Okay, let’s just discuss the Weasley Twins in Slytherin, because, let’s be real, these boys were some cunning and ambitious mofos.
Fred got Sorted first. He and everybody else thought he’d be in Gryffindor just like the rest of his family.
The Hat thought differently. Like, as soon he touched Fred’s hair, the Hat was like, ‘lol, nah bro. You Slytherin AF.’
So like, it’s a minute of silence before Fred just shrugs, like ‘a’ight’. And he goes and sits down and everybody just kind of blinks before McGonagall calls George’s name and the crowds like ‘okay the Weasleys can still redeem themselves.’
Then George is Sorted into Slytherin as well.
McGonagall’s eyebrow is twitching like she can just sense what kind of trouble the Twins of Terror are going to cause.
Seven years later as they cause the best fucking dramatic exit ever, she just tosses her hands in the air and goes ‘CALLED IT.’
But yeah, first year and people think they’d be uncomfortable af, right?
They manage to find the Slytherin Common Room, and figure out the password before the Prefects can tell them so when everybody is flooding in, ready to go to bed that night, they just see Fred and George Weasley sprawled on the couches like, ‘Sup?
Snape hates them instantly. And he’s hella pissed because they are FUCKING AMAZING at potions. Like, they might be better than him- not that he’d ever admit it.
And so they’re left alone for the first month, because nobody knows what to do with them???? Cuz, like they’re pulling pranks left and right, and every now and then they’ll sit with their brothers???? At the Gryffindor table????
BUT, one day, some annoying-ass seventh year Slytherin calls them ‘blood traitors’, and he’s laughing like he’s proud but then he glances at them and sees they just have this look in their eyes.
The next day, as everyone floods in for dinner, the seventh year is found in the Great hall hanging from an ankle, completely decked out in Gryffindor colors
Fred and George Weasley are never messed with again
ALSO THEY MAKE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS AND DEFEND EVEN THE SEVENTH YEAR SLYTHERINS BECAUSE THEY REALLY AREN’T THAT BAD. YOU IDIOTS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE BEING DISCRIMINATORY
Fred hears a Gryffindor call the very same Slytherin from before a ‘death eater’ and legit just yells ‘FIGHT ME’ and straight up tackles the Gryffindor
The Slytherin just kind of stares and is like …why??
George comes upon and tosses his arm around his brother’s shoulders and says “Just consider the Weasley Twins as Slytherin’s last defense line.”
And then Christmas is coming up, and they’re kind of, maybe, a little bit, very scared of going home because they’re ENTIRE family has been in Gryffindor. Like- every. Single. One. of. Them.
They mention it to Bill, and he just scoffs and calls them wimps.
They’re the first ones through the Burrow’s door that holiday. They also learn, thanks to their mother, that their uncles Fabian and Gideon were both considered to be put in Slytherin.
Couple months later they get the Marauders Map, but that a whole other thing
And then for years, they’re wreaking havoc upon Hogwarts. Nobody is safe from their pranks, and every other week you can hear them talking about the joke shop they’re going to create.
During the twins’ fourth year, as more and more people become petrified, the entire Hospital wing is covered with balloons, and streamers, and everything to make brighter and happier. Nobody found out who did it.
Draco Malfoy and other ignorant people who use disgraceful words disappear for a week that year.
Also, when Hermione was in the library she found a piece of paper with pipes? written on it. That’s when it hits her. She never finds out who left it on the table.
The next year, the twins practically worship the ground that Remus Lupin walks on. They also meet an adorable dog that looks like the Grimm, and legit let it sleep in their room more often than not.
Their roommates are just like WTF???? But they don’t give a fuck, because let’s be real, these boys did nearly everything out of spite.
During their sixth year, there’s a LOT of shade thrown and bitter bitchiness.
and they totally didn’t use the foreigner’s ignorance to be able to prank them via their Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes cuz that’d be cruel, and wrong, and mean, and bad
Yeah, they 100% did
During the opening ceremony of their seventh year they walk into the great hall and see a toad wearing pink from head-to-toe and they exchange this very, very sly grin that has the underclassmen around them shaking
McGonagall sees it and just starts snickering to herself.
If everybody thought the Weasley Twins were terrible before… it was nothing to how they were that year.
Like, they manage to get a detention during the feast. Over the last six years they had racked up about 350 detentions. That year they, collectively, gained 462 detentions.
There weren’t even that many days year.
They broke the Marauders’ record. Remus and Sirius refused to talk to them for the first week after they left Hogwarts because of how bitter they were.
