So, Lucifer has been on Earth for five years right? I wonder how many near miss meetings it took before God was like fuck subtly, Imma make sure my jackass of a son gets shot up and then Imma throw a car into a bus, ignore that assholes.
I mean think about it, God was probably like:
“Oh not this again turn around…TURN A-OH COME ON!! OH MY ME!! YOUR DOING THIS ON PURPOSE I SWEAR TO ME YOUR DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!! AMENADIEL GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE AND TELL HIM TO GET BACK TO HELL! No! Don’t ask questions just do it!…. I mean I need him think that’s what I want so he’ll do the opposite. Can’t having him pull that winged rip cord and running back to Hell when things get emotionally scary for him. *rolls up sleeves and waaaaaits…throws a car into a bus* If they don’t met this time I SWEAR IMMA GO DOWN THERE MYSELF!!
The Marauders use their spare time to explore the castle grounds in order to expand upon the map. They have gotten lost 167 times, once 8 times in one day.
Remus and Peter often watch James and Sirius duel each other when they have stupid arguments. Bets are constantly placed.
In their fourth year, Frank Longbottom demanded a transfer out of the Marauders’ dorm. He was quickly denied.
Severus Snape has used no less than 68 potions on the Marauders to get them back for pranks. One was a week long stench inducer.
The Marauders have agreed to never prank each other except during their week long prank war. This agreement was made after a violent escalation that destroyed the Gyffindoor Common Room ceiling and two opposing walls
Peter hates being called short, despite the fact he’s 5'6". The others have about three inches over him. Peter sometimes gets violent went being mocked on his height.
Remus tries to get the others into Muggle music. It was a horrible mistake.
James once grew his hair out to try to out-glam Sirius. Sirius retaliates by taking Lily on a date. James needed to be restrained by Peter and Remus in order to not strangle Sirius.
The Marauders have often traveled through the portraits in Hogwarts, using a special spell. The paintings are often annoyed by this.
They have gone camping in the mountains every three months, trying to not use magic the first time. The magical restrictions are taken away the first time when Peter is found twisted in the canvas and rope for the tent.
They have strange educational hobbies. James studies Dragon biology, Peter scrolls through old Ancient Runes textbooks, Remus star-gazes and maps constellations, and Sirius studies Alchemy.
No matter how hard they try, Remus can’t get any of them to dance properly.
They have staircase races every second weekend, running up and down the staircases in the castle. Bets are placed by other students on who’s gonna win.
They successfully kept a kitten in their room for two months, before being found out by Frank Longbottom. The kitten was however, adopted by McGonagall, who named it Crookshanks.
No matter what anybody says about them, they never prank other students unless provoked. Once they find their target, they are relentless.
James and Sirius used to play darts in the dorm. They stopped after nearly taking out Remus’ left eye.
After an incident involving two shattered windows, three nearly impaled students, and six owls with broken wings, bungee cords are no longer allowed at Hogwarts.
Sirius once tried to learn card tricks, but was unsuccessful. However, it did help for his weekly poker games.
The Marauders once took a vacation to a tropical island together. They all claim the volcano eruption that occurred later was not their fault.
James and Peter have to leave often when Remus and Sirius have placed a tie on the dormitory door.
Frank Longbottom usually just waits in the Common Room until the Marauders go to sleep. He’s slept in the Common Room 19 total times due to this strategy sometimes failing.
Each of them have a fictional hero. James’ is Superman, Sirius’ is Batman, Peter’s is Moriarty and Remus’ is Sherlock Holmes.
They each have a favorite swear word.
- Peter says “damn”
- Remus loves the phrase “oh hell”
- Sirius shouts out “f—ing hell” whenever he can
- James is overly fond of “bollocks”
They have a test for first years who are enthusiastic about joining them. Several people drop out when seeing step one: the waiver.
The waiver includes the following: “Participant will be responsible for all actions and consequences of the test. The Marauders are the supervisors only, and are not responsible for any injuries sustained by, or affected by lacerations, loss of limb, incineration, and disintegration.”