Tagged by acumberbatchofcookies

1) Briggsi, Alish, Aly, I have lots basically no-one calls me by my real name.


3) blonde/brown

4) Im obsessed with music


6) Cornwall/ or somewhere with the people I love, preferably both.

7) uuuh? to many to count.

8) dragons/dogs/cats XD

9) Never ask me that… MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG get it? XD nm…

10) Eye Of the Beholder by Elizabeth Darcy maybe.

Okay my 20 people to tag are 

gamzee-obsessed lovelionlii castiel-stole-the-impala acumberbatchofcookies my-nickname-is-lucifer emo-senpai littlehopefullmousey zalfiesherlock winjennster taylorswift falloutboy panicatthedisco (XD id laugh if they done it) bandsaremyforte taemintskookie perks-of-being-a-fangirl-221 blackbelt-in-giraffism right-ohnson1 ordan-rosby41 razier-iles ramassluf

Thank you everyone who entered and so sorry this is late but i am trash.

                                            R *  E * S * U * L * T * S

Sam Winchester Award ● Best URL ●  w: enchantedean ru: dumbledorkdean

Dean Winchester Award ● Best Icon ●  w: dandelioncas ru: compassionatecas

Castiel Award ● Best Theme ●  w: savesdean ru: starfiredean

Abbadon Award ● Best Posts ●  w: megssacrifice ru: deanmoans

Samandriel Award ● Nicest Blogger ●  w: stunningdean ru: hcllhounds​

Destiel Award ● Best Destiel ●  w: deansfreckle

Wincest Award ● Best Wincest ● w: needydean

Lucifer Rising Award ● Best Rising Blogger  ● w: queenofhellodean

Chuck Shirley Award ● Best Original Content  ● w: winjennster

Team Free Will Award ● Overall Favorite  ● w: akkels

                                                   P * R * I * Z * E * S

                                 click here as a reminder of the prizes


Take a drink (dear God not a full shot, that’d kill even Dean) every time:

  • Cas screws up something human
  • Dean makes a pop culture reference
  • Kevin complains about his severely shitty life
  • Crowley makes a sexual innuendo
  • Sam does research
  • An angel lights up 
  • Dean lies to someone he loves
  • Someone gets ganked
  • We get a reference to a recurring character not in this episode
  • There is a scene Destiel shippers are guaranteed to wank about

Bonus points if you post your reaction to the episode within an hour of it ending while you’re still hammered.

fandayo asked:

Gosh thank you for the follow (late i know, sorry!!), love this blog!!

Sam: So get this!  We got a package!

Cas: Why would they send us a package, Sam?  Were we bad?

Sam: It’s from our buddy, Winjennster!

Dean: Let’s open ‘er up then!

Cas: She has sent us some sleeping bags?  Did we ask for expedition wear?

Dean: Naw, it’s a giant PYTHON!  Aiiiii!

Sam: Guys, they’re hats 'n scarves!

Dean: Hats?  But I can’t see anything!

Cas: This is a very thin hat, Sam. 

Sam: Dean!  Your hat is s'posed to match your scarf!  That’s how you get fashionabable!


From WinJennster’s Painted Angels:

They munched in silence for a while, Dean staring up at his canvas, and Castiel studying the tattoo on the lower left-hand side of Dean’s chest.

It was beautiful woman, blonde curls surrounding her softly smiling face and green eyes shaped like Dean’s. She had a halo over her head and ethereal white wings spread behind her. Along the bottom hem of her white gown was a banner with the initials MW and the dates 12-5-54 to 11-2-83.

He was staring long enough that he didn’t realize Dean was staring back at him. “That’s my mom,” he said quietly. Cas jumped, unprepared for his voice. “She died when I was little.” He looked down at the tattoo, absently running his hand down it. “She was my first angel,” he said softly. “The first one I painted.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“She was. She was all warmth and sunshine and cinnamon.” Dean’s eyes lost focus as he gazed out into the engine bay. “I remember her getting up early and making pie and singing and just scooping me up into hugs. She used to tell me angels were watching over me. I guess it stuck and that’s why I paint angels.”

chapter 3

Close-up Dean & Cas here: [x]

And this is why I get freaked out when I get closed in on the highway.  This is why I go out of my way to avoid trash on the side of the road.  This is why I avoid crowds like the plague.  

It’s not just a bunch of cars all around me…it’s no escape route if the shit hits the fan.  

It’s not just a lot of people all around me…it’s a lot of people trying to kill me and I can’t watch them all.