A day after they dropped out of Hogwarts they received a Howler that just said “UMBRIDGE IS FUCKING PISSED AS HELL!!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS!”
They went to an Order meeting after getting it, and McGonagall is there and all she says to them is; “get any interesting mail today, boys?”
AND THEN THE FUCKING BATTLE OF HOGWARTS
THE BOYS LEAD THE TROOPS INTO BATTLE, AND THE TROOPS ARE SLYTHERINS AND IT’S GREAT BECAUSE THEY’D KNOW DEATH EATERS BEST AND CAN HELP THE MOST
THEY PROTECT THE YOUNGER ONES AND THEY USE WEASLEY’S WIZARD WHEEZES LEFT AND RIGHT
BLAISE ZABINI SAVES FRED WEASLEY’S LIFE BECAUSE THIS WAS THE MAN WHO HAS STOOD UP FOR SLYTHERINS FROM DAY ONE
AND THEN SLYTHERINS ARE SPECIFICALLY THANKED FOR HELPING TO WIN THE WAR!!!! AND IT’S FUCKING GREAT
ALSO IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDS TO GET INTO THE SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOM THEY CAN JUST SAY: “THE WEASLEY TWINS: SLYTHERIN’S LAST DEFENCE LINE”
aries.. the world is filled with flying baby dragons, blowing ruby fire with birthday cakes, welcome to the world, the sky is covered in balloons, their wings from heaven still sewn on their backs, tiny battle swords in their hands, ready to defend their land
taurus… the air tastes like cinnamon and everything is edible, it tastes of coconut macaroons, money grows on trees, and nature sings songs… everything is cosy, and comfortable, an eternal twilight, beauty is eternal, dance is the walk of the gods
gemini… the world is thousands of little pixies flying with golden helmets and wings on their ballet shoes, messages are heralded across the sky, and rollercoasters loop through libraries so they grab a thousand books in a hurry
cancer… a giant half crescent moon hangs in the sky, illuminating the day and the night in gentle evening glow…the morning air tastes of vanilla icecream… shells are boats that transport people from place to place… the frost of snow so it can be blankets and cuddles…
leo.. the world echoes with babies giggling and the saxophones of broadway. the sun is shining, illuminating everything with silver crystals, red carpets are rolled before their feet… crowns are upon every head.. palaces line the street, and the footpaths are mirrors to reflect the exquisite beauty of every citizen
virgo… little elves fly with golden helmets and wings made of leaves.. tonics and curatives grow in green bottles from the trees… the air is fresh and the streets are clean… the earth is worshiped
libra… the air tastes of musk and strawberries and swallows fly in stunning circles, making music and art… the world is balanced on a set of scales… and everything falls when righteousness is not served… women run parliament, business, and the economics… valentines day is a day of glorious celebration
scorpio.. the world is surrounded by black sea, glowing with radioactivity… the walls around each house are high, security is important… wires connect to the cosmos transmitting psychic symbols and revelation… witches and druids line the streets with tarot, and zodiac, and empath healing sorcery
sagittarius… the world is filled with the colour, dance, and love of a thousand cultures, languages, and religions… temples hit the sky with arrows etched in the sky.. the dream of ascension in every resident… the gods and goddesses walk the street, retelling their stories in everyday life
capricorn… the world is cities lined in silver, surrounded in colossal mountains… with millions of clocks making music with time, wizards are the sherpers who guide the mountain haul, waiting on top is a slide from heaven to earth, so their mermaid tails can soak in the sea again
aquarius…UFO’s and spaceships zip through the sky, as people with fly with jetpacks and hoverboards.. the cities are light in flashing neon rainbows, and they swim in a sea of giant chemistry sets filled with swirling liquid glitter
pisces.. the world is a little darkened and it rains often, but the rain makes a lullaby, and it isn’t customary to wake until the evening… the cities are surrounded in milky water with mermaids emerging, calling and longing for their return into the sea, the place is timeless and they never awake from dream
(( Thinking a rose gold necklace with a pendant on it of a few balloons with wings. o3o ))
that’s adorable. I’ll publish this for reference so I don’t forget and I can refer back. I might fall asleep soon so I want to be able to look back and give Pinkie her gifty in the morning/ tomorrow night!
If you missed the Age of Adz tour (which is one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to) make sure to catch Suf’s full and first Coachella set as he revives his 2011 tour complete with Icarus wings, balloon suit, back up dancers, smashing banjo, and a 20 minute Impossible Soul remix. COUCHELLA MVP