god’s sake, the girl grew up with the knowledge that her dream self would be killed, and she deliberately threw herself in front of a meteor with that knowledge. Most recently, Typheus actually sacrificed her happiness for her, but depriving her of her friends for three long years.

And that’s normal, in some ways. Everyone’s sacrificing themselves and being used by the timeline– I think Aranea put it best:

But Alt Calliope couldn’t have just told Jade to live, like she told Calliope, because unlike how Calliope made the “mistake” of putting her own development as a person ahead of defeating her brother, Jade has been consistently working for the good of the timeline, and putting that above other things. Living, for her, is so intertwined with playing and winning Sburb that it wouldn’t even entail a change. But being told to have fun, and put herself first? That might actually spur her on to live for herself.

anonymous asked:

Sorry, but can you explain sburb? Like what do you do what is the archagent and how do you win. Thank you

Sburb is an immersive simulation that transports you into the Medium. The player’s goals are to build up their houses to each of the seven gates to reach Skaia and complete their own Denizen quests to win the grist hoards. The Space player specifically will breed frogs until they produce the Genesis Frog. On the Battlefield, which is the planet at the center of Skaia, a war is waging between the Prospitians and the Dersites. The Dersites are fated to win and the Black King will initiate the Reckoning causing all the meteors in the Veil to accelerate at Skaia. Skaia defends itself with portals, redirecting some of the meteors to Earth. The players have 24 hours to kill the Black King before the Battlefield is completely destroyed by meteors. After they defeat him they place the Genesis Frog at the center of the Battlefield and he’ll grow, eventually releasing the Vast Croak. A door underneath Skaia will appear in the shape of the logo which leads to the new universe.

Wow.

Wow I have a lot of feelings about this #upd8. 

We’ve been waiting for this moment for almost, what, five years? The moment John wins. That’s the “win” of SBURB- completing your own quest is the player’s individual winning condition, where the breeding + destruction of the black king is the group’s win condition. John won. John won, after all this time, after all this heartache.

But it’s such a hollow victory now. The music sounds just so slightly off, the effects- while stunning- seem to be nearly flat and lifeless. This is his win, but it's not his win. This is what “should” have happened, and yet here we are. 

Wow.

Homestuck Gif Challenge

Every 3rd Gif

YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE GAME:


nope.

YOU DEALING WITH YOUR SYLLADEX:


YOU DEALING WITH YOUR GUARDIAN:

pretty good. i .. think?


YOUR SERVER PLAYER:
WOT.


YOUR SPRITE’S FIRST PROTOTYPE:

justin.

ENTERING THE MEDIUM:

wot x2

YOUR LAND:

LAND OF GAYNESS AND RAINBOW UNICORNS.


YOUR SPRITE’S SECOND PROTOTYPE:


Gettin’ worse huh?

YOUR FIGHTING:


“I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS, BRO”


YOUR PATRON TROLL:

FUCK YES. i lovve you Eridan.

HOW YOU SPEND THE GAME DICKING AROUND:

YUPP
YOUR CLIENT PLAYER:

well.
YOUR ROMANTIC INTEREST:

NOT COOL :c 
YOUR DEATH:

i don’t understand.

GOD TIER:

My godtier is Dean.

YOUR OTHER DEATH:

:° wot

HOW YOU SPEND THE NEXT THREE YEARS WAITING TO GET TO THE SCRATCHED SESSION:

DOING NOTHING.

YOUR POST-SCRATCH SELF:

YOUR POST-SCRATCH GUARDIAN:


YOUR PATRON TROLL’S ANCESTOR:

HOW YOU DEFEAT LORD ENGLISH:

DANCIN’. BECAUSE LORD ENGLISH CAN’T DANCE. 8D

HOW YOU WIN SBURB:

Hoping for Dirkjake.

YOUR NEW UNIVERSE:



OH WELL.