It’s not just a piece of trash on the side of the road…it’s an IED that will detonate when I get close and kill me and everyone in the car.

This is my life.  This is what I deal with on a daily basis.  This is what keeps me up at night.  This is why I keep a loaded gun close at hand.  This is why I always double, triple, quadruple check that the doors are locked.  This is why I am always checking my car as I approach.  This is why I sit with my back against a wall at a restaurant.  This is why I freak out when you come up behind me.  This is why I am reluctant to go out with friends.  This is why I may act aloof when friends are at the house…I’m not really aloof…I’m alert for trouble.

PTSD sucks.

Alone at Thanksgiving? Mad at your Dad?

read it on the AO3 at

by WinJennster

It was the headline that caught Castiel Novak’s eye – as a matter of fact, yes, he was mad at his dad. And his mom. And his overbearing, far too fucking perfect older brother. And his stupid, don’t take anything seriously other older brother. Really, if it came down to it, he was mad at fate, at God, at pretty much the whole world.

I am a 35 year old felon with a GED and $5 to his name, and a noisy, late-sixties gas guzzling piece of Detroit glory that I practically live in. I can play between the ages of 25-39 depending on whether or not I shave. I’m a mechanic and work late nights in a bar. I can expound for hours on the genius of Plant/Page. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, simply to torment your family, I’m game.

Castiel grinned as he read the Craigslist ad. This dude had a set of brass balls, that was for sure.

Words: 2469, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

read it on the AO3 at
Favorite Destiel Fan Fiction (2013-)

Cooking With Gas by winjennster

Painted Angles by winjennster

Ella!Verse by frecklesarechocolate (deanhugchester)

Carry On by tamryneradani

Blackbird by artsyunderstudy

In Our Nature by artsyunderstudy  

300 Things by cautionzombies  

525,600 Minutes by CaptainLaserBeam

Show Me Your Badge, And I’ll Show You My Gun by avidffreader

Living in Agony by ChasingRabbits (odditiesexpress


In my experience with both mainstream media and art, there is a major double standard in how big women are portrayed vs big men.  For women, their size is either the brunt of a joke or something to be fetishized, and taking “good” pictures of a large woman is either taking pictures that make her look smaller or which make a point of “sexy despite/because”…which still reduces her worth to the effect her size has on her sexual desirability.  On the other hand, while they are occasionally the brunt of fat jokes, large men are more often portrayed as powerful because of their size; tanks, warhorses, bruisers, bouncers, the dude you don’t want to see coiling a chain around his knuckles and standing behind the monologuing villain.  

When I first thought of including my friend Jenn in this series, the image of the Valkyrie came instantly to mind…but not in the sense of long blonde braids, a winged helmet, and an exaggerated breastplate from a Bugs Bunny cartoon.  Instead, I wanted to show the Valkyrie as the warrior reaper Goddess of the battlefield.  Someone whom the most badass Viking warrior would accept as worthy to take him down and carry him - over a shoulder if necessary - to Valhalla.  I wanted her to be imposing, terrifying, heroic, glorious in all her nearly-six-feet, two-hundred-plus NFL-linebacker-shoulders action hero buzz cut still very clearly all woman majesty.

And holy fuck, does she look AMAZING! 

My best friend (firelily13​) wrote this for me when I begged for Destiel waffles fluff and I want to share it with winjennster​ to make her feel better. So much love to the both of you!!

The sweet smell of maple syrup wafted through the bunker and the lack of warmth next to him brought Dean Winchester out of his deep sleep. He groaned, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. He looked down and traced the spot where the Mark of Cain used to be and smiled.

“Cas?” He called, his voice hoarse. After hearing no answer he sluggishly walked out to the kitchen. The smell of syrup got stronger; he could hear soft melodic humming accompanied by the sound of the radio; Old Time Rock and Roll by the sound of things. He rounded the corner. Cas stood by the stove, spatula in hand, dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers and one of Dean’s old, worn Zeppelin shirts. Oblivious to his presence he began to dance; sliding across the floor, singing quietly into the spatula.

Dean leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his bare chest, a loving smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He stood there for awhile observing the angel…his angel.

Dean chuckled, “I didn’t know you danced.”

Cas spun around. He dropped the spatula to his side when he saw Dean standing there and blushed furiously, “I…uh,” he cleared his throat.

Seeing that Cas was embarrassed by the whole situation, Dean smiled, and stepped forward grabbing his boyfriend’s hand.

“Uh Dean what are you doing?” Cas asked as the two of them began to sway to the music.

“Dancing.” Dean said simply, pulling the man closer.

He was about to say something else, but was silenced with a kiss. Cas was unsure how long they stood there, dancing clumsily around the kitchen, looking into each other’s eyes. As the song came to a close, Dean pulled the angel in for a final kiss. Cas snaked his arms around Dean’s neck deepening the kiss.

The slamming of the door made the couple pull apart abruptly.

Cas sighed, “He’s going to find out sooner or later.”

“Find out what?” Sam asked entering the kitchen.


“Right nothing,” Sam scoffed, with a wide gesture to their linked hands, “We were wondering how long it would take you two. And it looks like I owe Charlie drinks.”

“You were taking bets?!” Dean asked appalled.

“Of course we were taking bets. We were curious when you two would stop the no homo BS. Sam had very little faith in you two, but I know unresolved sexual tension when I see it,” Charlie giggled rounding the corner, “You two are so adorable…What’s that smell?”

Cas whirled around, quickly unplugging the waffle iron, “I burnt the waffles,” he said frowning.

A few seconds later they burst out in laughter…for the first time in a long time life was good.

Chapter Five of Open Water is up :) 

Blood made the water cloudy and dark.

The only sounds feeling Dean’s ears were a high pitched ringing and his own labored breathing. His eyes focused on shadows moving in the water while the Mark burned on his arm; pulsating insistently.


Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

“Stop it,” Dean growled, shaking his head, trying to return to himself. As the water cleared, his eyes widened at the horror surrounding him. There were dead bodies all over; strewn around like dolls. Lifeless, torn apart, and destroyed. Had he done that?


Everyone here is painfully aware Dean threw away the Samulet in S5, just after Cas gave it back to him after having it for several weeks?  If you aren’t aware of this, go away, watch it, and come back when you’ve finished crying (I’ll see you in about 3 weeks).

Now that we’re all up to date here we can start talking. He throws it away in Dark Side of the Moon aka the Heaven episode. The question that’s been nagging me is why? Let’s look at the headspace Dean is in:

He just died, again

Sam’s Heavens, not to mention his good memories kind of suck

An entity (Zachariah –coughdicklesscough-) wearing his mother just told him she didn’t love him

He found out God is real and doesn’t care about humanity

It’s really starting to look like either him or Sam will have to say yes to the angels that want their meat suits

This is a post-The End and post-Changing Channels (which is SO underrated plot wise) world, which means Dean knows what happens if he fails and also that the whole Apocalypse thing is just overblown sibling rivalry

Cas has had the apparently magic amulet since 5x02 so at least fourteen weeks- over three months.

So let’s work through this list and see how this contributed to the ultimate decision of throwing it away because Dean sure as hell isn’t Ron Weasley- he has an emotional range of at least a swimming pool even if he does suck as expressing it (at least at this point in time).

Dean just died, again. At this point it’s a joke. I didn’t cry- I knew they were coming back and Dean knows he’s coming back. He even mentions “when I come back I’ll be pissed.” He’s not scared of death at this point.  I’m going to go out on a limb though that dying isn’t pleasant, especially since we know ghosts/spirits can feel pain (4x15). So dying may be the least of Dean’s worries but killing Dean Winchester is a surefire way to get him into a bad mood. It’s also revealed he’s been to Heaven before, which is a shock, at least to Dean.

Sam’s Heavens/ the trip through Heaven is also really important as a while We know Dean values family above all else, and his memories reflect that. It’s making Sam happy on the 4th of July, and getting crusts off his sandwiches. As Sam so eloquently points out “I never realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.” Dean’s happy memories aren’t happy- even at four (give or take) he was still telling his mother “its ok.” because John is not a particularly good husband or father. Although it’s slightly irrelevant, we also learn that Dean’s love of pie comes from the fact that Mary gave it to him after that- he associates pie with approval of his actions, just imagine what it does to him every time Sam gets him cake.  Back on track though, Sam’s Heavens are Dean’s worst nightmares- Flagstaff, where Sam ran away to on Dean’s watch, the night he left for Stanford- nights he abandoned (as Dean sees it) his family, the worst nights of Dean’s life. There’s no doubt he’s angry at Sam, and perhaps throwing away the Samulet, at least on a subconscious level, is a way of spiting Sam for running away.

No one ever tells Dean they love him, but the Samulet represents that though it may be unspoken Sam does love him. Canonically Sam is the only one who ever gives Dean gifts, one of the most classic ways affection is shown in American culture. It was not only a gift, but one originally intended for John- Dean’s hero. The Samulet means a whole lot to him- that’s why he wears it every day, just like he does Mary’s ring. It means that Sam sees Dean the same way Dean sees John (at least at the point when Sam gives him the necklace) - a reliable protector. Which is everything Dean is supposed to be, and the Samulet serves as a constant reminder, not only of that role, but the fact it’s the only role he’s good at.

Along the same line an angel wearing his mother’s body just told him she never loved him.  Whenever we see a manifestation of Mary she almost always interacts solely with Dean, and the fact of the matter is that Dean is the one who had a relationship with Mary, the one who carries a picture of her in his wallet, the one who gave him the skills to raise Sam. In fact Sammy is how he holds on to the fact that Mary loves him- through Hey Jude and tomato soup with rice and angels watching over him for decades. Dean’s a good hunter- he knows the thing he’s talking to probably isn’t Mary, but those words nonetheless affect him- it’s in his eyes. She represents the only stability he’s ever known and to hear her say she never loved him, even if he knows it’s not her -that would normally be enough to send him into a season long depression. No one ever tells Dean they love him, they haven’t since he was four years old, it’s implied sure, but Mary is the only significant person in his life who ever told him they love him. Zachariah took that away, placed that seed of doubt.

Dean is a self-professed atheist- we know this. He figures if there is a (Judeo-Christian) god then he’s probably an asshole like every other god he’s ever met.  The thing is though, that’s wavering, because a year and a half previously he didn’t believe in angels either. He knows they’re in deep, deeper than they’ve ever been- that this isn’t tracking down the Colt and killing YED or finding a way to save Sam- this isn’t about the Winchesters. They are responsible for the planet and their decisions mean life or death for a lot of people. It’s because of that (and maybe, just maybe because he trust Cas and his unwavering faith) he’s letting himself hope. Maybe, just maybe God will come (and seriously he’s been gone for like ten minutes by how angels view time), reign in the angels, and everything will be ok. As the audience we know from the get-go that was never going to happen, but he didn’t. He honestly had hope, for just a second that the universe was finally going to cut them a break, maybe he was even hoping they would get to stay dead this time. The conversation with Joshua cements this: “I know how important this was to you, Dean.” Of course they’re being summoned to be told God’s checked out for good and saving humanity is squarely on them. That’s a pretty huge job to be handed especially when it’s your destiny to hold the angel that wants the world destroyed.

Dean’s blindsided by that, both by the fact that God exists and that God doesn’t really care anymore about any of his creations. He’s perfectly ok with the fact that everything else exists- demons, monsters, angels, pagan gods, but throw the Judeo-Christian god at him and he’s just confused. If there’s a God who allowed humanity to form (“Don’t step on that fish Castiel. Big plans for that fish.”) then why would he abandon them. To Dean- the ultimate caretaker, who can’t rest until everyone is safe- that simply doesn’t compute. He can’t fathom that- leaving his family, no matter what they do. God, regardless of the fact that he’s, well, God, has responsibilities, just like everyone else in the universe. He’s walking away from them, and Dean genuinely does not comprehend running away from responsibility. Not only does God not exist, and not care he’s tossing his responsibility at Dean. Dean should be used to that- and it’s a blatant parallel with John throwing his parental responsibility towards Sam at him, but he’s not. He can take care of Sam, but he’s not so sure he can take care of the world. That’s not his job, it’s not supposed to be- he’s just a hunter from a long line of hunters, but suddenly it is. Dean is being handed God’s responsibility, and he may be surprised by that, but he’ll take on the responsibility anyway because that’s what he does. “Another deadbeat dad with a bunch of excuses. I’m used to this.” He’s comforting himself with that line- telling himself it doesn’t matter that God exists, that God doesn’t care because he’s just another father figure in a long line that have left Dean hanging, expecting him to pick up the slack. The job may be bigger than usual-he may not be able to save the world, but so long as Sam is a part of the world, he’s going to have to try. No matter the cost.

It’s really starting to look like one of them will have to say yes. They don’t have the details worked out at this point, but it’s become exceedingly obvious that for humanity to survive then Lucifer and/or Michael will have to die.  It’s just going to have to be how it is.  Pamela is, in large part responsible for planting that idea in Dean’s head. She’s (understandably) less than amused that the Winchesters got her killed, and she suggests that he “play ball” with Michael- after all, anyone who dies just ends up in Heaven. When Dean comes back he’s aware of this, and his “Watch out for Sammy” complex comes shining through. If someone has to sacrifice themselves to get those archangels dead then he’s going to make sure it’s him doing the sacrifice, and we see him make a move to do just that in the subsequent episode. The Samulet is a reminder of every reason why he shouldn’t do it- of why saying yes to Michael is possibly the worst idea he’s ever had. It’s a reminder that Sam loves him as much as he loves Sam and that Sam would say yes to Lucifer in a heartbeat if it meant protecting Dean. He can’t die for a Sam that’s still alive so long as he a constant reminder of just how alone his brother will be, how alone he actually was when he did just that, constantly bumping against his chest.

This a world post-The End and post-Changing Channels. The End has been meta’d beyond death so I’ll save you from yet another ‘is it real ‘ analysis because for our purposes it doesn’t matter if it’s endgame in reality or not- all that matters is that Dean thinks it’s what’ll happen if he keep saying no. It means Sam will be the one that says yes, and that, so far as Dean knows, Sam saying yes means the Apocalypse still happens because he can’t overcome Lucifer. He’s a man who not only has the imminent fate of humanity resting on his shoulders but he also knows the exact outcome of what will happen to not only to the world, but the people he cares about, what he himself will become (an image he didn’t like at all) if he doesn’t get this exactly right. He also knows that what he’s calling the Apocalypse is just “Sunday dinner” in heaven. In Changing Channels Gabriel is saying that this whole mess is because the angels are having their Thanksgiving fight on a whole new scale, and that humans are the equivalent of the plates that are casualties of a particularly vicious year. Angels couldn’t care less about what happens to humanity.

Dean knows a thing or two about explosive Earth-shattering family fights and has no interest in being involved in another one. He knows Michael and Lucifer are the only ones that care about their pissing contest (well the Fates care, but they aren’t important until season 6, so I’m overlooking it) because of Gabriel’s brilliant monologue. Most of the angels just want their family back, as surely as the Winchesters want to live.

Finally Cas has had the amulet for at least 14 weeks (5x02-5x16) which is a pretty long time, and that’s only the time we can say for sure passed. It may be long in the grand scheme of things, but in immediate time its pretty long- as a college student that’s the majority of a semester. I watched Season 5 in about 10 days and I honestly almost forgot about the Samulet at first. Also, apparently the thing can find God, which is a pretty big deal, except for the fact that God jumped ship a while back. Joshua mentions that Dean is “losing faith in yourself… your brother” which given the circumstances isn’t surprising.  Dean is probably even ok with it because they have Cas’ unwavering faith.  Up until they wake up I don’t think Dean was going to throw away the amulet because someone on Earth- Cas, their best friend- still had faith. When Cas says “You son of a bitch, I believed-“ Dean is done. No one- not Zachariah, not Pamela, not Joshua, not Ash, not Sam, not himself, now not even Cas believes they have any hope of averting their destiny. It’s the whole reason he decides to say yes. There’s no reason to hold on to hope anymore, when arguably one of the last people to believe in them loses his faith too. Everyone needs someone to believe in them when they have to do the impossible, and for the Winchesters in Season 5 that person is Cas. When Dean hears that he gives up.

Dean’s had time to realize that he may not need or even want the constant reminder of Sam because Sam is always there anyway, and so far as he knows always will be.We have Dean, who wasn’t in the best headspace prior to this episode get a whole new metric shit ton of stuff thrown at him. He already knew the Apocalypse was the worst kind of family fight and now he knows it’s happening basically because Dad went out for a beer and isn’t going to be bothered coming back. He can’t even fix his own family problems (kind of impressive considering most of his family are dead at this point), and now he’s been told that he’s the only one who can fix family problems of celestial origin. He knows he’s going to have to be the one that says yes and that means leaving Sam behind. That thought scares him more than anything- if he’s not there there’s no one to protect Sammy, even if saying yes is protecting him from becoming Lucifer, and himself from becoming a different kind of monster. Dean needs the Samulet more than ever, so he can have Sam with him when he says yes, so he can have a reason to stop the Apocalypse, so he can at least pretend someone believes he can avert fate, but it can’t be used to find God, he thinks Sam wants out, that his family doesn’t care about him, and he may be saying yes for Sam but he can’t let himself think of Sam when he says yes without telling him. Throwing away the Samulet was absolutely necessary for Dean as a character because it was the only way he knew how to handle not only the emotion Heaven brought up (a mother’s love, Sam’s view of family) but also the trampling of the only time he had ever allowed himself to have faith- in himself, in God. Throwing away the Samulet may be one of Dean’s biggest regrets but he couldn’t have gotten through the rest of the season without it.

Gifs are courtesy of deanwinchestersheart- who if you aren’t following you should be.